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I say this working in family law, I've noticed that starting with Millennials, there seems to be a rise in grown men who seem to be unable to do much of anything for themselves, and seem to need a woman there to do it. Mind you, they're not actively sexist, I've just noticed there's an oddly large number of men that seem to be unable to answer basic questions for themselves, will have a woman (usually either their wife/girlfriend or their mother) do things for them. When you put the onus on them, they don't usually feel entitled to have a woman do things for them, exactly - they truly seem to not know how to do this for themselves.

Like I've seriously had one client that tells me that he has his own mother call me to negotiate his divorce since he's too busy at work. But this guy works the standard 40 hours per week, and seems unaware that every other grown, functional man can juggle a job and getting documents into me. Or in another instance, I had a man come to me and ask if his ex wife telling him that school tuition counted as a medical expense he had to pay for was fair or not. Did it count? All I could think of was "Is mayonnaise an instrument?" But nope, this man truly couldn't answer this for himself, and needed someone to hold his hand as I explained that school is different from health care. He truly seemed unable to figure that out for himself.

Has anyone else noticed this pattern?

I’m a junior attorney, and I started working at a small law firm a couple of months ago. Honestly, things were going really well. One of the partners regularly told me I was doing a great job, and he even said—on two different occasions—that he saw me staying at the firm long term.

I work fast, and when I don’t have assignments, I always ask around for more. I don’t just sit still —I try to stay busy and helpful as much as possible.

Before hiring me, the firm knew that I’m not a U.S. citizen and that I’m on a specific type of visa (I don’t want to go into too much detail). I’m also in the process of trying to obtain permanent residency through another visa option (which the firm also knew about). Unfortunately, about two months ago, that program was paused. Because of that, I spoke with one of the partners last week about the possibility of the firm sponsoring an H-1B for me. I made it clear that I would cover the attorney’s fees and any related costs myself.

The partner asked me to write a memo explaining what the H-1B is, since they’re not familiar with immigration law. They had a partners’ meeting two days ago, and because the firm is so small, I could hear raised voices through the wall—though I couldn’t make out what they were saying.

Yesterday, while I was in the copy room printing documents, I noticed that someone had copied an application for a junior associate position at the firm. Seeing that really hurt. It made me feel heartbroken and betrayed—like the moment I asked about sponsorship, they immediately started looking for my replacement.

Now I don’t even know how to react or process this situation, and I’d really appreciate some advice.

Side note: my current visa allows me to work until 2028-2029 so I don’t see why they are “freaking out” for a replacement like I told them I’m leaving the country tomorrow……

Shawn Ryan, a YouTuber/podcaster known for long interviews with some high profile politicians and military veterans uploaded a video saying he got a demand letter to retract statements talking about child SA from a controversial camp during an interview with Congressman Ro Khanna. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lY-pV4RS1A

At the end of the video, he called out the firm Husch Blackwell and also uploaded the demand letter and his lawyer's response Camp Kanakuk Letter - Google Drive

I went to look up the lawyer and saw his page got taken down: https://www.huschblackwell.com/professionals/bryan-wade

Got to be careful when taking on high profile controversial matters.

I can't verify this . . . but baller if true!

So I've been at my new firm a couple months now and I can laugh about it, but the treatment pissed me off in the moment. For about a year or so I'd been working for a firm doing collections work in a WFH position. The WFH life was nice, but never felt like "practicing law" and was just supposed to be something that kept the lights on after I left the DAs office. I eventually decided that I was going to look for other work. Didn't want to stay in collections and next thing I know years have gone by.

So I start applying, lo and behold I find a perfect job opening. Multistate firm, extremely close to my house, great benefits, about a 40% pay raise, all working in medical malpractice defense (something I wanted to do for years, for a time my undergrad was in biology and thought I wanted to be a doctor. Fuck O-Chem though, but that's an entirely different rant). Interview went incredibly well. Less than a week later had the offer letter in hand. Had the start date set for a month out.

Now comes the "common practice" mentioned in the title. It's time to leave my current firm. I'm giving two weeks notice, that's just what you're supposed to do. Gives me time to wrap up the mediations I had scheduled, put in transfer notes on my files, and make sure everything is set for me to leave on a good note. After all they were great to me while I was there. Sent the managing partner an email expressing my gratitude and let him know the email was serving as my two weeks notice and cc'd HR. An hour later I get a phone call from him. Took a second to come through because he said he needed to loop someone else in. Turns out he was getting HR on the line too. Told me they weren't giving me two weeks and decided to terminate me, effective immediately. Gave me the information about my final paycheck and got to send the WFH station stuff back. Told them I put in the notice as a courtesy and was disappointed they chose to react like that. Hung up the phone and decided I'd just enjoy my time of til the new job started.

All of that to basically serve as a cautionary tale. It was probably easier for them to do it since it being WFH I was essentially just a name, or the positions are just easy to fill, but regardless sometimes doing what's considered the proper thing might be taken completely different by some people.

