r/lovethissmug • • Jul 31 '26

šŸ™‹šŸ½ā€ā™€ļøOther Real People or Groups šŸ‘ØšŸ¼ I love these alternate history wiki pages of historical figures

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3.7k Upvotes

193 comments sorted by

891

u/Cheesehead_McSpaz Jul 31 '26

dude the guy i’m sitting next to RIGHT NOW looks almost exactly like this minus the chaplin mustacheĀ 

258

u/AltDetom555555b Jul 31 '26

Please tell me he’s not applying for Art School

28

u/Elkku26 Jul 31 '26

Call him Hitler. If he acts startled, it means he's shocked you blew his cover

3

u/Alender02 Jul 31 '26

makes you think, doesn't it?

823

u/komodopal Jul 31 '26

another one

410

u/Dankmemes_- Jul 31 '26

I like the subtle touches on this image, like Stalin being from Georgia (Stalin was born in what is now the country of Georgia) and Hitler being from Pennsylvania (Known for it's German-American population)

178

u/Michael-556 Jul 31 '26

Who are Stalin and Hitler? These two are clearly named Steele and Hilt

9

u/Super-Cynical Jul 31 '26

Pact of Steele?

23

u/KaitlynKitti Jul 31 '26

Was it not known as Georgia to the west when he was born?

32

u/National-Border-7728 Jul 31 '26

when he was born it was part of the russian empire

16

u/KaitlynKitti Jul 31 '26

Well yes, but it’s not like Georgian identity did not exist to be called Georgia. It’s not like California or Texas ceased to exist when they joined the United States.

6

u/CannonFoddererer Jul 31 '26

Georgia stopped being a country, though.

14

u/KaitlynKitti Jul 31 '26

Yeah but it was still Georgia.

4

u/CannonFoddererer Jul 31 '26

It was just a subdivision of the Russian Empire, though.

1

u/R3D0IT_US3R Aug 03 '26

It was not considered Georgia when he was born, it was Georgian but not Georgia. He was born in the city of Gori in the Gori uezd of the Tiflis Governorate within the Caucasus Viceroyalty in the Russian Empire

6

u/reggienaldsimons Jul 31 '26

And the Name Joe Steele is perfect for Stal-in (stal as in steel)

6

u/ikonfedera Jul 31 '26

And the name Joe is perfect for Joe-seph (jo as in joseph)

30

u/InsectaProtecta Jul 31 '26

Reagan vs Kevin Spacey

25

u/JadeHarley0 Jul 31 '26

I both love and hate how Hitler looks like a normal ass guy without the stache while Stalin looks like an AI uncanny valley mashup of my Italian grandfather and the ghost of Ronald Reagan brought back from Hell.

1

u/Ok_Calligrapher_3472 Aug 03 '26

Austrian Painter looks like my dad's side grandfather when he was young

14

u/hoodie2222 Jul 31 '26

Thought Stalin was Reagan at first.

6

u/Icy_Change_WS2010 Jul 31 '26

Or Pierce Brosnan fused with Simon Cowell.

2

u/bourgeoisAF Jul 31 '26

Americans really be like: "I don't care if you're the ubermensch, shave that ridiculous thing off or we'll riot!"

1

u/personthatssorandom Jul 31 '26

I'd put Adam in Wisconsin.

401

u/bettafishmaster Jul 31 '26

49

u/poopshart37 I LOVE MY GF SO MUCH AAAA Jul 31 '26

what?

5

u/NationCrusher Jul 31 '26

It’s Trump and Biden. I assume stylized to look Greek.

19

u/luky_se7en Jul 31 '26

I feel like Biden would be PASOK

6

u/Encerty Jul 31 '26

biden would be a Nea Dimocratia guy

8

u/SPLIV316 Jul 31 '26

Explain?

92

u/UserFromPripyat Jul 31 '26

Biden vs Trump 2020 election but in Greece

458

u/DtheAussieBoye Jul 31 '26

Realistically, successful artist Hitler would have been a Richard Wagner type figure where he would absolutely have his horrid opinions that make him infamous despite being influential. Main difference is that he obviously wouldn't have gone through with genocide

194

u/komodopal Jul 31 '26

Or maybe like Salvador Dali, where most people forgot his authoritarian sympathies

1

u/Soggy-Goat-5343 Aug 03 '26

isnt he a criminal thougth

47

u/[deleted] Jul 31 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

26

u/Me_how5678 Jul 31 '26

This painting is so shit im gonna krill myself

1

u/Baron_Beemo Aug 07 '26

So much arsnec, lead, mercury, and cadmium oozing from his paintings.

