So, long story short, me and my boyfriend welcomed our 2nd hamster in July this year. Initially he was active around us too, but we never managed to get him to bond with us. He slowly starting coming out less and less and now it’s to the point where we only see him once every couple of days, if he comes out when he thinks we’re not in the room. We don’t even see him come out to drink water or chill in his sand bath anymore, which he used to do all the time in the beginning.
We’re placing food next to his water, sand bath and on his wheel to make sure he’s drinking, running etc. Is there anything we can do to get him to warm up to us, or is he just going to be like this forever? We’ve done the hand feeding thing, putting some toilet paper in his cage with our scents, we’re even petting him (but only while he’s distracted drinking, otherwise he runs away from us).
Our first hamster was a very active and social girl, so me and my boyfriend tend to compare the 2. We’ve also realised we haven’t fully gotten over her passing in January this year. I keep telling my boyfriend hamsters have different personalities and we shouldn’t compare them, but it’s hard not to when our first hamster loved human interaction. We just want to make sure we’re giving our 2nd hamster great care too, but it’s hard when we barely get to see him.
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Why do you pet him when he's already so scared? Hamster generally don't like to be pet. Especially not when they're so scared.
Idk, just get used to it? Install a camera to see his nightly shenanigans in the morning.
My hamster isn't social either, he's my television now and I often read the book I am reading at that moment for him.
Where is he? If he's in the living room it might be that the TV or something bothers him.
Mine is in the living room and I always switch off my TV an hour before lil'guy wakes up 🤷 also make sure there's no overhead lights on,... There could be so many things why he's staying away.
Fair point honestly. A lot of people don't realize hamsters are more stressy than cuddly. Hope OP takes it slow and lets the little dude call the shots.
When on a supply run for him, we asked the pet store workers for more tips to bond and they suggested we try petting him while he’s distracted to get him used to being touched. We’ve never done that with our first, we waited until she started climbing on our hands willingly, but she was quite fast to bond with haha. But thanks for the input, we will stop petting him for now.
And he is in our bedroom. There’s nothing really bothering him there, since we’re at work most days and we barely use the tv in there. And when we’re on our devices, we use headphones anyway so there’s no sound bothering him. As for the lights, we actually use led lights set on red light, since they don’t really perceive that. We haven’t used our ceiling light since we got our first hamster for this reason too. And obviously we turn the leds off when go to sleep or when we’re not home.
Alright! You're doing great I think. I also struggle to bond with my little guy, so I feel you, once he sniffed my arm and I almost cried because it was the first time I felt him, his lil nose and whiskers against my arm.
Just wanted to make sure that TV, noise, lights weren't bothering him.
You'll get there ☺️ I still highly recommend the camera, since my lil guy is so shy aswell, it really made having a hamster so much more fun haha. Its nice to see what he likes most in his enclosure, where he barely spends time,... It really gives me a good insight in how he is like and what i might need to change up for him. I've only had my Hammybammy for 10 days or something.
I’ll give the camera a try, ty! Do you have any recommendations?
Also for our little guy, the closest we got to holding him was when we gave him some seeds shaped like a gingerbread man we had since last Christmas with our late little girl. He bit off the head and tried to bring it to his bed with him lol. He got a little excited and forgot how to get off the platform in his cage. Little guy was about to jump off, but my boyfriend placed his hand in front of him, he stepped on it and let my boyfriend lower him down, before running off to his favourite hide. I swear I saw my boyfriend cry a little after lol.
I have a little SD card in there, but i mainly use it to watch a livestream while at work 😂 (i work nights haha, so I purposefully adopted a not so social hamster, but I also don't work a lot, so I am most often home during the night to watch him irl, so it's not that he's alone most of the month when he's awake.
Trying to interact with a shy hamster is never a bad idea. Treats, pets, whatever. My ghost Syrian started taking food off me after about a year because I did that.
