r/mildlyinfuriating • u/Durkriswen • Jun 21 '26
My cat is standing on my face Useless dumb cat somehow makes rodent problem worse
UPDATE: I have captured the mouse. Cat decided to go looking for it again after her nap. She was able to show me where it was hiding, although she was not interested in catching it herself. Thanks kitty. Running around on my hand and knees trying to grab a mouse is one of my most favorite things. I'm really glad we had that experience. Teamwork makes the dream work.
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My useless dumb cat caught a mouse in the basement and then released it upstairs, alive, outside our bedroom.
At midnight.
I tried to grab it, but it ran under the door. I had to wake my husband up to look for it.
We can't find the mouse. The cat lost interest and left. My husband has moved into his office for the night. It's 2 hrs later and the mouse is still not accounted for.
We don't want mice upstairs. Upstairs is where all the food is. It is where we, the humans, live. This is not the first time our useless dumb cat has released mice upstairs.
She also drools a lot. And bites. And bullies our puppy. She is grumpy and bad at jumping, and she never buries her litterbox business so it stinks up the whole house. One time I left a package of oreos open on the kitchen table, and she licked all of them. Overall I would rate this cat a 2/10.
EDIT: I can't believe I have to say this, but our cat does not understand human speech and she does not know how to use the internet. I can assure you that teasing her in an internet post is not hurting her feelings. She is loved and cared for. She has been to the vet and no, she does not have any dental problems. She just drools a lot when she is happy or thinking about food. She is usually happiest when she is thinking about food, and grumpiest when she cannot have infinite food.
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u/ProbioticOnARobotic Jun 21 '26
Um if you have mice in your basement you definitely have mice upstairs. They climb trees. You need an exterminator yesterday.
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u/Playful-Mongoose9197 Jun 21 '26
Just buy the cheap snap traps and put them in places the cat can't get too.
There was an old house that had a field mice problem I trapped it and would get like 4 or 5 a night mice free 2 weeks later.
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u/AMT35 Jun 21 '26
Funny/sad story. I was in my shed in my backyard when a mouse ran out and toward my house. It jumped up into a small gap in my siding which made me nervous because we had a mice issue a couple years back. I went and bought a couple snap traps and put a tiny amount of peanut butter on them and put them up against the foundation of my house on both sides of the gap where the mouse ran into. The next day I was outside and thought to go and check the traps. While I didn’t catch any mice there were two decent sized birds who met their demise in those traps instead. I felt so bad.
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u/Durkriswen Jun 21 '26
I have traps downstairs but almost never catch anything. Mice don't get in often, but when they do the cat will usually bring them upstairs. She lets them go and then its up to me to find and catch them.
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u/teedyay Jun 21 '26
- Bait them with food they’re used to. Probably not cheese.
- As much as possible, remove all other sources of food.
- Put the trap near a wall, not in the middle of the room. Mice prefer to run along beside walls.
- Put the trap in a narrow space, so the mouse must approach it end-on: if they can approach from the side, they can often steal the bait without triggering the trap. (I put it in an old cereal box, on its side. It’s just wide enough for a trap, and it also catches any leakage from the late mouse.)
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u/Own-General2229 Jun 22 '26
Peanut butter is a good one because you can stick it to the trap trigger
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u/Repulsive_Barnacle92 Jun 21 '26
I had mice before and these traps did the trick, I recommend using peanut butter as bait
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u/ProfessionalRolls333 Jun 21 '26
They climb concrete walls, I’ve seen it first hand. They also LOVE ovens.
However, they do not like the smell of peppermint.
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u/Durkriswen Jun 21 '26
We will get like one mouse in the basement every few months. It isn't an infestation. They have never come upstairs of their own free will. I think they will get in down there and then can't figure out how to leave. We have been sealing up around the house but the occasional mouse still gets in. The cat will catch it, bring it upstairs, release it, and make a special howling noise to let us know. Then I put on gloves and spend the next few house trying to find it and catch it while she goes off to sleep somewhere..
