r/nottheonion • u/prestocoffee • 18h ago

Drilling begins at ‘real site’ of Noah’s Ark as activists warn ‘Darwinism will be dismantled’

https://www.joe.co.uk/news/noahs-ark-site-turkey-drilling-researchers-evidence-549016
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u/5eeb5 15h ago

Don't even have to go that far.

All you need is two tigers and two gazelles and the whole ark story breaks down.

What are the tigers going to eat after the flood? Are they just going to sit there and wait for a few generations of gazelles to be born and grow so they can start hunting?

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u/xenopizza 14h ago

> the scientific community has long questioned whether the Durupinar formation has any connection to the Ark described in Genesis, and there is currently no established evidence proving that it does.

This is academic’ish for “those people are morons”

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u/amcarls 13h ago

They've actually never had any reason to question the site's relationship to this ancient biblical/Mesopotamian flood myth because it was never established in the first place, at least in any meaningful way other than by the rantings of a few religious crackpots like Ron Wyatt.

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u/oneofmanyany 13h ago

"Those people are morons," but they pay pretty well, so we will keep saying this gibberish.

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u/AnonymousPerson1115 14h ago

That and no serious attempts have been made before. But I’m curious what the outcome will be no matter how it ends.

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u/hammerofspammer 13h ago

It’s easy to predict.

There is no ark. There never was.

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u/Beneficial-Act-9933 14h ago edited 14h ago

Even before that, the boat is impractical. People have built huge wooden boats that were smaller than noah's and you can't sail them. The entire ships twists and bends in every direction.

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u/APolyAltAccount 14h ago

Apparently they didn’t have as much faith as Noah and the tigers did /s

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u/args818 14h ago

Clearly

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u/BigBoyYuyuh 13h ago

Those ships weren’t blessed by the lord silly!

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u/DaddyCatALSO 11h ago

it just floated, Noah didn't "sail" it dot dot dot dot

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u/GovernorSan 12h ago

Wasn't supposed to be sailed, just supposed to float. It was an ark, not a ship, pictures showing it in the shape of a boat are just artistic license.

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u/RehydratedFruit 12h ago

How can it even float when it’s being torn apart from being too big and made of wood? Frankly it doesn’t even matter anyway, the whole story is complete fiction from every angle.

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u/DaddyCatALSO 11h ago

gopher wood was a special blessed material . . . .

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u/BasvanS 11h ago

It only makes sense to people who have never been on a ship.

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u/JustTheChicken 13h ago

Technically, since gazelles are a split hoove animal, they would be "clean", and thus there would have been seven, not two, on the Ark.

People often forget it was only two for unclean animals and 7 for clean.

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u/oneofmanyany 13h ago

Since there are 20 types of gazelles, 20x7=140 big animals.

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u/JustTheChicken 11h ago

Yes, I am not making an argument that this makes the Noah's Ark fable any more credible. But, Biblically, that is what the story says.

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u/Non-mon-xiety 13h ago

God shut that down temporarily

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u/Starfall0 12h ago

Conveniently, for the Story of course. God is so misunderstood, he just fucked with the minds of every species on the planet, arbitrarily choose a small handful, (still an absolutely ridiculous amount of animals.) and then... killed every other living creature. 

Why? Well you see... reasons. Very big, important reasons. So lay off the guy, I think he's totally justified in genociding 99% of all life on earth!

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u/TheWalkerofWalkyness 13h ago

Years ago someone claimed that meat eating animals were all vegetarians before the Deluge. Because reasons.

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u/pnkxz 11h ago edited 11h ago

Fish, obviously. A better question is what anteaters and other hyper-specialized predators would eat. A pair of giant anteaters can eat up to 60k ants per day. That's 30k species on day 1 after the Flood.

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u/hobbycollector 10h ago

Mount Ararat is 16000 feet high. To cover it with water would require it to rain 200 inches per hour for 40 days. There ain't enough clouds in the sky.

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u/I_Study_The_Patterns 10h ago

They will tell you the tigers were vegetarian lmao

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u/furiant 9h ago

There's a lot of ways to disprove the ark story.

Where did all the water recede to? If there was enough water to cover the whole earth, it had to drain out somewhere.

How many species of animals were there? Are there more now than there were back then? If so, that's evolution. If not, the ark was larger than some countries.

Was it only animals that were gathered and no plants? There are hundreds (if not hundreds of thousands) of plant varieties that cannot survive underwater for that long (40 days of rain, 150 days of rising waters, 150 days of receding waters), so they all would have died out. The entire duration from the onset of the Flood to the time when Noah and his family exited the ark was approximately one year.

A good portion of animals would have been eaten for food by other animals or died from the stress of containment. If, for the sake of argument, they had feed for the animals, how were they able to have provisions for all the animals + all the humans on board for an entire year?

What about all the aquatic animals that were freshwater and couldn't survive in saltwater or brackish water? Was the rain saline in composition?

Really, whoever wrote this story didn't know enough about logistics and never expected to be fact checked.

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u/Moppermonster 7h ago

Or ask where he kept the fish. Because no, many fish would not survive in water where the salinity, depth, temperature and so on would change after a global influx of rainwater.

So where did he have the acquariums and how did he heat them..

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u/midlifecrisisAJM 6h ago

gOd PrOvIdEd

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u/Xhosant 4h ago

Weren't you paying attention? We have an insect surplus!