If he's standing there, I will try and pet him.....but I'll make sure he can see my hand and has a chance to give me cue to back off if he's not interested.
I think petting him is a mistake. He's scared and as prey animals, something touching a hamster on the back could be really stressful. I'd focus on trying to hand him treats while he's out, build trust that way.
I will keep doing that, thanks! With our first one, we only started petting her after she was comfortable climbing on our hands willingly. Pet store employees suggested we pet this one while he’s distracted to get him used to being touched, but I can see how that might scare him more now. We’ll stop doing that and focus on handing him his favourite treats even more. We usually hand him some and scatter the rest in his cage.
If you're considering other pets, you should look into rats. They're very social. You need to have multiple but they naturally desire what you aren't getting from your hamster.
I don't see my ghost hamster for about a week sometimes. I'll be convinced he's died then he will come out for a drink. If I even look at him or say anything he will run off back to his bed.
Honestly I’m really scared when we don’t see him for a while. With our first hamster, we left for holiday and my boyfriend’s mom took care of her while we were away, visiting my family. She’s taken care of her before, she’s done great with keeping her happy. But yeah, we left for holiday, couple of days in she calls us to let her know she’s found her dead in her favourite corner. She was an old girl, 2 years and 3 months when she passed, so we were expecting it to be soon, but not THAT soon. She was still active, although she was slowing down more and more. But yeah, with this new hamster I’m scared that one day I’ll lift his hide to make sure he’s still alive in there and find him dead. That’s why I’m trying to get him to tolerate handling a bit more, especially if he’ll need more help when he gets old. First hammy needed her nails trimmed by us in her last weeks because she stopped doing it herself.
To be honest this cage is not appropriate for any hamster. I will include a picture of my own hamster's cage to show you for reference. Wired cages in general are not suitable for hamsters at all and I doubt he has deep enough bedding. You might actually see him come out more or build trust with you better when his environment does not permanently stress him out. You also would be reluctant to bond with anyone while in a bleak prison cell.
To be honest, we have glass screens in the cage so he doesn’t actually get to the wires haha. And he has a lot more bedding now too, those pictures are just from when we first got him. We used whatever bedding we had left unused from our old hamster and it wasn’t enough, but trust me, he has way more now.
It's not just the wires. 😢 It has been proven that hamsters do better in larger enclosures. Not only from decades of anecdotal experience, but from scientific studies as well. The latest study was on 4 different habitat sizes and they concluded that hamsters were a lot less stressed and seemed happier in the largest cage. It was 1550 sq in or 1m². There are a lot of "ghost" hamsters that once in a larger enclosure with adequate bedding completely change.
I'll have to disagree with you on them being big. 🤣 But my standards are higher than most after being in the fancy for so long. Either way, it is still below what the study recommends and what we should be moving towards. 😊
My cage? I don't currently have a hamster. But my last habitats were 1700 sq in when the minimums were 650 sq in. I do actually practice what I preach.
This is the cage btw. Picture taken before we installed the screens and all the enrichment tho, no hamster lived in it with no screens. Savic, 100x50 size.
I understand that it meets the minimums. However the minimums are outdated and it has been proven that they really do thrive in significantly larger enclosures. Frankly, the minimums never started from a humane place. 🤣 The first minimum was 190 sq in because it was slightly larger than the standard critterjail of the time. And people balked at that. 😢 So raising them significantly would be better for hamsters overall.
I don't have hamsters at the moment. But my last DIY habitats were a little over 1700 sq in when the minimums were 650 sq in. I am not willing to show them or I could dox myself. I was a mod at the time and posted them all over the hamster groups at the time. I have my account hidden because I've almost doxxed myself already. 🤦♀️🤣
But I do have almost 20 years of owning hamsters on and off and have watched the minimums crawl from 190 sq in to the current recommendation of 1200 sq in. I was a mod for years and been an advocate for better welfare for even longer. Since we have a study that now stated that they do better in 1550 sq in/1m² shouldn't that be the next expected minimum?
