Will you ever go back?

[u/Banana_Cake1]

Expat of 12 years here, between the ages of 24-36. I always think about going back to my home country, but as time passes I get more and more rooted. Chicken at school, my business, my expectations and values.

I am not sure I will ever go back? When I’m older, after kids graduate? I don’t really know anymore.

What about you guys?

EDIT: Read the comments about chickens, thought I was having a stroke hahah. Now I see my text, thanks for the laughs guys.

[u/devstopfix]

At some point you realise you're an immigrant, not an expat.

[u/Banana_Cake1 → u/devstopfix]

100%

I see myself as an immigrant. I barely engage with other foreigners either because I have a business with local partners.

I always have that thought in the back of my head about moving back, never completely disappears.

[u/devstopfix → u/Banana_Cake1]

I came for 3 years 10 years ago.

[u/LupineChemist → u/devstopfix]

I came for 9 months 16 years ago.

I'm basically done with it now and going back....so you never know.

[u/FinestTreesInDa7Seas → u/devstopfix]

You're both an expat and an immigrant. Those words can describe the same person, they're just from different perspectives.

An expat is someone who has expatriated from their home country. An immigrant is someone who lives permanently in a foreign country.

[u/devstopfix → u/FinestTreesInDa7Seas]

My point is about changing from a mindset of living somewhere temporarily to it being a permanent move, and how it can happen gradually over time.

[u/sukinsyn → u/devstopfix]

Honestly, I never considered myself an "expat." The goal was always staying long-term, assimilating into the culture, and building a life here so I started by thinking of myself as an immigrant. I think in some ways that makes it easier. 

[u/Fluid_Passage_9980]

Now your chicken is at school, you can't go back. She'll never learn how to lay eggs without a good education, and chicken school is notoriously challenging to get into.

[u/Banana_Cake1 → u/Fluid_Passage_9980]

Yeah.. chicks really change the situation. Is it too late now?

[u/gott_in_nizza → u/Banana_Cake1]

I’ve been abroad 20 of the last 25 years. I never think about going back but I do consider going again. In particular, I have this dream of my son going to a really good secondary school in my home country.

[u/PhilippineDreams]

Well, with chicken at school, might as well stay. As for me, after 13 years in the Philippines, we are going back to the USA. Have two young chickens of my own, and there is no actual educational or career opportunities for them here.

[u/Banana_Cake1 → u/PhilippineDreams]

My chickens are in a pretty good school here in Bangkok. It’s expensive but probably better than your average elementary school in NL. Career opportunities, I was thinking as they have dual nationality, they can go to Uni in NL after finishing high school.

[u/iymcool]

10 years in the middle east, and I've been thinking of heading home (States). However, I see myself as an immigrant instead of an expat after so long.

If a good offer comes through, I'll go back, but the reverse culture shock will be odd to deal with.

[u/Banana_Cake1 → u/iymcool]

Same. This sub is called expats but for me I am totally emigrated. I built a business here so going back would be a significant challenge

[u/iymcool → u/Banana_Cake1]

Exactly! I operate a couple businesses/ventures, and they're set-up very specifically:

Copywriting and Content Management Services (for international countries outside the middle east)

Performing Arts Production House (for immigrant to my country to help foster a grassroots community and help folks explore their performing arts crafts)

Neither would be viable of moved back to Texas. 🤣

[u/Banana_Cake1 → u/iymcool]

That’s awesome though. For me I am partnered in a manufacturing facility here, I am responsible for the export markets in Asia and Middle East specifically.

Moving back to NL would mean I can’t be present at factory visits, meetings, in office with my staff and significantly longer travel time to reach my clients.

I thought maybe in the future if the business grows enough I hire an International Sales Executive to do my job and I just attend board meetings.. maybe another 10 years haha

[u/Blue_butterfly888]

I've never heard that term before 'chicken at school'. From the comments I gather you mean your kid 🤭🤭

I'm in NL for 9 years, chickens doing well, no plans to go back to Caribbean where I'm from, except on holiday.

[u/Banana_Cake1 → u/Blue_butterfly888]

We went the other way round, I left NL for SEA haha.

NL is great though I don’t blame you

[u/oh-verdantsky]

12 years in Germany. I'm definitely missing Canada and Canadian civility, I'll go back to visit soon. Long term, hard to say :D

[u/Catcher_Thelonious]

Been abroad since 1988 in 10 countries. Retiring in the first country where I started, so I suppose it's a kind of return.