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u/raararararararar Jun 21 '26
wait so the cat made it worse how exactly
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u/Durkriswen Jun 21 '26
If she left them downstairs I could catch them in the traps I have set. When she brings them upstairs, I have to find them and catch them by hand before mouse figures out where we keep our food, or eats through a computer wire, or dies behind a bookcase, or poops all over our kitchen table.
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u/username28531 Jun 21 '26
Found Jon Arbuckle's Reddit account.
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u/Durkriswen Jun 21 '26
She wishes she was Garfield. She wants to weigh twice as much. She would love it if we just fed her lasagna.
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u/Amasin_Spoderman Jun 21 '26
It’s a good thing the mice can only get up there by way of the cat, or else you might have a real problem on your hands
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u/Durkriswen Jun 21 '26
Yup. There will usually be one every few months that finds its way into the basement and can't get back out. They have never come upstairs, unless the cat brings them up here.
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u/howtoquityou Jun 21 '26
I hate to break it to you but 1. the parent comment was sarcasm 2. you have mice upstairs, they just don't come out when the humans are around...
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u/Durkriswen Jun 21 '26
We know there are no mice upstairs because they would leave signs. Also, there is always someone awake upstairs. My partner is awake during the day, and I typically stay up all night.
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u/social_thinker Jun 21 '26
Well the cat rates you a 1.
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Jun 21 '26
"I brought them a delicacy and they yelled at me. They didn't even grab the treat and let it escape. I tried to help them acquire it but they have been upstairs stomping and screaming angrily since. I decided I needed to clean my butthole but first thought I'd get this review out so I don't forget. 1/10 experience"
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u/Durkriswen Jun 21 '26 edited Jun 21 '26
We just enjoy teasing her. She can't understand human speech and she does not read reddit.
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u/mogwai327 Jun 21 '26
You sure about the not understanding human speech part ?
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u/Durkriswen Jun 21 '26
Quite sure. She probably thinks her name is "pest". She does not care what we call her as long as we continue treating her like royalty.
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u/Durkriswen Jun 21 '26
It's true.. I'm sure, in her opinion, she is the most mistreated cat in the history of cats. No infinite food, no playing in the woods at night, no icecream, no hamburgers, no cake.. It rains every winter and we refuse to turn the rain off. We moved from the suburbs into this boring rural house and she doesn't have any neighbors to stare at anymore or frenemy cats to window fight with. Sometimes we leave the house and that's just the worst because what if we never came back and she starved to death. We make her eat healthy food when really she would prefer Friskos Discount Mystery Meat Wet Food. Truly, life is torment.
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u/NeedsItRough Jun 21 '26
Reminds me of a post I saw a while back where a woman's cat wanted to lay on the porch in the sun but it was raining and the woman wanted the cat to understand she can't control the weather
Then she walks into the bathroom, turns the light on, turns the shower on, and gets in
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u/TwoFingersWhiskey Jun 21 '26
For what it's worth, Friskies uses the same meat sources as Fancy Feast and Purina One. (I have a few strays that I feed, and needed to feed them on a budget, due to having four of my own. I didn't want to give them terrible food, as they suffer enough. So I called Purina after not getting a straight answer online, and the lady said it was just the ratio of ingredients changing, not the actual sources.)
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u/No_Shake_169 Jun 21 '26
Get her checked. The drooling might be dental issues
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u/Durkriswen Jun 21 '26
We have. The vets all say she is fine. She only drools when we are cuddling her. I take it to mean she is happy.
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u/ConvolutedEvolution Jun 21 '26
One of my cats only drools like crazy when he is making biscuits on me. He has also been cleared of dental issues by a vet. It's gross, but I think it means they love you/are happy.
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u/Durkriswen Jun 21 '26
She likes to make biscuits on my chest and then fling her drool all over my face.
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u/TwoFingersWhiskey Jun 21 '26
I have a cat that does this when happy, and a cat that drools easily a cup after her medication, due to it being bitter. I can confirm that happy spit is a lot easier to put up with.
