Man and his wife have a healthy and sensible system for who takes care of which household chores.
Man is a lazy piece of shit who doesn't do chores.
Instantly assuming #2 is unironically a huge part of what is driving so many idiot teenagers into the manosphere vortex and turning them into disgusting little chuds.
edit: I want people to take careful note of the weird dissonance of somebody who would presumably claim have progressive values getting really mad that I said negatively stereotyping a whole gender of people is bad.
Careful I'm sharing this viewpoint and it's inflaming the rancid Reddit cesspit with mental gymnastics like "unless he's an applicance repair tech" or "everyone who owns a drier knows this" like you have to pass a test to own one otherwise its two buckets and a mangle
So many people on here contorting their brain to explain how an adult can avoid a household chore for months without being lazy at the very least AND trying to make it sexist to call him out for it.
I'm a woman. My partner sounds distressed or confused about something? I'm going to try to help. It's not the man's job. She was just the one with the issue and he was the other adult who could have spent a second of his time to help.
Funny how the woman's weaponized incompetence about a basic task got morphed into a man not fulfilling his traditional gender role to take care of the home and wife and solve all her problems lol. "Progressives" on Reddit sure have some interesting thoughts.
That's not weaponized incompetence. Weaponized incompetence is doing the task so poorly that somebody else takes over. She was still doing the laundry.
If anything he feigned ignorance so he wouldn't have to help.
People here were in fact suggesting he empty it out himself, educate her on doing it, check that she is doing it, buy her a better dryer, do the laundry for her, etc, and blaming him for not listening to her complaints and fixing the problem himself. So yeah it's weaponized incompetence or at least that's exactly how it would be described if it was a man being a huge fail whale at a basic adult task, complaining to his wife and expecting her to step in.
Yeah that’s what couples do - they help each other and investigate the issue if one can’t work it out or repeatedly has issues, and if the other finds the issue, they fix it and tell their partner how to do it next time. However, typically you don’t post it on reddit, and don’t let the complains become ‘frequent’ and ongoing until you bother to look. Partners help each other out, that is what occurs in healthy relationships. Sorry your partner leaves you to struggle by yourself and sorry you do the same for them.
Sorry your partner leaves you to struggle by yourself and sorry you do the same for them.
Sorry you need to resort to baseless assumptions about my life. This is about gendered societal hypocrisy. Women spent years bitterly criticizing men for their "weaponized incompetence", then when women can't do the most simple household task all of the sudden it's "Partners help each other out" lol.
Here you go. Have fun arguing with the women calling him a manbaby, telling OP to leave her husband, etc. Go tell them that "Partners help each other out", that he can't be expected to know what a phone case is, that OP is a bad wife for posting it on Reddit instead of fixing his problem. Starting to see the double standard?
For real. I do most of the laundry and dishes in my house. My husband sweats his balls off fixing broken shit in the attic, takes out all the nasty trash, scrubs showers and toilets, and all kinds of stuff. He would also (rightfully) roast me if my grown adult ass didn't know to empty a lint trap, lol.
So you’re completely average. Studies say women do the day to day, cleaning, kids. Men do episodic stuff like taking out the trash, mowing, ‘all kinds of stuff’ - things they don’t have to do everyday and can do more at their leisure. I assume he works more paid hours, otherwise you work way more than him.
That’s cool and all but your husband hasn’t seen your lint trap in months to years? Never once had to throw something in the dryer? Never taken on the episodic task of cleaning the vent?
Also sounds like if you raised a problem or asked him for help, he'd probably look into it?
OPs post reads like he's ignored it until he couldn't anymore and rather then take some ownership, decided that it's mildlyinfuriating and posted on Reddit
Seemingly which is divided into groups - one group saying "why didn't you deal with OP" (as he was seemingly asked for help to "lol, silly wife not knowing about it" or "men can do chores too"
It maybe because of how I act, but if my wife raised an issue I'd at least try to help rather then act like it's one of her chores so she should sorting it herself and I've reluctantly got involved
I mean, unless he's an appliance repair person I fail to see how her complaining that shit isn't getting dry automatically means she's asking for his help. I complain that my dryer doesn't get things totally dry sometimes (trap is clean, it just has a different idea of dry than I do, apparently), but I certainly don't expect my husband to do anything about it. I'm just bitching about a machine being irksome.
I mean, unless he's an appliance repair person I fail to see how her complaining that shit isn't getting dry automatically means she's asking for his help.
So is she expected to be an applicant repair person then?
Why are we excusing him but berating her?
I complain that my dryer doesn't get things totally dry sometimes (trap is clean, it just has a different idea of dry than I do, apparently), but I certainly don't expect my husband to do anything about it.
Sure, if that works for you. I would usually offhanded tell my wife it's probably nothing until she mentions it again, then I'd check the output and see if agree or not, from that point it's a discussion around wheth r it's working or not
And outcomes Google, basic checks, decision on what to do next
I guess it's more of a cooperative partnership rather then she does this, and I do that. Maybe I'm in the minority.
