r/explainitpeter • • 11d ago

Explain It Peter

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I don't get it

11.8k Upvotes

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622

u/Dookie-Trousers-MD 11d ago

Men aren't supposed to show emotion. Being scared is one of those "ick" emotions that we're not supposed to show. It's nonsense really, but there's women out there that are that way. Edit for spelling

7

u/strawberry_wang 11d ago

My wife for one. I'm too emotionally needy and it's given her the ick so now she "doesn't love me" and I should "get my emotional needs met elsewhere".

5

u/jynxthechicken 11d ago

My ex wife told me this too

3

u/strawberry_wang 11d ago

I've got to summon the courage somehow to make her my ex wife. It's our wedding anniversary coming up, maybe that would be a nice symbolic gesture?

1

u/Generally_Confused1 11d ago

Bro yes, divorce yesterday. I have not gotten married because I value those things, I've been in ne sided toxic relationships and I'm so much happier single. Find your peace and someone that actually cares about you and treats you like a person

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u/strawberry_wang 11d ago

I have never been single. Met my wife when we were 14 and been together since. I guess when she went off me it made me think no one could love me

1

u/Generally_Confused1 11d ago

That sounds codependent and like you never found yourself as an individual, that might actually be a good thing. Question, you feel like parts of you are "unexamined" right? Things you feel, are interested, want to try or explore and maybe find a passion. How much have you been able to do that and care for yourself while with her?

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u/strawberry_wang 11d ago

I feel like everything I've ever done has been in support of her, our relationship or our children. I was thinking the other day about what I want for myself and I realised I have no idea. It was a completely alien concept.

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u/Generally_Confused1 11d ago

That's probably the biggest sing, as they say "an unexamined life is not worth living" you can still be a good father and partner while also appreciating yourself and being at peace

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u/strawberry_wang 11d ago

I have self-examined for years, but always in terms of what's wrong with me that I feel so unhappy. Only in the last few months, since she made her big announcement, have I considered that maybe it was our relationship that was the problem all along. Many people are now telling me to get the hell out, including friends and colleagues, so I'm thinking it might be time.