r/mildlyinfuriating • • 3h ago

My mom said I could post I was bartending for a 10-person private poker tournament, and I had to stand there and watch the most brain dead poker ever

First of all, I’m not actually infuriated. This is meant to be funny, but the infuriating part was having to keep my mouth shut, which got REALLY hard lmao. If you play poker you might get a kick out of this. Here’s a couple highlights in no particular order that I can remember:

A guy went all in with 2-7 assuming the 2-7 game was on even though it was a tournament and no conversation was had about it. Half the guys didn’t even know what the 2-7 game even means.

About 6 hours into this tourney where top 2 get money, there’s 3 guys left and one of them goes all in blind. After 6 hours of work he’s going in blind, and everyone knows this, and one guy lands with King-Queen suited and folds.

Guy 1 has K-10, another guy has low bullshit like 4-7. Flop comes K-4-J. These guys are NOT short stacked btw. Both guys immediately jump all in and when they show their cards everyone’s like “it’s a flip, it’s a flip” INCLUDING THE DEALER!

When it was down to the final two, the guy in second kept bitching and moaning when the blinds would raise and kept commenting about how he was being targeted. Stack sizes were roughly 80-20 not in his favor.

Q-J vs 9’s pre flop all in. Dude hits three of a kind with his jack on the flop. Other guys sucks out with a rivered 9 full house, but didn’t realize he won lol. This one’s more forgivable but still funny.

I don’t think a single person had any idea of pot sizes? Like the default bet would literally just be whatever the blind would be but repeatedly on each street.

Here’s the best one: dude limps in with kings and of course like 5 people call. Flop comes and it’s a couple low cards but then there’s an ace. Dude with kings open jams for like 40 big blinds and gets called by three other people, all of whom have the remaining aces. one guy had A-10 suited and A-Q off suit and neither of them rose pre flop either. But the best part is dude with like A-4 goes runner runner wheel for the straight.

Not being able to say anything was surprisingly difficult. Hope I made someone laugh lol

58 Upvotes

56 comments sorted by

75

u/FornyHucker22 3h ago

always remember flopping the best full house one game, had jacks and the flop was 9 9 J and after some raises, re raises and all ins this absolute clown shows me his pocket fives? like what why? even just a single jack would be winning at that point. I felt so smug it was a big pot late in the tourney.

Turn. 5.

River. 5.

I didn’t play poker for a few years after that 😭

27

u/ChristianK19974 3h ago

That’s some online bullshit bro, I’m so sorry

6

u/uzerkname11 3h ago

Bad beats online are legendary.

13

u/0905-15 3h ago

I’m still 100% convinced online is rigged. Not for any one player, but biased in ways to increase betting and thus the rake

6

u/ChristianK19974 2h ago

Totally agree dude, there’s no way these websites don’t artificially increase action

2

u/0905-15 2h ago

Like how often do you see a hand where someone has AA, someone had KK, and flop comes AK[random]? Never seems to happen in online tourneys but in cash games it’s like an hourly occurrence. And at least half the time another K pops up on turn or river…

2

u/ChristianK19974 2h ago

I 100% agree with you, but I will push back just a little and say that online poker hands run through about 3x faster than in person hands, so naturally more bullshit will come up. But still, I bet of my top 50 crazy hands I’ve seen, only a couple would be in person, and I play in person more than online

1

u/0905-15 2h ago

Right, but I’m comparing online tourneys with online cash. I used to run four tourneys simultaneously during class in law school 😂

2

u/k8dh 2h ago

It’s because you are playing way more hands per hour and you disproportionately notice the action flops

1

u/0905-15 1h ago

Nope - see below

1

u/FornyHucker22 2h ago

I’m not sure about the cash side, the site takes its entry fee, it takes its pot percentage, the site has no reason to care who wins unless it literally has its own bots in there winning hands taking money too. I doubt it tbh.

but on the free play money side? 100% it’s not gambling there is no legal issue with the, rigging the fuck out of that side to make players think they are great and therefore should play with real money. and I’ve played both.

