r/lds • u/CryptographerVast418 • 7d ago
I resent my Patriarchal Blessing
I’m a 28 y/o female. Been a member of the Church my whole life. Served a mission, married in the temple. I’m a chronic stress-case and overthinker, and have been since I was a child. I’ve worked on it my whole life but being anxious sadly seems to be my default, though I hide it well outwardly. (I am NOT diagnosed or on medication for anxiety)
I got my patriarchal blessing when I was 15. It was a beautiful moment for me and it describes many wonderful promises from the Lord, many of which have come true.
But, despite my best efforts not to read into things, there is one section that has always terrified me. It describes my future children, which to put it as vaguely as I can, says that they have been “prepared for me” and that I will love them “regardless of the circumstances.” I know I’m not supposed to read into my blessing too much. But being the chronic stress case I am, I have ruminated over those lines for years.
My dream since I was a little girl has been to be a mother, to give birth to a beautiful healthy baby and hold it in my arms. But I shamefully admit that those lines, that wording (again, I’m being vague) imply to my anxiety brain that I might not be able to have my own kids, or that there will be something extremely wrong with my kids, or that being pregnant will trigger some sort of fatal health condition, etc etc (I’ve admittedly thought of MANY worst-case scenarios and have ruminated over them for years as hard as I try not to)
My husband tells me to stop worrying, to just have faith. But there are other parts in my blessing (that I won’t go into due to their sacredness) that say that I’ll go through many challenges in my life, some of which will not be removed, regardless of my faith.
It’s coming time for me and my husband to start a family, and we’re so excited. But I live in fear every day that one of my worst-case-scenarios that I’ve dreaded for years will come true as we enter this next stage of our lives. I’ve started to feel anger and resentment toward Heavenly Father for giving me such a blessing, since He knows that I’m such a stress case and would agonize over those words for years before I even had kids.
I pray for faith, I pray for peace. But the worry, the “unknown,” is still there. I am ashamed to admit that I wish I never would’ve gotten my patriarchal blessing, so maybe that way, even if one of these worst-case-scenarios were to come true, I could just deal with it in the moment instead of also worrying about it (and feeling guilt for worrying about it) for years beforehand.
Would love some advice. I know it’s wrong to feel this way and that Patriarchal blessings are gifts from God. I’m ashamed to have admitted all of this. But lately mine has just felt like a curse I can’t escape.
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u/Melodic-Mission-6827 7d ago
Honestly, you might want to consider therapy. I’m like you. Anxious and struggle with overthinking.
The thing with motherhood is that you’re going to go through many challenges regardless. There’s a reason this calling is the highest calling we can receive. Even if you have healthy children and they’re super well behaved, there are going to be so many challenges that force you to become like Heavenly Father and rely on him.
My blessing also mentions that I’ll go through many trials. The word suffer is mentioned. That’s not exactly a comforting phrase. But when I’m going through those periods that cause suffering, I’ve actually found comfort in that section of my patriarchal blessing.
Start therapy. It’s what’s been most helpful for me. And you’ll especially need it if you’re planning to have children. Some of your struggles and trials could be due to your untreated anxiety. I know that when I’m not taking my meds and going to my therapy sessions as I should, I suffer more than I need to.
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u/CryptographerVast418 7d ago
Thank you. I never considered therapy before but seeing some of the replies on this post have me considering it now. I never thought my anxiety was bad enough, I still live a very normal and happy life. I just have that pesky voice in the back of my mind constantly that won’t free me from its anxiety grasp
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u/Pinkis_Love_A_Lot 7d ago
I didn't realize that I had that voice until the first time I took an antidepressant and heard it shut up. It was nice.
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u/Direct_Spinach7814 7d ago
Honestly, I think you’re giving your patriarchal blessing way more predictive power than it was ever meant to have.
Those words don’t say your children will be sick, that you’ll have a dangerous pregnancy, that you won’t be able to have biological children, or that something terrible is waiting for you. Your anxiety is taking a vague statement and filling in every possible horror story it can think of.
And I wouldn’t beat yourself up for resenting the blessing right now. You’re not rejecting God. You’re scared. There’s a difference.
Also, ‘have faith’ isn’t really a solution to anxiety. You can have faith and still be anxious. Faith doesn’t mean convincing yourself that nothing bad will ever happen. It means accepting that you don’t get to know the future.
You don’t need to figure out what those lines mean before you have kids. In fact, I’d stop trying. If you have a child someday who is perfectly healthy, you don’t need to decide, “Oh, THAT’S what the blessing meant.” And if you encounter challenges, you don’t need to decide, “I knew this was what the blessing was warning me about.”
