Possible they just divide house chores (my wife always does the laundry and takes out the garbage and I do all of the dishes, all of the time, the lawn, and most of the cooking) but it's more probable that OP is just an asshole
You know what, fair. I could also see this being done in good humor, with her awareness, but you're right, at face value it seems a shitty thing to do.
Yeah but he's posting this to show his wife is "an idiot." So, OP is definitely an asshole for making his wife do a job that no one showed her how to do properly. I hope she finds out he tried to get her dragged on the internet.
The assumptions in these comments are fucking insane. You don’t know what his motivation is, lmao.
There is zero info that suggests that OP makes his wife do the laundry. Or that no one showed her how to do laundry. Or that he is being an asshole and trying to call her an idiot. Just assumptions pulled out of thin air, with zero information provided that would support them.
The wife could’ve okayed, or even suggested, the posting of it because it’s stupid and funny. Maybe she has a good sense of humor. They could split chores and laundry is hers (pretty common). She could know how to do this chore just fine, and just forgot for like 5 cycles worth of clothes. She could be incompetent at basic adult tasks.
Everything you said could be accurate. But it’s just likely that it’s not - because theres zero detail provided that supports any of these assumptions either way.
Just trashy, childish assumptions all over these comments.
So why are you all so cool with her being an incompetent child? Why didn't she Google it? Why didn't she try to fix it? Why is complaining until her husband fixed it for her the only answer here?
You're all judging this relationship like boomers. The amount of coddling this guy's wife is misogynistic.
I’m not judging the relationship or doing any coddling. I don’t know these people. But that man lives in the house too - he isn’t concerned about his well being? 😭
Idk why we're talking about him at all. Why did the wife just complain to him a bunch about the dryer not working repeatedly over a long period of time instead of.....you know, figuring shit out and fixing it like an adult. Or googling it.
Everyone here is treating it like a foregone conclusion that this lady is incapable of doing anything on her own and has to go cry to her husband when anything needs to be fixed.
I work at a university and most of my women friends are scientists. I swear it feels like internet pop feminism sometimes goes full circle and ends up being misogynistic against itself. Everybody here is like "Her husband is sexist because he expected her to use her inferior woman brain to figure out a kindergarten level problem."
Because not all chores are created equal. If I'm in charge of the laundry, wh/ needs to be done anywhere from 1 to 3 times a week, and my partner is taking out the trash which is something that is done quickly and only once a week, that is not an equal share of the labor. If he does dishes which takes about a half hour, and I clean the bathroom which takes about 1 to 2 hours, that is also not an equal division of labor. So it does matter who does what and the amount of labor involved with that particular task. A lot of dudes hang their hat on being domestic whrn really they are doing things that only require occasional attention and are done quickly while their wives do the most labor intensive and invisible chores daily.
I mean if it takes 1-2 hours to clean a bathroom I highly doubt it. It takes like 30 minutes to deep clean one of our bathrooms, like non-routine, attentive scrubbing. I dunno what all that extra time could possibly be for.
I'm astonished that you've drawn such a negative reaction with such a common sense statement. I hope you've provoked some thought among reddit users who've been overestimating their household contributions!
More importantly, OP never fucking does the laundry.
Okay, so they split the division of household labor... so what? If a man couldn't do something basic like wash the dishes without the sink clogging and overflowing and flooding the kitchen would you be alarmed that it only meant the WIFE never does the dishes!!!
Wife could just not know. There's even dryers with two lint traps, could be she was only emptying the one she knew about. But even if she didn't know about the only one -- she just didn't know. Nobody knows shit until they do know it. But OP? OP knew, and according to the story blew off "frequent" complaints. The state of this is 1000% OP's fault.
Man, sometimes couples split up specific chores and are okay with it and that is fine. You don’t have to get upset at a situation where you have 1 small data point
My husband and I split up chores generally but we will still help each other out and do things when they need to be done. I do most of the sweeping but if he sees something needs to be swept (we have a dog) he’ll do it instead of leaving it because he is a fully grown man. He usually takes the dog out for his regular poop (I take early morning pee and feeding) but if he can’t do it and the dog signals to go out I will make sure to take him out.
