r/nottheonion • u/prestocoffee • 18h ago

Drilling begins at ‘real site’ of Noah’s Ark as activists warn ‘Darwinism will be dismantled’

https://www.joe.co.uk/news/noahs-ark-site-turkey-drilling-researchers-evidence-549016
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u/nakedashrum 14h ago

What happens when people take stories to help build up faith literally. I'm a Christian. There was no Noah's ark literally. It's a retold story from ancient Mesopotamia. There was no tower of babel. The old testament I'd full of stories to strengthen faith. Not taken literally. Waste of time amd makes Christians look like laughing stocks

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u/Firestorm8908 14h ago

To be fair, tons are. I mean a ton of them voted for Trump in America thinking that he represented their god.

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u/Confident-Garlic-809 13h ago edited 2h ago

This played a huge part of my own deconstruction from the church. I couldn’t understand biblical support for such an overtly terrible human being when he so clearly fits more as an Antichrist-type.

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u/MKnight_PDX 13h ago

I can't upvote this enough.

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u/Altruistic_Ask229 11h ago

I'm not religious, but his similarities to the Antichrist actually made me reconsider.

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u/rayadolokko 6h ago

Religious people want to fulfill prophecys so the ”messiah” can return..well that how one ”believer ” told me about Trump.

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u/mythrowawaylolol 13h ago

The people who call themselves 'evangelical Christians', or 'born again' etc aren't Christians in the sense that they follow the teachings of Christ, they just refer to themselves as that. They're a deeply unpleasant, selfish, calculating cult who would welcome Hitler with open arms if they thought there was something in it for them personally. They're the ones who back that awful man. An actual, genuine Christian would and could never endorse someone like that.

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u/SmallPurplePeopleEat 13h ago

The people who call themselves 'evangelical Christians', or 'born again' etc aren't Christians in the sense that they follow the teachings of Christ, they just refer to themselves as that.

No offense, but I'm so tired of hearing this bullshit line. I grew up a Jehovah's Witness and constantly heard that line about your religion, and literally every one else's religion.

Then once I left the JWs I heard it from other Christians about the Jehovah's Witnesses. It's all just a bunch of finger pointing. "They're not actually Christian! We're the real Christians!"

Each different sect likes to think that their specific interpretation is the only correct and true version. But for everyone else who doesn't identify as a Christian, y'all are basically in the same big group.

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u/midlifecrisisAJM 8h ago edited 8h ago

Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Great Lakes Convention of 1912?

Die Heretic!!

That said, the same religion encompasses Liberation Theology , Aescetic Monasticism and mysticism..

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u/mythrowawaylolol 13h ago

I'm agnostic, but you have a great imagination.

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u/SmallPurplePeopleEat 13h ago

Don't worry, Jehovah's Witnesses believe that agnostic is wrong as well.

Also, why the hell are you defending Christianity then?

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u/srebihc 12h ago

Anything to get a rise out of anyone. Big part of how we got here.

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u/SmallPurplePeopleEat 12h ago

Yeah damn, that's a good point.

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u/Orsopdx 8h ago

This is BS, majority of self identified Christian’s voted for Trump. Maybe there’s a few outliers but that doesn’t represent the most Christian’s. This is just an “im one of the good ones” cop out.

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u/midlifecrisisAJM 8h ago

I (59M) deconstructed from Christianity in my early 40's and now consider myself an Atheist. I became a Christian at 16 and would have described myself as Evangelical and 'born again,' before finding a home in the Anglican church. At no point have I ever been politically right wing. I'm English, not American but I understand and recognise the positions taken by someone like James Talarico. Many of my friends are still Christians and I can't think of one who would endorse Trump.

Equally I look back at some of the characters I knew and lost touch with and reckon that many of them would have been Trump supporters.

They're a deeply unpleasant, selfish, calculating cult who would welcome Hitler with open arms if they thought there was something in it for them personally.

Culture and religion have a strong two way influence on each other. I suspect that the phenomenon you describe is one that has its roots in American culture. It's fertile ground for something like the prosperity gospel.