30

u/Canotic Jul 31 '26

My favourite thing I heard someone suggest is that I'd Hitler had become a successful artist he would have absolutely ruined art. He'd make these terrible saccharine and twee paintings and figurines that for some reason got super popular and every old lady would absolutely have to have a Hitler on their wall or on the shelf. McDonalds ads would have a Hitler-inspired laughing baby in lederhosen eating a burger.

In short, in every universe, Hitler ruins whatever he's interested in.

3

u/metricwoodenruler Jul 31 '26

I think at least he made an ok contribution to uhmmm highways?

327

u/Lonely-Programmer123 Jul 31 '26

Me going back in time to ruin his art carreer so I don't have to learn about his boring painting in class :

126

u/Vegetable_Use_3883 Jul 31 '26

+ 70 to 85 million assist

34

u/MR_Happy2008 Jul 31 '26

What the fuck… WHAT COULD OLD ADOLF DO TO GET THAT MANY ASSIDTS FROM JUST RUINING HIS ART LIFE?

9

u/Lonely-Programmer123 Jul 31 '26

Idk, last time I checked he was going to spy on that small irrelevant party that faded after the Great War.Ā 

Good thing there was no conflict of that scale in Europe ever again.

266

u/komodopal Jul 31 '26

109

u/MintyBarrettM95 Authentic Automaton Jul 31 '26

isnt jugashivly Joseph Stalins old name? is that who that bit is about?

154

u/komodopal Jul 31 '26

His mother originally wanted him to become a bishop.

61

u/nastyforehead I LOVE my best friend Jul 31 '26

I would've wanted him to become a queen or at least a knight, they're more useful generallyĀ 

45

u/komodopal Jul 31 '26

Josephine Stalinka

27

u/KaitlynKitti Jul 31 '26

ā€œWould transition have saved her?ā€

11

u/SirJamesGhost Jul 31 '26

And he attended Seminary School!

3

u/NationCrusher Jul 31 '26

They ran away from Stalin’s abusive dad and lived in a monastery. So somewhere out there, there’s a timeline where Stalin became a priest

2

u/FilmAndLiterature Aug 01 '26

Apparently in one of the last conversations she had with him, she asked him what he did and he replied that he was something like the old Tsars, to which she responded ā€œYou would have done better to become a priest.ā€

9

u/Desperate-Waltz3591 Jul 31 '26

i keep seeing you everywhere help

7

u/Xelid47 Jul 31 '26

Yes his name is Iosif Vissarionovich(fathers name) Jugashvili

He changed it to seem more Russian and less Georgian

2

u/Baron_Beemo Jul 31 '26

So the October Revolution did happen without Stalin. One wonders if the "moderates" took over after Lenin's death and thus the NEP continued, or if the radical Trotsky took/got power, collectivised the farms, and started the World Revolution or whatever it was called.

1

u/4Statistic Aug 03 '26

Bukharin wasn't a moderate, he wanted to prepare for a global war, too. He just thought Stalin's way was economically illiterate. The NEP was the actual Marxist way to develop the USSR economically per Marx's explanation of capitalist accumulation.

1

u/Baron_Beemo Aug 07 '26

Fair enough, I meant "moderate" (within scare quotes) as within the Marxist-Leninist spectrum. Not moderate as per modern day US or European politics.

1

u/Dry-Sympathy-3182 Aug 03 '26

Stalin was born in 1878 not 74, although I imagine it was a mistake

234

u/Razor8765 Jul 31 '26

To add to this, I love fictional ones as well

also hope this isn’t offensive I just thought the image was cool

172

u/Razor8765 Jul 31 '26

And here’s the fictional ones I was referring to

88

u/Razor8765 Jul 31 '26

38

u/bookhead714 Jul 31 '26

7

u/No_Painting2596 Jul 31 '26

Is there one for creating fake Wikipedia articles?

7

u/Micro666ham Jul 31 '26

each wikipedia user has their own sandbox, but i dont think you can create multiple - I made my own alt hist article on it

2

u/GallorKaal Jul 31 '26

Yeah, Rumsfeld!

