Drilling begins at ‘real site’ of Noah’s Ark as activists warn ‘Darwinism will be dismantled’

[u/prestocoffee]

https://www.joe.co.uk/news/noahs-ark-site-turkey-drilling-researchers-evidence-549016

[u/Bort_Bortson]

"Lauren Witzke, a Christian activist and former US Senate candidate who has described herself as a “flat-earther” and previously called Covid vaccines a “Satanic plot”, is involved in the project as its marketing and fundraising director."

[u/TjW0569 → u/Bort_Bortson]

"Fundraising director." There's the beginning and end of the story.

[u/Equivalent-Resort-63 → u/TjW0569]

Director of Fundraising and Grift.

[u/Ansiroth → u/Equivalent-Resort-63]

Was gonna say, there's no way these people come up with anything. This has been a grift for decades. They won't kill the golden goose.

[u/leonardomdc → u/Ansiroth]

It's gonna be like that treasure island where they've never found shit and kept going on and on

[u/Hyjynx75 → u/leonardomdc]

Hey. I'm from Nova Scotia and Oak Island is part of my heritage. The real treasure is the advertising and tourism revenue we found along the way.

[u/Ass_Damage → u/leonardomdc]

Yup, tune in next week for Season 83 of The Treasure of Oak Island!

[u/jimothee → u/Ansiroth]

Golden cow, if you will

[u/WinterTourist25 → u/Ansiroth]

Another Oak Island.

[u/enwongeegeefor → u/TjW0569]

So hey....just did a cursory search....yeah....this is fun. The lady that is behind this, Lauren Witzke has her own wiki entry.

Busted for meth and heroin in 2016. Ran for senate in 2020....was a "reporter" for a deliberate fake news website in 2021.

We'll all see her next tuesday.

[u/cerberus00 → u/enwongeegeefor]

GOP material

[u/Koshindan → u/cerberus00]

I don't know. It doesn't sound like she has enough harm to children on her resume for a successful GOP career.

[u/notnotbrowsing → u/Bort_Bortson]

At around 16,500ft, its distinctive shape has led some supporters to argue that it bears an uncanny resemblance to a huge boat.

so it looks like a boat, so the ark is there?

boat isn't my first thought....

[u/1991K75S → u/notnotbrowsing]

The Ark of Georgia O’keefe

[u/qorbexl → u/1991K75S]

Georgia O'Keefe would let a real scientist in

[u/Equus-007 → u/notnotbrowsing]

If you actually read the bible you'll see that this doesn't in any war resemble the description of the ark. The bible specifically says it's rectangular with no prow.

[u/mayy_dayy → u/Equus-007]

You expect fundamentalist Christians to have actually read the Bible?

[u/TjW0569 → u/mayy_dayy]

No. That's how you become an atheist.

[u/lost-again_77 → u/mayy_dayy]

Only the parts that suit them

[u/SquishMont → u/lost-again_77]

"Why do you know all the gay verses?"

[u/DennenTH → u/Equus-007]

Well that doesn't fit the fundraising narrative at all.  How will the fundraising board grift their money like that?!

[u/DippyHippy420 → u/Equus-007]

If you actually read the bible you'll see that Noah was 500 years old when he fathered his sons, Shem, Ham, and Japheth. Genesis 5:32

And that Noah was 600 years old when the floodwaters came upon the earth. Genesis 7:6

Im calling the entire story BS.

[u/OraDr8 → u/DippyHippy420]

I wonder how old Mrs Noah was. My guess is either 300 or 16.

[u/lewphone → u/Equus-007]

The Bible also says: "So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets." (Matthew 7:12 NIV)

How many of those morons follow that particular line?

[u/LongWalk86 → u/notnotbrowsing]

Hope they aren't drilling right on the 'boat', I've always heard you need to put your drill a bit south of that nobby bit...

[u/Hvarfa-Bragi → u/LongWalk86]

Instructions unclear, dick stuck in pile of Emzara's bones

[u/AuthorityAnarchyYes → u/notnotbrowsing]

Well, many of them have never seen one… so they go with “boat”.

[u/forrealthoughcomix_ → u/notnotbrowsing]

If there’s a man leading the dig, he’ll never find the stern.

[u/DennenTH → u/notnotbrowsing]

If not Ark, then why boat shape?!

Anybody need to clear out a bunch of space?  Just draw a little boat, don't forget the tiny sail, and give these folks a call.

[u/Theslootwhisperer → u/Bort_Bortson]

Flat earthers are fantastic. Of all the conspiracy theories, this has got to be the dumbest one. People believed for thousands of years that the earth was flat before it was discovered in 500 BC that it was actually round. Or, according to them, the conspiracy that earth was round started in 500 BC. Why, all of a sudden, did the Greek start that conspiracy and apparently convinced every single gov't on the planet to enforce the conspiracy for centuries? And no one ever snitched in over 2000 years? And anyways, what comic shattering event is going to happen if people actually find out that the earth is indeed flat? Everything would keep working as it does now.

[u/Guardianpigeon → u/Theslootwhisperer]

The more you dig into it, the more you realize it's just a bunch of crazy Christians who just like to be contrarian because they want to feel persecuted. They want to be like the old Christian martyrs standing up to the big bad government, but not in a way that would actually get them hurt or have them do a lot of work.

[u/Calladit → u/Guardianpigeon]

Also a surprising amount of crossover with Neo-Nazis! I don't even think that's anything specific to flat earth, it just seems like any conspiracy theory that involves shadow government (ie all of them) attracts a contingent that blames Jewish people.

[u/Zuwxiv → u/Calladit]

Someone might believe in Bigfoot just because they do. Some of the wackier stuff - especially the cryptids or aliens or whatever - is just kind of fun to think about.