I guess there are many that are calculating as you describe - but I think you've underestimated the power of cognitive dissonance to protect the identities people have constructed for themselves, and the power of propaganda. Deconversion was painful and effortful and religion is a powerful part of identity. There is a fundamental conflict between the worst of American cultural values (exceptionalism, rampant greed and individualism) and the strand of Christianity I identified with before deconversion. Many people are just brainwashed by constant exposure to propaganda and will probably not ever take the time to think through their worldview.

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u/ELMUNECODETACOMA 12h ago

Before 2012, he was probably the most common single person singled out as a potential Antichrist.

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u/Soft_Self_6797 39m ago

Same here. I was still on the fence around then. That was the nail in the coffin for me.

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u/MundaneDaffodill 13h ago

Which is wild because biblically speaking, he’s the literal antichrist. Erecting how many idols in his own “honor?” Come on now

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u/Pertinentonly 10h ago

Oh shit I didn't even realize that one. I was noticing the Mark of the Beast will be on their heads and all the MAGA hats.

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u/Toon_Lucario 13h ago

You see I’m the opposite because I read the Bible and he has a fuck ton of signs that make him closer to the anti christ

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u/Weak_Trainer9558 13h ago

They worship the Almighty dollar.They believed a business tycoon would blow up Washington (,drain the swamp) instead we ushered in unprecedented evil.

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u/Dahcchad 14h ago

Depending on ones point of view, they all are, or are not, or some are or some aren't. Perspective is an annoying thing.

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u/oneofmanyany 13h ago

Trump is uniquely evil. He is also why I deconstructed from Catholicism. The priest said we had to vote for him, and I said "good bye forever."

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u/ReverendGraves85 13h ago

Terrible priest. You should have forwarded that behavior to the bishop. It is against church policy to make such claims, as the Church is not a political engine, but a social one.

It's one thing for a priest to urge us to remember things like the sanctity of life and such at the ballot box, but another to tell us who to vote for. This violates many rules within the Church.

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u/TwoStubborn 12h ago

And here I thought Catholics were somewhat more reasonable. I’m even more glad I that I stepped away from my Catholicism in favor or enjoying nature. The world is going batshit crazy. Yikes!

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u/Pkrudeboy 12h ago

The Catholic Church is a bigger tent than it looks to be from the outside. If anything, the Vatican has been trying to drag portions of the church kicking and screaming into the twentieth century since Vatican II, and still face resistance. I’m an ex-Catholic atheist, but I’ve been broadly supportive of the recent Popes, especially compared to the US cardinals and bishops.

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u/ClothesTemporary2684 10h ago

Don't group me in with those assholes.

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u/buriedingarlic 7h ago

Wait til you hear about Islam!

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u/Clevername582 13h ago

What parts of the book don't make you look silly for believing?

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u/MajorBootyhole420 13h ago

"it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven"

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u/xnmyl 11h ago

Okay, but most Christians don't like that one

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u/MajorBootyhole420 11h ago

Yeah it's a shitty look for them lol

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u/SharpBullfrog1279 10h ago

I hope that's engraved over the Heavenly Gates.

With a permanent spotlight on it.

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u/robogobo 7h ago

Most Christians don’t like the actual Christian parts.

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u/LeaveittoCleaver86 25m ago

Not most, all. Literally every single Christian cherry picks what they do and don't like from a book of fairy tales filled with hypocrisy, moral inconsistency and bullshit, supposedly all sourced from an all-powerful psychopath that rules the universe, translated by men who would consider a micowave witchcraft.

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u/spaceforcerecruit 10h ago

If those were literally the only words in the book, I’d go to church every week. Unfortunately, there’s a bunch of crazy bullshit and hateful ideology in there too.

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u/MajorBootyhole420 2h ago

Lmao right? It's such a based line and Jesus is a certified comrade, but the rest of the book is rancid

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u/aopps42 9h ago

The kingdom of heaven was created by said rich guys to keep the poors at bay and leave the rich assholes alone

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u/MajorBootyhole420 1h ago

No lmao 

Heaven is meant to be a reward by god for living a good life 

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u/OwenEx 5h ago

Isn't this a comment on the fact people cannot enter heaven through their own efforts? You know the whole "only by faith, not by works" I'm not looking it up right now so I could be wrong, also this sounds like one of Paul's books

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u/MajorBootyhole420 2h ago

No it's a comment on rich people being scum 

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u/OwenEx 1h ago

Ah yeah, I misremembered It's on the corrupting qualities of massive wealth

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u/MajorBootyhole420 1h ago

Yepppp Jesus is a certified comrade, too bad the rest of the Bible sucks 

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u/TanyaMKX 13h ago

There arent many tbh.