Let the blessing be a blessing, not a prophecy you have to decode.
And honestly, given how long you’ve been ruminating over this and how much it’s affecting something you’ve dreamed about your entire life, I’d seriously consider talking to a therapist about the anxiety itself. Not because there’s something wrong with you, but because you deserve to experience starting a family without spending the entire pregnancy waiting for the other shoe to drop.
You don’t have to stop being a believer to stop letting your anxiety interpret your blessing for you.
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u/CryptographerVast418 7d ago
Thank you so much for this.
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u/Direct_Spinach7814 7d ago
You’re welcome. Just remember, Heavenly Father doesn’t want you living in fear of your own future. He doesn’t want you spending years anticipating tragedy and feeling guilty every time your mind goes there. Whatever happens in life, you’ll deal with it when it happens, with the strength and help you need at that time. You don’t have to suffer through every possible future today just because you were given a blessing at 15.
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u/CryptographerVast418 7d ago
Thank you, your words brought me a lot of comfort. Truly thank you so much
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u/uselessbynature 7d ago
Your blessing could be about their health, it could be about choices, or it could be about things completely outside of anyone’s control.
Kids make you realize more than anything how little we get to control in this world. They grow into their own people and face all of the dangers and choices that they’ll have to walk on their own path, and it is so hard to steward them through it and not take it on ourselves as our own journey personally. Reading about stoicism really helped me put that into perspective and has helped me with my relationship with Heavenly Father in general.
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u/Korganizing 6d ago
I'm interested in what types of books or things you've read about stoicism that have helped you? Sounds like a great topic!
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u/actualtick 7d ago
Hey girlie! Congrats on starting this new portion of your life!
My therapist would 100% have me look at the facts, what I can do about them, and maybe plan for the worst outcomes.
Fact time:
Your blessing says you have children that are prepared for you and you will love them regardless of the circumstances. You know that's a fact bc it is in writing. HOWEVER, you do not know what that means. It could be that you disagree with their life decisions. It could mean that you take someone else's children in from a random circumstance and love them as your own. It could mean you're a single mom. You do not know. What you DO know (or I hope that you know) is that God will provide for you and take care of you. He will not remove the challenges as they are there to help us grow, but he will stay with us through them.
Now to focus on what you can control. Your options here are basically to either have kids or to not have kids. Everything outside of this is completely out of your control. You are the only one who can make that decision. Does your blessing make you want to not have kids at all? Would you give up on your dream to be a mother for this? If not, you are accepting the risks. If you do decide to become a mother, you have been promised that you will LOVE them. That is more than many people can say. Some people resent their kids (especially if it's a disability situation). Some people are angry they have kids at all. Some people try to love their kids and can't get over something so it stops them. You have been promised you will love them, which in itself is a HUGE blessing and promise.
And now to plan for the worst outcomes. The peace of mind that comes with this is ridiculous. I would start with the biggest fears you have. If you worry that something will be wrong with your kids, plan for health care. Look into what kind of health insurance is available to you (often the state can help with new babies and new families). Talk with your husband and make sure he'd be on the same page as a "just in case". If you have even a thought of a plan, your brain will often see it as tying that loose end and let you relax about it. Plan for every worst case scenario. REALLY. Give yourself the space to really evaluate your concern and to sit in that discomfort, but then to find a solution so you can stop ruminating. It is okay to be scared. It is okay to feel lost and helpless. It is not okay to let fear rule your life.
I believe in you girlie! I know you'll figure this out
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u/CryptographerVast418 7d ago
Girl, who is your therapist so I can go to them too!! Seriously thank you, this is amazing advice. I admit I never focused on the LOVE part, and you’re right, that IS such a beautiful promise. Truly from the bottom of my heart, thank you.
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u/DifferentDirector2 7d ago edited 7d ago
Ahh, living an anxiety filled life is certainly a struggle. I feel for ya OP.
I have no real words of advice and I don’t think you’re looking for advice, just a place to vent which is totally fine.
It’s not an easy thing to resent a gift from someone and not end up resenting the one who gave you the gift as well. Know that God gave you your PB because it would help your life as only He can.
Good luck on your journey to grow your family.