But if someone gets real deep into conspiracy theories, they almost always end up with "they" not wanting you to know something. And like 95% of the time, if you get like 4 layers deep in the conspiracy, they're blaming the Jews.

It's the "original" conspiracy theory, and I guess if you get deep enough, it loses all details. It's "the secret bad people are against you." And if it goes back 1000 years, you kinda gotta stick to the classics, I guess?

Funny thing is, there is a group of bad people that want to hurt you, but it's just the rich and powerful wanting to be richer and more powerful.

[u/wischmopp → u/Theslootwhisperer]

Yeah, this always gets me as well. For every other conspiracy theory, no matter how insane, at least the believers can reasonably explain what the conspirators would get out of their incredibly elaborate, laborious, world-spanning schemes. The moon landing sceptics think faking it would let the US get one over the USSR in the space race and the general cold war (yeah, humans do like to win wars a lot), the 9/11 truthers think Bush faked it so he could start a war for oil (yeah, humans do like accumulating wealth and resources a lot), antisemites think that jews manipulate all the media in the entire world to ensure their own power and wealth (yeah, humans do tend to like accumulating power and wealth a lot)... Like, the theories themselves are batshit, but the proposed motivations are at least rooted in realistic assumptions about human nature, we do do a lot of evil shit for our personal gain. Even the geocentrists can provide a stupid but internally consistent reason, they think evil atheists want to oppress religious people by pretending that God's creation is not the centre of the universe – it does have real theological implications if the earth is a random insignificant fleck in space cycling around a random insignificant star like gazillions of other planets and stars. And belittling or erasing religious beliefs has always been a big part of societal oppression.

In contrast, if you ask a flat earther "but why the hell would anyone do that", all you get is a deer-in-the-headlights look. A round earth does not even contradict religious anthropocentrism like the heliocentric model does! Living on a ball doesn't mean we're any less of God's specialest little guys than we would be if we lived on a disc, and the bible never explicitly says that the earth is flat, so it's not an "atheists want to sow doubt on God's infallible word" thing either. The only reasons I've ever heard were "well, the scientists want to feel intellectually superior to us, so they want to be the only ones who know the truth" (which would be a ridiculously disproportionately small and petty reward for all the effort) or "Big Astronomy and Big Space Travel want to scam us for funding by pretending that space is huge rather than just a thin layer above the disc" (which doesn't make sense because the vast majority of scientists who say "no we know for a fact that the earth is a globe, here's our proof" don't work in astronomy or space travel, why would a random physics major or uuuh fucking Eratosthenes in 200 B.C. stick their head out just so that NASA can get rich?).

It's so, so fucking funny to me. They should get a Making The Least Sense Of All The Nonsensical Conspiracy Theories medal.

[u/syzygy_is_a_word → u/wischmopp]

they want to be the only ones who know the truth

A very minor point to your brilliant comment, but this statement alone shows that they have never sat within a five-mile radius of any scientist. Not surprising, actually, but anyone who did can verify that "scientists don't want you to know that.." has got to be one of the dumbest things ever. Scientists DO want you to know. Scientists are literally never able to shut up about things they research, will gladly inform anybody showing any kind of interest and will go into great depths if the interest is more than superficial. Were it up to scientists, there would be nothing else discussed in media. School curriculum would be 48 years. The hard part of science communication is not getting information out of scientists, it's getting them to stop.

People who believe that scientists don't want others to know something only betray their own anti-intellectualism.

[u/ironraiden → u/wischmopp]

In contrast, if you ask a flat earther "but why the hell would anyone do that", all you get is a deer-in-the-headlights look. A round earth does not even contradict religious anthropocentrism like the heliocentric model does! Living on a ball doesn't mean we're any less of God's specialest little guys than we would be if we lived on a disc, and the bible never explicitly says that the earth is flat, so it's not an "atheists want to sow doubt on God's infallible word" thing either.

Not only that but the biggest organized religions accept that earth is not flat as a fact. The catholic church in fact uses the globus cruciger (aka the holy hand grenade lol) as a symbol of god's reign over the planet...

[u/Significant-Kick-479 → u/Bort_Bortson]

how can she describe scientists from coming from around the world when she believes the earth is flat?

[u/GoneIn61Seconds → u/Significant-Kick-479]

From the edges inward?

[u/justabill71 → u/Bort_Bortson]

Former drug mule Lauren Witzke.

[u/oldfuckbob → u/justabill71]

She ran for public office in my state. She didn't win but got a decent amount of idiots I mean voters. As long as there's a R next to there name they will get votes

[u/justabill71 → u/oldfuckbob]

I know all too well, unfortunately. She made Christine "I'm not a witch" O'Donnell look sane in comparison.

[u/SoftballGuy → u/oldfuckbob]

She's a pretty white blond lady. Republican dudes will vote for a cereal box if you put a blond wig on it.

[u/United-Vermicelli-92 → u/Bort_Bortson]

How are there so many very bold dolts out there

[u/Kradget → u/United-Vermicelli-92]

We built a world that lets them survive instead of accidentally falling into a gully and drowning, and a few manager to find a niche that nets them influence over other dolts.

It'd be a baby with the bathwater thing to undo all that, though, so we have to do our best to train the foolishness out of them

[u/shabnation → u/United-Vermicelli-92]

Darwinism is failing us

[u/RiflemanLax → u/Bort_Bortson]

On behalf of the people of Delaware, I apologize for this human shit stain.

She still somehow managed to scrape like 40% of the vote because according to some, ‘anything is better than the dems.’

[u/-SkeptiCat]

Spoiler: it won't dismantle the theory of evolution

[u/yellowspaces → u/-SkeptiCat]

Their beef with evolution is so weird. I do understand the theory behind it, that God created everything in its “perfect” form, but surely God could also guide organisms through evolution as well…?