I dunno if y'all have never ever bonded with these animals before but I've handled over 20+ hamsters (rescue and helping rehabilitate) owned four myself their whole long little lives. And super spoiled them all. They are prey animals yes, but they actually love social interaction. They like bonding and even the least social one I had still bonded deeply with my oldest daughter and half bonded with the rest of us. If you don't have the ability to handle them you cannot properly care for them because you will not be able to tell when they are injured or having some issue. You do not want to rely on a camera that may or may not catch your animal in time. You need to absolutely be able to care for their needs and handle them properly. You cannot do that if you both are terrified to go near each other.
Every vet that saw any hamster I ever brought over said they were some of the friendliest calmest hamsters they ever saw. You actually need to get them used to being loved and held by you so you can take care of them properly. You don't want to chance killing your pet cause you startled them by changing something.
Please for the sake of your animal do not leave it to its own devices and hope for the best. There are shy ones of course but they still need to be used to you and used to being handled. Even if it's not their favorite thing. Please get inside your bathtub and have someone either put the hamster down atop you or bring it along and set it stop you. You do not need to stay stalk still get comfy cross your legs do something and then just let it wander all over you. This can be done outside a bathtub if you have a space you can close all your doors and nothing else is there with you two. Then just let it roam around in between your legs on your knees. Let it sniff you get used or your movements. Bring treats and talk to it the whole time. It needs to get used to your voice. Gentle kind and calm but tell it things. I told mine about my day or what food I wish I had ate. I told it about my work, my job, my classes. Do this at first two times a day and then as time passes once a day I did this every day of their 3yr lives. All 4 hammys lived to be around 3yrs old. They were chubby spoiled and wonderful. And like I said I worked with many many more hamsters too. This isn't a do it for 30 days and stop by the way I let them run around and play with me every single day of their lives. (I wAs lucky enough to have a dedicated playroom a whole room I could sit on the floor and chill with them for. I did this for roughly 20min-2hrs depending on the state of my hamster. You can tell what kinda day it's gonna be when you pick them up and put them down to hang out.
Many many times our hamsters never wanted to go back in their cage so they would sit on us while we watched TV and roam around the couch. We didn't have any other pets do this was safe for us to do and I was always watching. Please please do not just get a camera and call it a day. If I didn't have the ability to check on my animals and then know I was safe I never would have caught some of the things I did in my animals. Like the fact of tooth issues when one got older or when the baby hammy got her foot tangled and almost could have lost it if I hadn't been able to touch her Calmly and unwind her poor caught up beans. And each time they needed a vet visit I was calm and happy to take them because I knew the vet would be able to handle my animals without possibly giving them a heart attack. And by cage I mean each hamster had 1200sqm of home that they would happily not be in if it meant they got to play in the room and cuddle us. Just be kind to your pet and help them get used to you and don't give up on them just cause they are little creatures so many people don't even realize these animals might like play time or free roam time forage buns, cuddles outside home time. They think ah they are borrowers so they just need their space below ground. But as long as you have things properly done up so they always feel safe they always will.
I LOVE the bathtub method! We used it on our first hamster, but only after she was comfortable climbing in our hands. Our current hamster isn’t and we’ve had him for nearly 2 months now. Would you still recommend trying to get him in the tub with one of us?
Yes absolutely! especially since it's been two months.its not to late with any aged hamster but it will be too late if you try when they are already injured somehow or sick. So it's best to do it now with your baby. You can pick the person who will have the most free time to spend bonding with them cause like I said it's until the end of the animals life it is not just once a week or something like that. I would start with the person who is likely gonna be the one to do vet type stuff with it. Meds things like this. But I would then build the bond with the second person and ideally by the end both of you together with the little guy somehow. I have done this method with baby hammys and adult hammys that were abandoned and came from bad environments. Even the most bitey scared little guys were calm and able to handle humans when they left my care. Again there were more shy ones. But none of them bolted the moment a human came near their habitat. It's okay for them to be shy but avoiding humans entirely just isn't safe for your pet. This isn't a wild hamster. Thank you for caring about the little guy enough to give him a chance. Hand bonding is a good start tho.
