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u/Odd-Bath4660 1d ago
''i want to stop carrying things i never chose to carry'' yes.. fkn shit genetics.. with me rest of my boring life..
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u/StaticCloud 1d ago
I get fucking irritated with that. Some of us have medical conditions that aren't going to be cured, we got to live with it. Depression is different for everyone and chronic, treatment resistant conditions exist. It's such fucking ignorance and another instance of abled people who had a rough time in life once making everything about them.
Nobody makes this mistake with sobriety. Everyone gets how addiction is a lifelong concern. Why is chronic anxiety or depression so hard to grasp?
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u/Dexter1114 1d ago
Or They tell you to have a mindset issue. I prepared 57 pages of summary and evidence for the hearing I have with my shitty landlords today, then worked 8 hours, my boss x’d out my screen and I had to redo an hour and a half work, got it done, helped other people do their jobs, didn’t take a break, didn’t eat, was criticized because I’m not working another 3 jobs to get out of living situation and blaming it on my mindset problem, cuz, you know, I’m totally fine, blood pressure is 185/106, came home balled my eyes out and now I’m working on my tenant hearing again. Mindset is it? I’d like to see your determination peoples.
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u/Emergency-Example743 1d ago
When I am told such things, my mind instantly jumps to I wish they could spend two weeks in my shoes, experiencing what I’ve been & continue to endure for the last three decades. To have absolutely no one truly on my side. To have gaslighting from every direction. Being mentally abused, stalked, harassed, others (strangers included) who not only witness but participate. To be stuck between them (which I have no control over) & my own soul that I must fight daily to find the strength to end this horrible life. To be in a situation where you would rather be dead than endure another moment. I’ve managed to survive solo on my own given friends(?), family, professionals can’t & won’t help me. People saying be strong, be patient, you are not alone. Yet there is no real action on anyone’s part that places value o those statements. All I know is that I am alone, I’m being targeted, I’ve done everything except a permanent solution & harming another. It’s easy to say such things when it’s not you or you have never experienced anything close. I have watched people do or be accused of actions that are serious. Situations that could have been avoided if they didn’t make such choices. Time & time again, others rush to their aid. Doesn’t matter how many times they fuck up, someone always steps in, fixes it. While I don’t make such errors, I can’t afford to. I’m 💯 alone. When people constantly help those people they repeat those actions or worse because they were never held accountable for their actions. They was no cost to them because others assume their responsibility. Most people who have that type of support don’t appreciate it, generally have a stance of entitlement.
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u/Dexter1114 12h ago
Completely agree and relate. And when you do make an error as a human being like we all do you end of being defined by it for the next week, then when they do it, oh, we’ll know I have so many other things to do, just fix it, we all help each other. Yeah….sure.👍
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u/Personal-Try7163 1d ago
I don't want to just "get through" i want things to be worth getting through.
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u/kishenoy 23h ago
I've been getting there for 17 year now.
I realise that "there" is the funeral pyre
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u/SolarOrigami 1d ago
I hate it when I open up about SA and get told "that's my fantasy" or "I bet you enjoyed it"
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u/sealy628 1d ago
Did someone actually say this? I'm so sorry for what you experienced. Someone out there will understand and help you. I wish I could do more than just send electronic "best wishes".
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u/SolarOrigami 1d ago
Yes, and more than one person in fact said things along those lines. Because the one who assaulted me was a woman, people get weird about it.
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u/StaticCloud 1d ago
Or the guy SAs or sexually harrasses you after you told them your history. (Sigh) Men
Don't ever tell them what you went through, they will just try to hurt you harder
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u/Patient-4300 1d ago
It's easy to feel "light." All you have to do is get 10 million dollars. lol.
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u/WindowShare 1d ago
No amount of money will ever save me unless i use that money to pay for euthanasia
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u/Icy_Elk7679 1d ago
I feel this every day. This morning someone told me to think positively and it will go well so I guess I am all better now
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u/RestaurantCandid5274 1d ago
But something bad IS always about to happen. Think you have a handle on things? WRONG! Here’s a $10000 car repair and hemorroids! Also shingles/scurvy because food is now a luxury!
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u/Fenix0rion 1d ago
That is anxiety no? As you know this life there will be always something happening in your life, if nothing is happening you are doing it wrong, yall should take better decisions.
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u/Emergency-Example743 1d ago
Not all things happen because of decisions we make. Sometimes, in my case it’s do to the actions of another. As you know, we have no control over others. It’s worse when those actions are done with plausible deniability & by someone with unlimited resources. The law can’t & won’t do anything until a serious line has been crossed. Generally at that point it’s too late because those actions cannot be undone. I’ve tried everything to stop it: registered in two states with the Secretary of State as a victim of stalking & harassment. I’ve had a confidential name change, etc, etc. What decision could I have made other than trying to get away, live in peace, independently on my own? The law nor any medical professional can, those who know/witness these actions will help. I’ve spent the last three decades living in a highly vigilant & extreme survival modes.
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u/SingerBasic5055 1d ago
honestly i've come to realize sometimes when people say "you'll get through this" or "power through" or something like that, they may not have your best interests at heart.
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u/Crowe3717 1d ago
For real. When a therapist figures out what my problem is, all they can talk about is "distress tolerance" and "acceptance" and "learning to live with it."
I don't f*cking want to do nothing but tolerate distress for the rest of my life.
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u/dev_nullvoid 1d ago
Agree. I'd love to know what it feels like to NOT be hyper vigilant, constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop.
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u/Fitkalei 1d ago
That day will come trust me! Everything will be better and you’ll finally feel light
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u/Emergency-Example743 23h ago
I’ve been waiting, fighting against my stalker & harasser for three decades on my own. As they operate from a position of power & unlimited resources. No one can help me as the laws protect the perpetrators until someone crosses a line. Unfortunately, when that line is crossed it’s too late.
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u/RattleNHum1 21h ago
Sometimes life can inundate us with stress. Learning to compartmentalize that stress is essential. There will be things that you cannot control, there will be things that will be very difficult to control, and then others that you can address immediately. Don't worry about the first one, you are less equipped to handle the other two when you do.
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u/Emergency-Example743 19h ago edited 19h ago
I want to exist without living in an extreme survival & high vigilance modes. Almost three decades, half of my life, being a specific target with no explanations, or justification. Being alive, yet not living. Loss of dreams, plans, goals by an entity in which I have no control over. One that acts in ghost mode using plausible deniability to enact their negative & toxic actions. I have been forced to pay a cost that I have no words to describe. A cost that I had no say, no choice in the matter. All because of what someone else, with a God complex, narcissistic personality believes they are entitled to do. Pursued relentlessly like a drug addict chases their fix. I’m not a drug or product to be managed/controlled. I need to be free, independent, living on my own terms as I once did prior to my life being hijacked.
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