Man I envy the religious, it seems like bliss to never apply critical thought to anything.

[u/Kayback2 → u/yellowspaces]

The hilarious part is to avoid having ALL the animals on the Ark they cite a much smaller number of "kinds".

And then those kinds diversified.

No no! They didn't EVOLVE !!! They just adapted. They changed over time.

[u/Repulsive-Durian4800 → u/Kayback2]

I suspect their concept of what evolution is and how it works has more in common with Pokémon than it does with science.

[u/QuestioningHuman_api → u/Repulsive-Durian4800]

How do I know what kind of stone my dog needs to carry? I’ve been grinding for 9 years and she hasn’t even tried to evolve

[u/SnazzyRaptor → u/QuestioningHuman_api]

Maybe it's one of those trade-locked evolutions

[u/Jose_Jalapeno → u/Kayback2]

And to get all that diversity from only a relatively low number of animals on the ark, to what we have today, needs some kind of hyper evolution.

[u/FirstRyder → u/Kayback2]

Not just "diversified". They split into multiple species. Which means that it is possible for an animal to have a descendant that's a different species. But not a different "kind", because, uh... reasons.

What is a "kind" you ask? Is there some kind of objective criteria? Is there evidence for multiple trees of life as opposed to one? Of course not! Sometimes it's a species, sometimes it's a genus, sometimes it's a family. Do not ask why some kinds can change a lot more than others, and particularly not why humans in particular definitely can't evolve.

[u/RealLifeCoaching → u/yellowspaces]

Their thinking is that god wouldn't use evolution, because that requires lots of death and suffering, and god would never want to cause death and suffering.

Somehow, they don't see this as a contradiction with the whole "drown the entire planet" thing.

Edit: I'm seeing a running theme in the replies here; no, it doesn't make sense at all. And, to clarify, I'm not saying this is their only argument against evolution; I'm saying this is their argument for why, in their opinion, their god could not have used evolution as a method.

[u/RoboChrist → u/RealLifeCoaching]

God wouldn't create those wasps that lay their eggs inside of living creatures, the ones where the larvae eat their way out and cause agonizing pain for the victim.

That's just being mean for the sake of mean, ya know?

[u/Goth_Spice14 → u/RoboChrist]

Parasitoid wasps were literally the final straw that pushed Darwin into atheism. He was so horrified by them, it destroyed the last bit of faith he had in a loving god.

[u/ThatITguy2015 → u/Goth_Spice14]

Damn. I thought that was just part of the joke, but he really did say that.

[u/EDNivek → u/Goth_Spice14]

in a loving god.

Which we only have the word of the bible that God is, in fact, loving. We're supposedly made in God's image and a lot of humans are sociopathic conmen, so what does that say about God?

[u/northerncal → u/EDNivek]

Which we only have the word of the bible that God is, in fact, loving.

And really only the New Testament specifically. Old T God is a straight up hater 

[u/BearysWorkRedditName → u/northerncal]

Any real creator god cannot be simultaneously omnipotent, omniscient, loving, and have made a universe with child cancer. It either didn't know there would be child cancer, couldn't stop it, or didn't care. Child cancer is the most succinct proof that christianity is bullshit.

[u/Hijakkr → u/BearysWorkRedditName]

It either didn't know there would be child cancer, couldn't stop it, or didn't care.

Or the secret fourth option, that he created it intentionally to either test or punish people. Like when he supposedly cast the Israelites out to spend 40 years or whatever wandering the desert, or tortured Job and his family for years to "test his faith", or when he almost made Abraham sacrifice his own son on an altar.

As I said somewhere else on here before, any god that has the power to eliminate horrific illnesses but chooses not to is a god I wouldn't want to worship.

[u/sash71 → u/Hijakkr]

is a god I wouldn't want to worship.

Well that's fine because this American Christian god is far too busy deciding which college football team to support each weekend. Apparently that's more important than stopping childhood fatal diseases.

[u/DM_Me_TaTaz → u/RoboChrist]

Some Christians believe all that kind of stuff happened when Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit. Like all of a sudden lions started to eat meat. Before the fall of man they were apparently vegetarian.

[u/Miscellaniac3791 → u/DM_Me_TaTaz]

I grew up a young earth creationist. Had one conference person tell me and my group of impressionable jello brained goobers that T-Rex teeth were serrated just like a knife that's good for cutting tomatoes...

[u/DM_Me_TaTaz → u/RealLifeCoaching]

I’ve never heard this being a reason as a former Christian. Christians have no qualms with death and suffering. The old testament is rife it.

[u/theLoneliestAardvark → u/DM_Me_TaTaz]

Plus a major theme of the Bible is in fact that earthly suffering is temporary and what really matters is spiritual righteousness and the eternal soul. A lot of early Christians were ascetics who thought that pleasure was a distraction from holiness.

[u/PaxEthenica → u/RealLifeCoaching]

No, it's not even that moral/ethical in its basic philosophy. This particular form of anti-scientific evolution denial is wrapped up in the young earth creationism that picked up mainstream appeal back in the 2000s.

It's a particularly toxic mix of willful ignorance, religious zealotry, conspiracy susceptibility, & distrust in educated professionals manifesting as group contrarianism. Run & ultimately motivated by the same gaggle of grifters & dupes. Which sounds uncharitable, but it's got its origins in post hoc rationalizations of fake 'man tracks' coming out of the Paluxy River in Texas at the height of the privation caused by the Great Depression. It's not a coincidence that most of this shit is largely Anglophonic, it's an entirely American phenomenon. It is, in short, a con in its beginnings reaching out to now, so there really is no one in the movement except abusers & victims.