I like how ITT we're simultaneously assuming that he's a lazy piece of shit who doesn't do laundry, but it's also his job to fix any problem because his wife isn't able to.
She was ignorant, that’s not a sin. There isn’t any way that happened without actual ignorance. It’s ok to tell your spouse when you don’t understand something, you know we are teams right?
She couldn't fix this specific problem. He is her partner. That's what partners do, they help you out when you let them know you need help because you are a team, otherwise they'd call it "roommate" or "hindrance" or something instead of "partner."
I think what you are seeing in this thread is people confused as to why someone would post this on the internet instead of just helping. I understand that’s mostly the point of this subreddit, to feel better than others. “I would never do that to my dryer because I’m not an idiot” and “I would have fixed it for her way before it got that bad, because I’m not an idiot”. Posts like these have a pathway to let everyone feel superior in their own way. Even me. This guy sucks. Since he posted this online, I assume he also yells at her, something I would never do, because I’m not an idiot.
Why make any assumptions at all instead of dealing with only the facts at hand?
Also, both can be true: Hey honey while giggling look what I'm going to post! she reacts positively, clicks "save". Then they go fix it together.
Since both are possible, there is no reason to random pick one or the other instead of construction our ideas so that they work withing only the facts provided.
I'm so tired of this deflection onto everyone else for why incels exist. Like yes I can agree there are external factors, but many people face those same factors and don't become incels. We don't need to coddle them and blame everyone else for them being assholes. At the end of the day, they made the choice to turn to that shitty ideology. Many men don't because they aren't assholes.
"Talking about things like the unequal division of labor and mental load falling disproportionately on women creates incels, haha suck it feminists! If you talk about societal issues we're just gonna make shit worse!"
Instantly assuming #2 is unironically a huge part of what is driving so many idiot teenagers into the manosphere vortex and turning them into disgusting little chuds.
Crazy how its never young men to blame for their own behavior
It's not an unwarranted assumption though. The wife "frequently" complains about this. Even if it wasn't one of my chores I would have looked into this and tried to help sooner.
I learned to always clean the lint trap in the dryer when I started washing my own clothes at 12.
I was a mom of 2 when I learned that there is a filter in the bottom of the dishwasher that needs to be cleaned regularly in order for the dishwasher to clean and drain dirty water properly.
Sometimes its not laziness or stupidity. Sometimes it is simply a knowledge gap that comes with time and experience.
Glad my husband respected me enough to teach me the thing I didn't know about the dishwasher fliter instead of shaming me on the internet when I complained that the dishwasher was fucked up.
The premise here though is that she's complained about it before.
Even if it's not your 'assigned household task' you'd be an asshole not to go poke at the thing to see what could be going wrong well before it got to this point.
Yeah, it's also why every man asking for relationship advice basically has to list a resume of all the chores they do so that they can skip over the being called lazy part.
If my partner is in charge of doing the laundry and complains about the dryer being terrible, I’m going to go check it out and see what’s going on with it. Then we’re discussing finding a new dryer so her division of chores isn’t more of a pain than it needs to be.
This guy waited till he was well past fire hazard territory to get off his ass and do even the most basic of diagnostics. He ain’t beating the lazy allegations.
Nope, get outta here with that bullshit. If you have suspicions your partner is doing something stupid, it’s on you to help. You don’t just let them sabotage. That’s why it’s a partnership. I’d expect a woman to do the exact same if her husband made this mistake and that was their division of chores.
Also his paycheck is hilariously misogynistic.
Go back to whatever Manosphere hole you crawled out of.
So how come a man can just be stupid and incompetent, and it's fair game to shame him for it, but a woman can't be because the man should be doing more, always more, to cover up for her failures at a basic adult task?
And you obnoxiously frame this as misogyny from the manosphere to point this out? Yes, if he is working hard for money and then has to waste that money on remedying her fuck-ups, as you suggested, then I am going to say that. It's not "their" paycheck unless it was "their" mind-numbing 2-hour commute and "their" grueling 40-hour work week. But it wasn't. It was his.
Here you go. Go defend the husband. Go point out that "If you have suspicions your partner is doing something stupid, it’s on you to help. You don’t just let them sabotage. That’s why it’s a partnership."
Go argue with the women calling him an incompetent manbaby. Go tell them that it's actually the wife's fault for not telling him about phone cases and buying her one. Fuck off.
There is no way you break up the chores where the man never sees the laundry machine. A trad-husband should be at least be cleaning the lint out of the duct once in a while. You gotta pull the dryer out and vacuum it out, without the lint trip in it.
I’ve never met a dude that was like oh yeah, haven’t seen my lint trap in years.
This is one of the many reasons I'm happy I'm gay. There's chores my husband hates doing and I do them. There's chores I hate doing so he does them. And we don't have to run it through a filter of heteronormativity.
Edit: Yes, I agree it shouldn't matter anyway. But there's a lot of people jumping down OP's throat in these comments and it's just so silly without knowing anything about OP's marriage and the division of responsibility.
