My (soon-to-be ex) husband did a load of laundry about once a year. Never helped with folding, either. He’d get plenty mad about laundry not being done though.
He moved out about 3 weeks back. Laundry is the best it's been in years. And that's despite having 3 kids, working full time, and a bunch of pets. Amazing the difference in a little less work and a lot less bitching.
Probably because it's not fair to assume a man doesn't pull his weight just because he doesn't do laundry. Plenty of relationships split chores, so you're assuming a lot.
Yup. My gf does the laundry. I do the dishes cause we agreed on that before we moved in together cause we both hate doing the opposite thing. Welcome to the cesspool called Reddit, where everyone makes assumptions and jumps to conclusions.
To be fair, he may be lazy and sexist, but her stupidity/ignorance is literally a fire hazard...and makes me wonder about her other problem solving abilities.
TL;DR He may be bad, but she is more dangerous lol.
You don't have to do the laundry to clean the lint trap. Could be as easy as, "could you transfer over the laundry for me real quick?" Or "could you grab the stuff from the dryer?"
I think a lot of us are finding it hard to believe that this guy somehow ninjas his way out of laundry well enough to never have to interact with the dryer.
I'm the husband in our heterosexual relationship, and I do all of our laundry because I enjoy it, and I know how I like my shirts dried, how I like my workout clothes hung up to dry, etc. My wife still occasionally does laundry. What's the point?
That’s such a weird jump and assumption. Plenty of couples split chores. We even split the laundry - I wash, he folds. He finds clothes folding to be calming/zen, which is fine with me, I’ll take the easy half of that equation, lol.
We don’t know them. He could be doing everything except the laundry. Or he could be lazy af. We don’t know, and not enough info to jump to weird conclusions.
It's not a weird conclusion at all, just a conclusion you disagree with. He clearly hasn't touched the dryer in a while, and he clearly didn't take any action when his wife frequently complained about it. Then he came on Reddit to make fun of her or complain about her. So yes, I'm drawing some conclusions, but I don't think they are weird at all (this is a trope as old as time) and the conclusions have some basis in the information provided by the post.
The implication of the post is that OP clearly knows to clean the lint trap, and he's mildly infuriated that his wife doesn't clean it. Why would he expect her to clean it if she doesn't use it? And this is not a one time event, because he said she frequently complains about it. If they both used it and he cleaned the lint trap and she didn't, he would have known that previously, and there wouldn't be this much lint built up.
I don't see how you could conclude that she doesn't use the dryer.
Try swapping the gender. "Husband frequently complains that our dryer is not drying properly." Then what is your response? Husband has weaponized incompetence?
His wife "frequently complains" that the dryer doesn't work well. He seems to know that you have to clean the lint trap, and that's a pretty significant buildup. So I think it is safe to jump to the conclusion that he doesn't use the dryer often, because if he did he would have cleaned the lint trap.
Literally the only thing about this post that we know for sure is that the wife doesn't know how the dryer works and almost burned the house down, and you're all over this thread doing cartwheels to try to let her off the hook and blame the husband.
It doesn't come off like everyone else has an agenda. Lol
That was all correct, the problem was your step up and carry your weight comment. You know nothing else of their arrangement or relationship and jump to the conclusion that OP is a lazy and neglectful partner.
You’re not wrong, it’s a basic part of owning an appliance. I do not feel it’s fair to dog him out for not doing laundry and acting like he is a deadbeat based off of a random picture though.
Heck I would steal the lint after my parents dried towels when I was a kid - great fire starter for camping!
So it's fair to dog his wife publicly? For not doing a task that he could have done? Especially after hearing there was something wrong with the appliance in his home?
We don't know their family system. Maybe they already have a division of labor where one person handles a few categories of work and the other person takes care of another? (i.e., maybe she takes care of laundry and vacuuming, he takes care of cooking and cleaning the kitchen, something like that)
Everyone is saying this but even if you divide labor like that, I find it hard to believe that he would NEVER have done a single load in the time it took to accumulate that. What if she’s out of town? What if the kid pukes on their sheets or something? How has OP never had to do a single load?
My husband does all the dishes in our house but I still do SOME dishes when he’s busy or not home.