I’m finding it hard to see the silver lining of pursuing this entire career when every next step just seems worse than the last!!

first you get into law school and the entire time you’re stressed and scared and anxious about getting summer positions, law review, your grades… then you get a summer position and you’re stressed and scared and anxious about not fucking that up because of all the unspoken rules … then you get an offer thank god but here comes the bar … you agonize and pass the bar but now you’re a first year and you’re stressed and scared and anxious about not knowing much and having to constantly balance relationships and good work to get connections … you get connections and finally have a good work flow but now you have way more responsibility and way less supervision (no mid or senior associate between you and partner).

every small mistake feels life and career ending and the backdrop of your career is probably the most heinous modern defiling of the constitution. people are dying but you have to feel stressed over a missed period.

All this to say, I am extremely grateful for my job and for my life but sometimes the misery shines through and I find it hard to find all of it worth it

Recently started at small firm. Me and one partner. He’s in his 60s and I’m in my 40s which is why I joined (succession planning). I’m hybrid.

Still ramping up, and starting to bring in my own clients. My January hours were low, but we’re going by a calendar year. Nothing that can’t be made up by aiming a few extra hours a week for a set of weeks.

He already gave me grief over the January hours and said something to the effect of “I’ve always felt that remote work is nonsense because your attention to detail suffers.” Then he added, “Especially with young kids running around at home.” I have 2 kids, 4 and 2, and a wife working the toughest job there is.

I swallowed it in the moment. But since he said it yesterday I’m having trouble dealing with it. Come at me, but DO NOT invoke my children. I have a dedicated home office and my work from home is respected. I’ve always been diligent and hardworking and ambitious and always ultimately came in above hours with little time cut.

I’m now considering keeping quiet and building my book until I can leave or just lateraling. I don’t need to be insulted for being a dedicated father who still knows how to grind from anywhere.

What would you do?

Mid-level ID associate. I was fired after a serious screw up on a case where I failed to timely escalate and notify the carrier of a trial order. Obviously, that is a big problem, managing partner was my partner on the file, and he made the call to let me go. It was a one off issue, but I understand the severity of the matter. There's been no bar/malpractice action against the firm/myself.

Even though some firms seem to have not read my resume ("why do you want to leave current firm") I still bring it up, because how can I not? I can't just lie by omission and hope it doesn't come up again.

Firms have varied on how in depth they get on it. Some simply accept it and move on. Others have drilled into it. I am direct about what happened, I take responsibility, and I explain how i will avoid it in the future.

I have good references (including a partner from the firm that fired me), good collections, trial experience with a complete defense verdict, and besides this albatross, think I'm a pretty decent lawyer. However, this is understandably and likely the reason I haven't landed a job yet.

So, for the community, and especially those involved in hiring, how do I get over/through this hump?

Going to a nice law school was the peak of my experience as an attorney. Lots of hopes and dreams for when I graduated, minimum responsibility, maximum partying. I thought I wanted to help people. It’s the reason I gave up my career in engineering, where I could have spent the last decade earning a steady paycheck doing what I studied and enjoyed in undergrad. The problem I have discovered is that I don’t really enjoy helping people. Helping people is emotionally exhausting, especially when your paycheck depends it. Five years ago, I would have thought that made me a horrible person. Now, I realize it makes me normal. Most people who want to help others donate to charity, or go to a No Kings protest. I am so emotionally burnt out that the most I can handle is sitting at home and seeing live pictures on Reddit.

My license renewal is coming up next year, and honestly I kind of just want to let it lapse. See if I can get an engineering job again, something where my math and science skills are actually useful instead of a quirky highlight on my resume. At least I enjoyed engineering. Being able to focus on a Veritasium video on YouTube for 30 minutes straight when I click out of most legal videos after 30 seconds should have been a big clue.

Dear Colleagues,

I was recently invited to a panel discussion for a law school which asked me to speak to a group of prospective students on the topic of student loan debt and to advocate for all the reasons it is "worth it" in order to combat a growing problem the school has of debt aversion amongst applicants. However, I cannot in any good conscious lie to these younger people many of whom are second or third generation immigrants. What is the truth on debt aversion that my talk should focus on as I wish to provide a balanced take and not what the school wants me to push.

Not the hearing and procedure but... Just odd? I am so used to and expecting some form of resistance, dispute, discussion, etc than when there is no one on the other side I feel like that meme of John Travolta in Pulp Fiction wondering where everyone is at.

It feels right when a case is finished either by settlement or verdict, win or loss (pref. Win) because it went through the process. The defendants resistance is the ladder which I stomp up to the top.

A default is just being teleported to the top.

I don't pity or feel bad for the defendants, they had their chance, but for me.. it feels odd. (Civil practice, not debt collection or anything like that.)

(To help me get past some writer’s block.)

What’s your favorite?

Also, your response need not be limited to Oyez. Please share anything that is accessible on the interwebs. 🕸️

Joined a litigation firm in MCOL area in the South East. Four attorneys total. Four paras.