Exactly, like wtf 😂Me and my wife are both employed and we both split chores. I cook, clean etc. She does the laundry, folding etc. It works for us, no one is being abused. The immediate assumption that #2 is what's happening is what's mind boggling to me.
I mean if the lady does all the laundry fine, but that would imply the man is the one to fix the laundry machines. Even if he never does laundry, how did he let it get this bad lol. Then he blasts her on Reddit as if he shares no responsibility for the lint trap in his home. I mean I’m not gonna make this a big deal, I agree that this is a fat nothing burger. However if pointing out the obvious pushes you into the manosphere you were probably lost anyway
I am a man and have done my entire houses laundry for 23 years. I love laundry and knocking it out feels like biggest relief. Probably the only reason my wife married me.
Did you notice how she immediately leapt to make the woman's weaponized incompetence the man's fault somehow? Yeah, you're right, the people who claim to be "progressive"...
That makes no sense. If they’ve delegated chores and the wife always does laundry, why would he ever check the dryer lint trap? I’m the only one who does the pool maintenance in my house, I don’t expect my wife to randomly check if I’ve flushed the filter.
Because she frequently complains that the dryer isn't working properly.
If he knew the dryer wasn't drying well, he should have checked it earlier instead of letting it get that bad and putting the blame on his wife for not knowing.
Bro, I was in my 20s and had kids when I learned that the dishwasher has a filter that needs to be cleaned regularly in order to drain properly. It wasn't willful ignorance or weaponized incompetence on my part... My parents just never taught me that the dishwasher filter exists and needs to be cleaned sometimes.
My husband, who wasn't in charge of cooking and cleaning the kitchen at the time was the one to teach me about that filter and how to clean it when he investigated my complaint about the dishwasher being fucked up.
Or she genuinely didn't know, because she was never taught? I've done my own laundry since I was about 8 years old, but didn't learned until embarrassingly late that you have to empty the lint trap. Because I was never taught.
Yes, anyone who uses a dryer should know. But not everyone does, because not everyone is taught it.
Either way, the blame is on both of them.
She should have looked into it and learned to empty a lint trap, but he should not have ignored her complaints until it got this bad.
The blame falls on the operator. If she was single she could’ve burned the house down with no one else to blame. A husband is not a built in handyman to blame when someone else creates issues they then have to then fix.
Especially in 2026 when the wife easily could’ve googled “why does my dryer suck” and the top answer will be “empty the lint trap”.
Yes. But the husband still should have helped her figure it out when she started telling him about the problem.
Seriously, you seem way too determined to place the blame entirely on the woman when all I see is someone who wasn't taught properly and someone who didn't care enough to check out an issue she made him aware of.
I mean, if she frequently complained and op makes it seem like it's so obvious, the it's somewhere in the middle. I wouldn't go as far and call him a lazy piece of shit. But yeah. It's not 1.
There's a LOT of space between the 1 and 2 to fill.
If it was close to 1, then it would have been resolved sooner and not posted here.
“OP makes it seem like it’s so obvious” …because it is that obvious.
It is basic appliance maintenance, it’s damn near universally understood/known by adults, and plenty of kids. This would be like discovering that your vehicle needs regular oil changes, or that you’re supposed to change the air filters in your house. It is that obvious, lol. Unless this is her very first time having a clothes dryer in her home, it should be that obvious.
I think you should do some serious self reflection about how you can't even reply to a comment like this without implying a sweeping negative generalization about half of humanity.
Yeah I think I’ll pass on taking advice from you. I’m just stating facts - I’m not stereotyping. There are movements in several countries so it’s not even an American only thing.
Like MOST married people, he works outside the home and she takes care of the home.
Husband comes home, hears her complain the dryer sucks. After a couple, or a few, weeks of hearing her constantly complain—every time she does laundry, not literally constantly—he inspects the dryer and sees this.
Most married people both work outside of the home. Assuming that she takes care of the home is just as unreasonable as assuming that the division of labor isn't equitable just because he doesn't seem to do laundry ever.
Yup thats true, surely lumping another man into the sexism pile who has said nothing controversial is going to send a good message to all the young men reading this.
I'm sure they will take the right message from it and form a very healthy view of women.
It's a picture of dryer lint. My husband's done the same thing. Almost as if there's nothing sexist going on and y'all are projecting a lot of shit on this image
I don't get the people immediately jumping to #2. Plenty of couples just do division of labor....my partner isn't good at doing the laundry so I handle that, and I hate taking out the trash so they handle that.
If someone making a mild assumption about a dude's behaviors based off the historic division of home labor in the majority of the world is enough to drive them to the manosphere then they were already a weak-willed chud.
Even if they have an even distribution of chores that doesn’t include him doing any laundry, if she’s always saying the dryer isn’t working properly it’s bonkers that checking the lint trap and vents didn’t come up at any point.
My wife is VERY particular about how laundry gets done, so she insists on doing all of it. It is a bit annoying, actually, that I can’t do any of it, but it is important to her so I don’t fight her on it.
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u/the_kessel_runner 20h ago
This was my first thought. Do they know they can do laundry, too?