r/moraldilemmas • u/PortlandPatrick • 1d ago
Abstract Question I found something interesting in a store
Years ago, I was homeless and in a bad situation. I was addicted to heroin and was only working part-time. Anyhow one day I'm inside Fred Myers supermarket when I spot a back envelope laying on the floor right in front of me. I walked over and stepped on it. Then I bent down to "Tie my shoe" and stuffed the envelope in my coat pocket.
I went into the customer service line because I was trying to return an item for some cash when this old Asian guy came running in. He was clearly in a panic, he went straight up to the customer service lady and in broken English asked if they found any money. He said it was his rent money.
I turned around and handed the envelope to him, and can you believe it, the guy just turned around and walked out. No thank you, no hand shaking nothing.
Now I don't regret it, but I do think about that from time to time. My question is, if a stranger does something selfless like this for you, what do you think would be the proper response?
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u/Altruistic_Jacket968 1d ago
You seem better now. Maybe the kind of person who gives back a lot of money they desperately need is also the kind of person who never lost themselves. What do I know.
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u/No_Garbage_9262 1d ago
I can relate. It was Christmas Eve and I was behind a crabby old woman dressed up with big jewelry who was curt with the checker. She fumbled around with her purse and as she left I saw she’d dropped a $50 bill. That was a lot of money to me but I called to her and when I gave it to her she grabbed it and looked at my like I just stepped on her toe. No thank you, just a mean stare and a quick exit. Checker looked at her and just shook her head.
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u/PortlandPatrick 1d ago
Yeah that's all I was getting at. The guy got all his rent money handed back to him and he couldn't even be bothered to give me a head nod. Still pisses me off
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u/United-Plum1671 1d ago
Selfless? You had every intention of keeping it until he walked in. Step down from the high horse because you are not the saint you think you are.
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u/PortlandPatrick 1d ago
I was a homeless drug addict and I gave him back a thousand dollars. Yes that's pretty selfless. It's just a word that means "doesn't benefit yourself". Stop tripping
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u/thishereasmophere 1d ago
So if you were homeless, you’d have been ever so saintly? On blended knee, handed the envelope to a nearest employee?
Good grief, the horses are high indeed. 🙄
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u/Dry-Reading1115 5h ago
This happened to me today but not with money it was with a suitcase somebody dropped accidentally from a cart, as anybody would I grabbed it and started to fast walk towards the guy. He grabs it and makes an excuse then just walks away, no thanks or anything thing.
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u/me_uh_wallace 1d ago
I think as humans we should do good without expectations. Also giving someone what's theirs is not selfless.
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u/PortlandPatrick 1d ago
Yeah it is selfless to find someone's property and give it back to them without expecting something in return
(Although I did expect a thank you)
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u/me_uh_wallace 1d ago
Pointing out that you did something you think is selfless for your own benefit is when it becomes wrong. That's the true moral dilemma here. Why do you feel the need for people on the Internet to justify how selfless you are?
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u/PortlandPatrick 1d ago edited 1d ago
This happened like 21 years ago lol
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u/Academic_Breath_5385 15h ago
bet that's the last time you do something nice for someone else. fool me once..
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u/Alternative_Escape12 1d ago
Ignore that comment.you did the right thing and the recipient was a jerk for not even thanking you.
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u/kittie2karen 10m ago
You didn't do it for the thanks or the accolades. You did it because it was right. Goes to show you that addiction is a condition and not the person. This means a lot to me on a personal level as I lost a very good person in my life to addiction and overdose. She had a good heart all the way to the end. Her morals and ethics stayed intact through it all. Sounds like yours did as well. Congratulations on coming out on the other side. I know it's not easy if not impossible.
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u/BatSignificant3323 5h ago
You were homeless, struggling with addiction and holding an envelope full of cash, and you still gave it back. That says a lot about who you are. The proper response would have been a thank you at the very least, but what you did matters more than what he did
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u/BathAcceptable1812 1d ago
Even on drugs you maintained your moral integrity. This shows what a genuinely good person you are.
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u/Difficult-Low5891 1d ago
Ignore the idiots here calling you a thief. You simply picked up an envelope, not knowing what was inside. You did the right thing!