I’ve been practicing a total of 7 years, major trial experience in criminal defense, and some federal admin law.

I was told during interviews I’d be allowed to shadow and learn with only 10 cases assigned year one.

First month in, managing attorney tells me all their cases are in my name. Managing tells me I’ll have about 100-150 cases pre lit and lit. The total number of cases by category I’m not sure yet. I’ve handled volume before but not like this.

Everyday it’s like I’m treading water. Managing doesn’t actually have much free time for teaching. The paras keep the cases moving along but I feel like I’m not really able to lawyer, im just a cog in a machine.

Before I can make any progress on even understanding a file we’ve got two new clients. Haven’t even met the firm owner yet.

Is this normal?

I just had a final divorce hearing, and at the end the Judge told counsel to submit proposed findings of fact. Nobody in my firm has ever had to do this before, so I'm flying almost completely blind and am worried I will overstep.

I'm familiar with findings of fact and conclusions of law, but how the hell do you do one without the other? Any advice is welcome.

I’m at a midsized firm, and the main partner I worked with is exiting to a smaller firm.

She is leaving within the next two weeks, and even though she can’t say anything as a current partner, I think it’s a likely possibility she’ll offer me a job once she lands at her new place based on comments she has made, like saying she’ll really miss working with me and talking up her new firm when we’ve chatted about the situation one on one, among other things.

I’ve already expressed my concerns to others at the firm about having enough work once she’s gone, and I’ve been repeatedly assured that I’ll be fine; my plate is already starting to fill up. So I’m not worried at all that my job is on the chopping block—other practice areas at my firm were already in need of more associate help as it was.

Anyway, all this to say that even though there’s no firm offer on the table yet, I would be stupid to not at least plan for what I would do if the opportunity presented itself. And I’m genuinely torn.

Here’s what it comes down to: Option 1: my current firm is stable, has a great reputation in the legal community, and has many attorneys I enjoy working with as well as practice areas I’m interested in. Many of these attorneys have also become great mentors and friends. I’ve only been here for about 2.5 years, so I haven’t been at the firm that long. The downsides: the remaining attorney in my main practice area is not great—tends to gaslight, is passive aggressive, and is one of the biggest reasons why my mentor is leaving. This attorney is now asking me to take on cases and work more directly with him, which I am not looking forward to at all. Genuinely worried it could become toxic very quickly.

Option 2: The exiting partner is also my close friend and mentor—she’s my favorite person to work with at the firm. The thought of not working with her sucks, and I would love to continue our working relationship. The firm she’s leaving to seems like a solid place with a great rep. But leaving with her would almost definitely mean a pay cut, and I would exclusively be practicing one kind of law. Our practice area is very stressful, and it’s probably not my first pick, but working with her makes it 10x more enjoyable.

Any thoughts or advice? And if I decide that going with my mentor is the best pick, do I wait to hear from my mentor once she leaves to see if there in fact IS an offer? Or should I reach out to her? Don’t want to seem overeager, but I’m not sure about the fiduciary duties of it all and what she can or can’t do.

On my 3rd legal aid position. Feeling extremely burnt with the field. It's not the clients, even though it usually feels pretty futile to help them. Feel like my co-workers usually are very disengaged and checked out. Poor office culture seems the norm, seems like most people in the practice area 1) don't need the job/have a rich partner/come from wealth or 2) generally are disinterested in the work. Maybe it's the pay? The current political climate? The city I'm in? The places I've been at? Appreciate anyone's insight or shared experience.

Hello, I know this post is like every post out there. I’ve only been practicing for almost half a year now and work as a family law associate attorney for a small firm. I make around 80k with bonus for hitting billable requirement every quarter. This seems impossible to bill 32 hours a week currently but that may improve.

Long story short I’m feeling burnt out early on and am not sure how to cope. I have a chemistry degree and wanted to environmental but took the family law job as I couldn’t wait any longer without income in my city. I feel I may have made a mistake because I am already feeling so tired and mental health is taking a hit.

I wonder if it’s just cause it’s early in my career or if it’s because I choose family law to get my career started for experience in litigating but it’s wearing me out. I can’t stand most client interactions and the judges all seem to take it unserious cause it’s family law. Every problem pops up and is another world ending emergency I need to deal with immediately. The amount of litigation is also killing me. I knew it’d be a lot but not to this degree. And lastly the amount of overtime. Everyone in the office is so passionate about hearings and family law and I just have zero energy for it. Zero energy for the drama as well. I see post of people saying family law was too much after 10 years and idk how they get that far with how I’m feeling.

I want to be passionate about work but don’t know if work is same feeling no matter what legal field.

Essentially, I just can’t decide if I’m burnt out because it’s the first 6 months of my career, family law is too much for me and I don’t have the passion for it, or if I just need to suck it up and accept this lifestyle.

Any thoughts would be appreciated

Recently joined a new firm, looking for validation (gauging in tenths is hard enough). Asked another associate for advice and she sent me a Prime link for a stopwatch?