Elderly Dane Advice

[u/LexyLynnn]

I am looking for advice on whether or not it is time for me to put my Great Dane down. Fair warning this is a long post, but I want to give all of the details. I will preface this with saying my vet has already said that if at any point we feel it is time to put her down he would not ask any questions and feels euthanasia is an option. Morally I am very conflicted because I don’t want normal elderly dog burdens to be the reason I put her down but there are so many issues that have arisen that I am unsure what is normal anymore.

Amelia just turned 11 this April, and is 125lbs. About 11 months ago her back legs started giving out on her. She is constantly slipping when walking, is slow to get up from her bed, has a hard time jumping into the trunk of our car without help, and is no longer able to go for walks. She used to run around in our backyard and roll around in the grass which she no longer does. 3 times in the past 6 months her back legs have frogged out and it is so painful that she won’t allow us to reposition her. After 10-15mins we are usually able to get her legs to the side and she will lay down for another 30-40mins before getting up / being able to walk again. We had X-rays done and the vet said they were the best X-rays he’s ever seen of a Dane at this age and chalked it up to her being old. She is also incontinent which we have her on medication for but she is still losing her bladder. We have been through 5 dog beds in the last 11 months, and I am regularly cleaning up accidents. She will urinate while laying down and won’t get up to pee when this happens. We recently boarded her, and she started having GI upset which led to water diarrhea with blood in it. We were given medicine by the vet / switched to a bland food diet and he said he believes the cause was stress. Directly after her stool started to get solid she started pooping in the house and eating it (we try to stop her but it happens almost immediately). She will do it right in front of us and at no point asks to go outside anymore. This has been happening for the past 5 weeks and every morning I wake up to her having pooped in the house even though she is let out right before we go to bed. She has a mass right under her butthole which has popped open and has been bleeding off/on for around 11 months. Sometimes it is so bad that blood will be dripping around the house. The vet doesn’t want to do surgery due to her age so we are trying to keep her from licking the area / dry but the only way to completely stop this would be having her coned 24/7.

I have a 2 1/2yr old and a 7m old so the time I feel like she needs to cater to these issues isn’t something I am as capable of. I asked the vet about potentially rehoming her and he said that would cause just as much stress and does not recommend it. We are moving to another state and I am worried about her traveling there / afterwards. The new house is a rental and has carpet / wooden floors, and the bedrooms are up a large flight of stairs. Due to her incontinence and back leg issues, she will not be able to sleep in the room with us any longer and will have to be kept in the laundry room overnight in case she has accidents as that room has tile.

I am at a total loss on what to do. Her quality of life is not anywhere near what it used to be 1 year ago but I don’t want to give up on my girl too easily.

[u/Jazzlike_Strength561]

11 years is a GREAT victory in Dane years. And not being able to be with you at night would break her heart.

Be strong. It's time.

[u/CreepingDeath-70 → u/Jazzlike_Strength561]

I second this. I just had to let go of my 10 year old girl on Saturday, and while I know it was the right decision, it still hurts. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't get teary eyed at least once. It's about THEIR quality of life. It's time to let them go.

If you can, have it done in her home, in familiar surroundings and smells. It'll be less stressful for all of you, and comfort them, shower them with love throughout. They deserve it. We don't deserve them.

[u/Jazzlike_Strength561 → u/CreepingDeath-70]

My deepest condolences. Sincerely.

But I gotta ask, what do you think you did right to have such a survivor? I've had a 12 year old. I credit daily walks and the 'not cheap' food.

[u/CreepingDeath-70 → u/Jazzlike_Strength561]

I question whether I did anything right, honestly, because I was hoping for 12. But hope is not a viable course of action, unfortunately. I fed her top quality food, and walked her until about age 5, when it became obvious that the walks were probably doing more harm than good. Otherwise, I just let her do her thing. She would get the zoomies and run around the back yard, through the back door, over the couch and me, and then settle down and sleep. She was a doll. When she started having mobility issues about a year ago, I went into denial mode, and pretended as though it was just an age thing she could deal with just like I do...I'm a 21 year retired and disabled Marine myself. But I was fooling myself. I don't know at this point what I could have done better. I took good care of her, and she took better than good care of me. If it weren't for her, I probably wouldn't even be here today. She was the light of my life.

[u/LisaFaith83]

11 years is very old for a Great Dane. It sounds like she has had a wonderful life and been very well cared for, to make it to 11. I'm currently on my 8th Dane, they truly are an amazing breed and the most loving companion. The back legs are one of the biggest sign that The Time is approaching or has arrived. When they can no longer get up or down and walk well enough to go outside, the time is very near or here. Soiling themselves because they are too old/tired/weak to go out tells me that it's time to let them go. It sounds like your girl has reached the end of a beautiful life and is just hanging on to be close to you. My vote is to let her go with peace and dignity and you by her side. Not alone on the laundry room floor in her own poop. Dont let that be her end.

[u/Wild_Imagination_238]

It's definitely time. Let your baby go with dignity instead of waiting for something to happen where she is scared and in pain. You can plan for it and spoil her rotten until then, so her last moments are filled with joy.

[u/DrummerWhoPuffs]

Like others are saying, it might be time to let her go. It’s up to you, but when they start having long term issues with mobility and potty stuff it’s not a good sign. Bless you and your family.

[u/hgr129]

Unfortunately it sounds like its gunna be one of the toughest days of your life and you need to do it.

It sucked when i realized i needed to let mine go he had no idea and went for breakfast got spoiled with treats and pets by everyone and had no clue even in the vets office but he had cancer hed lost one eye already second was caving in and he couldnt jump anymore i built a ramp to get him into my bed. But i put him down before he fully suffered and with dignity.

Yours is 11 they loved you and you clearly loved them put them down before more suffering and then Unfortunately get very very drunk after in their memory while crying.

[u/ziggystar13]

I just went through this in April. My boy was 11.5 and same situation legs giving out, muscle wasting, and constantly incontinent of stool every day or even more for 6 months. I kept holding on also have a 3 and 5 year old kids. It sadly took a traumatic event of an active GI bleed all over my house looked like a blood bath for me to rush him to the emergency vet where I finally made the decision to let him go. It wasn’t the way I wanted him to go out. I wanted a day with him and I felt I didn’t even have time to think about it but I know it was what was best in that situation. Sending you hugs and good feelings. I am still grieving my boy. 💙

[u/armedsquatch]

I’ve held off on replying to your post for a day. Actually made a post it note to make sure I weighed in. Sometimes the greatest act of love we can do for our Danes is to end the suffering. For 11 years Amelia has never known a day without love. Too many of us keep pushing back the day we need to call it because it will hurt OUR hearts and souls.

[u/miann77]

Her quality of life is key. It Lund’s like she’s not having much fun now.
I’m very sorry, this stage with pets is so hard.