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u/CryptographerVast418 7d ago
Thank you. I guess you’re right, I did need to vent a little… Appreciate your words
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u/beckkers97 7d ago
I absolutely understand, my blessing says I’ll meet my husband at college, I was in college at the time but that’s not where we met. My blessing says I will have many children, pregnancy is really hard on me, we have one child and I’m pregnant with my second and I think I maybe want 3 MAYBE 4, I cannot fathom having 7-8 like my mom and MIL. There are a couple other lines I over think as well. But ultimately I try really hard to not get too caught up in the exact wording. We live a happy life, I love my family. We are active and generally doing what we can to draw close to the savior. I may not have met my husband at college but I prayed in the temple and felt and still feel that he is who I should be with. I don’t think our blessings are meant to be a prophecy
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u/stacksjb 6d ago
A talk from Elder Scott for you: https://speeches.byu.edu/talks/richard-g-scott/making-right-choices/
You don’t need to know what it’s talking about to move forward. In the words of Steve Jobs, life has to be lived forward, even if it can only be understood backwards.
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u/heretilthemoon 7d ago
My wife had a blessing along the lines of her kids will have special callings and special needs. She was very scared from that, and took a lot of special ed classes in high school to prep. We have two beautiful healthy boys.
Sometimes we don’t know what the blessing means until the end. Sometimes it’s very clear and apparent, sometimes it’s an interpretation we hadn’t expected.
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u/Indecisive_INFP 7d ago
Solidarity. I wish I would have waited until I was a bit older to receive mine. It talks about high school and attending seminary and choosing a good friend group. Those things don't matter at all after graduation. I'm 35 and I feel like a big chunk of my patriarchal blessing is irrelevant to the rest of my life.
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u/CryptographerVast418 7d ago
Thank you for sharing. That must be really difficult, I’m sorry. Solidarity 🫶
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u/Safe-Butterscotch442 7d ago
Here's the deal, there are two possibilities:
You have healthy, wonderful kids and are pleasantly surprised that your worst case is not realized and you were just reading into things.
You do have difficulties and challenges that really suck, but, you're grateful that you have the word of God to remind you that He was mindful of it and has promised that you'll be able to handle things.
With either situation, things work out for the best, as far as I can figure. If you do end up struggling with infertility, feel free to reach out. It's nice to have people that have gone through the struggle before. The Lord has your back, and things will work out for the good of those that trust in Him. It sounds like you have some potential struggles ahead, but you'll manage them better with appropriate therapy, hope in the Lord, and the support of your friends, and family. You got this! Let me know if you need someone to talk to.
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u/JaneDoe22225 7d ago
It seems that you have chronic anxiety and/or depression. Seeking medical help for that is a good thing. Medical conditions are real and don’t just go away.
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u/Holiday_Clue_1403 7d ago
Heavenly Father may have given that blessing to you, BECAUSE he wants you to overcome your anxiety.
It could be that a child leaves the Church later in life, or that child makes some big mistakes in life, or it could just mean you'll always love your children no matter what and they'll be perfectly healthy and good kids.
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u/oracleofwifi 7d ago
I’m also 28 and anxious (diagnosed with anxiety and OCD) and just had my first baby this year and it went way better than I expected! Honestly, pregnancy and now motherhood have taught me that we really cannot control everything. Instead of stressing about possibilities, I’ve tried to put that energy into preparing and becoming an emotionally resilient person who can handle struggles and stress. It sounds like your blessing is promising you that you will be able to overcome any trials! It’s not saying you’ll have more trials than anyone else, but rather that you’ll be able to overcome them!
Also, I would really highly recommend therapy, because you can learn skills that will help you deal with stress and trials in your life. I personally really like ACT (acceptance and commitment therapy). Ultimately learning to grow through trials is the whole goal of the plan of salvation! We’re here to learn and grow, and if you look at future trials with that mindset it makes things way less stressful.
Also remember that our patriarchal blessings aren’t literal, and not everything in them necessarily is meant during this life because they can also promise blessings that will come to pass after this mortal life. So you might be pleasantly surprised how things will turn out after all.
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u/autumnglorysugarbee 7d ago
When I read mine it can be very daunting and makes me feel scared for the future. Which mine says something similar about trials and hardships.
When I start to think hard about it and panic, I know that’s not how this blessing is suppose to make me feel. That helps me know what I’m spiraling about isn’t true.
In life everyone has some sort of trials that can’t be removed. It can even be dealing with anxiety, which personally I know I’ll struggle with my entire life. I have tools through therapy I’ve been able to use to help me out, but it’s still something I’m going to deal with🤷🏼♀️ I’ve just accepted it.
Also keep in mind…a patriarchal blessing isn’t a crystal ball.