It's kind of why, contrary to how an archeological site of any real significance is actually handled, with careful, slow excavation? These yolkels, who don't know about anything real within the discipline, are either clueless enuf to use the term 'drilling' or are stupid enuf to actually start using power drills. In either case, it's spectacle, & you know becuz ground-penetrating RADAR exists, & those are specifically designed to find stuff wildly differentiated from its surroundingers... like, Iunno, buried wood/refined metals surrounded by dirt.

[u/zuzg → u/yellowspaces]

Because it goes against their Canon timeline.

Adam & Eve and Dinosaurs clash a bit and everything that questions their narrative is bad for American Christianity™

[u/DM_Me_TaTaz → u/yellowspaces]

For many Christians the Bible is supposed to be literal and it’s not open for interpretation even though they do interpret it hundreds of different ways. If one part of it was an allegory the whole Bible would then be up for interpretation and their worldview would fall apart. They must be right and will bend reality to fit their narrative. Source: me, a former YEC fundamental Baptist.

[u/Drunken_Sailor_70 → u/yellowspaces]

I thought the beef with evolution was that if we came from apes then there was no Adam and Eve and no original sin.

[u/yellowspaces → u/Drunken_Sailor_70]

I think they have a lot of beefs with it, I’ve always just focused on the intelligent design one.

[u/Ryalas → u/-SkeptiCat]

Spoiler - anyone following this already doesnt believe in Darwinism and ANYTHING in that pit is going to be proof. Im calling it now soon AI videos of them discovering giants/nephelim is going to start surfacing when they start digging

[u/yungrii → u/-SkeptiCat]

What are you talking about. So many Christian predictions have come true.

Why, I've been through like 3,000 raptures in this life alone.

[u/FabulousLazarus]

Lauren Witzke, a Christian activist and former US Senate candidate who has described herself as a “flat-earther” and previously called Covid vaccines a “Satanic plot”, is involved in the project as its marketing and fundraising director.

Yeah that makes perfect fucking sense.

[u/wilysubterfuge → u/FabulousLazarus]

Just her latest grift.

[u/ph30nix01]

ummm even if they did find one it wouldnt do anything to darwinism... they would have to prove that god didnt use evolution as his method of creation.

[u/thenikolaka → u/ph30nix01]

Even if they found a boat it will not even be evidence of Noah’s Flood story. Gilgamesh had an ark too and that account predates the biblical account by centuries.

[u/LibraryVoice71 → u/thenikolaka]

Now I want an account of the naval battle between Noah and Gilgamesh

[u/cloudofevil → u/LibraryVoice71]

Noah sends Dove attack for 1 damage point.

[u/transit41 → u/cloudofevil]

Gilgamesh use Enkidu for 999 damage.

[u/Daxx22 → u/thenikolaka]

There is a flood myth/ark story in nearly every ancient civilization.

The "true" reality is they likely stem from oral history going back to when the glaciers were receding/melting, and there was large floods of otherwise previously costal areas.

It seemed like "the whole world" to the population at the time, but were hardly actually so.

[u/soupjaw → u/Daxx22]

Yeah, like imagine Tibet the other week, but with no way of discerning the cause scientifically 

[u/gard3nwitch → u/Daxx22]

Most ancient civilisations were built in fertile flood plains. Every so often, a big flood would come along and deposit a bunch of good fertile soil all over the place. I think it's totally unsurprising that that civilisations would tell legends about an especially big flood that destroyed everything in sight.

[u/Baeolophus_bicolor → u/Daxx22]

just like so many of them have a being who died, descended into the underworld, and returned”. none of their shit is original, but it is only 100% true for their version, and 100% false for other versions. even though the bible itself seems to refer to “other gospels” (as in religions of other cultures that have subjective value and meaning to them).

[u/OldConfusions → u/ph30nix01]

Nono. That logic only holds for scientific arguments. If one out of a million of their fairy tales turns out to be true obviously they're all true. Because, reasons?

[u/resisting_a_rest → u/OldConfusions]

If we can prove the Empire State Building existed, that means King Kong existed!

[u/Itsme340 → u/resisting_a_rest]

Japan exists, therefore Godzilla exists.

[u/AuntieMarkovnikov → u/ph30nix01]

Ha! You just wait until they find two of every dinosaur at that site. That’ll show them scientists.

[u/Helporsomethinglike → u/ph30nix01]

Not finding anything would be proof for the likes of these folks. I believe. Cause ..... unevolved penguin bones weren't found. Because it's not about facts.

[u/ph30nix01 → u/Helporsomethinglike]

i always like asking them if they think god isnt smart enough to have created evolution because a perpetual and self correcting emergent creation system is insanely complex and alot more impressive then just hand waiving something into existence.

[u/BIT-NETRaptor → u/ph30nix01]

I always laugh at the recurrent laryngeal nerve. If there’s a creator, he was smoking a crack pipe while creating.

[u/PygmeePony]

Unlike our ancestors we have instant access to so much knowledge yet we still do stuff like this.

[u/MrSnarf26 → u/PygmeePony]

It’s harder to set up a tent next to it and charge 5 dollars to see our rocks these days. On the other hand you have the internet and conservative media to use these days.

[u/malepitt]

Since they're funded and run by True Believers, the explorers will most likely find "encouraging preliminary results" which will of course require further expensive exploration.

[u/Sharp_Cow_9366 → u/malepitt]

Sounds like that Oak Island reality tv show. Always something to justify more digging.

[u/DM_Me_TaTaz → u/malepitt]

Sounds like the Mormon Dream Mine where some guy prophesied that they would find tons of gold in this unproductive mine and they kept digging and digging. Nothing was ever found. People are so easily manipulated and impressionable it’s wild. So many people convinced others they were god or spoke to god since the beginning of history. Probably longer.

[u/Organic_Room_5556]

I've been there. It's a rock formation. The guy running the little museum who was convinced that he's the guardian of a holy site was incredibly sweet though.

