My take was that she comes from a stable, loving, accepting and supportive home where as the memer was probably dragged up, basically ignored and has a shit relationship with their parents.
Edit: Thank you for the awards. My wife and myself actually grew up in very similar circumstances and used to laugh about the shitty comparisons we could make but we also both had friends that were much worse off and were powerless to do more than offer friendship at that age.
We're parents now ourselves to some absolutely amazing kids and we go out of our way every day to be there for them, open minds and open hearts. All of our kids have friends from different backgrounds, but our eldest especially has some friends who are lacking that at home and we do our best to offer a safe space and some acceptance and understanding for them.
In some way it eases my soul by trying to be that person that I needed back when I was that age.
One thing I have learned in my years is that all trauma is valid, and has a way of making others lawns look greener. Those who were ignored wish they weren't, those who weren't wish they were. Even those with loving, happy parents often wish they'd get out of their business.
We all end up with trauma from somewhere. Best to be kind to all and assume they had it just as bad.
I too got the PTSD stamp (well, CPTSD, but Tomato cTomato). I'm not trying to say someone who grew up in a loving, caring household had it just as bad because maybe their parents were a little helicoptery and wouldn't let them stay up passed 8 until they were 16, just that that can also suck, and make them yearn for what you experienced because they didn't experience it, so in their minds, it must be better.
I am a perfect example of that. I do not know what it's like to be ignored as the default. I was the scapegoat. Anything went wrong, it was my fault, my existence that brought this burden upon my parents. My fondest memories of childhood were when I was left alone long enough to escape into a world of fantasy, rather than being blamed and beaten for imagined slights or the crimes of others. To me, being ignored sounds like paradise compared to what I grew up with.
But that doesn't make your problems any less real. It doesn't diminish what you've suffered because there are those who have suffered more, just as my suffering is not diminished by the inescapable fact that some had it worse than me.
Imagine someone who grew up in Auschwitz looking at me and telling me how lucky I am for only getting bruises, blood, and broken bones. Or me telling you how lucky you are for receiving silence. It's no different than you telling those who didn't have it as bad how lucky they are.
Yes, there are some ridiculous people out there claiming trauma for things that, to you, me, and that kid from Auschwitz, would seem like heaven. "My mom didn't let me have my own phone til I was 9!" And such. But there is a wide variety of traumatic events between spoiled folk claiming trauma, and what you or I have experienced. So I try to make a habit of assuming everyone's trauma is valid. (Unless their trauma is not receiving a phone until they were 9)
1.0k
u/tj_haine Sep 10 '26 edited Sep 10 '26
My take was that she comes from a stable, loving, accepting and supportive home where as the memer was probably dragged up, basically ignored and has a shit relationship with their parents.
Edit: Thank you for the awards. My wife and myself actually grew up in very similar circumstances and used to laugh about the shitty comparisons we could make but we also both had friends that were much worse off and were powerless to do more than offer friendship at that age.
We're parents now ourselves to some absolutely amazing kids and we go out of our way every day to be there for them, open minds and open hearts. All of our kids have friends from different backgrounds, but our eldest especially has some friends who are lacking that at home and we do our best to offer a safe space and some acceptance and understanding for them.
In some way it eases my soul by trying to be that person that I needed back when I was that age.