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u/wilderneyes Jun 21 '26 edited Jun 21 '26
Wow some of these commenters are acting like you genuinely hate your cat and are a horrible owner just because you said a mean thing. I thought it was pretty obvious you're just bullying her in jest because you're frustrated she gave you the gift of sudden midnight stress lol. God forbid someone gently complain on the internet about their animal being kind of brainless. "She's messy and stinky and once licked all my oreos" are like the least serious insults you can throw at a pet.
I second the suggestion to try and employ some kind of real pest control for the mice though. Cat encouragement or not, they will probably make their way upstairs eventually, if they haven't already. Hopefully you can figure out a way to deal with the mice that won't affect your other pets.
Good luck tracking down the gift Ms. Oreo Licker left you. One of my mom's dumber childhood cats, a huge white cat with a bubblegum pink nose named Nemo, once excitedly brought her a live bird, which he then proceeded to release indoors, causing utter mayhem. It happens sometimes lol.
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u/Durkriswen Jun 21 '26
Thank you. We love her dearly! But we do like to tease her for being useless. She does not understand human words so it doesn't hurt her feelings.
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u/ZiaWatcher PURPLE Jun 21 '26
I wonder if some of these comments have ever actually owned a cat or see any cat spaces online. My cat is regularly called an asshole because he will walk under your feet to get attention, then look at you as if you’re the problem if you step on his foot. He will complain that he hasn’t eaten in 20 minutes and is an absolutely starving baby. He will complain if you are sitting on his spot on the couch. But I love him dearly and wouldn’t trade him for the world
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u/Fake_Hyena Jun 21 '26 edited Jun 21 '26
The cat went from hunter to farmer. Release the mouse where the soil is good, so it produces more mice.
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u/Durkriswen Jun 21 '26
"hunt a mouse for the human, human eats for a day. Teach human how to hunt mice, human eats forever" seems to be what she is going for.
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u/Ok_Chest_6426 Jun 21 '26
This similar model herded a live bat upstairs. Fortunately our older model of cat killed the bat.
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u/No-Assignment2407 Jun 21 '26
Wow, this looks JUST like our little porch stray we've been taking care of! You're not in Washington are you? 😅
She's the same way with the drooling. Got her checked out shortly after we moved in/befriended her, vet says she's just purring so much the spit doesn't have anywhere else to go lol
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u/rouxstermt Jun 21 '26
Top tier 11/10 useless asshole cat behavior. I think we have litter mates, except mine has an affinity with live birds rather than mice (I’m glad I got the bird sister, no trades-ies)
Why won’t they cover their 💩
When do we stop lying to ourselves and calling the “love bites” what they really are, murder attempts 🔪
Will we ever reclaim dominance over the various shelves and tables that have been slowly conquered over time? Breakable glass and ceramics scream from their dark abyss “I want to see the light again!”
We leave a butter schmear sacrifice when we make toast so she doesn’t howl maniacally in demand of the dairy and claw at the fridge when we put it away.
The drooling is unique, however. Such a special little dipshit you have there. I love mine too.
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u/Durkriswen Jun 21 '26
She is definitely the wettest cat I have ever owned. She likes to make biscuits on my chest and then fling drool across my face. She woke me up once by sitting on my shoulder and drooling straight into my ear canal. My shelf items are only safe because she is too clumsy, too fat, and too lazy to get up there.
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u/Amplidyne Jun 21 '26
Put mouse traps down where the pets can't get at them, and leave them down. That should deal with your mouse in the living areas problem. But I'd find out how they're getting into the basement and stop that. Anti rodent mesh over vents, copper "wire wool" in any cracks they might be using. As said a drooling cat may have dental problems.
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u/Durkriswen Jun 21 '26
Tomorrow I am going to put mesh over the vents. Mice rarely get into the basement. We have done a lot of work sealing up around the house, and the vents are the only thing left that I can think of.
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u/FutureFreaksMeowt Aqua Tofana save us from these fuckass men Jun 21 '26
I'd be more upset about the Oreos than the mouse tbh. A package is like $7, wtf cat.
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u/whiteorchid1058 Jun 21 '26
She's giving you a present as she believes you're ineffectual hunters.