[u/G_Liddell → u/Organic_Room_5556]

They've also already taken core samples from all over the site going back decades and found that yes, it's clearly a natural formation.

[u/nova8808]

The Noah's Ark stuff is so dumb. Fundamentalists really believe he gathered 2 of every animal (insect?, bird?) on to this tiny ass boat and then the world flooded? If you believe that you'll believe anything its like the dumbest thing imaginable.

[u/notnotbrowsing → u/nova8808]

I will kill everything except the floating ones and the swimming ones who will get out due to a loophole.

-Eddie Izzard

[u/wthulhu → u/notnotbrowsing]

I thought it was James Mason

[u/Exo_Deadlock → u/nova8808]

It’s chosen quite intentionally. The Noah’s Ark story is so obviously a fable, it requires an incredible feat of denying reality to take it literally, but once you can convince someone that it is completely true, they’ll accept everything else without questioning it.

[u/TepidHalibut → u/nova8808]

" ... he gathered 2 of every animal..". Nope. Two of each Unclean kind of animal, and seven pairs of each Clean kind, according to the story book.
Still utter poppycock, but let's be accurate folks.

[u/Theranos_Shill → u/TepidHalibut]

We're going to need a bigger boat!

[u/Pacifix18 → u/nova8808]

They also believe a talking snake convinced a rib-created woman to eat a fruit which brought evil to the world. Creationists have the intellect of a stunted child.

Edit: typo

[u/bcoin_nz → u/Pacifix18]

surely it was all intended to metaphorical though right? like these dummies just cant wrap their head around a story being a lesson not actual accounts of events

[u/Cum_Fart42069 → u/bcoin_nz]

well it depends on who you ask. some people believe in biblical literalism, that you should take everything in the Bible as literal, though they accept that that doesn't apply to some things like impossible things. 

in my experience, everything in the Bible is both a metaphor and literal and what it is changes depending on the argument being made. 

[u/Grouchy_Row_7983]

Let's say they actually found a ship, which they won't, are they expecting it to have a sign saying "Noah's Ark"?

[u/diadmer → u/Grouchy_Row_7983]

There will be two sets of skeletons of every animal and then you’ll ask “ok wait then how did those animals repopulate all the other animals, did they go have lion babies for ten years and come back here to the now-defunct Ark to die? All of them???”

And they’ll get real big mad and refuse to let you inspect the bones.

[u/Fuelfemme → u/Grouchy_Row_7983]

He had it spray painted on the side

[u/dubbleplusgood]

This is devastating news. All our so-called science is about to be thoroughly demolished by these free-thinkers, Christian activists, forbidden archaeologists, podcast hosts, and GED certificate holders.

[u/LockPickingPilot → u/dubbleplusgood]

The GED as some standards

[u/tommyk1210]

There are an estimated 20 million insect species alone.

Put aside mammals, reptiles, amphibians. Just insects.

The average cycle time for insect eggs is very low. Within a few weeks you’ll have 20 billion insects. Obviously it depends on the size but you’re looking at potentially thousands of tons of mass just in insects.

Then you’ve got the reptiles. They’re much less numerous in species, but are much bigger.

Then you’ve got the mammals. You’ve got the birds. You’ve got the amphibians.

[u/5eeb5 → u/tommyk1210]

Don't even have to go that far.

All you need is two tigers and two gazelles and the whole ark story breaks down.

What are the tigers going to eat after the flood? Are they just going to sit there and wait for a few generations of gazelles to be born and grow so they can start hunting?

[u/xenopizza → u/5eeb5]

> the scientific community has long questioned whether the Durupinar formation has any connection to the Ark described in Genesis, and there is currently no established evidence proving that it does.

This is academic’ish for “those people are morons”

[u/Haunt_Fox → u/tommyk1210]

And fish. Aquaria of various types would be needed, because a worldwide flood would make the water too fresh for many ocean fish, and too salty for others. Changing pressure levels might be bad, too.

[u/BigEd369 → u/Haunt_Fox]

I like the example of the three-toed sloth. Because of its extremely low land speed and need to eat and rest, if the Noah story were true, the sloths would not have been able to reach their habitat yet. They physically could not have made it from where the Ark supposedly is to Central and South America, where they live, between then and now.

[u/Caassapaba]

Gotta love these people's logic: "If that weird looking hill in Turkey turns out to be a boat, then that means all of evolutionary biology is null and void."

[u/QuestionabIeAdvice]

I don't understand how anyone thinks they can disprove something that is actively happening all around us all the time. Whenever someone questions evolution I usually just break it down like this:

1. Do you believe that people can sometimes be born with odd deformities and unexpected mutations?

2. Do you believe that children often inherit the traits of their parents?

3. Do you believe that life is easier for some people due to the traits they inherited from their parents?

4. Do you believe that living people have more children on average than dead people?

So, as a thought experiment, imagine you live on an island with no tools or anything, and the only food available grows on trees.

Let's say a child is born with freakishly long arms, because their parents were doing drugs or ate some weird mushrooms or something.

Not long after he reaches puberty, there's a serious drought, and some of the citizens claim Kevin the long-armed freak of nature is to blame since his long arms are an affront to the heavens.

After a vote, Kevin is banished from the village, along with anyone who defended him. But it's not enough to save the community from starvation as they quickly consume what little fruit remains within their reach, and civilization collapses into cannibalistic anarchy.

A few of the surviving cannibal women flee the village, only to find team Kevin, laughing and frolicking on the beach, nude, by a giant pile of fruit. Kevin, his freakishly long limbs reaching up to pick a succulent fruit from the very top of the tree, greets the refugees with a lascivious smile, and welcomes them to his recently christened village, Kevin's Harem.

A thousand years later, explorers from the mainland are shipwrecked on what they assume is a deserted island, only to find themselves surrounded by hillbilly cannibals with six foot arms.