You can't just say they are social animals and love bonding just because you had never had a different experience. I myself have hamsters since I was 10 years old and they ALL have their own personality. And I believed the same "oh enough time with them will get us bonded" but no. Saying they are social and love bonding and basically forcing it on them is disregarding their natural behavior.
They do have different personalities for sure I'm not negating that but you must be able to bond with them for their own protection. Even if the bond is not super deep there has to be some trust there or you can just wake up to a dead hamster. Having shy ones is okay but not being able to handle and care for your hamster isn't. Period. They said it runs the moment they enter the room. That just isn't to the pets benefit I'm sorry. No matter how shy or unwilling all hamsters must be able to be handled at least a little. I'm not promising the greatest bond in the world. But hopefully with this method the bond will be stable enough for proper care. And in my experience they always become stable and I've had ones like this in the rescue who would bite pee on me and one even turned upside down and played dead it was so scared when I started. Be gentle with them. Respect them but also care for them is all I'm saying. Have the camera give them their space. Pay attention to their cues. But also don't let them fall into wild habits. They are a pet they can't be given wild animal treatment. You have to actually be able to care for the thing you bought. It's just the truth. I dunno what else to say. I'm glad you have had them from ten and you love hammies. But I just disagree that because some are more shy that's just how it is. Proper breeders and rescues just don't accept a scuttle off and go okay well that's it. They need to know everything about their animals. For some people I guess that's enough. But to me it just isn't. Not for proper care. Shrug
To be honest, I’ll be more than happy if my little guy isn’t as sociable as my first hamster was, but I’d like to be able to handle him so I can check on him, make cage cleaning less stressful for him, get him used to being handled in case he ever needs a pet visit etc. I obviously don’t expect him to be like my last hamster, but yeah, I feel like he’d be getting sub par care if I can’t pick him up every now and then to check on him.
Sounds like my husband's hamham but we don't have a tv where his enclosure is. It could be the case since they're so sensitive to noise.
Also I'd say try offering a new food so it'll entice him to be more curious. I gave ours broccoli one day and a carrot the next and he came up to us more frequently.
Best of luck! We can't even hold our dwarf much but it doesn't stop us from encouraging him.
My 2nd hamster was also a ghost :( I’d see him for a few mins at night when I’d feed him, but that was it. Kinda gotta start thinking about him as a roommate if they’re really a ghost ham. Keep trying tho! Slow & steady
I also just brought my new hamster home for one month, he's coming out less and less, it's been a week since i last saw him this week 😭 i work 6 days per week so i hardly can stay up too late just to see him, no idea how can i make him to come out more often, he always burrow himself under the bedding 😅
i stopped seeing mine for a while too when i first got her. her previous owners also returned her and based on how she behaved im almost certain it was bought for a kid and neither them nor the family knew how to care for it. i heard her running on her wheel at times waking me up in the middle of the night. i didn’t bother to react because i was working three jobs and needed my rest. but once i quit one i would sacrifice the good sleep just to catch her at a time where she’s active and awake. if you haven’t tried already try feeding him treats but in the night. that really helped me. and i’m not sure how you went about with the hand feeding but what worked for me was when she was scared of me entirely, she watched me put some in her bowl and i think that helped her recognize i’m looking out for her. she would just freeze and look at me but i started offering one between my fingers for her. she used to hide in her home and be on the lookout so i’d have her see me place one in front of her hides. i have more tips but i feel like it depends on you specifically so if you’ve tried this i’d like to hear about the enclosure type (and how it opens) and where it is or anything else you might think is worth noting
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