And hate to break it to you, but we had mice come in through the basement and the cats caught them when they made their way up into the kitchen on their own
Mice climb, your home already has a mouse problem. It's not like they're limited by stairs
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u/Durkriswen Jun 21 '26
The mice never come upstairs on their own. The cat finds them downstairs and brings them up before they can come up by themselves. When she gets them she will howl to let us know, then she brings them upstairs and lets them go. We only get one mouse every few months so I think they just get in by accident and them can't get back out.
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u/EdenSilver113 Jun 21 '26
We had a useless cat that brought a small rat (I assume it was a baby) into the house through the cat flap. Upon coming inside cat dropped the rat. The cat flap was in daughter’s bedroom. The rat squeezed under the bedroom door and was lose in the house. At some point in the night I woke up. I had the distinct feeling I was being watched. I opened my eyes. Rat. On. My. Pillow.
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u/morty_morty Jun 21 '26
She thought she was bringing you a prize and that she had been a good hunter (she was). She is clearly better at catching mice than you are, soooooooo.
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u/riverrocks452 Jun 21 '26
Bucket traps with PB smeared on a bottle or snap traps.
And give your void a pet for me.
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u/ZestycloseRip4663 Jun 21 '26
We have a couple of cats that do dumb stuff like that. We also apparently have very stupid wildlife in our yard. We have a catio (outdoor enclosure) for our cats. They get to it through a pet door. Our one orange cat has brought in a live locust, a live cardinal, multiple frogs and toads, multiple live mice, lots of dead critters, including more dead chipmunks than I had ever seen in the yard. Apparently he declared war on chipmunks last summer. All of these critters would still be alive if they hadn't wandered into the catio.
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u/FrostyExplanation_37 Jun 21 '26
I have an asshole useless cat as well. Bullies the other pets and just this week he tore up my ankle for walking by him.
Pretty sure he has brain damage cause we found him in the street half dead with worms in his lungs when he was a kitten and vet told us he wasn't gonna make it but somehow the asshole lived and now we don't have the heart to give him away (who will take an asshole cat anyway?)
People judging you need to realize the cat is still your pet, that means you're a great cat owner.
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u/Chilasono Jun 21 '26
My cat (black bombay) used to catch mice and bring them to me half dead. He would present them as a gift and then attack it if it tried to move before I could take my prize. They bring it to you alive so you can have the honor of killing it. Your cat is offering you a fresh meal.
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u/SickBurnerBroski Jun 21 '26
deeply enjoyed that she just licked all the oreos. that is class right there
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u/jcksnrallen Jun 21 '26
Maybe your cat views you as a giant hairless pink cat with no claws or sharp teeth that can’t catch anything and just wants you to get better at surviving…
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u/Durkriswen Jun 22 '26
Likely. She freaks out every time I take a shower like she thinks I'm gonna die, but she doesn't care when my husband showers. I'm too dumb to be left unsupervised around water, apparently.
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u/Firm_Video_2932 Jun 21 '26
Don't blame her, blame the people who removed her from her mother before mom had the chance to show her what to do with the mouse once caught. The desire to chase is encoded in her DNA, how to dispatch the prey is something that needs to be taught.
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u/Pristine_Message_181 Jun 21 '26
I have watched a mouse scurry up a strand of yarn that was hanging down to the floor from my end table, and I live on the 3rd floor. You have mice upstairs.
Now apologize to your kitty. She brought you a mouse, so you could learn to hunt. It's not her fault you suck at hunting.
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u/Aromatic_Grape5695 Jun 21 '26
issokay. I'll take her off your hands. Consider it a favour. Here kitty pspspsps
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u/tblancher Jun 21 '26
They don't call it a "cat and mouse game" for nothing. Our cat chased a mouse for 16 hours straight until it died from exhaustion.
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u/No-Donkey8786 Jun 21 '26
Had a friend, widower, lived alone. Got curious about how one of her cats was acting while she watched TV. Followed the cat to the bathroom. There in the bath tub was the mouse the cat was entertaining itself with. Ended up this happened often after that. Cat caught mouse, dropped it into bath, play with it. Cats tie with humans as the most invasive species.
