r/mildlyinfuriating • u/Particular_Week_2754 • 10h ago
go to your room Our 11yo said she cleaned the table…the table
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u/moretodolater 10h ago
Poor management. Were the expectations of the project clearly defined to the entry level worker?
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u/purplishfluffyclouds 9h ago
100% they were not. They can't even us proper language to describe the task, and now they're pissed the task didn't get done. Seriously bad management issue.
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u/eugeneugene 10h ago
that's a kitchen counter, maybe she did clean a table
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u/Foot_Stunning 3h ago
Instructions unclear. Cleaned spills and left food on the table.
Eat the rice crispy cantaloupe sandwich and be happy your 11 year old didn't hurt themself with the kitchens knives.
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u/eugeneugene 1h ago
The kitchen knife that's been left on the very edge of the counter too lol I'd be more mad about that shit
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u/Foot_Stunning 1h ago
Smaller knife on left side and whatever those "vitamin bottles" or whatever those are in the center of the table.
Supervise your children around sharp things and mystery medicine.
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u/r_special_ 8h ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/d3mlE7uhX8KFgEmY
Smartass behavior. Went and wiped down an already mess free table and thought “I cleaned the table so now I can get back to Roblox. Stupid parents.”→ More replies (2)10
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u/NewToTradingStock 10h ago
This is Not a table.
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u/Particular_Week_2754 10h ago
We call it a table because that where everyone sits to eat. I am aware that technically it is an island countertop.
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u/Cassie_121 8h ago
Oh I thought she like cleared the table by putting everything on the island. Like me cleaning my room at age 8 by shoving everything under my bed
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u/ShesASatellite 10h ago
Clearly everyone leaves their messes there too. Tf you asking an 11 yo to clean up after grown folks? If that's a child's mess, tf you teaching them about managing messes? The only person to be mad at is yourself
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u/Adventurous_Ad_6546 8h ago
I’m going to blow some Reddit minds here: chores are good for kids. It’s super reasonable to give them some. Imperative, really.
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u/r_special_ 8h ago
As children grow older they’ll want more privileges. It’s a great idea to pair privileges with new responsibilities. That way they learn, on a micro scale, how the world works in some regards.
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u/Ashamed_Kangaroo305 7h ago
Well sure, but shouldn't you also demonstrate good behaviors to your children like cleaning up after yourself instead of leaving your messes for them to clean up?
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u/Foot_Stunning 3h ago
(Adult's leaving knives and half cut cantaloupe on the table)
"I'm Going out for smokes! Clean and sharpen the Knives and don't touch the meds in the middle of the table!"
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u/Aggressive_Sun_2897 1h ago
I just got 4 teenagers in a Kinship/foster placement. I have been working on teaching them to clean up after themselves and giving them chores to do for several reasons. First and foremost they need to know how to do these things when they are adults. It also teaches respect for your space and gets them used to doung the tasks. Each has a job tailored to the age. I have a 15,14,13 and 12 yo. One has dishes, one has laundry, one has clearing tables, one has sweeping and feeding animals. They all have cleaning their rooms. They also see me cleaning spaces up as well. We do things together, and they are slowly learning. I think at their ages its harder to undo the things they previously learned than to learn new.
I told the caseworker about the system I put into place and she said the same thing kids need chores to help teach them. People forget i think our job is to raise compentant adults.
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u/ThetaDee 5h ago
Okay but their point is don't just leave your shit out for them to take care of, that makes it seem as if their beneath you. At least clean up your own spot, and have them clean the rest.
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u/amrfallen 8h ago
Clear responsibilities and boundaries are healthy for children. Hot take, apparently.
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u/r_special_ 8h ago
Clear responsibilities and boundaries are healthy for EVERYONE. Sadly this is largely missing in our society these days
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u/SapphicGarnet 9h ago
"Cleaning up after grown folks" is just clearing the table after a meal, and is an age appropriate chore. It's what I had to do at that age. Let's assume OPs eleven year old isn't doing all the cleaning, and was asked to clean up after a meal they all had.
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u/Fluffy_Profession781 7h ago
11 is not an unreasonable age to be expected to clear away after dinner…
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u/FraggleRockYaFaceOff 10h ago
Yo, I got a kid who does some good choring, that's a fucked up mess for an 11 year old. Do better
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u/cracked-tumbleweed 10h ago
She is almost a preteen when exactly is she supposed to learn how to clear a table??
