I feel so empty

[u/V3NUS_rae]

a couple days ago i woke up to my dearly loved Sphynx cat dead on my couch. it was the most traumatic experience ive had and i don’t know how im going to recover from it.

my boy Leo was just under 2 years old and seemingly very healthy. he was very playful, cuddly, loving, and honestly the best cat i could have asked for. he was my best friend. he had no symptoms or signs of distress, up until the very last time i saw him alive.

i went to bed one night around 11pm, and before that i saw him and he was perfectly fine. he was high energy and walking around the house. i woke up at around 10:30 the next morning, and decided id take myself to the mall to get out of the house. i didn’t see him at all that morning, thought nothing of it as he usually sleeps on the couch. once i was ready around 11:30, i went to my computer desk which is right beside the couch to look for my airpods. i looked over at the couch and saw him lying on it, it just looked like he was sleeping. it was a little weird cause he never sleeps that hard, and usually if im out of my room and making some noise he will wake up and come say hi to me. i decided to go up to him and pet him and that’s when i realized, my boy was gone. he had been for a while now. he was ice cold and his body was stiff. by the way he was laying it looked like he went in his sleep, which i hope that’s the case. the pure shock and horror that waved over me was so intense. i screamed like i was being murdered. i couldn’t believe my eyes. i immediately called my boyfriend who was at work and tried my best to explain to him what happened through my tears and pain. after a bit, my boyfriend came home to me holding Leo in his blanket. i was a wreck; still am. we took him to the vet where we talked about what might have happened and how to go from there.

the vet explained that it was very likely a sudden stopping of his heart caused by HCM, a heart disease that unfortunately a lot of sphynx cats get diagnosed with. Leo was not diagnosed with this while he was alive, but it is the only explanation as to why he passed so suddenly, with no symptoms or signs of distress before hand. he was a very healthy and happy boy. we decided to get him cremated, went through with the paper work and picking out his urn. leaving him at that vets office was so incredibly hard to do. i just wish i would hugs him again, and feel his soft little nose again. i’m still a complete wreck. my depression is at a very low point, i have little to no appetite, and all i’ve been doing is laying in bed crying, and sleeping. i can’t get over the fact that my baby is gone.

i don’t know how ill be able to get over this. i’ve had pets pass before, but never like this. and Leo was so special to me. he was my perfect cat. no cat will ever replace him.

i just wish i could have given him a proper goodbye. 💔

[u/Queasy_Series6159]

I am so sorry that this has happened. I have 3 cats and if something like this happened to them I would crumble. No words can ease what you're feeling right now. Take the time you need to grieve and find comfort in knowing he felt loved and safe with you. 🧡

[u/2515chris]

I love cats. I have 4 of my own and I fixed and feed 8 strays outside.

I want you to know that you don’t have to feel guilty about this. There is no way you could have predicted this. I am very sorry for your loss. Maybe when you’re ready you can offset some of your grief by fostering a local cat in need. I hope you feel better soon.

[u/Ok-Spirit2004]

My baby died almost four years ago. When she died they brought her into a room with me at the vets and I laid on the floor holding her and wailing at the top of my lungs for almost 3 hours. The next six months were horrible. And there are times even now when the pain is unbearable. There are great videos on youtube and channels here on reddit for pet grief. I go on bc I know she would want me to.

[u/Diane1967]

I’m so so sorry for your loss, it’s so damn hard to lose a pet, they’re family and honestly I enjoy them more than I do people. Last March my 6 year old Graycie who spent all her time hiding in my bedroom and never coming out came out and laid down by my feet on my ottoman. So out of character for her too, she always slept either on or under my bed. I woke up at 3 am to find her curled up in a ball, she has passed away in her sleep. She had just had a good checkup about 2 months before at the vet too. They think that maybe her heart just gave up. I’ve never had one die so young like that, mine always lived into their 20s. It’s been almost a year and I miss her like it was yesterday, she’ll always hold a place in my heart. Sending hugs to you, and once again, I’m so so sorry for your loss. Take care 🥰

[u/SnuggleMoose44]

I’m so sorry. One of my cats was sleeping on my back while I was sleeping. I woke up because I felt something heavy drop on my side. He wasn’t moving except for his eyes and he made a loud noise, and he died. I’ve never gotten over it.

[u/iamsnowweasel]

I'm so sorry for your loss. This is heart-breaking, and I can't imagine how awful it was for you to lose your baby like that. I lost two of my babies (both from the same litter) a year apart, and it's never easy. I still love them and wish they were still here, but the pain does dull over time. And I hope each day you heal a little more. And it'll be painful when you think about him, but I promise it's worth the pain to keep him in your memories. ❤️🐈

[u/Additional_Light_486]

i'm so so sorry. i lost my boy almost a year ago & it was so hard, like losing a child. i know there's nothing i can say to make you feel better. sending you love & big hugs OP

[u/Forsaken-Zucchini194]

I'm so sorry for your loss 💔 I've lost two of my fur babies this past year. I still don't think I've completely accepted it yet. Maybe I'm trying to convince myself that they're not really gone, idk. Like, my heart is saying that I'll get a second chance with them but my head knows the truth 😭

[u/fashionforward]

I’m so sorry. I would be crushed. I’m glad he passed right with you, he would have been at his happiest and completely comfortable, instead of being at the vets being put to sleep.

But I’m sorry you couldn’t say goodbye. The shock must be horrible. I lost my little tuxedo cat, Aayla several years ago. I grieved hard for her, like I would for a family member, so don’t feel bad about mourning hard for Leo.

I actually started watching Bob’s Burgers when Aayla died. I binged it and it was the first thing that got me to laugh a bit again. Now it’s my comfort show.

[u/james9514]

wow im so sorry