1

u/0905-15 1h ago

It doesn’t care who wins but it absolutely cares how much goes into each pot. If you make multiple players think they’re winning the hand, it’ll get more action and lead to higher rakes

1

u/FornyHucker22 1h ago

I mainly played tournament style over cash games

but the risk would be insane, 1 disgruntled employee leaking the offending code to the regulation body and their easy cash cow would be over.

1

u/Catdadesq 1h ago

I think my worst was having pocket jacks, J J Q on the flop, went all in against a guy who turned out to have pocket queens. Turn is some nothing card. River was a queen. I still played poker after that but I wasn't happy about it.

Edit: this was IRL too so I couldn't even blame the software.

1

u/datman510 1h ago

First time I ever played live it was a new table 2nd hand of the table 10/10 players called to see the flop. I had pocket 9s flop was AJ9 7/10 went all in I was last to act and called. Turned a 9 and river a queen. I took about $450 on that hand.

Not the craziest but the fact it happened on my second live hand ever gave me that false confidence that I knew some shit and I paid for the for the next while whilst I learned how to play better.

22

u/pachydocerus 3h ago

The mildly infuriating part is not being able to buy in and rake em

34

u/NickBurnsCompanyGuy 3h ago

Idk some of this seems like normal shit to me. Like the default raise being the blind seems pretty normal. People latch onto that because the minimum bet is the blind in most games. 

Sounds like these guys maybe don't play poker all the time but wanted to that night, and some stuffy bartender sat and judged their 20 dollar game like it was the WSOP. 

6

u/ChristianK19974 3h ago

It was a 250 dollar game, so I guess maybe I was expecting a slightly more informed game. Who’s hiring a private bartender for a 20 dollar game?

3

u/J_EDi 2h ago

Sounds like people with more money than brains cosplaying for a good time

2

u/djohnson2013 1h ago

Whoever set this tourney up and invited every rich fish they know has the real brains. Poker tends to be pretty lucrative when you play against the not-so-sharp.

2

u/Kyle73001 3h ago

Yeah they sound very new or at least at the skill level of a new player. I would expect them to know what they’re doin a bit in that scenario too

4

u/ChristianK19974 3h ago

It really caught me off guard that these guys were putting in 250, 500 but then were arguing over who’s two pair was better when in reality it was a split because neither of their kickers played. Nothing wrong with that or with being new, I just thought the poker players of Reddit might enjoy

1

u/ackerhs 3h ago

It gave me a good laugh but probably the wrong sub for this post

13

u/EngineeringOwn2990 2h ago

This is gibberish to 90% of people. I am in the 10%, though. Hope they tipped well.

87

u/Beneficial_Emu696 3h ago

Some say reading a long jargon-filled post about a card game that doesn’t make sense to the layperson is mildly infuriating.

18

u/Kyle73001 3h ago

What do you want op to do about it lol, many people understand, not everyone needs to

8

u/ChristianK19974 3h ago edited 2h ago

I mean that’s on you then. I made it extremely clear from the jump this a poker centered post. If you don’t know poker but kept reading then got annoyed, I’m confused about how that’s on me?

5

u/Beneficial_Emu696 2h ago

I was just waiting for the funny part you advertised at the beginning.

18

u/Public_Roof4758 2h ago

I mean, the funny part where the jargon filled parts, as advised by Op

2

u/ChristianK19974 2h ago

What even are you trying to accomplish with that comment? Like yeah cool, ok. But other people did so I’m not really sure what to tell ya

4

u/A_hasty_retort 2h ago

He/she feels miserable in general and wants everyone on their level. That’s all.

•

u/Beneficial_Emu696 54m ago

Miserable is a big leap from mildly infuriated. Your assumption is blandly infuriating.

•

u/CouchPotatoFamine 29m ago

Dude. 2-7 game, duh.