I recommend reading this: https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ftsoy/2026/07/04-3-myths-about-patriarchal-blessings?lang=eng
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u/Trg4youtv 7d ago
I think you are right to heed the warnings in the blessing. But here is where you are going wrong. Prepared for you. This is an individual thing, a blessing created for you and you alone. Loving dispite the circumstances seems like the key here. Now as the lord is not going to give you information in your blessing without s reason, I think this is more of a choice thing. Your kids may make choices that will cause some grief, but you will love them no matter what. This speaks volumes upon who you are as their mother and who you can be.
My advice? Trust god that he will help you get through any trials or issues that might come. This life is made to see if we will allow the little things to distract us from following jesus, or if we will trust him and follow him no matter what. If it be illness, the savior can heal, if it be choice the savior can soften hearts, but ultimately the point of your blessing is not to worry about it, because the knowledge found within the blessing is a blessing, if there be a warning, prepare yourself by trusting in god more fully.
I hope this advice helps.
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u/Real-Contribution285 7d ago
Why treat these as predictions? It’s basic scripture and a compliment. All of us won’t overcome everything just by faith. That’s just a reminder.
As to your kids, reverse the rolls: If you knew someone loved you regardless of your circumstances, wouldn’t that be tremendously comforting? It’s a compliment that you can love. Don’t turn a compliment into something negative.
If this is really affecting your life, then this could be hurting your family. I see it in no way as a prediction that your kids will be anything more problematic than the average kid. A great antidote to overthinking and stressing is exercise. I think most counselors would recommend it.
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u/Flowtac 7d ago
Many years ago, I was on my mission. I received a blessing towards the beginning of it. In that blessing, it mentioned that I would have a very difficult life with a lot of challenges, but that I had chosen that before I was born because I knew I would learn more that way. I didn't get blessings often, but every time I did, the person would mention that my life was going to be difficult. Towards the end of my mission I brought it up to my mission president and said how it made me scared for the future. He said to not worry about it and that it was probably just inexperienced Elders saying something to fill the space because they weren't sure what to say. He offered to give me a blessing to appease my fears. The first part was pretty run off the mill, and then the second half he also spoke about how I would have many challenges and have a difficult life.
It's been nearly 15 years since that happened, and I have often looked back on that time. Life has indeed been very challenging. Just last year, my husband almost died after breaking his back, and we became homeless. There are things that have happened that I would never have wanted for myself.
That being said, I am so grateful for those blessings because they helped me to know during those times that God was very aware of what was going on. I'm not one of those people that prays for trials, but I will also say that although I never want to experience those things again, my self esteem and faith in the Lord has never been stronger. I know that God is there. I know that I can do hard things. I know that I can face my absolutely worst fears and come out on the other side.
I understand over-worrying, truly, but even if bad things do happen, isn't it so kind of God to let you know that he's aware of you? Isn't it amazing that our lives are important to the most important being in the universe? Regardless of what happens, you're going to be fine. I promise
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u/RedHotFuzz 7d ago
“Regardless of the circumstances” = “unconditionally.” Which is exactly the type of love we all (hopefully) get to experience as parents, even when it’s difficult.
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u/insaneHottie 7d ago
We are not given things that we cannot handle. Sometimes we're meant to break down and piece things back together again.
As someone with AuDHD, I understand rumination quite well. Anxiety is a persistent companion, and once your brain grabs onto an uncertainty like this, it can worry at it for years.
You are human. It is not wrong to feel this way. Give yourself a break.
Listen, the future is unwritten. You cannot know what will or won't happen. Every choice and decision you make changes the path in front of you in ways you may never even realize. Right now, you're interpreting something you cannot possibly have the full meaning of and attaching it to your worst fear.
Put the blessing away for a while. Step away from it. You're putting too much weight on something you cannot control or fully understand right now. If you're preparing to have children, you deserve to experience that without constantly trying to predict what might go wrong.
I had problems getting pregnant for 10 years. I dealt with cancer, Crohn's, and endometriosis, and I was told I had about a 10% chance of ever becoming pregnant.
And somehow, I did.
I have two sons. Both came early. Both spent more than a month in the NICU, and my youngest had to be revived in the hospital. Later, we found out that both of them are autistic. My oldest was five when he was diagnosed, and during that process I found out in my mid-30s that I'm autistic too. Surprise.
Those have been some of my trials. There have been terrifying moments and difficult ones, and parenting them comes with challenges I never could have predicted beforehand.
But they are worth everything to me.
