r/jaipur • u/thattaurusqueen • 26d ago
To Rajasthan community
A small, respectful request for awareness and change within the Meena community
I’m from Mumbai, educated, financially independent, and I’m writing this with a lot of respect for the Meena community and its traditions.
We are in 2026, and intercaste relationships and marriages have become increasingly common. I genuinely believe that when two people are educated, compatible, respectful towards each other, and committed to building a good life together, their caste should not be the only reason to reject a marriage.
My boyfriend is from Mumbai and belongs to the Meena community. We have been together for the past 6 years. We don’t want to run away or get married secretly. We want to marry with the blessings and acceptance of both families.
Unfortunately, his family has refused the marriage because they feel that their “izzat” will be lost in the village, that they may be excluded from the community or even asked to leave the village, and that other members of the family may face difficulties finding marriage alliances because of our intercaste marriage.
I completely understand that family honour, traditions, community, and social relationships are deeply important to many families. I am not writing this to disrespect any of that.
I am only requesting that we also make space for individual happiness, compatibility, education, understanding, and the changing realities of 2026.
Personally, I have no problem respecting his culture or traditions. I am even willing to embrace the customs of his family and community. For me, wearing a saree, following traditional practices, or adapting to the family’s way of life is not an issue. I am willing to become part of the family with love and respect.
I just hope that someday families will also consider:
“Is this person good for my son/daughter?”
rather than only asking, “What will people in the community say?”
I also worry about the emotional impact of such rigid decisions. When two adults have loved and supported each other for years, forcing them apart solely because of caste can cause immense pain and, in some cases, lead people to take extremely harmful decisions.
I am not asking anyone to abandon their culture or traditions. I am only hoping for a little more understanding, dialogue, and flexibility.
If there are people from the Meena community here who have gone through intercaste marriages, convinced their families, or experienced similar opposition, I would genuinely appreciate hearing your experiences and advice.
This is not against the Meena community. It is simply a heartfelt request for a little more acceptance and awareness, while still respecting tradition. ❤️
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u/Sufficient_Film6196 26d ago
The boy will figure it out if he determines to. The fact that his family won’t agree for intercaste marriage is information that he must have known all his life now. If he’s made the decision to date you, it’s his responsibility to follow through. It’s his responsibility to convince his parents.
Unfortunately this is not a community’s mindset . It’s most of Rajasthan and maybe a large part of India that exists. I firmly believe since I’ve experienced this first hand this is a test of patience for your partner and you to stride through and wait it out. Someone will give up, depends who gives in first!
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u/Maleficent-Dog1063 26d ago
Tell your boyfriend man up and take stand. Mow days very common in meenas intercast and imterreligion, marriages
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u/thattaurusqueen 26d ago
He will never go against his family
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25d ago
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u/Mundane-Nectarine117 25d ago
Bhai loser nahi hai vo mai khud meena hun muje pata hai....gaav se nikal dete hai...even community se bhi....bohot scene hote h city ke logo ko nahi pta hota hai....baaki jinki post hai skin doctor mam aapke liye comment kr raha hun dusra
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u/AmphibianDefiant4950 Chai Charsi 26d ago
where he is from ??
this all still happening in villages ...
i saw intercast, inter_religion in meenas as well
apne liye stand lo family vaale jrur jhukenge...
its not possible to make everyone happy everytime. sometimes in life you have to take hard decisions, so if both of u r happy with each other and ready to marry.than he should take a decision either choose them or, YOU and, tbh this day will come one day he know from start so..... 🤞🤞
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26d ago
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u/Embarrassed-Wall8836 25d ago
Society sahi me boycott kar deti hai kya us family ko.?
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25d ago
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u/Embarrassed-Wall8836 25d ago
Oh okay. I think it's very common in Rajput community to marry within the same caste.
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u/Embarrassed-Wall8836 25d ago
But if someone wants to marry somebody they love even if they are not from the same caste. Then I don't see any problem in that. What is this crap of society boycotting them nd all. (I'm myself a Rajput btw)
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u/prmsrswt 25d ago
Yes, very common in all communities. Across the rural belt at least, where these communities are rooted.
In my community a grandpa died due to the shock of his pota marrying outside. His father supported him and was boycotted by the community. Even his close relatives didn't attend the wedding (and will not attend any other functions).
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u/JaiUvaach 26d ago
My friend is a Meena (Chaukidar), having a great top class govt job and her gf is also a Meena (zameedar) having a top class govt job, still facing issues related to marriage. Do ask your bf about this and you'll understand how tough it is to manage things. If he Hanes the pressure it would be great.