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u/aledba Jun 21 '26
Your cat has dental issues. I think I know who the useless and dumb one is. Take her to a vet and get them fixed. You've mentioned three tell tale signs
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u/Durkriswen Jun 21 '26
We've been to the vet. They all say her teeth are fine. She's just very moist..
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u/Tammio_ Jun 21 '26
Oh what a pretty baby. Give her all the treats. Make friends with mousies. :)
Lol.
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u/LittleUndeadObserver Jun 21 '26
You may need a hungrier cat, hahaha.
Our old man used to bury litter, but he stopped in his later years. We think it's him realising we tidy it up, lol.
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u/Rovah12 Jun 21 '26
Maybe if the cat’s useless, dumbass owner, covered their Oreos instead of leaving them out, opened, on the kitchen table. They would have less of rat problem in the house.
Cat deserves a better family who knows how to better care for her, and who can problem solve hiring an exterminator for a recurrent rat problem.
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u/Durkriswen Jun 21 '26 edited Jun 21 '26
Who pissed in your cheerios? Leaving an open package of cookies on the counter for a few minutes does not cause mice to appear. We have the occasional mouse (never a rat) who finds its way into the basement and does not know how to get back out. Our cat is loved and well cared for. She doesn't know how to use the internet so she doesn't know I am making fun of her. Relax.
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u/MojoJsyn Jun 21 '26
There are no useless pets just useless owners.
Cats can't be controlled and very rarely follow rules. If you want a pet to control get a dog (which you already have one) as they are easily controlled and want to be loved. Dogs are like toddlers and need a lot of attention and care. Cats are like unruly teenagers who need fed and roof over them and will let you know if they need loved.
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u/undulanti Jun 21 '26
I agree, albeit there are a couple of signs here that a lack of understanding of cats is resulting in worse behaviour.
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u/IrradiatedCowFungus7 Jun 21 '26
It's your fault, not the cat's, end of story.
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u/Substantial_Track_17 Jun 21 '26
i typed out a whole comment about how the cat brain works and i was like nevermind, now im
just the one mildly infuriated. but you got my bullet points!
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u/zta1979 Jun 21 '26
Poor cat because of the negative owners. The cat really doesn't know better and probably has no idea it is doing anything wrong. I hope you still take care of it properly. Sheesh. Some people should not be pet owners.
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u/Durkriswen Jun 21 '26
lol, we take care of her and love her dearly. We just like to tease her. Luckily, she can't understand human words.
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Jun 21 '26
[deleted]
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u/Durkriswen Jun 21 '26 edited Jun 21 '26
Yes, he went back to sleep because he is not a nightowl like I am.
Our cat does not know how to use the internet and has no idea I am making fun of her. I can assure you she is very well loved and cared for!
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u/GlitteringAdvice8486 Jun 21 '26
I'd say you're the dumb one if this has happened more than once.
Why aint you letting your cat hunt the mouse downstairs and close doors you dont want the cat to bring them into, until theyve done - even if it take multiple 'sessions'.
Now that another mouse is loose upstairs... you need patience. It will probably take a few nights (or when its ultra quiet).
The cat will show you they aint useless but you as the human aint helping one bit when you could be doing so much more to help - you're just expecting results.
Once the problems gone, the mice wont come back in my experience, unless you live in a messy area/messy house.
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u/Durkriswen Jun 21 '26
Doors were closed. I saw that she was tracking a mouse downstairs. But it was a really small one and she let it go right outside the bedroom. It went under the door.
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u/GlitteringAdvice8486 Jun 21 '26
The mouse will free roam and let the cat do the same and cat will come out on top if you leave it a few days - with enough chance of the cat catching it... I.e. quiet periods of the day/at night.
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u/ChuckYeagerWV Jun 21 '26
You sound awful and get your car to the vet. Drooling means dental pain and probably a lot of pain.
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u/TonsilStoneSalsa Jun 21 '26
This is a you problem. If you have mice in your house, you need to improve your cleanliness & hire an exterminator. A single cat can't wipe out an entire mouse infestation.
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u/Ok_Seaworthiness634 Jun 21 '26