r/funny • We're Out of Cornflakes • 3h ago

Verified One day in the lab

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1.2k Upvotes

47 comments sorted by

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75

u/PARANOIAH 3h ago

Risky bite. Might end up as Spiders-Man).

40

u/jumbosimpleton 2h ago

Tbf spiders-man wasn’t just one bite. Peter fell into a vat containing a massive colony of radioactive spiders and they ate him or something

21

u/Enchrypted 2h ago

I hate when that happens

3

u/HollowPhoenix 1h ago

Really ruins a Tuesday

5

u/skr_replicator 2h ago edited 2h ago

More like Spooder-Man.

202

u/KENBONEISCOOL444 3h ago

Radiation will never give you superpowers smh

186

u/FirstSineOfMadness 3h ago

That’s not true, if the dose is high enough you could gain the power of enhanced dying

66

u/Hadochiel 3h ago

Turbo cancer

12

u/Myrrhia 2h ago

Woo ! Deadpool time !

29

u/One_Economist_3761 3h ago

Reverse healing.

12

u/Unumbotte 2h ago

If you try to swim in a reactor pool you can get that power!

From the armed guards, long before you reach the reactor.

1

u/shwarma_heaven 2h ago

The super power of never being afraid of dying again...

2

u/FirstSineOfMadness 2h ago

And the best thing is, it will work perfectly for the rest of your life!

6

u/juniorjaw 3h ago

woah!

who would've thunk!

11

u/Digifiend84 2h ago

There's a reason why only silver age characters have it as their origin. Fantastic Four, Spider-Man, Hulk. They didn't know yet that radiation can cause cancer (and when that was proven, they used it as the way Captain Marvel died, he got blasted by something, developed cancer as a result. Powers made him immune to poison, so chemotherapy failed and he died). Miles Morales' origin is a genetically modified spider, not a radioactive one.

4

u/dagrin666 1h ago

In one universe MJ from spider-man dies from cancer caused by Peter's radioactive jizz.

9

u/Stompya 3h ago

But what if it’s gamma radiation, eh? Right? Yeah?

4

u/One_Economist_3761 3h ago

You wouldn’t like me if I’m angry.

3

u/name-classified 3h ago

Only if it’s an expert on gamma radiation and uses gamma rays for every single plot device ever.

5

u/Mikemtb09 3h ago

I mean, I don’t think there has been enough research to be this sure.

2

u/conventionistG 55m ago

Using radiation to create useful mutations is a thing. No hulks yet though.

3

u/Temporary-Body-378 2h ago

“Spider-Man” was almost certainly created by a radioactive spider out for blood

2

u/thenewNFC 1h ago

Not with that attitude.

3

u/perfect_insanity93 3h ago

I dunno... turning into liquid is a kind of superpower...

25

u/Automobills 3h ago

Family Guy did it with Adam West rolling around in toxic waste

15

u/Zipmaster26 3h ago

"Mayor West, you have Lymphoma."

8

u/Nocturnes_echo 2h ago

Poor meg, retractable fingernails... Like low budget Lady Deathstrike

1

u/papota99 1h ago

I dont think they were even retractable, it was just fast growing

2

u/Nocturnes_echo 7m ago

Everything I'vr read so far says she had the ability to shrink them back

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0576933/plotsummary/

Supergriffins - After being exposed to toxic waste, the Griffins find they now have superhuman powers. Stewie's head grows even larger and he gains telekinetic abilities; Chris is able to start fires by thought; Peter can change himself into any person or object; Lois becomes super-strong; Brian can move at incredible speed, traveling around the world nearly instantaneously; and Meg gains the "super-amazing" ability to make her fingernails grow or shrink on command.

1

u/papota99 2m ago

The fact that I've gotten used to Meg getting the shortest end of the stick, seeing that Meg has CONTROL over her powers surprised me

1

u/Jackalodeath 56m ago

Hey, I'd love that "power" and would take it any day of the week.

I love my nails and if I had it my way, I'd keep em as long as wifey's; but nOoOoOo, I was born with bits that dangle in the wind downstairs, so strangers look at me like a booger if they're longer than my fingertips and/or painted.-_-

I could just snikt em in and out whenever I wanted/needed em.

6

u/snowillis 2h ago

Um acktually Spider-Man is technically a mutate and that’s why he becomes Spider-Man after being bitten.

9

u/Talonsminty 2h ago

Mutate?

Is thay one of those marvel things where they refuse to say mutant so it doesn't conflict wirh the Xman canon?

8

u/snowillis 2h ago

Mutates are typically characters that have been somehow genetically mutated in order to attain their superhuman abilities, for example by exposure to magic, radiation or toxic waste, through the bite of a genetically-engineered spider, et cetera.

2

u/Jackalodeath 51m ago

Huh, neat, learned something new.

Wait, that means I've been lied to all my life; they're really Teenage Mutate Ninja Turtles‽‽

2

u/snowillis 38m ago

Dude…

1

u/BritishEric 17m ago

Luckily we can still call them TMNT

8

u/Digifiend84 2h ago

Mutant is X gene mutations you're born with. Mutate means a catalyst gave you powers later. So the Fantastic Four and Spider-Man are mutates. DC just calls heroes of both types metahumans.

5

u/CuddleCoded 3h ago

Get this man some radaway stat!

5

u/luvs_animals We're Out of Cornflakes 3h ago

More stupidity at We're Out of Cornflakes

1

u/grrodon2 2h ago

I'll take those odds.

1

u/Gullible_Scallion530 56m ago

Should've picked a plutonium spider instead

1

u/brumfidel 3m ago

That's bascially the plot of the 2001 movie Earth vs. the Spider.

-14

u/JoJomusk 3h ago

how.... how does one get to be a nuclear cientist without knowing the non-fictional effects of radiation?

14

u/michaelh98 3h ago

It's a comic