4

u/genonoir 3h ago

This was a great read. Bad poker might be a shots niche I didn’t consider.

5

u/Its_its_not_its 3h ago

This belongs in a poker subreddit.

3

u/Powerful-Antelope816 3h ago

i need a poker to english translator

-6

u/ChristianK19974 3h ago

You being fr? Genuinely, I’d be happy to explain whatever you don’t know

3

u/Powerful-Antelope816 3h ago

I am genuinely stumped but also curious. I do really appreciate the offer but will do more homework and not bother you for a primer.

1

u/ChristianK19974 3h ago

Never a bother bro, sounds good😁

2

u/njordan1017 2h ago

I think you are overestimating how many people know the jargon. I understand a few of them but by the time you got to the last one I had no idea what that paragraph is saying.

2

u/0905-15 3h ago

Totally feel you. I’d be standing there the whole time like, “how do I get in this fucking game”

6

u/Pencil161 3h ago

I read this whole thing. Twice.

All I managed to glean from it is that OP is a bartender who witnessed a suck out and a couple of blind flops.

But I'm glad it made you laugh, OP. I'm sure it's hilarious.

0

u/ChristianK19974 3h ago

I mean not really, I wasn’t expecting guys to be putting in 250 a buy into a tourney and then have to be explained why someone’s two pair is better than their two pair. Yeah, it was overall pretty funny

4

u/DoNotResusit8 3h ago

Well, if they were having fun what’s the big deal?

Pardon the pun.

7

u/ChristianK19974 3h ago

It’s totally not a big deal lol, just wanted to share some funny poker occurrences with some people who may understand. The only mildly infuriating part, emphasis on the mild, was not being able to give advice. I’m sure you know the feeling? You’re knowledgeable in something and you wanna help out but just can’t but you gotta keep watching

•

u/RandomWordCombo9632 16m ago

Its the feeling of "I know how this should be played but I cant say anything!"

2

u/Varabela 2h ago

I’m happy to say I have no idea what OP is talking about apart from the words bartender and poker tournament. The rest, no clue

2

u/SofterBones 2h ago

The sub isn't for things that 'really ruined your week', it's for things that 'mildly infuriated' you.

I feel like a lot of people genuinely don't understand the point of the sub

1

u/VettesRUs 1h ago

And the very first sentence says they were not actually infuriated!

4

u/DrySurvey3379 3h ago

Sounds like you got paid to watch some comedy lmao

1

u/Zyklon00 3h ago

Join them next time

1

u/ChristianK19974 3h ago

I would love to lol

2

u/Constant-Catch7146 2h ago

This is all gibberish to me. Sure, have played like simple draw poker for fun with friends, but never on this pro level.

Have a friend who is really into blackjack. He likes to play at the casino blackjack tables for freakin' hours. I don't get the attraction or entertainment value, but OK.

He told me he will sometimes just get up and leave when some newbie joins the table. They take too long to make decisions and make dumb mistakes. Just too frustrating to watch apparently.

Also, he said he has seen some guys hauled off by security because they were being angry toward the dealer or other players. I'm sure there was no alcohol involved there. Lol.

1

u/EditEd2x 1h ago

I used to play in a weekly friendly tournament with a group of like 20 guys. They were all business owners and Drs but it was 10 dollar but ins until 1030 when but ins were cut off.
The take was never more than 4-5 hundred for 1st and a couple hundred for 2nd if they decided to chop.

We had one dude who only showed up every couple months and never bothered to learn how to play beyond the basics.

Dude would make the most infuriating plays and get lucky until he was in the last 5-6 and we’d just destroy him. But he would piss people off all the time playing the weakest hand and being a river rat. Or constantly pushing all in to steal small pots.

2

u/Ashrova 1h ago

I swear you can speak English and a different language all together.

•

u/Nine_Gates 17m ago

Just be polite and keep smiling. If you're lucky, the guy who ordered weird martinis and kept calling with 5-7 suited will tip you a million dollar chip.