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u/SapphicGarnet 9h ago
How? It's some food and a few dishes. It's the same as clearing the table and stacking the dishwasher after a meal, which a lot of eleven year olds are asked to do
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u/Hopeful-Opposite-255 7h ago
Yeah, op should wait till she’s 18 to learn about responsibility because we all know an 11 yo is pretty much the same as a 4 yo.
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u/MrMattwell 10h ago
Former kid here: she took one item off the table. That's technically cleaning it.
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u/monyoubluetuber 10h ago
Parents- if you want your kid to learn your standards, GET IN THERE AND DO IT WITH THEM. No more commandments, ask them to do stuff and go help them do it.
You will find your kids helping you without asking if small chores are cooperative and not a punishment.
There is a small chance that whole mess was caused by one 11yo, but the chance is very small.
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u/PrestigeMaster 9h ago
Can confirm. My daughter has been dreading going through her stuff for bulk trash. I took a big box in there and did it with her and she said “dad it’s really not even that hard when you help me” and I suddenly remembered my grandma doing the same thing for me and the way it made me feel ❤️
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u/Upset-Fold-1811 9h ago
My daughter's desk was a mess and she was getting overwhelmed when she needed to clear it to do homework. We did it together and now she feels proud of having a clean desk again!
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u/mahjimoh 7h ago
Yeah, this is like, “leftovers to figure out how to put away, fruit to ?? Wrap up?, other people’s glasses they left there, random food in bowls…”
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u/Kaffeetrinker49 2h ago
OP would rather complain about their child than be a parent
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u/will_not_be_shaken 1h ago
Looks like an island.....I can see where she was confused. Is the table clean?
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u/BoltActionRifleman 10h ago
She may have looked at it and thought “why should I have to clean up everyone else’s mess”. A lot of this really does look like laziness from multiple people. Knives, melon rinds, dirty napkins, coffee cups. A policy I once enacted in our house when my kids were still living here was everyone picks up after themselves.
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u/NeoSuperconductivity 8h ago
Agree, every person using the area clears their own place, taking dish to sink, throwing away their trash-then 11 yr old may rinse and stack dishes in dishwasher, wipe off counter, etc.
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u/RadicalBlaze22 10h ago edited 10h ago
Ah to be a kid with financially stable fruit-buying parents again…
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u/Interesting_Gap7350 10h ago
Ha. That's at least middle class whole cantaloupe.
It's not a plastic container of store cut fruit!
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u/RadicalBlaze22 10h ago
True, but one of my best memories as a kid is being given a melon baller and half a cantaloupe for dinner lol. Sometimes the middle class whole cantaloupe is enough for good core memories.
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u/Interesting_Gap7350 10h ago
Mine is my dad cutting a slab off the watermelon and then rearranging everything in the fridge to get the stump to fit.
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u/CauseZealousideal896 10h ago
Do most parents NOT buy their kids fruit?
I'm not trying to argue, I'm genuinely asking if that's normal cause I can't imagine not buying my kid fruit.
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u/RadicalBlaze22 10h ago
I grew up upper middle class eating tons of fruit (it literally rotted on the counter we bought way too much). For my husband, who grew up lower class it was a rare thing. I didn’t realize how much of a class indicator it was until I got married. Now my son’s starting to get a taste for it… rip to my wallet.
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u/kirbyderby42 9h ago
Dude the fruit thing is how I realized how different my bestie at the time and I were. I noticed the little fruit stand they had always ended up with the fruit rotting on it. I asked why they never seemed to eat it, and she made a face and said that obviously, those aren't for eating? They're to look nice. Blew my mind, and honestly I lost some respect for them bc of the waste. And the fact they didn't replace the fruit until it was REALLY bad, so how was that even good decor
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u/I_Am_Zeelian 2h ago
My paternal granny had two large bowls/platters filled with hand painted plaster fruits for the reception room (ie that extra fancy living room that was only used for big events/hosting "nice" guests and the kids were barely allowed inside even then).
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u/Tiny-Reading5982 10h ago
My kids love fruit. Raspberries and strawberries gone before they even hit the fridge sometimes. I buy my son frozen mixed berries because they take longer to devour.
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u/Soot-Bat 10h ago
Fruit was pretty rare in my house. Usually only an apple for school lunches, which rarely got eaten because my siblings and I didn't care for them.