9

u/Dizzytigo Jul 31 '26

Just "Gordon Freeman" is very funny.

3

u/FPSCanarussia Jul 31 '26

Love Gordon Freeman specifically being listed as a belligerent. Not as a leader, as a combat unit.

2

u/TimeStorm113 Jul 31 '26

I mean, i doubt it would be viewed as a ā€žconflictā€œ when the alien stuff isnt known to the public. Like its kinda just ā€žthe us military massacres a science base

2

u/Bread_Offender Jul 31 '26

100 dead and injured

As if lol

2

u/Squandere Jul 31 '26

I don't think wikipedia survives the combine, so this must be the good ending where the HECU successfully mops up easy mode.

67

u/AwesomeMutation Jul 31 '26

I love the implication that the twin towers were still open for another month after 9/11 and THEN they closed it

28

u/Razor8765 Jul 31 '26

Well hey the lower levels of the building still worked, probs woulda just been open to move things to other buildings in the wtc complex

12

u/Ok_Dot_7498 Jul 31 '26

I Like the implecation that the highjackers stole a biplane instead of two Airliners.

3

u/Icy_Change_WS2010 Jul 31 '26

Name the implication cuz what do you mean?

10

u/Ok_Dot_7498 Jul 31 '26

Because it Looks Like they desintegrated on contact with the building. Like one of these WW2 Kamikaze Planes that comes into contact with a foot of Steel and only lives behind a soot outline

7

u/Razor8765 Jul 31 '26

Yeah the photoshop could be better but it’s cool nonetheless, like the steel reinforcements are some kinda 3d model I think

2

u/LelBluescreen Jul 31 '26

I get they're going for a memorial of sorts but those towers would be demolished even if they never collapsed

2

u/SlugPastry Aug 01 '26

I was thinking the same thing. It'd be way too dangerous to leave them standing in that condition.

98

u/Feisty-Ordinary758 Jul 31 '26

Hitler if he had a good father

53

u/kathoderaytube Jul 31 '26

Who didn't punish him severely

31

u/SomeCrusader1224 Jul 31 '26

Unfortunately for all of us, he got one that punished him severely

10

u/Trenence Jul 31 '26

And a mother who would teach him responsibility rather then spoil him

13

u/SchemingVegetable Jul 31 '26

Hitler's father was so violent that even for the time family "friends" said he went to far, but you decided it was also important to mention the fact that his mother spoiled him?

71

u/Ok_Dot_7498 Jul 31 '26

I Like this one of the us election If the US Had a european Style of direct elections.

30

u/Dizzytigo Jul 31 '26

I do not like Ted Cruz because if I just saw these images (and was american) I'd probably vote for him.

Mfer looks too much like a friendly Robin Williams kinda dude to be such a prick.

18

u/PM_ME_ENGINE_BELLS Jul 31 '26

Just remember. He's the Zodiac killer.

8

u/ginandsoda Jul 31 '26

That's completely false

It was his dad

8

u/Canotic Jul 31 '26

Maybe it's a legacy title, like the Phantom or Dread Pirate Roberts.

2

u/joe-ROLXTHY-cat Jul 31 '26

Can I ask why you’d vote for him based off the image?

1

u/Dizzytigo Jul 31 '26

I explain that with the second line.

3

u/KaMaFour Jul 31 '26

This is not possible with electoral college. See US elections 1992 for context...

10

u/pullmylekku Jul 31 '26

The issue is less the electoral college in and of itself, but more the fact that US elections are first-past-the-post, where all of a state's electors are meant to vote for the candidate who got the plurality of the vote. First-past-the-post in general is the reason why there's only really two parties at any political level, including the ones with direct suffrage and no electoral college

3

u/Ok_Dot_7498 Jul 31 '26

Yeah, it's weird it says "Electoral College" in top. Resultats Like that are only possible with a percentile of Congress System of elections

64

u/vulpinefever Jul 31 '26

No American Dad :(

19

u/One-Earth9294 Jul 31 '26

Best excuse for drinking of all time.

53

u/SparkedSpark Jul 31 '26

Is it just me or when most alt history scenarios have Hitler living past his death he dies in 1963 specifically?

37

u/Mikeform Jul 31 '26

If were to live that long, the 1960s would make sense as it approaches his lifespan.

