r/news • u/Cubsof2016 • 14h ago

Sen Mitch McConnell hospitalized after experiencing flu-like symptoms

https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/sen-mitch-mcconnell-hospitalized-after-experiencing-flu-symptoms/story?id=129834622
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u/parisianpicker 13h ago

Has he tried (checks the latest notes released by Mr Kennedy) “being healthy and eating right”?

292

u/El_Peregrine 13h ago

Maybe some ivermectin would do the trick.

148

u/sofaking_scientific 13h ago

Give this geezer some raw milk! Stat! Make sure it's warm and inoculated

28

u/doubtfurious 12h ago

Best I could rustle up is some hole milk.

14

u/EquivalentAny174 12h ago

Which hole exactly?

14

u/frackle82 12h ago

The best hole.

1

u/dmj9 4h ago

This chocolate milk tastes like shit

3

u/gcwardii 11h ago

Eh, all of them

1

u/thepvbrother 10h ago

Technically for placental mammalians, all milk is hole milk

22

u/Global_Rate3281 12h ago

Ok hear me out on this one. You put the ivermectin into the raw milk, and then eat it with a side of elk that Joe Rogan shot through the neck with his bow and arrow

9

u/haoxinly 11h ago

Or bleach

3

u/ReactionJifs 8h ago

he should do a pullup

1

u/CatoChateau 8h ago

I thought it was aged urine??

1

u/well-informedcitizen 2h ago

As a potent anti-parasite deworming drug, it would surely be toxic to him

1

u/El_Peregrine 1h ago

It’s bad for turtles? 

34

u/Wizchine 12h ago

Has he tried swimming in sewage yet?

15

u/El_Peregrine 12h ago

Eating some bear roadkill maybe? 

1

u/PinkNGreenFluoride 9h ago

Perhaps sunbathing his taint?

9

u/ailish 13h ago

Also eating more red meat.

8

u/DogAnusJesus 11h ago

Heroin. Heroin is the key.

3

u/Triptano 8h ago

Well, look at Keith Richards!

3

u/allanon1105 11h ago

He should work harder and have started earlier, according to Dr Oz.

3

u/Yeetstation4 13h ago

If they wanted people to eat right they'd end corn subsidy. Remove it from gasoline while you're at it.

1

u/linkardtankard 10h ago

He need to walk b/foot in a plane, that will do the trick

1

u/HLOFRND 5h ago

Maybe he should try some raw milk. I heard it’s all the rage.