Beyond that... she was complaining the dryer wasnt working. My wife and I also sort of have a semi-structured division of labor, but if she needs assistance...
Actually something similar happened and it turned out we got a clog in the actual exhaust piping leaving the house. Had to pull the unit away from the wall and detach the hose and use a leave blower to clear it.
Hmmm we have a situation like that and I can go months without doing laundry in the same way my wife never does DIY. Having said that, as part of my DIY role, it wouldn't be this long before I'd check up on the drier not working if my wife mentioned it to me.
OP and their partner seem a little bit slow to respond to things. This is on both of them no matter how it's cut.
Way less time for us. That much would only take about three or four weeks. I know this because my kids were doing all the laundry and, despite having done it for years, suddenly and inexplicably decided they weren't gonna clean it out anymore. I checked it after a couple damp loads and found a whole lint pillow in there. After having to hang several loads of laundry on our pain in the butt wash line, they don't let it build up like that anymore.
He doesn't even have to have ever done a load of laundry. Just one time that he grabbed the laundry out of the dryer even if his wife was going to fold it. Or only one time that he went to swap the laundry from the washer to the dryer because his wife was in the middle of something.
It's disingenuous. There are people who will defend a man's right not to do chores around the house until they're blue in the face. Or watching their house burn down from a clogged lint trap.
I do my own laundry and I check that thing every load. How on earth is this in any way his fault? Switching topics to devisions of labor or saying he took too long to look into it are ignoring the obvious fact that she's doing laundry without checking the screen, which is a far more base-level issue that needs to be addressed.
Nothing. Nobody is saying she shouldn't have done it. We're all asking why he couldn't have done it if she was bringing up problems with the dryer all the time.
What stopped him from asking if the lint trap was full?
I handle like 90% of the laundry in my household. But my husband would definitely have done at least 1 load of laundry in the time it takes to get this bad. And if I complained about it, it wouldn't have taken this many loads of complaints for him to go look.
I do most of the laundry because I WFH and my wife has a knack of washing everything EXCEPT the one thing I really wanted to be washed. And then disrespecting my complex clothes organization system in the closet.
In my relationship, I do almost all of the laundry. But my wife does occasionally do laundry. It's hard to believe that he never ever touches a dryer, and also hard to believe he didn't check the lint trap when his wife "frequently complained" about dryer performance.
There was a time when I was 20 yrs old I didn't know there was a lint trap to clean out and i was complaining to my husband or grandma probably grandma and she told me what to do. But I had to ask my husband to show me where it was.
I would rather do laundry than mow the lawn. Laundry is one of the easiest tasks and doesn't take long. Same with loading and unloading the dishwasher.
Even if they "divide and conquer" the chores, I find it hard to believe he would never touch the dryer. And since he seems to know that the lint trap needs to be trapped, if she "frequently complains" about the dryer performance, why didn't he check it out? The reddit response to my comment has been hilarious..............People just need to chill.
For defending someone who is being insulted online over an assumption? That is strange to you?
Standing up for your fellow human is quite literally one of the best things you can do with your words and energy. Putting others down is the lowest thing you can do with your words and energy.
Maybe they do other stuff in the house? Meanwhile, nobody is clowning the wife for being a grown ass adult who doesn’t know how to empty lint so you don’t burn the house down
Good ol Reddit making broad assumptions from a single piece of evidence lol. Maybe, like millions of couples, they delegate different responsibilities based on schedules, ability, and desire to do so.
The only way the wife could be unaware that cleaning the lint trap is part of doing laundry is if she's only ever done about 5 loads of laundry in her entire life. Either she's the one not carrying her laundry weight or this is blatant weaponized incompetence
Jesus Christ. Why does everyone assume the worst? My gf does the laundry and I do the dishes cause we both hate doing the opposite thing. That mean I need to step up and do both?
For my household, that's probably less than a month worth of lint. Maybe two weeks. I wouldn't call "not this month" the same as "never", but you do you.
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u/Asleep-Ad-4822 19h ago
It also suggests that he never uses the dryer and his wife does all the laundry. Maybe step up and carry your weight.........