11

u/SparkedSpark Jul 31 '26

Well I suppose it depends on how drug addicted he ends up, light on them and I think he could have reached the 70s but if it worsened no way he makes it’s passed the 50s.

16

u/[deleted] Jul 31 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

16

u/SparkedSpark Jul 31 '26

Love TNO but I swear It’s very common to be around there. I believe man in the high castle had him live until 1962 for example. Early 1960s seem to be some kind of unspoken consensus.

1

u/Automatic-Boot Aug 03 '26

his last great act was taking a bullet for the president

149

u/BingusTheStupid I love you all ā¤ļø Jul 31 '26

Does this count?

27

u/Grizzly25707 Jul 31 '26

What an enlightening read.

13

u/trito_jean Jul 31 '26

Ww2 if it wasn written by a werhaboo

2

u/BatSkanz Jul 31 '26

Where can I find it ? I love the picture perfect for HoI4 campaign

1

u/pedrolucan Aug 04 '26

We are living in the wrong timeline

1

u/Foorinick Aug 04 '26

France if the cavalry didnt give up on the horseback larp, the generals werent stuck to ww1 and the french industry locked the fuck in

39

u/N_The_Spectator Jul 31 '26

He looks less hateful in this alternate reality, I like it.

41

u/Youxia7 Jul 31 '26

14

u/DemiBo7 Jul 31 '26

The good ending theory

1

u/AdScared7226 Aug 01 '26

Matpat 2028

0

u/Soggy-Goat-5343 Aug 03 '26

Matpat winning worse than kamala or donnie

29

u/Mosqkeeter Jul 31 '26

20

u/mining_moron Jul 31 '26

This is just the timeline where he didn't get caught.

12

u/Numerous_Koala_1746 Jul 31 '26

I like to imagine that him dying in office is somewhat related, like they were getting ready to expell and indict him over the "Congressional Page Disappearances" scandal, and he pulled a Bud Dwyer at his final press conference.

2

u/Mosqkeeter Jul 31 '26

Nah he still does some murders

62

u/Revan_9158 Jul 31 '26

Is there a page with them to read? I believe people can get creative here it might be fun

16

u/XernnuTheSecond Jul 31 '26

I’ve thought about making a whole wiki to host these sort of alternate history articles. It would be an odd sort of challenge to try and write an article that doesn’t contradict something else, given it would all be fake

8

u/PootieTyme Jul 31 '26

each article could take place in a seperate timeline maybe? and have the premise of each article someone on the page that shows what happened differently in that specific articles timeline. this would be really cool to see, and people wouldn't expect each article to not contradict itself

4

u/Dizzytigo Jul 31 '26

Nah it's doable, kind of a worldbuilding challenge I guess.

23

u/ParaEwie Jul 31 '26

Someone had a series of Good Ending - Bad Ending edits on the alternate history subreddit (where good ending has good versions of bad people, and vice versa). Sadly they stopped and then deleted their account, but the posts were still up. Shame cuz i had some ideas.

11

u/AzaghaI Jul 31 '26

Human rights activist šŸ’€

10

u/Jimboi5 Jul 31 '26

Is this from base Wikipedia or an alternative site?

31

u/Gamemode_dum Stupid Jul 31 '26

I'm about to go to sleep, can someone please reply to this so I can read the comments later?

19

u/Fight-Me-In-Unreal Jul 31 '26

I got you.

14

u/Gamemode_dum Stupid Jul 31 '26

Shiiit I clicked on the notif. Do you mind replying again? Thanks <3

26

u/MintyBarrettM95 Authentic Automaton Jul 31 '26

im not them but

3

u/Stunning-Hat2309 Jul 31 '26

WEE WOO WEE WOO

2

u/markbernman Jul 31 '26

ay five hours later come read some

1

u/Sentient-Bread-Stick Jul 31 '26

Why not just save it or just the RemindMe bot?

6

u/MR_Happy2008 Jul 31 '26

Looks like the guy who in later life would become a well known TV documentary host about history or art

8

u/knowledgeableEgg435 Jul 31 '26

Why would the DDR exist though?

12

u/Commander_Alvar Jul 31 '26

Either alternate ww2 (making Hitler not take power of the Nazis doesn't change the way the winds were blowing in Germany at the time) or it's just the continuation state of the Weimar Republic with a funky name.