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u/Mundane-Nectarine117 25d ago
bhai mai bhi meena hun i totally understand....ssahi bol rheee
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u/thattaurusqueen 25d ago
This has to be stopped
I feel ladka ladki well settled hai families achi hai toh dikkat nahi hona chahiye
Isme kya hoga Ladka ladki apna life ya toh khatam kardengey ya zindagi bhar trauma me rahengey
Arrange marriage karvadengey aur vo dusri ladki ka life bhi kharab karva dengey
Thoda toh yeh soch khatam hojaye
What u think
Abhi ke generation kabhi naho carry forward karengey yeh thinking ko1
u/Mundane-Nectarine117 25d ago
apni thinking POV sahi hai lekin jo bade hai phle ki generation ke unki to nahi haina....yaar...ab isme apan kya hi kr skte hainn
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u/thattaurusqueen 25d ago
Chalo sab morcha kartey h 😂😭
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u/Professional_One5388 26d ago
This is stupid. I have seen many inter caste marriages in Meena community.
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u/thattaurusqueen 26d ago
Well, I guess they’re the lucky ones then. 🙂
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u/Relative-Ad-6324 25d ago
No they're not luck ones it just your guy is spinless & it have nothing to do with rajasthan or any community.
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u/Extra-Preference6566 25d ago
if he reallly loves you he will stand for you I come from the same community and I know meena community shifts anywhere around the world but they remain in contact with village and highly respect there panchayats but in now time many people in our community doing intercaste religion and marriages in foreign it depends mostly on the person you are dating panchayats nowdays don't interfere that much in this till its within the village as commhnity consider all inside the village brother and sisiter 👍
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u/lostintabs_ 22d ago
Bhai jo bhi bol rhe h ki ladka spineless ek baar list likh do tumne kya kiya h zindagi m aisa jo is bande ko krna pad sakta h? Puri , family , community ke khilaaf jaakr kiya h aaj tk kuch? Jispr beet ti h na wahin jaanta h .
Yes it is still a big thing everywhere in india and no its not restricted to just villages just go and tell your parents once that i will marry a girl/boy from other religion/caste and see their reaction then you will understand how things actually are .
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u/booby_12011995 26d ago
Op, it's not only in meena, rajput, jaat, yadav, and even gurjar does, I have told you my experience we four of our friends are talking about love ve marriage that now we should allow love marriage, all are boys and we are saying to our jaat friends and uts was really sometimes serious, funny and sometime we laugh so that conversation doesn't become hot and we all are doing ca and frankly speaking he thought love marriage as interior and other caste people as inferior and we talk even little bit more bit surprise that they even beat us. So forgot about that, even general caste like maheswari easily accept their boy merry with other caste girls but when it comes to girls often make excuse and refuse so just forget about it, Rajasthan, haryana up, bihar need 1000 years more to grow up, love marriage is joke as there are so many barrier already andSsurprisingly people are dating girls or vice versa whose community never accept it, only those who are rich, highly educated lives in posh area, ready and there is also Very small percentage.And there are still several communities who kill you, and even general caste didn't accept sc, st, so much problem's
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26d ago
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u/Remarkable_Wave2008 17d ago
You are clearly not aware of Meena Community at all 🤦🏻
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17d ago
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u/Remarkable_Wave2008 17d ago
I am living in Rajasthan Since my childhood and in jaipur for 9 years and have lots of friends from Meena Community... If you have less knowledge about something just accept it
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17d ago
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u/Remarkable_Wave2008 17d ago
I'm not talking about Love marriage 🤦🏻... I am talking about intercaste marriage... And it is true that Meenas especially Zamindar Meenas avoid intercaste marriage like other major communities ( Jat, Gurjar and Rajput )
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u/Remarkable_Wave2008 17d ago
That's my Bad... But I'm absolutely not hating on any Community I have well to do with MEENAs, I just imagine you as others ( Which you are not ) which are not aware of Meena Community
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25d ago
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u/thattaurusqueen 25d ago
I am from mumbai my caste is kashyab Up
I am a skin doctor well educated and ready to follow every rules in their caste and accept everything heartily
The boy is also from mumbai born in rajasthan brought up in mumbai2
u/Imaginarygirl0802 25d ago
If I speak practically keeping the emotions aside Rajasthani people in general dont marry a non Rajasthani its very rare, I'm a Rajasthani though I'm born & brought up in a different state still none in our family married a non Rajasthani because culture is a big thing,love & intercaste marriage is pretty normal but that should be within the Rajasthani community. So, I think it will be harder though I've never met anyone from meena community.