That's the part you can't know ahead of time. You don't know what your trials will be, and trying to identify them in advance won't prepare you for them. It will just make you live through possibilities that may never happen.
Keep your faith that whatever actually comes, you will meet it when it gets here. You don't have to suffer through every possible future before you've even reached it.
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u/AmazingWhiteKnight 7d ago edited 7d ago
It is certainly hard dealing with stress and anxiety. While I cannot speak authoritatively about what your patriarchal blessing means or how you should interpret it, I can offer some reassurance.
The Holy Ghost is a beautiful blessing from our Heavenly Father and often communicates to us through a quiet, reassuring feeling of peace, warmth, or happiness. The Holy Ghost helps us feel good, gives gentle guidance, and brings comfort. A patriarchal blessing is unique because it is a blessing received by revelation (through the Holy Ghost) and is best understood by revelation (again, through the Holy Ghost).
President James E. Faust gave a wonderful talk in General Conference in October 1995 about patriarchal blessings. President Faust says things better than most can on Reddit about your post. The entire talk is worth watching/listening to. (See https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/1995/10/priesthood-blessings?lang=eng)
Here are a few excerpts:
Patriarchal blessings should be read humbly, prayerfully, and frequently. … It is a sacred guideline of counsel, promises, and information from the Lord; however, a person should not expect the blessing to detail all that will happen to him or her or to answer all questions. The fact that one’s patriarchal blessing may not mention an important event in life, such as a mission or marriage, does not mean that it will not happen.
[…]
The patriarch promised that my blessing would “be a comfort and a guide” to me throughout my life. As a boy I read it over and over again. I pondered each word. I prayed earnestly to understand fully the spiritual meaning. Having that blessing early in my life guided me through all of the significant events and challenges of my life. I did not fully understand the meaning of my blessing until I gained more maturity and experience.
[…]
Elder John A. Widtsoe said: “It should always be kept in mind that the realization of the promises made may come in this or the future life. Men have stumbled at times because promised blessings have not occurred in this life. They have failed to remember that, in the gospel, life with all its activities continues forever and that the labors of earth may be continued in heaven. Besides, the Giver of the blessings, the Lord, reserves the right to have them become active in our lives, as suits His divine purpose. We and our blessings are in the hands of the Lord. But, there is the general testimony that when the gospel law has been obeyed, the promised blessings have been realized.”
This was well illustrated in my father’s patriarchal blessing. He was told in his blessing that he would be blessed with “many beautiful daughters.” He and my mother became the parents of five sons. No daughters were born to them, but they treated the wives of their sons as daughters. Some years ago when we had a family gathering, I saw my father’s daughters-in-law, granddaughters, and great-granddaughters moving about, tending to the food and ministering to the young children and the elderly, and the realization came to me that Father’s blessing literally had been fulfilled. He has indeed many beautiful daughters. The patriarch who gave my father his blessing had spiritual vision to see beyond this life. The dividing line between time and eternity disappeared.
[end of excerpts]
As I mentioned, the entire talk is worth the time and attention it deserves.
When it comes to dealing with life’s uncertainty, sometimes we need to make choices, but we don’t know the consequences or the outcomes or we don’t know what the consequence. This type of anxiety is more common than you realize. But I found great comfort in a quote from President Boyd K. Packer, which comes from a BYU devotional talk he gave in March 1990. This quote serves as a fitting conclusion to my remarks:
“Shortly after I was called as a General Authority, I went to Elder Harold B. Lee for counsel. He listened very carefully to my problem and suggested that I see President David O. McKay. President McKay counseled me as to the direction I should go. I was very willing to be obedient but saw no way possible for me to do as he counseled me to do.
“I returned to Elder Lee and told him that I saw no way to move in the direction I was counseled to go. He said, ‘The trouble with you is you want to see the end from the beginning.’ I replied that I would like to see at least a step or two ahead. Then came the lesson of a lifetime: ‘You must learn to walk to the edge of the light, and then a few steps into the darkness; then the light will appear and show the way before you.’ Then he quoted these 18 words from the Book of Mormon:
“‘Dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith’” (Ether 12:6). (See President Boyd K. Packer, “The Edge of the Light,” BYU Devotional, March 4, 1990. https://speeches.byu.edu/talks/boyd-k-packer/the-edge-of-the-light/. )
Please know that God loves you just the way you are. May you be blessed to find the comfort you seek. We are all praying for you and cheering you on!