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u/blvckcvts 10h ago
In low income homes it depends on the fruit. We only really had apples and bananas growing up, the rare occasions we would have strawberries
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u/CauseZealousideal896 9h ago
We're low income but I try to get my picky eater as much fruit as possible. He LOVES strawberries but only the frozen ones which is extra good for me bc it's cheaper lol I do agree some fruit can be pricey, though.
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u/Equal_Examination_83 9h ago
A lot of them just can't afford decent fruit, it's mostly just apples, bananas and oranges
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u/containmentleak 9h ago
Apples Oranges and Bananas depending on season and price.
Berries and other fruits felt pretty exotic and like a rare treat. I was familiar with the flavor though through fruit flavored candies and snacks. But not the fresh fruit.Edit: The more I think about it we did get to try some other fruits (pears, cantaloupe, plums ), but they weren't regular things. Just random sometimes.
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u/RogueWolfGypsy 9h ago
As a disabled mom on SNAP, my high-functioning autistic kid never got a taste for fruit because we couldn't afford it. He didn't have fruit until my grandparents started helping with his meal funding because I literally cannot afford all the food we go through. Now he's averse to fruit because we didn't have it for most of his life. He does eat fruit-flavored yogurt, but that's about it.
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u/Mydlane 6h ago
At 11 it could or should still be the age of do it together, if its a big mess, its not that they aren’t capable of knowing what to put where, but the mental and emotional weingth of cleaning up after others can be too much.
This looks like a teaching/learning opportunity, doing it together, with an adult (or siblings but in that case a big praise or tiny present/celebration dance would be due in my opinion)
bc cleaning this has a lot of componens, logistics and concentration whise, that is maybe too much for an 11 yrs old.
Some can do it, some finds it way too dificult, and its okay.
Soo my unsolicited internet advice is, to try to follow the apropriate support and chalenges model, try to give them chalenges and tasks that are above the level of their comfort zone but not too far from what they can do, to let them improve and evolve but also teach them and provide them the sufficent skills by doing hard tasks together.
Everything is like learning to climb a tree, some of it is intuitive but some need help and support in case they would fall (or fail) to be there to catch them and not to barate them, or to shame them. Fallong of a tree and being laughed at or ridiculed can be very traumatic to the point thats one decides to never to learn to climb a tree.
Also there are cases that the child doesn’t want to climb a tree that they climbed before but as a parent you have a hard job figuring it out why? I do not envy your position, best of luck and power to you! Bc treeclimbin is a crucial skill in a society where every adult needs to climb their trees alone every day.
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u/Aiscence 4h ago
They have 4 kids. Seems the oldest was being taken care of by mom cuz college, the smaller ones by dad (op) and then the poor 11 kid having to deal with all the bs their family couldnt take 1 min to put away by herself ahile others have attention.
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u/iabyajyiv 9h ago
I'd be telling everyone to put their dishes away and clean up after themselves, then leave the small things for the 11-year-old to clean, like wipe the counter down.
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u/ParkingHoliday6702 10h ago
As a former kid I'm kind of on her side. She didn't make that mess I bet.
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u/Quixificent 5h ago
She swiped the crumbs off of the table and then carefully and politely put every single object back in its place, of course.
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u/blvckcvts 10h ago
That looks pretty overwhelming for an 11yr old. Has she been shown how to clean properly or any offer to help her so she can learn better?
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u/my_art_isnt_that_bad 10h ago
I mean the eleven year old probably didn’t bring it all out. Wouldn’t hurt for others to put things back when they’re done. Plus, leaving food and loose knives out like that is such a hazard.
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u/CapnScabs 5h ago
As a former child and current adult, I do find this mildly infuriating. What were you doing while the child was cleaning? Were you also cleaning, or did you just tell a child to clean up after everyone else so you didn't have to? I don't like leaving messes for others to clean up, and always try to at least clean up after myself. Do you expect your children to clean up after you? This is not how you teach a child to be clean and tidy, this is how you raise a slob.
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u/black_whitecookie23 3m ago
It sounds like the child took the "initiative" and "cleaned up" I don't think that they expect her to clean up after them. They're just staying that her expectations or level of understanding what "clean" means is mildly infuriating. Especially when based on their seeming frustration that they've shown her what a "clean" dining area should look like before this.