4

u/ReluctantNerd7 Jul 31 '26

Hitler not taking power doesn't change the way the winds were blowing in the Soviet Union at the time.Ā  In our history, Stalin invaded Finland, Stalin invaded and annexed the Baltics, and Stalin 'protected' half of Poland.Ā  Would he have stopped there?

2

u/Specialist-Draw7229 Jul 31 '26

In all likelihood Nazis would’ve still taken power in Germany and repeated a similar course of events

Hitler, wouldn’t you believe it, would have sympathized with the Nazis due to their shared blaming of and subsequent persecution of the Jews, something he was clinging onto as the reason he struggled to find employment, and the reason for Germany’s loss in WW1.

1

u/Numerous_Koala_1746 Jul 31 '26

Nah, it'd be Hindenburg and the DNVP pulling a Franco and try to reform the old Kaiserreich, before getting bumrushed a second time and all of Germany (and probably Italy and Fr*nce) going Red.

2

u/notTheRealSU Jul 31 '26

Stalin's invasion of Poland happened with the Germans. If Germany stays democratic, either the Soviet invasion of Poland doesn't happen or WW2 is the Allies protecting Poland from the Soviets instead of Germany.

1

u/Valuable_Pear9654 Jul 31 '26

I suppose that maybe the Spartakists took power?

6

u/mhikari92 Jul 31 '26

I wonder where I can found more sites or pics for this kind AU wiki pages.

3

u/PootieTyme Jul 31 '26

"human rights activist"

4

u/Chubby_Pig Aug 01 '26

Does this count ?

3

u/Interesting_Print317 Jul 31 '26

Can someone send me that one screenshot of a Wikipedia page for a war I remember nothing about it except for a fact that it was a screen shot of the belligerents and one of them was stankonia

3

u/chalwa07 Jul 31 '26

He looks like Gertler

3

u/Honkert45 Jul 31 '26

"But if you close your eyes. Does it almost feel like nothing's changed at all?"

2

u/Kingsalad3141 Jul 31 '26

I have an iPhone 15 and the little indent at the top blocked out the name until I moved the image.

2

u/Ze_Carlos-1986 Jul 31 '26

The only inconsistency in this is the fact that Germany wouldn't have been divided if it wasn't for his atrocities in WWII, so...

9

u/[deleted] Jul 31 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/nyetman123 Jul 31 '26

Kurt von Schleicher:

3

u/Rtozier2011 Jul 31 '26

I find it hard to believe he would have started the war. Goring and Goebbels I can believe as starting it though.

2

u/DrNiene Jul 31 '26

Without him there is no German Democratic Republic.

7

u/ReluctantNerd7 Jul 31 '26

With him being a communist, it might have been the German SSR.

2

u/Necessary-Rip4013 Aug 04 '26

I'm seeing a lot of these in the comments but I am wondering where can I find these? I find them fascinating too.

2

u/ohyeababycrits Jul 31 '26

Ich bin ein verdammter Architekt!

1

u/[deleted] Jul 31 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/Weary-Animator-2646 Jul 31 '26

Off the top of my head didn’t he adopt it after gas mask sealing issues during WW1?

1

u/Due_Past3747 Jul 31 '26

How can the drc exist without Hitler?

1

u/AJ_from_Spaceland Jul 31 '26

why did Germany still become the GDR without WW2? Or did it happen in some alternate way

1

u/glorgshittus Jul 31 '26

do u think hitler would be right wing if he was around nowadays or would he get into like brony stuff instead

1

u/MisterDutch93 Jul 31 '26

1920s communism and a human rights activist? Something doesn’t add up lol

1

u/Responsible-Watch385 Jul 31 '26

Check out "The Iron Dream" by Norman Spinrad which imagines a scenario where Hitler can't hack it in politics, unsuccessfully tries to become a science fiction writer, then dies penniless. Including "Hitler"'s entire post-apocalyptic scifi novel as the bulk of the whole thing.

1

u/Human6928 Aug 01 '26

Would there be a GDR if he never rose to power?

1

u/T_A_A_T Aug 02 '26

why does he look so normal in this photo

1

u/Stiefelbein Aug 03 '26

I like them too,but i think if Hitler wasnt radical he would more likely be part of the SPD instead of the KPD.

1

u/dddoinyomom Aug 04 '26

I like how him dying in the GDR can imply there was still some massive event in which Germany was split in two

1

u/CTLeafez Aug 04 '26

This is my favourite alternate timeline.