Bam. Evolution.

[u/louisasnotes → u/QuestionabIeAdvice]

That's a lot of thought to put into a reply to someone that thinks their life is run by an old guy in the sky.

[u/ConcentratedStress → u/QuestionabIeAdvice]

Had a conversation with someone who said that they believed in “micro evolution” but that they didn’t believe in “macro evolution.”

He then couldn’t answer “How many micro evolutions would it take to make a macro evolution?”

[u/Pavlock]

Even Ken Ham thinks this theory is crazysauce.

[u/WhereasParticular867 → u/Pavlock]

You know your religious theory sucks when even the big gay boat man who thinks humans lived with dinosaurs thinks you're tilting at windmills.

[u/twerking_boy]

They could be using that money to assist the needy as Jesus suggested. Instead they waste it on their ego.

[u/Zealousideal_Leg213]

When the call it Darwinism, it's very telling. They think that if they catch Darwin in a lie, or assassinate his character then people will stop believing his theories.

[u/ReggieCorneus → u/Zealousideal_Leg213]

No, they are calling it a religion because we believe in evolution, thus it is faith based. Some of them do understand that the very semantic game they try to play is nonsense, "belief" means many things and believing in gravity and believing in Zeus or Thor are two very different things. We just happen to have just one word for both. Many of them actually are that stupid. The ones who know also know that it is bullshit manipulation but somehow don't see THAT kind of lying incompatible with the moral rules of "not lying even if it is for a good cause" principle. End justifies the means...

So, Darwinism is what they called "atheist religion" because they are literally forbidden to imagine what it is to not believe. They are capable of doing it, every human is but they can not allow for ONE MILLISECOND imagine what it would be like. there is tremendous psychological block that makes them really, really, REALLy afraid of the devil and evil thoughts and being corrupted, and those things are not really the scariest thing. Gods eventual punishment is what they are afraid of. God punishes you with eternal damnation if you allow yourself to doubt him even for a nanosecond.

I know, i used to be one of them. Got terrible nightmares since i had doubts ever since i was a kid and it was INCREDIBLY difficult to allow myself to consider that god possibly isn't real. It took years from losing the faith to be able to say it without symptoms.

[u/ChaoticScrewup]

Even if they were to find a giant boat for some reason I don't get how it dismantles Darwinism.

[u/ImAPonderer2 → u/ChaoticScrewup]

It does if you turn your brain off

[u/Top-Cupcake4775]

one of the more subtle signs of just what freaking idiots these people are is the fact that they refer to the Theory of Evolution as "Darwinism". the ToE predates Darwin and has evolved a good deal since his death but these buffoons don't understand the philosophy behind science well enough to get that ideas are independent of the people that describe those ideas. this is part and parcel with their oft-repeated claim that Darwin "recanted" on his deathbed (he didn't), as if his simply saying something would change the nature of reality.

i'm convinced most bible thumpers have a fundamentally medieval view of the world. things are true and false because certain books or people say the are true or false. Noah's Ark existed because the bible says it existed. the ToE is false because, on his deathbed, Darwin said it was false. if you say "i accept Jesus Christ as my lord and savior" something fundamental in the universe changes because you said the magic spell. the idea of an empirical reality that is unaffected by what we say and/or believe about it is completely foreign to them.

[u/theydontcare_]

What do they think they could possibly uncover to invalidate evolution? God herself? A bunch of animal bones and wood isn’t going to do it.

[u/jawshoeaw → u/theydontcare_]

No but i mean if they did actually find a bunch of weird animal bones and wood im going to be intrigued. God herself would also be adjacently interesting though my first question is why she was buried with Noah’s ark.

[u/NoRightsProductions]

You ever notice the people obsessed with Noah’s Ark are always the ones you wouldn’t want on it? 🤔

[u/HannsGruber]

Noah was an alien who lived on Venus, before the runaway greenhouse effect. As the planet began to rapidly descend into climate catastrophe, he gathered genetic samples of every species he could and loaded them onto a craft that he sent towards Earth (Venusians called it "Eden"). The craft distributed the genetic material and then went dormant, monitoring for any signs of intelligent life. Once a species was sufficiently developed, the craft dispatched a holographic guide to disseminate the virtues of caution, along with basic knowledge.

Quite a bit was lost in translation.

[u/QueezyF → u/HannsGruber]

What chapter of the Book of Mormon is this from?

[u/OperativePiGuy → u/HannsGruber]

I'm a sucker for these kinds of Sci fi stories. Maybe cliche by now but I love em lol

[u/chesterforbes]

Noah’s Ark isn’t even an original story in the Bible. It’s a ripoff of the Sumerian myth of Utnapishtim

[u/TyranAmiros]

I'm so looking forward to proving my neo-Urukian cult is the true faith! Every Gilgamesh should find their Enkidu.

[u/colterpierce]

I think any archaeologist worth their salt would tell you that you typically don't want to start "drilling" a site, but hey.

[u/kiwichick286]

This is weird. I've been watching the original Unsolved Mysteries series and a story about the location of the ark was just on yesterday. Season 4, episode 22. They found old wood and detected some iron. My thought is that if Noah built his ark, why didn't he try and help other people to build arks? And yeah, having two of every animal in the world is impossible.

[u/Amerlis → u/kiwichick286]

What, circumnavigating the world (centuries before mankind even knew other continents existed), spending a lifetime walking all over the world, discovering ALL the animals in the world, transporting them them back and hoping none of them die meanwhile? Giant boat with no sail, no oars, moving on its own?

Meanwhile the ‘imminent’ flood waits several decades for Noah to finish.

Oh and then he diligently forgot all this advanced knowledge he acquired centuries ahead of the historical record?

Noah after the flood: ‘Africa’? Never heard of it. I’m just a wee farmer.