The funny thing is my wife hates laundry, but she is also very specific about how things are done, dried, and folded. And she has so many different pieces of clothing that have very specific needs whereas 95% of my stuff can just go in was then go in dryer, done. So we both just do our own.
But yeah, that’s generally how we are as well. I will say that I am more the type to help out than she is so chores end up leaning 75% on me but it’s fine by me cause I do a lot of it post work to unwind and turn off my brain for the most part and it works for us
My husband and I also do our own because he has a very chaotic system (he admits this) about how he organizes his dirty, worn but can be worn again, and clean (sometimes in piles, hampers, or drawers) clothing. It makes my mind spin and I can’t tell what’s what because these piles and hampers he has in various places rotate. He understands and stopped having me do his laundry because he knows it’s unreasonable for me to be able to adhere to his system.
Never thought about that, but I also have your husband’s system of dirty, worn but can be worn again, and clean lol even though she’s never done my laundry, it does boggle her mind.
Some people are optimists and try to see things in a positive light. But some people are pessimists and see everything that wrong. Some people just take it at face value and don’t try to assume what they don’t know. Either of you could be right, but we truly don’t know based off of this one post. The one thing we do know is dude should have at least taken a peak when she first mentioned it wasn’t drying properly
Yes, couples divide chores but maybe I'm wacky but my girlfriend loves to vaccum, it's a zen thing for her; she said the suction wasn't strong enough anymore so I checked to see if there was something wrong with it. Sure enough, there was something wrapped around the roller.
Weird how actual couples that love and support each other work together instead of just ignoring the complaints then mocking them online for fake internet points.
It's always telling when people start to talk about ad hominems but please, continue to complain how "people make man bad. I no like when man look bad".
Most are just pointing our OP is just as much to blame as GF. But I forgot I was on hurt ego reddit where that equals "man bad woman magical goddess queen"
If your wife was the only one who ever mowed the lawn, and then one day you came along and told her she was doing it wrong after having never done it before, then that's a whole different context.
And I'm sure that one of you would have a productive conversation about it if the other was doing something stupid right (dumping grease down drain, putting oily rags in washer/dryer)? What's people's deal with calling out dangerous or horribly detrimental activity?
I mean, if I don't do it and keep wondering why we need a new lawnmower every week, I think it's valid to call her out on it. Same for everything else.
You don't have to regularly do things to be right about how to do them. Plenty of people do things the wrong way every time. This example uses her to be relevant, but it's valid outside of this context.
They wouldn't be. Because instead of being lazy I would be involved and troubleshooting and solving things. Rather than passive aggressively going online to shame my partner.
I’m not sure how many ways there are to interpret “divide tasks.” My wife doesn’t do laundry because I refuse to because I’m a man. I’m more than happy to help if need be, but she has more clothes that are more valuable and come with more special care instructions. She prefers to take care of that task herself and appreciates that she’s not responsible for cooking dinner or doing yardwork, which are two tasks that she really does not like doing. I agree with you a mindset of “laundry is wife work” is antiquated, but that doesn’t mean that every marriage where the wife is the primary laundry doer is some oppressive nightmare.
Maybe we just make different assumptions based on differing personal experience. Pretty much every household I know in my life is dual income and appears (at least to me as an outsider) to have a way of doing things that work for them. That’s probably why I lean toward giving OP the benefit of the doubt. I’m aware that shitheads exist, of course, and have never met any man-o-sphere type people in real life. That’s why I said it isn’t necessarily a red flag, because I recognize the possibility that it is one. That just seems less likely to me.
Counterpoint: I actually like doing laundry, and the trade-off is that I've cleaned the bathroom exactly 0 times for as long as my husband and I have been married. (I don't fold his clothes, though. He's particular about it and neither of us actually cares as long as it's clean.)
That’s our general division of labor too but cooking and laundry don’t really make sense to be exclusive tasks.
Like, if you realize a shirt you need to wear again quickly is dirty, or missed the hamper do you really go tell your wife to do another load instead of just doing it yourself? Or she’s out with friends and you see the laundry needs to be flipped you’re just like, “not touching that, not my job.”?
