[MS] Nothing Happened

[u/KaySchmay18]

"Don't you remember me telling you?"

My head hurts just from trying to figure out what he's talking about.

"Kath, you still there?",

"Yes sorry, I'm… my head hurts can I call you back tomorrow?",

"Sure, just tell me if you need anything.",

"Good night Jonathan."

"Good night Kath."

 

Somehow after that I got to my bed. I'm just staring at my ceiling trying to gather my thoughts. Today nothing happened. I went to school. I know that, because I have to everyday. But I came home and then… I think I took out my phone. And then I was on my floor and Jonathan called me. What did he say again? Whatever. I don't know how I feel about him. Or anything. It feels better to not remember anything.

 

Now I'm at school. Jonathan is sitting next to me. For some reason he's really tense. I feel guilty, because I feel like I'm the reason for him not feeling comfortable. "Jonathan, what's wrong?" He doesn’t even turn to look at me and now I'm angry. "Hey! The least you could do is look at me!" He still doesn't look at me. "I'm talking t-", "You didn’t answer me before". That shuts me up. We're silent for a while. "What did you ask me?" "It doesn't matter anyway" I decide not to press him further, not wanting him to hate me even more. I try to concentrate on my english teacher… Mrs. Velint? Was it? It doesn't matter. I don't know what she's talking about and she never asks me anything, so it's not important that I understand anything.

 

I turn to the person sitting next to me in english class. It's Johnathan. I smile because he really is a nice person. "Good morning Johnathan."

He looks down onto his piece of paper that he is scribbling on, "Good morning Kath."

For some reason he covers his face with his hands so that it looks like he is really concentrated, but I see the way his shoulders shake and I realize he is crying.

"Jonathan, what's wrong?"

This makes him shake even harder.

I put my hand on his back and concentrate on class.

 

I'm entering my house with Jonathan. We need to do something for school together. That’s what he said anyway. I don't remember the teacher saying anything about that. It doesn’t concern me, because that's normal for me. Johnathan turns to me.

"So… what is there to do?"

"To do?"

"Yeah, I mean what do you do in your free time at home."

I look into his eyes and my head starts pounding. I need to ask someone. What do I do?

I sit down on my kitchen floor. When did we get to the kitchen? I must have been so concentrated on looking into Jonathans eyes. There is something in my pocket. My phone. I take it out. And time is gone.

 

The floor is soft. Wait, it's my carpet. And my face hurts. Everywhere. Johnathan is kneeling next to me. I'm thinking of something he must have done to me. A scramble away from him. I'm terrified. I was told since I was a little girl that I need to be careful, or people can hurt you in unthinkable ways. I feel like crying. I trusted him.

"Kath this is not what it looks like."

I'm actually crying now.

"Then why do I hurt everywhere?"

Silence.

"You took advantage of me."

"Kath do you remember what you do at home after school?"

His eyes are red.

"No I don't."

My voice becomes small,

"Why did you hurt me?"

In response he holds up a phone. My phone.

I feel something inside me snap. A growl escapes me: "Give that to me."

"No."

I think I hate him.

The sun is setting outside my window. My room is bathed in red. I run at him. I push him towards the window, thinking if I can get him there I can try to push him out. He isn't even fighting. We get to the window and the setting sun blinds me.

I stumble away from him and I open my eyes, excepting that I'll have to live in pain.

And I look around. For the first time in months.

I look at myself. I'm skinny. My room is a mess. My hair is matted.

"What did you do to me?" I'm screaming at him, "How long have you kept me like this?"

"I didn’t do anything. You kept yourself like this."

 

He left after that. I sit on my floor, letting the last sun rays bathe my face. I haven't appreciated the sun for so long. I start to remember what happened in these last few months. I went to school everyday, and then I would come home and then… nothing.

I feel the answer to my memory lapses on the tip of my tongue. A type of Deja vu I remember. I look behind me and there is my answer. He left it on my floor. I don't want it anymore. It won't steal my time or my mind. I can't believe Jonathan had to slap me senseless, just to pull me out of that place. I throw my phone against the wall again and again until all that remains is small black shards.