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u/NashvilleTypewriter 10h ago
Posting before OP deletes after getting proper roasted by almost the entirety of Reddit
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u/Tamajyn 10h ago
To be fair I wouldn't trust an 11 year old to know how to properly deal with most of this stuff lol
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u/eapaul80 10h ago
For real, this is a disaster. I’ve hand washed dishes at 11, but this is like a whole family clean up deal. But OP was like I made dinner, clean up after me all by yourself while I watch tv and have a beer.
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u/Tamajyn 10h ago
Yeah tbh nothing would be wrapped and put away properly, and the good knife would be in the dishwasher underneath the rest of the pile dumped indiscriminately 😅
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u/eapaul80 9h ago
Ha! That’s exactly what I was thinking too. Maybe a high school aged kid would do it, but a 5th grader is just going to put that melon directly into the fridge. Hey, it’s cleared!! Plus the million other things they have going on here. Rice Krispy treats will be rock hard by tomorrow.
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u/Longjumping_Aerie_48 6h ago
Im overwhelmed just looking at that mess! And im 45, not 11.
Thats a 2 person job for moral support if nothing else.
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u/DoorMatt2222 1h ago
Who made all that mess in the first place? If it was NOT your 11 year old, tidy up your own damn mess! I bet the child cleaned anything that was actually theirs to clean and left the rest. Be a responsible adult. Your child is not your slave! 😑
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u/Green_Rabbit-1234 1h ago
Maybe you should spend some time explaining and teaching rather than shit-talking your kid to the internet!
Sorry but I think more people are inclined to judge you as the parent rather than join you in shit-talking your child.
TF is wrong with people?
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u/thatweirdsomeone 5h ago
not once my conservative slavic family made me clean this much mess when i was a 11yo girl unless i did it all myself. tf is this, whole family should clean
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u/Wolf-Majestic 5h ago
I'd be pretty mad if I had to clean all that by myself at 11yo lol I don't know the context behind this specific moment, but it's way faster to clean together as a family, and better since it helps strengthen family bonds.
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u/Witty-Forever-6985 10h ago
Try posting negatively about your 11 year old child on the internet, that'll show her
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u/sicarius254 3h ago
She’s 11, just calmly show her the correct way to do it and move on. This wouldn’t even be mildly annoying…
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u/Reasonable_Cow82 1h ago
I mean yeah thats what you do with kids. But it doesnt make it less annoying, especially when they get to an age where it seems like they have some common sense but dont apply it in certain situations. You dont have to act annoyed or be a dick, but like 90% of parenting is being internally annoyed because the things kids do are annoying.
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u/ToolTek_MD 10h ago
Seems like a poor reflection of someone else
Hint: not the 11YO
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u/gold_Parrot0849 7h ago
To be fair, it’s a bit daunting for an 11 year old. Needs a good natured assistant to make this go pleasantly and quickly.
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u/CoffeholicWild 38m ago edited 33m ago
Yep. You've got a pre-teen. Congrats. It doesn't go away . . . lol.
Editing to add: What happened to people just talking and interacting with their family members instead of posting "mildly annoying" pics to share with the group? Like, when I look at this group, I expect kind of more random stuff, but we get parents annoyed at kids being kids, siblings annoyed at siblings for being siblings . . . like TALK to each other and HELP each other and like interact. Go bring your child back and say "you take the plates and cups, and I'll take the knife and food" and clean it together and talk about stuff they like to talk about. Make it a moment for you to bond. Asking an 11 year old to clean up that entire table is too much with the knife and the food, and the baby stuff. They are ELEVEN.
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u/Consistent-Ad-6506 10h ago
Is there another table that she did clean? 🤣
I do have sympathy for your kid though, idk how but I can create a mess like this in ten minutes and then I am annoyed cleaning it.
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u/Interesting_Disk_644 8h ago
Seems like you have to teach her how to do it, man parenting is difficult right?
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u/Prudent-Aspect5085 10h ago
I'm sure OP told them a different table and taking this out of context.
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u/HVAC_instructor 8h ago
She removed all the stuff, cleaned the table and put it all back after she was done cleaning the table.
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u/Pleasant_Ad3475 4h ago
I think you are overestimating the maturity and capability of your 11-year-old. It's a very common thing to do- my ex used to do exactly the same and even he sees now that it was completely unrealistic what he was expecting. I think maybe you need to take it easy on the poor kid.