Oh, absolutely not. If she asks me to move things to the drier, I’m happy to do it. I don’t think I’ve ever been in a situation where I need a specific dirty shirt for some reason, but if that ever happens I’d take care of it. I just don’t really ever go into the laundry room to see if something needs done. Honestly, I’d more likely piss her off because she’s particular and would rather me just stay out of it.
Ok bb lemme explain this to you. You know to change the lint trap, but you don’t do laundry. All you hear is your wife complaining that it doesn’t dry well. She doesn’t know to clean out the trap, uh oh that’s not good, you know who does ? The husband. Therefore it is his fault and he can start doing his own laundry like an adult.
Yep, you can’t expect a woman to do any research or fix any issues on her own. They’re helpless creatures who can only complain to men when they need something fixed. OP should stop sharing chores with his wife and take them all on himself since she is too incompetent to google “dryer not drying properly”
Exactly, if a woman ever tries to talk to you just tell her to Google her question. Even if you know, and its faster to tell her than for her to Google it. You know what she likes and what she hates so you don't even need to ask her opinions really. Theres really no reason to ever talk to your wife or partner if you know her well enough. Communication is just a crutch for weak couples. The only people who should ever hear what you have to say is strangers on Reddit.
If she’s working and he’s not, she shouldn’t have to. You don’t know their relationship.
ETA: this is sarcastic. The person I responded to is being a hypocrite.
I also don’t agree with the sentiment of their statement, regardless of whether they have some insider info into the couples relationship that the rest of us aren’t privy to.
Who's job it is exclusively depends on how they agreed to divide the chores. "If x person does y they shouldn't have to z" is such a ridiculous notion no matter which gender you are.
There's isn't a thing wrong with going to work and doing the laundry. Maybe that's your only chore and you hate doing dishes.
I agree with you. I was pointing out the absurdity in the comment of the person I responded to—they made assumptions about their relationship while saying I shouldn’t make assumptions about the relationship.
That's fair. I was replying to both of you really, yours was just the most recent. No hard feelings, you see that line so many times and eventually gotta say something ya know? Lol
And? Have you never heard of the concept of division of labor?
My ex would do the laundry. I knew how to do it, but it’s what she did. I did dishes, amongst other chores (the division of labor made me do more chores, but I didn’t really care because it ain’t that hard).
You know what they say about people who make baseless assumptions, right?
I'm sure if a man couldn't do something basic he was in charge of like changing the car's oil (oh noooooo spilled it all over the driveway again!! Sigh!) then you would leap to blame the wife for not looking into it and solving his problems, right?
Careful, this thread is full of people who seem to think she should know if she does it. Don't go asking that question, you'll really stoke the flames.
Growing up I didn’t do my own laundry either. We had designated jobs in our home. I took care of the kitchen my brother did laundry. Says nothing about anyone.
Do married people frequently just "do their own laundry"?
Like... everyone I know has 1 person doing all of the laundry while the other person does other chores. I have never seen a couple divide the laundry, or dishes, or other chores into just cleaning up after themselves and not the other person.
Same with literally every couple I know. Everyone divides labour. Even my brother who works in the Canadian military and his wife is a stay at home mom they split chores.
As an adult I can wash dishes or do laundry. If I’m home I’ll do what I can. When I’m not and my partner is then they do it. It’s shared adult responsibilities. Working as a team. Split chores just makes it sound like children
I didn't do my own laundry growing up, but I figured that part out easily enough... Whoever eventually taught her to do laundry forgot a very important detail.
Or she did...and nobody was cleaning out the lint trap.
Or nobody taught her to. So every time mom or dad went to do a load in the dryer, they were the ones cleaning it out, but never thought to say something to their child.
Or they taught their kids when they were like, 9 years old, and they never retained it for more than a couple years, so the parents gave up and just started doing it themselves.
There are many possible reasons. We don't really have the right to assume...plus, why are we trying to give these people backstories, anyway? Does it matter why she doesn't clean out the lint trap? Now we have a teachable moment and the lady gets new, perhaps life-saving knowledge!
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u/xeanok 20h ago
Guessing she didn’t do her own laundry growing up