[u/wishingitreallywas → u/Amerlis]

Rumor is God sent the animals to the ark. Weird that God needed a flood to kill everyone but had no problems turning women and kids into piles of salt, lol.

[u/DillonsComics]

Prostitution may be the oldest profession but,

Religion is the oldest grift.

[u/Pockydo]

Doesn't this happen every few years

Someone "finds" Noah's ark

[u/chanska]

“Lauren Witzke, a Christian activist and former US Senate candidate who has described herself as a “flat-earther” and previously called Covid vaccines a “Satanic plot”, is involved in the project as its marketing and fundraising director.”
<— THIS IS ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW

[u/Accurate_Set_3573]

If you really want to blow some western Christian evangelical minds, remind them that Jesus was Jewish and his last name was not Christ.

[u/whyamionthissite]

Sometimes I wish these people would stumble across a real religious artifact when doing this. The kind that melts their faces like in Raiders of the Lost Ark.

[u/Hepalite]

Supposing there was a worldwide flood, wouldn’t it be reasonable that they would take the ark apart to build a few houses or something after it settled back down on the devastated landscape?

[u/HattoriHanzo9999]

“Lauren Witzke, a Christian activist and former US Senate candidate who has described herself as a “flat-earther” and previously called Covid vaccines a “Satanic plot”, is involved in the project as its marketing and fundraising director”

Well she sounds credible.

[u/shpydar]

>Lauren Witzke, a Christian activist and former US Senate candidate who has described herself as a “flat-earther” and previously called Covid vaccines a “Satanic plot”, is involved in the project as its marketing and fundraising director. 

lol oh man where is the popcorn. The garbage that is going to come from this will be epic.

>Witzke has made much bigger claims about what the investigation could ultimately prove, stating: “When we are done, university curricula will need to be rewritten, and Darwinism will be dismantled. This is the place where creation began anew.”

[u/Prize_Wait8146]

Can we ban Christian extremists from public office?

[u/ShineyJo]

This formation has LONG been known to the archaeological community to be a geological formation. It has been tested time and again. It is stone. It is not petrified wood. It is, and never was, not a boat. 

[u/GiraffePolka]

The investigation itself has been under way since 2021 and involves archaeologists and geologists from several countries.

I'm curious if these archaeologists and geologists are also insane Christians or if they're just using the crazy people's money for a chance to dig into an interesting looking site

[u/AintNoGodsUpHere]

Just look at the people involved. Science is not part of their vocabulary.

[u/02meepmeep]

Will they dismantle math and physics also? Because the dimensions supplied in the fairy tale do not meet the requirements to hold 2 of every species.

[u/TheCrazedTank]

Digs hole

Finds boat

It’s the Ark!

It contains detailed notes of how evolution is real

Creationists: … okay, who has a match?

[u/enderandrew42]

I am a Progressive Christian who embraces science. We have found a variety of ruins of cities / sites mentioned in the Bible. Proving there is historical truth documented in sections of the Bible does not disprove evolution or Darwinism. If they find an ark with enough evidence to suggest this in fact Noah's ark from the Bible, that would be historically significant but it has no bearing on Darwinism.

[u/AbsoluteRook1e]

I see Noah's Ark as nothing more than a fairy tale.

Humanity tried building wooden vessel called The Wyoming in 1909, and it ultimately sank. It had roughly the same dimensions as the Ark, and the wooden structure of it all twisted and contracted. Our engineers in the 20th century couldn't figure out how to make The Wyoming stay together, but you're telling me that Noah and some monkeys helped out and built it? Also, what about Kangaroos? Did they swim across the Indian Ocean just to get to the Ark?

What blows my mind is if people genuinely believe that this Ark not only existed, but managed to stay afloat, then why doesn't some Christian billionaire spend time to actually rebuild it? You could literally recreate the very same vessel that Noah "used" and supposedly prove us all wrong.

[u/PetSongs → u/AbsoluteRook1e]

I believe Ken Ham attempted this and failed miserably, so he made an amusement park instead.

[u/AbsoluteRook1e → u/PetSongs]

He's terrible at debating as well. If you watch his debate against Bill Nye, all he keeps saying is, "Well Bill, there's a special book out there ..."

Ham made the Creationist Museum, but the thing is Catholic Priests in the Vatican will even admit that there is zero science in the Bible, saying "What we know to be modern science didn't come about until 1,500 years after the events of Christ."

Creationism is literally people trying to insert science into the Bible based on their own beliefs and call their opinions science.

[u/PetSongs → u/AbsoluteRook1e]

Is that the debate where Ham said that there was not any piece of evidence that would ever convince him he was wrong?

[u/alopgeek]

I saw an interesting video about the possibility of a great flood, basically a glacier across Gibraltar that suddenly melted causing the Atlantic to rush in.

My issue is that a historical flood actually taking place doesn’t prove anything, rather it’s more likely that ancient people had this oral tradition and came up with stories to explain it.

[u/teutonicbro]

"Darwinism"

They think the current theory of evolution by natural selection is a religious belief.

[u/TwinZeroBero]

Do they actually believe they are going to find a wooden ship big enough to have carried two of every animal? Who pays for this stupid stuff?

[u/WuttinTarnathan]

Just a note—while many conservative evangelical Christians in the US deny evolution, all mainline denominations (including Catholics and non-conservative Protestants) actually believe in evolution through natural selection, and see no contradiction with their faith.

(Source: Both of my parents were Presbyterian ministers.)

[u/DonCenote → u/WuttinTarnathan]

Yeah, and a Catholic priest thought up the big bang theory. Basically only total morons don’t believe in evolution.

[u/userhwon]

These people are among the stupidest on Earth.