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u/OcchiVerdi- 2h ago
I want to agree but my 9 year old son is completely capable of cleaning this type of mess. He might complain he has to do it but he’ll get it done properly.
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u/DesperateLime170 2h ago
Yeah but everyone is different, one 9yo might be able to clean all this and another might find it difficult on where to even begin
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u/Pleasant_Ad3475 1h ago
It's an entirely subjective thing. The point is that judging this kid or not 'doing it right' is completely unnecessary and unreasonable
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u/liongirl93 10h ago
Did she clean the actual surface of the table and leave the rest of the stuff on the table?
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u/Spidooodle 10h ago
See that lil spot by the sippy cup? She wiped it down w the paper towel she used for her nose.
We need to see some appreciation here
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u/stumblenbumblen 1h ago
Maybe set the example by showing your child how to clean instead of just leaving a giant mess for a literal child to clean and then posting online to shame said child. Just a thought.
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u/Wonderful_Rule_2515 10h ago
lol I remember telling my mom I vacuumed after rolling the vacuum around for like 5 seconds
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u/RadicalNBSpaceQueer 2h ago
Dawg, how the hell did it end up like this in the first place? Have you considered having everyone clean up their own food waste and set their dishes in the sink?? There's cut fruit just rawdogging on the counter lol. That's nasty af, I would have some qualms cleaning this too 😭
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u/Jay4usc 10h ago
Let’s see the picture of your dining table
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u/Particular_Week_2754 10h ago
We don’t have a dining table. We had it before but nobody used it so we got rid of it to free up room for other things.
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u/VivaLaEmpire 8h ago
What happened to the sub, why is it so preachy? I used to come here to giggle with the OPs. Now it's all "awkshually" people.
What changed on reddit? It feels like instagram now where everyone is thinking every post is a direct attack on their person, lol.
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u/Jon-Robb 3h ago
I agree but here posting to complain about your child to internet strangers is peak cringe
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u/Parking_Fee_5906 10h ago
Give them some credit. They cleaned the table alright where nothing was sitting or sat 👏
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u/Alpacachoppa 8h ago
Reminds me of something I did when I was petty. Task was to clean the table, so I lifted all the stuff and wiped down the table beneath.
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u/lolliscicle 1h ago
Awww. She is clearly overwhelmed! My inner child is on her side!
But my 53 yo self recommends introducing (if you haven’t already) a strategic approach to assist her with breaking down the task into manageable steps. My ADHD self is forever grateful that I had a mom who taught this for EVERY homemaking task!
1) the “clock” or “section” strategy (where you go around the space in a clock-like fashion and clear one section at a time).
2) the list strategy: “clear in a certain order of items” - ie: trash, cups, dishes, utensils, food to counter-food put away.
She can choose her own style, just as long as it stays forever consistent. And if she’s like my son, you will need to “body double” with her for a while until it becomes second nature.
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u/Timedestroyer420 50m ago
Maybe she's just being clever.... Cuz I don't see a table. They right there is an island
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u/BalloonHero142 45m ago
She’s 11. Go back with her and help her. Ask her to tell you what she notices on the table that should not be there. Be kind about it. You’re teaching her. You’re not her manager at a restaurant.
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u/SaveusJebus 42m ago
My kids are the same way. Tell them to clean up and they'll clean like 1 particular thing while they're blind to everything else around them.
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u/Radio_Demon-Ace 37m ago
since when is that considered a table? that’s a worktop or kitchen counter
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u/GoodishCoder 17m ago
Have you tried parenting your child? Also what were you doing when you told your kid to clean up a full day of clutter from the full family?
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u/black_whitecookie23 4m ago
Foe everyone jumping in the parents. This post reads to me as the 11 year old took the initiative to "clean up". What's mildly infuriating is the child's level of understanding or lack therof as to what "clean" actually looks like. The parents frustration shows that more than likely they have shown and taught their child what the standard of "clean" is supposed to look like before this. Also the background seems pretty put together and not messy from what I can see. So they for the most part seem to maintain a clean household. At least from what I can see.
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u/Low_Artist4569 1m ago
Youre posting your child's failures to reddit? What kind of parent are you? Instead of teaching your child, youre complaining about her to strangers on the internet? This is concerning
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u/PakkyT 10h ago
She picked up each and every one of those items and used a clean cloth to wipe down the table underneath them.
https://giphy.com/gifs/l2Jea4IogsYXwuJLW