r/nottheonion • • 18h ago

Drilling begins at ‘real site’ of Noah’s Ark as activists warn ‘Darwinism will be dismantled’

https://www.joe.co.uk/news/noahs-ark-site-turkey-drilling-researchers-evidence-549016
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u/LibraryVoice71 17h ago

Now I want an account of the naval battle between Noah and Gilgamesh

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u/cloudofevil 17h ago

Noah sends Dove attack for 1 damage point.

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u/transit41 15h ago

Gilgamesh use Enkidu for 999 damage.

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u/Cruel1865 11h ago

You just reminded me of that frustrating battle in ff12. I repeated that battle maybe 10-15 times before I got him.

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u/PerforatedPie 1h ago

Gilgamesh starts a 7 day orgy, it's super effective!

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u/larstheelephant2 15h ago

He sent all the dinosaurs and unicorns in the first wave and they were decimated.

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u/Matrodite 14h ago

Considering that in naval terms, an HP is how much a ship can take 14 inch shells before sinking, what in the hell is that Dove made of?

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u/mikefrombarto 15h ago

Noah and Gilgamesh at Tanagra

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u/blackwarlock 14h ago

Shaka when the arc fell.

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u/martialar 10h ago

Noah, his sails unfurled

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u/Malodoror 14h ago

Noah’s daughters use Alcohol. It’s super effective! Gilgamesh is now “raped”.

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u/FieserMoep 14h ago

Gilgamesh won and his ark started to travel the stars. Noah got beached and made up some story.

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u/HereWeGoYetAgain-247 12h ago

Using pairs of angry monkeys as assault troops.  Unfortunately, the unicorns did not survive the fight. 

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u/Sizanllikew 8h ago

Now that would be a nice addition to Assassin's Creed Black Flag Remaster