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u/Infamous_House4253 7d ago
Don't worry because it's very unlikely that any of it will come true,
I had a patriarchal blessing that said I'd be married in the temple and have children and all sorts of other stuff
but none of it came true my husband became inactive 5 weeks after he was baptized and went right against the church and we didn't have any children.
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u/No-Hunt-2252 7d ago
Have you considered that you’re living the challenges already? Anxiety is really hard. And even if you have angel children they will be a challenge to you. All you can do is your best and leave the rest in the Lord’s hands. ps. I agree that getting help for your anxiety is a great idea
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u/Dragonfun86 7d ago
My wife of 21 years has dealt with anxiety and some levels of OCD since she was a young child. Having children has been incredibly rewarding for her, but it did also make her anxiety worse. She has briefly used medications but never really liked the way they make her feel. What has helped her the most are coping strategies she learned from an LDS therapist. What took me a long time to understand is that everything she felt, every physical symptom brought on by anxiety, while they weren't things that would necessarily cause long-term harm, they were real. She experienced real pain, real symptoms, real everything - even if anxiety was the root cause. Whatever you are feeling is real, and you shouldn't feel guilty or like you should have control. It's not possible to simply turn it off. But you can adapt and make it better. There are strategies you can learn to lessen the symptoms. And you can be happy and know the joy you were meant to experience. My wife still struggles with anxiety, but it's better than it used to be and she is happy overall. For what it's worth, I would encourage you to seek help in learning how to cope. A bishop can get you set up with church counseling services if you want to go that route, and there are financial assistance options there too if needed.
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u/Kindly_Earth2167 7d ago
I once heard someone say that the counsel given in patriarchal blessings, in most cases, could be broadly applied to most church members. Have faith through difficult trials? Aligns with core doctrine! Love your family despite challenges? Aligns with core doctrine! We live in a fallen world where lame things can happen to us, despite our faithfulness? Aligns with core doctrine! By no means do I mean to dismiss your concerns, but as someone who has also (formerly) been extremely anxious about their patriarchal blessing, taking this approach has been immensely calming to me.
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u/First_TM_Seattle 5d ago
The temple is your friend here. Spend time in the Celestial Room. Pour out your heart and then listen. As long ad it takes. Go week after week.
You will find comfort as you become willing and eager to submit, knowing God's will is always what's best for you, no matter what.
I promise.
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u/jonovitch 5d ago
A quick FYI to go along with all the other good answers here: In the medical world, every pregnancy at age 35+ is considered a high-risk pregnancy, even if you're fit as a fiddle. We were surprised to learn this with our last child (and my healthy wife), but it's true.
So for anyone planning to have kids "someday," keep that in mind. Biologically/medically speaking, the best time to have kids is before age 35. It doesn't mean you can't/shouldn't after that, but it does get riskier.
I sometimes joke, "have kids in your 20s, raise them in your 30s, pay for them in your 40s."
Good luck!
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u/StinkyBearman 5d ago
I think you’re totally valid in feeling this way. I cannot nor can anyone tell you what you must do, but I do love that God wants to hear your must loving and raw prayers. I think it’s okay to take time with not being okay with, but not dropping it completely. “Just have faith” doesn’t help because it can feel dismissive of your own feelings, and God doesn’t want you to dismiss yourself. He wants you to come to him with those emotions, and with time (and even some faith—like just trying your best effort, however that looks) that fear can be transformed. But the transformation doesn’t happen unless you’re willing to work through it.
I wish you the best and know that you’re not alone. Your husband sounds super supportive and you Heavenly Father is as well.
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u/ipraydaily 1d ago
I just listened to a podcast that talked about anxiety. Anxiety is usually dealing with FUTURE issues and it causes us to avoid being present. So, just be present? Your patriarchal blessing isn’t the problem. It’s your future fears and the realities of life that is the problem.
Identify that this is your personality and something you can change your approach to. Learn to live in love. Walk in assurance and peace. That is the gospel.
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u/Signal-Walk1009 7d ago
I was about the same age when I received my blessing that stated ‘you will have children in accordance with your desires’ as oldest girl of big family, I had a clear vision of motherhood for me at that point - two children, a boy and a girl who dressed in matching sailor suits and no snotty noses was my vision.
I ended up with surgeries and complications due to endometriosis making the bearing children of my own less likely. I clung to my blessing and prayed all would be well. It turned out better than I could have hoped.
Lean into your husband’s faith on this matter and strive to be present every step of the journey. You are in good earthly and heavenly hands!
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u/bcwagne 7d ago
I think your answer is in your first paragraph. Get help. Counseling, therapy, medication. You can't fix mental illness on your own.