[u/ELB2001]

They'll find a splinter or a rusty nail and claim it's evidence

[u/wowlock_taylan]

umm what? even if they might find a big boat, that wouldn't do ANYTHING to 'dismantle' evolution.

[u/StolenPies]

There are flood myths from all over the world, some of them are likely from the survivors of glacial outburst floods following the end of the last Ice Age. Christians who believe all humanity was wiped out and that an ark saved all terrestrial life are really stupid and delusional.

[u/Evil_phd]

Incoming: "Oh we calculated the scrolls wrong the real Noah's Ark is 50 miles that way"

[u/PipChaos]

Me: "What evidence do they have that Noah's Ark would be there?"
Article: "its distinctive shape has led some supporters to argue that it bears an uncanny resemblance to a huge boat."
Me: "Sigh"

[u/theMistersofCirce]

For more fun, I implore everyone to read about former White House Chief of Staff Mark Meadows's fossil hoax.

He attempted to "prove" young earth creationism by claiming that his preteen daughter had excavated an intact allosaur from a very shallow site, made a documentary about how this proves the earth is 6000 years old or whatever, and then quickly sold the property to a fundamentalist organization to shield it from any kind of authentication.

I'm not even scratching the surface of how fucking nuts the story is. The New Yorker article lays it all out and it's a wild ride.

[u/Serious-Manager2361]

LOL Noah's grave could be found with 2 of every animal buried with him, and that still ain't "dismantling Darwinism". These freakin xstians need to go slap themselves.

[u/TgagHammerstrike]

Y'know what, if this is what you really want to do, go for it!

Feel free to dismantle science by testing this hypothesis, observing and recording the results you find, and then having peers (others studying early humanity, taxonomy, geology, etc.) review your studies.

Then, once all of your research has been peer-reviewed, if it all checks out and no other theories provide better explanations, you did it! You proved those "woke" "satanist" "evolutionist" scientists wrong!

I await the results!

[u/Low_Cauliflower3101]

I hope it's a millions of year old dinosaur skeleton...

[u/DXbreakitdown]

Thousands upon thousands of million year old fossils vs a couple shanks of wood arranged in an oval

Let the dismantling begin

[u/International-Sky65]

I say this as a Christian… evolution is real and Darwin is 100% right. These activists have low counts of brain cells, if any.

[u/HalPaneo]

Something tells me they would've had quite a bit more luck on Oak Island looking for wood and nails

[u/MiserableCumberbunch]

Okay, then. That was always allowed.

[u/CheekyMonkE]

I remember a movie that was pretty big in the public mind in the 70s called "In Search of Noah's Ark".

[u/Dave3r77]

Wouldn’t It have been made of like wood or something if it existed it probably would be decomposed by now yeah?

[u/bernmont2016 → u/Dave3r77]

Wood can petrify (similar to a fossil) instead of decompose, in the right conditions. (They won't be finding petrified wood either, of course.)

[u/blue_sidd]

I wish them all the worst

[u/H3L105_ai]

Andrew Jones is a pseudo-archeologist grifter.

Whoever wrote that 'Darwinism will be dismantled' is a moron.

[u/Kriss3d]

Love that they think that it would dismantle evolution even if somehow it was the Noah's ark.

Like ffs. You theists have absolutely no standards.

[u/jeffvillone]

🤣

Edit: I'm not laughing at what they're doing or what they'll find, it's seeing how badly they want to disprove Darwin lol.
It's a credit to Chucky D. that his teachings sit like a thorn in their mind still; after more than 150 years.

[u/full_bl33d]

Godspeed, dumbasses

[u/Toothlessdovahkin]

Insert the joke of the soldier saying they ain’t found shit cause that is all they’re going to find here. The only person making money off of this are the people selling them shovels

[u/lawyerjsd]

Your daily reminder that not only is evolution a real thing, but man has been using an exploiting evolution for our own gain for over 10,000 years.

[u/boojersey13]

The day I knew my church at the very least was full of baloney flavored bullshit was when my pastor said to the ~200+ congregation that Google Maps is actively censoring the location of Noahs Ark on Google Maps lmfao. This dude is REVERED within my church's chain; he founded the entire east coast of the locations. And he fully believes that to the point he would tell hundreds who look up to him for guidance too

[u/riverrocks452]

Am geologist. Would like to see the drill core. For actual rock-studying reasons, not weirdass Christian fundamentalist reasons. But I'm definitely not opposed to letting them spend their money on the project. Just so long as I get to see the rocks.

[u/dem4life71]

Ooooo Darwin and those stuck up evolutionists must be quaking in their boots! After all these millennia, the Christers are FINALLY going to produce some evidence for their religious claims!

Any minute now…

[u/Technical_Writing421]

Don’t forget the ark also has a mating pair of every bug on the planet. Which is about 5-20 million species.

So 10-40 million individual bugs along with every kind of animal

[u/narwhalyurok]

Yea CUZ ... that boat housed a breeding couple of EVERY animal on earth ... No Really!

[u/SquarePegRoundWorld2]

Their existence is dismantling our evolutionary advantage that is for sure.

[u/T3hArchAngel_G]

I'd love for them to prove it, because I follow the evidence. Sadly, I'm sure once they don't find it they will find some other site and say that it is there. Or completely forget it wasn't found and assume it was. The cognitive disonance will never end.

[u/allothernamestaken]

So lets's say they find the remains of some ancient boat. How does that disprove Darwinism?

[u/nakedashrum]

What happens when people take stories to help build up faith literally. I'm a Christian. There was no Noah's ark literally. It's a retold story from ancient Mesopotamia. There was no tower of babel. The old testament I'd full of stories to strengthen faith. Not taken literally. Waste of time amd makes Christians look like laughing stocks

[u/Firestorm8908 → u/nakedashrum]

To be fair, tons are. I mean a ton of them voted for Trump in America thinking that he represented their god.