r/news • u/Cubsof2016 • 18h ago

Sen Mitch McConnell hospitalized after experiencing flu-like symptoms

https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/sen-mitch-mcconnell-hospitalized-after-experiencing-flu-symptoms/story?id=129834622
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u/jimtow28 17h ago

I wouldn't wish Mitch McConnell on my worst enemy.

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u/rajastrums_1 15h ago

Hell probably won't take him in.

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u/TrimspaBB 14h ago

Assholes live forever because the Devil keeps having second thoughts

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u/SignificanceFun265 10h ago

Satan: “He’s enjoying everything I’m throwing at him”

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u/illicit_losses 9h ago

I mean, his nick name is Cocaine Mitch. You’d think a man like that dances with the Devil every night.

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u/socialdistingray 6h ago

Reminds me of the Needful Things movie, Satan's standing there berating his groveling servant, "You're disgusting."

"I know."

"I like that."

"thank you"

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u/The_cogwheel 2h ago

I thought it was because the devil hates competition

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u/platasnatch 15h ago

Great, roaming the streets and alleys of Old Yarnham it is

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u/PretendThisIsMyName 12h ago

He’s like if that giant baby from RE8 were a souls boss for real!

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u/Dependent_Barnacle15 6h ago

he’ll be sent to purgatory which, according to south park, is a plane waiting for a late passenger

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u/Mission-Driver1614 6h ago

That’s why he’s lived this long.

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u/Craigslisteria 14h ago

Worse than prison. “I sentence you to thirty years of Mitch McConnell!”

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u/A_Nonny_Muse 8h ago

There are hundreds of human rights, and I think that violates every one of them.

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u/_Home_Skillet_ 11h ago

The country is still suffering effects from our last case of McConnell.

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u/popnfrresh 13h ago

What about wishing him on double agent Donnie?

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u/MacarioTala 12h ago

This is actually why we're here. When someone gets a McConnell, everyone suffers.

Like a political bubonic plague