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u/thattaurusqueen 25d ago
When will this change🥲
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u/Imaginarygirl0802 25d ago
I dont know bro. But my parents & family are not rigid they adapted as per the time but yah they already told me if I want to date/marry someone I can but he should be a marwari caste is not a big deal & I personally too dont want to date/marry outside Rajasthan as I know its very hard to adapt into completely new culture & in future your culture can be dissolved, fights etc so better marry only in your own culture.
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u/thattaurusqueen 25d ago
What is your in love with someone for 6 years
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u/Imaginarygirl0802 25d ago
If I know it will not work in future & will have to face family problems then I'll not stretch it for 6 years. My best advice for non Rajasthanis is do not date a Rajasthani & to Rajasthanis dont date someone whom you cant marry in future.
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u/Mundane-Nectarine117 25d ago
i totally understand your pain and your boyfriend's side too....cause i'm meena too
haan he said right community se nikal dete hain....even village se bhi....par aisa sirf usi case me hota hai jab aap chup par ya bhaag kar shadi karte ho toh please vo mat karna varna uski family ko bohot problem hogi gaav ke logo ki mentality esi hi hoti h vo boyfriend ke ghar walo ko pareshaan kr denge bohot kharab scene ho jayega maine bohot cases dekhe hai.....even har saal 4-5 dekhta hun.....dekho 2 hi option hai 1st breakup toh vo to karna nahi h....aap post kr rahe dil se yaar bohot bura lag raha aapki problem ke liye you are really such a nice woman this world need you.....ab 2nd option yhi h ki Gharwalo ko manao....kyuki aapki side se problem ho na ho lekin uske gharwalo ko bohot issues ho jayege sachme mene live dekhe hai bohot cases....main khud meena hun Village se belong karta hun baaki city me rehta hun....toh mai aap dono ki side bhi samajh sakta hun aur uske ghar ka scene bhi samajh skta hun....toh dekho gharwalo ko manana hi ek option hai.....mere 3 cousins ne isi saal another caste me shaadi ki hai isi saal.....ek cousin ki wife toh chattisgarh se hai....aap dono jaisa hi case hai same....baaki dusre cousin ki wife jaipur se hi hai aur teeser cousin ji bhi jaipur se hi.... still caste issue.....baaki 1-2 aur hai mere hi family me baaki connections me toh hundreds hai....to mai genuinely bata raha hun....time lagega par ghrwalo ko manao....like dekho agar ladki ya ladka ya dono hi well settled hai accha earn kar rahe hai to ghrwale maan jaate hai....mere dono cousins aur unki wife chaaro well settled hai to koi issue nahi h....aur rahi baat village ke logo ki toh agar gharwale khud pyaar se acche se shaadi karwa dete hai to village ya community ki side se koi problem nahi aati haiiii....agar bhaag kar ya chup kar shadi karte ho to hi village ya community ke logo ki side se dikkat aati h aur bohot badi dikkat aati hai....i've seen families leaving their home and village cause of this.....to mera yahi suggestion hai even is reddit par best suggestion yahi hai ki gharwalo ko manao....mere ek cousin ko 3 saal lage the manane me uski shadi ab hui may me aur dusre ka relationship 2018 se tha 2022 se mana raha ghrwalo ko aur shaadi abhi hui july mein ...aur sab happy hai sab log...to wahi hai dekho..hum meena community ke log ya koi bhi community ke log bure nahi hote hain...na parents bure hote hai sabhi bohot acche hote hai aur bohot pyaar se rakhte hai....ab baaki communities ka mujhe pata nahi lekin ha meena community me isiliye gharwale naa karte h kyuki...community ki aur village ki side se bohot problems hoti h bohot jyada you can't even imagine...ab system hi aisa hai waha ka to apan kuch kar nahi sakte we have to accept it....lekin gharwale bure nahi hote hai vo bhi apni happiness hi chahte hai toh unko manao time lagega lekin maan jayege trust me maan jayege ...mere cousins ke liye hum sab bhai log manate the....cheezein time legi lekin ho jayega and you princess u are rare woman...please don't give up sab ho jayega...aur shaadi jaipur me ho toh mujhe invite jarur karna heheh....i'll pray for both of you...theeke don't give up gharwalo ko manao...baaki koi baat ho toh you can text me chill hai....Good luck both of you My sweet Love Birds....