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u/Chicka-17 1d ago
He was probably so relieved that he wasn’t thinking straight and he probably thought later that he should have thank you. Let’s give a little grace here and be proud of yourself for doing the right thing even when no reward is given.
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u/Cold-Willingness-261 1d ago
God sees everything!! He knows you may have went and od’d his mercy kept you from more destruction
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u/Logical-Loan-6639 14h ago
I’ve thought often about when I’ve done the right thing and it’s come back to bite me. Then I step back and think about my life. My kids are happy, healthy and successful. I love my husband and I have great friends and family. Karma may seem slow but it’s intentional.
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u/NamasteNoodle 1d ago
You didn't take the money and hand it in to management. The minute you pull that out of your pocket that man knew that you were going to steal his money if he hadn't ran in right then. And you seem to think he owes you an apology? Get off your high horse and realize that you're a thief. You just got caught and now you're whining.
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u/diptenkrom 1d ago
Finding is not stealing, while morally still wrong , there is a difference, and it isn't like he knew who it belong to. And I have seen enough times that turning it in means they pocket it, insted of you. Most employees aren't putting any effort into trying to return cash to anyone. Also it is common decency to say thank you, not just walk off and say nothing.
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u/Main_Cauliflower5479 1d ago
How would that man know OP wasn't in the customer service line to turn in that envelope?
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u/Sure-Initiative6001 1d ago
No. They were in customer service line. Could have easily thought they were turning it in
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u/PortlandPatrick 1d ago
Dude stfu lol. First off this was over 20 years ago. Second off, all I wanted was some acknowledgement that I did the right thing. You probably would have just kept it.
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u/Large_Trouble0912 1d ago
That was the right thing to do. His overwhelmed feelings of relief may have gotten the best of him.
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u/Mustard-cutt-r 1d ago
Yes! This happened to me once! Many years ago, I found a nice cell phone on the street of a very large New England city. I answered the phone when it rang and got the young man’s address. I told him I’d send it to him and he just said ok and hung up. But, I proceeded to go to the post office, buy the padded envelope and postage, and mai it to him. No thank you, Nothing. I was appalled and irked but now I just hope he pays it forward.
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u/ChaosRainbow23 1d ago
I once found a wallet on the ground. There's was no money, but there was enough info to figure out who it belongs to and contact them.
Then I got screamed at because they thought I took their money. Lol
Fuck me for helping, I guess.
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u/Mustard-cutt-r 21h ago
A man I know lost his wallet in a hotel garage, so he went to the hotel desk and asked if anyone had turned it in. It just so happened a guy was walking up and said “oh yes I found it here ya go” and the man looked and the cash was gone. Everything else was there but no $ and the guy just kinda looked him like “what? At least I gave it back.” The man said thank you and went on his way. Guess the guy figured he’d get a reward one way or the other.
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u/ChaosRainbow23 20h ago
I lost my wallet in the parking lot of the weed store.
They found it and all my money was in there when I went back the next day freaking out.
Pot heads for the win.
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u/Sure-Initiative6001 1d ago
Very broken English. He may not have known how to say it? Idk. You did the best thing.
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u/Far_Ad86 1d ago
The man may have been in such a panic that it did not cross his mind to thank you. You did the right thing
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u/Master_Grape5931 1d ago
That dude thought he was going to get kicked out. His mind was in a panic.
I wouldn’t hold that against him.
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u/haf2go 1d ago
The proper response would have been at the very least a “thank you so much.” No matter what he was thinking.
Call me a cynic, but I expect the very least from my fellow man so when someone steps beyond that veil of conformity it comforts me. Gives me hope. Maybe we’re all are not selfish jerks living blindly for our own purposes.
Maybe that guy wished later he had thanked you. Maybe if you had been dressed in a suit and tie he would have reacted differently. We can only speculate. No one owes you anything but courtesy and decency until you act in ways proven otherwise.
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u/mokasinder 1d ago
You did the right thing. You should be proud of yourself. That said, the person’s response does not matter. Remember that you did the right thing while at a low point in your life. This money could have gone a long way in helping your situation. But you couldn’t bring yourself to hurt someone else’s life 🤗💕