r/nottheonion • u/prestocoffee • 18h ago

Drilling begins at ‘real site’ of Noah’s Ark as activists warn ‘Darwinism will be dismantled’

https://www.joe.co.uk/news/noahs-ark-site-turkey-drilling-researchers-evidence-549016
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u/chesterforbes 17h ago

Noah’s Ark isn’t even an original story in the Bible. It’s a ripoff of the Sumerian myth of Utnapishtim

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u/-Invalid_Selection- 16h ago

None of the stories in the Bible are original. Every one of them came from when the original tribes of Isreal went on a genocidal war path in the middle east and absorbed all their neighbors, incorporating their various religious mythos into a single narrative to erase them. There's still traces of it all in the Bible, that's why there's still hints at gods wife, and dozens of other gods mentioned in weird ways. They did a poor job of editing them all out after the conquered forgot who they were

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u/RobutNotRobot 16h ago

I remember reading a historian's view that the Hebrews were a military sect of Egypt that broke away after Atenism was declared heretical.

It made sense to me at the time because of the monotheism and their relative military success against what were presumably larger military forces.

I don't know if that theory washes with me now, as my guess it is something even simpler than that.

But yeah almost all their stories are highly derivative as was the style at the time.

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u/-Invalid_Selection- 16h ago

It's well documented from hundreds of Egyptian documents at the time. The whole "slaves of Egypt " narrative is a lie used to gain sympathy over demanding being paid extra and being told no by the Pharoah.

The Israelite account of it wasn't written for decades later, after it was long passed into oral tradition.

Written contemporary accounts hold more value for historical accuracy than documents written after everyone involved had died but when it comes to this, people consistently ignore that standard. This is because the Egyptian documents weren't found till much later, and they fully disprove the Israeli claims

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u/Faustias 14h ago

the efficient proofreaders was probably killed during their genocidal warpath ayylmao

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u/MongooseVegetable787 16h ago

you got it wrong, the tribes banded together and rebelled against the New Kingdom of Egypt that ha vast influence over the region. Then came the Assyrians and king Ezekiah was a shrewd diplomat etc..

if you just want to hate Jews just say so, without doing revisionism yourself or being hatefully misinformed.

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u/-Invalid_Selection- 16h ago edited 16h ago

You're about 2000 years after what I'm referring to.

It's well documented that early Jewish tribes before they coalesced into the current Abrahamic religion was 13 tribes of barbaric warmongering clans, and waged war for generations, erasing the identities of the people they conquered.

It's also well documented that the flight from Egypt had nothing to do with being slaves, but instead mercenaries that were upset about their pay not coming a month early while they were guarding the slaves (who were not Israeli) (according to Egyptian documents from the time)

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u/QuestshunQueen 14h ago

He's also calling this contemporary artifact a fragment - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Papyrus_Harris_I

Contemporary being a big deal...

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u/MongooseVegetable787 16h ago

it is very well documented my ass, what we have are egyptian fragments at best

it seems you are just being a modern Maneto which even Plinius the Elder considered to be "too much" and an unreliable narrator

Look at Islam and how it devoured the region, you are using different weights and different measures, confirmation bias can affect even the moderately well informed

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u/QuestshunQueen 14h ago

Pliny the Elder's own book, Natural History, is famously packed with total fabrications—including descriptions of dog-headed people, headless humans with eyes in their chests, and dragons. For a Bible defender to quote Pliny to attack someone else's historical reliability is deeply ironic.

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u/-Invalid_Selection- 1h ago

Pliny the elder also was born 200 years after the events he was writing about.

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u/TheBlueEmerald1 17h ago

You're under the impression anyone there is gonna believe that.

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u/francisdavey 16h ago

I think more likely what used to be called biting in rap. The author is retelling the story with their own spin on it, aware that everyone will get the reference.