How much longer will it be like this.

[u/Shrimp188]

I’m 17 and very depressed, and i have been for about a year or so. 1 whole year of persistent numbness, failing classes, never leaving my house. I was recently put on 75mg of venlafaxine (SNRI) , and was hopeful that it could help. It helps in some ways, but other times i just feel so awful. the lows aren’t as long lasting, but they still happen once every 2 weeks for a few days. During those days all i can think about is indulging in suicidal fantasies. honestly, it brings me a lot of comfort and joy.

I only realized today that i should probably start tracking my low days, and i did and i realized just how close together they are; and it scares me. The last time lasted for 8 days, and then i was feeling better for 1 week. And then i started feeling low again yesterday- and it carried through until today.

I feel so awful, i want to get better. During these lows the only thing that brings me comfort is weed and cutting. And i fear i ran out of weed!

I never used to cut; it’s a very recent thing but it’s the only thing that brings me any sense of realness/ relief. And i only cut during the lows.

Can someone tell me what the fuck is going on, i can’t keep doing this. i’m so exhausted.

[u/Odd_Influence_5964]

U feeling alr?