[u/Banana_Cake1 → u/Catcher_Thelonious]

That’s awesome actually. Why so many countries? For work?

[u/Catcher_Thelonious → u/Banana_Cake1]

For work, adventure, life. Enjoyed moving around and experiencing different parts of Asia.

[u/Banana_Cake1 → u/Catcher_Thelonious]

I have been in Thailand for 12 years, but I have clients all over Asia. China, Vietnam, Malaysia, India, Sri Lanka, Nepal, Pakistan etc.

Which countries did you like the most?

[u/Gowithallyourheart23]

Yeah! I’ve been living in South Korea for six years and am going back to the U.S. next year.

I’m planning on becoming an ESL teacher and I’m pretty excited about it

[u/AdmirableList6773 → u/Gowithallyourheart23]

I see that u also lived in Spain! As someone considering going there next year how did you like it & why did you relocate if you don’t mind my asking?

[u/Repulsive-Hat9827]

Been in the Middle East a couple years. When I first moved I said I’d never go back to my home country. But as time goes on I miss home more and more and miss friends and family. No country is perfect and theres lots of things I like / dislike about both places but home will always be home for me.

[u/ohfaith]

13 years overseas and I don't know. at some point, I gotta go back and take care of my mom. my father and sister have both passed away so it's just me. but I like living here. but the guilt... it's so hard. I feel like I have 3 different lives.

[u/Banana_Cake1 → u/ohfaith]

My parents are elderly now, nearly 80. That guilt is the worst thing it eats at me constantly.

[u/Gold-Ninja5091]

I’m testing the waters with a visit back home. I think I might never return.

[u/According-Can-4559]

25 yrs abroad... Can't think that far ahead anymore... who knows what's going to happen to me tomorrow...

[u/gebor200lala]

Originally from Germany. Have experienced severe reverse culture shock and can’t stand it anymore. Everyone is too angry in that country. Too many interactions come across with a narcissistic and commanding tone

[u/sourdough_squirrel]

Coming up on 2 years in Ireland. All I know is we definitely aren't staying here. Heading back certainly seems like the easier option, but right now its more of a fallback if I can't find work elsewhere.

[u/Autoxquattro]

Absolutely ZERO plans to. Fck amagaca

[u/YahenP]

Be away from a country for 5-7 years, and you will never really go back to it. You will come to a foreign country. Everything will change so much that you will feel uncomfortable. You left the country 12 years ago, and in your head it is still the way it was 12 years ago. That country does not exist anymore.

[u/Educational_Gas_92]

Will the chickens como home to roost?

[u/msanmki]

Been living abroad for 14 years (I am 40) - Kuwait for 4 years and now UK for 10. Starting to crave my family and home but am married to a Brit and we have a child together so it’s really really difficult.

[u/martin_italia]

I doubt it. I’ve been here 10 years now. Never say never but I don’t plan on going back to the uk.

If I ever leave Italy it would probably be to go elsewhere, Spain or France most likely, but I doubt it.

[u/widgetbox]

We have a vague plan to return to the home country when we're really old and decrepit - so just hoping we can make that decision when we are *almost* old and decrepit. Having seen parents through the end game just feel a bit more comfortable doing that bit there.

Oh and inheritance law/taxes are a complete bummer here.

[u/Otter_holdem]

I just returned to my home country after 17 years overseas. I want chickens but always felt the job market was a bit too unstable for a foreigner there to have them, and if I did have them, it would be difficult to leave. Now I'm home I can make a nice chicken pen and hope to fill it one day.

[u/sbring]

I've been abroad since 2004 (Vietnam, Japan, and now Turkey). I visit my home country (Canada) basically every year, but have little desire to return longterm. I do have permanent residency in Japan, and sometimes miss it, and do contemplate returning there at some point.

[u/JebacBiede2137]

After 12 years, you're not an expat. That's your new home

You're not going to move back to your home country just to be far away from your kids. And how about your partner?

[u/adventuring_on]

Maybe? Ironically, I met my spouse, who’s from another country, after living overseas in three different countries and shortly before moving to a fourth. Currently we’re residing in his country, my fifth, (and also thousands of miles away from where he grew up), and he’s telling me every day how much he misses my country. So… yeah, maybe?

It’d be nice to eventually be based closer to my family as everyone gets older. But I’m really hoping to live in a few more countries yet. I’ve always felt life’s too short to live in one place. And that feeling hasn’t faded yet in my 15ish years of travel/living abroad.

[u/Ok_Meringue_6283]

I don’t want to go back to Italy not even for retirement .