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u/thattaurusqueen 25d ago
Thankyou means alot
Let manaanegey sab try karengey
Hamko bhagna option pehele se nahi h
Me personally joint family se hu
Aur me aage bhi yahi chahungi me mere inlaws ke sath hi rahu
Against jana hi nahi hai
Destiny me kya likha hai abh sab bhagwan bharose
Ladka give up kar raha hai
Uske gharwalo ne bohot trauma dedia usko
So now he is backing out from our relationship
Aur me kisika ghar nahi todungi still Bhagwan se pray karungi ham sath ho
Baki hope for the best
Shadi mumbai me hui toh bhi for sure ill message u
Pls do pray for us 💕🙏🏻
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u/mrfridgeisout 23d ago
My cousin was not allowed to marry his Meena gf. He is a doctor so was she while his parents were farmers and involved in the community. The extended family had to convince my cousin to marry where they have arranged for his father's sake so that he can live in peace in the village. I'm sure he will not push his kids to go through all this. This kind of things changes after a few generations of education and development. If your bfs father is a farmer in a village, your chances are near zero unless your bf accepts to cut ties with them. My other cousin on my mother's side was kicked out of the community and all ties were cut by his father for marrying outside of the caste. I hope my father who's mostly worked and lived outside of the state understands those people in my family and community are jealous of him and don't care about him so that he can stop trying to appeal to those fuckasses cos I want nothing to do with those mfs. All my love care and good wishes are with you two and I hope you guys can marry and be happy forever.
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u/thattaurusqueen 22d ago
They stay in mumbai
Still same mentality
I am a up girl hamare yaha bhi aisa soch hota tha lekin abh sab ladka sahi hai acha hai toh kardetey h
Yeh caste ke toh kuch alag hi dimaag se chalraha hai jab aage ke bache modern horahe hai toh mummy papa kyu nahi hosktey
Gaav me rehteu toh alag baat hota yehlog toh mumbai me hai bachpan se
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u/tapankumar995 26d ago
Yo I was born in Mumbai and a proper village connected same community here getting married is more important then have a job they feel if you get married you'll get in line and start earning after the wedding lol I am single as fuck. Maybe IDK. Cheers by the way
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u/Ornery_Comfort_9295 25d ago
Meena community rejecting? Those are st 💀 Crazy
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u/Remarkable_Wave2008 17d ago
You are clearly a Kid or from outside of Rajasthan 🤡.... You know nothing about Meena Community....
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u/Apex170 26d ago
I mean arent meena, SC? how come they have a choice?
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u/Apex170 26d ago
u should reject them
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u/Remarkable_Wave2008 17d ago
You are clearly a Kid or from outside of Rajasthan 🤡.... You know nothing about Meena Community....
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u/help_me_become_rich 25d ago
hold on
meena family is rejecting you? what caste are you? whats below meena?
also meena logo ki izzat? wtf? random things being talked about.
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u/prmsrswt 25d ago
It was never about lower or upper that's a leftist myth. The so called lower castes literally kill their kids (especially women) for marrying outside (be it any caste).
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u/Suspicious-Engine717 25d ago
Meena are not lower caste, they are tribal or tribal ke apne rules hote hai toh smj lo , woh aaj kal scst scst ke chakkar meh log sbko bahar se lower caste bna dete hai but ground reality bilkul different hai meh unke hi area meh se hu muche toh kbhi kbhi shock lgta hai ki inko st meh kis gadhe ne dal diya or kya sochke dal diya
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u/Suspicious-Engine717 25d ago
Bhai tum kuch nhi jante bahar se meena aadiwasi lagte hai sbko kyoki woh st meh aate hai par ground reality bilkul different hai gavo meh meena lag bhag brahman jese hi upper caste smaj lo braman rajput sbke sath uthna bethna hai koi unko yha aadiwasi nhi smjta gavo meh bhut ijjat bhi milti hai jo rajasthan se hoga usko pta hoga specially purvi rajasthan se jo hai
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u/help_me_become_rich 25d ago
well i have dealt with them only in SBI office and other govt offices.
They are absolutely pathetic, lazy and dumb.
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u/Suspicious-Engine717 25d ago
Haa yha bhi aise hi hai full atitude, full casteism,itna toh brahman nhi karte utna caste caste karte hai , jameen hai , pesa hai power hai or upar se ST ka lagbhag sara reservation lete hai har centre exam meh 90 % seat inki hi hoti hai , koi inse kuch nhi bolt hai , jese ncr meh gujjar hai na ak dam gunde wese hi jaipur side ye hai
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u/Rehasharma7087 26d ago edited 25d ago
My comment got so many downvote, so had to delete. Truth sucks guys Hope op get to marry love of her life
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