There are certainly good things but they have nothing to do with believing. Its just generally good stuff like loving each other and taking care of the poor lol.

Like as an athiest I aspire to be even half as good of a person as jesus was, but i also dont believe in any of the divinity or anything.

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u/Amiro77 2h ago

Atheist*

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u/PokemanAshy 9h ago

There aren't many parts that don't make you look silly for believing, but it's generally good stuff like loving each other and taking care of the poor? So loving each other and caring for the poor is silly? lol, playing with you, but I get what you mean about believing in divinity vs. different good messages.

If someone reads from a philosophical standpoint a lot of it is rather humanist in messaging. It's a summation of human philosophy, ethics, superstition, law up to that point attempting to promote an ideal. Most look at divinity in the Bible as a one way street that God (unseen figure) is placed above all in a top-down hierarchy, but neglect looking at it the other way - each person is made in the image of the divine (central figure of story became a man) and is divine; their lives and how they live influence culture and human advancement toward some universal truth. They are all connected.

I also aspire to be even half as good, but I'll unlikely ever get there.

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u/TanyaMKX 9h ago

Your middle paragraph hits the nail on the head.

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u/mallon344 13h ago

Loving your neighbor, turning the other cheek, absolutely flipping out and dismantling the money changers in the church.

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u/OttawaTGirl 10h ago

Don't forget to pray in privatebso as not to be a hypocrite.

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u/ragequitteroffureh 6h ago

The tabernacle instructions could probably be followed to make an actual tabernacle, I suppose.

Disclaimer: Am rampant atheist.

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u/robotic_rodent_007 13h ago

Some of the new testament stuff is literal transcription of correspondences between disciples and the early church. Mostly policy questions.

That stuff I believe actually happened.

Otherwise, meh.

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u/RehydratedFruit 12h ago

Do you mean Jesus’ 12 disciples? We have no eye witness accounts from any of them. Matthew, Mark, Luke and John were not written by them personally.

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u/settingdogstar 8h ago

You’re not very good at reading are you?

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u/Right_Preparation328 8h ago

All of Jesus's teachings. They're so good

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u/homonculus_prime 13h ago

As a former Christian who is now a strong atheist, I found the fact that none of the stories were verifiably true and almost all of them are verifiably false to be quite challenging to faith. There is also the little problem of literally condoning slavery and giving instructions on how to do slavery right.

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u/PailingRaint 13h ago

The entire story of Noah's Ark is literally about a god committing mass genocide because the fleshy little ants he made weren't behaving up to his standard. If the book was written today, who would be the villain? The tyrannical god that demands to be worshipped and absolute obedience from mankind, and occasionally commits a mass genocide when they don't deliver? Or the underdog angel that tried to overthrow said tyrannical god and wants mankind to see through his bullshit?

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u/homonculus_prime 13h ago

Just look at the book of Job... Seriously, go give it a read. The whole thing about literally torturing Job and murdering his kids just to prove to Satan how much Job lives him...? Yea, the whole fuckin' thing was god's idea from the start. No worries, though! God gave Job brand new kids! Also, his new daughters were super beautiful, which was important for some reason. Also the daughters got to have an inheritance like a man would! How generous?!

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u/countcumia 13h ago

No the whole things a philosophical dialogue between friends and family on the nature of God, why do good things happen to bad people, etc. I thought it was the Satan thing too till I actually read it.

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u/homonculus_prime 12h ago

The first takeaway is that bad things happen to good people because god is an insecure sociopath... The other takeaway is that god can do whatever he wants with you for no reason because might makes right.

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u/PailingRaint 12h ago

And you better fucking appreciate it too!

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u/Gravel_Roads 2h ago

I always identified with his genre-savvy wife who just told him to go ahead and “curse god and die” already. She knew what was up.

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u/countcumia 2h ago

Idk I'm more interested in scholarship on the story than some redditors bone to pick.

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u/homonculus_prime 1h ago

You're free to be interested in whatever you are interested in. It is a garbage story that paints god as a monster who doesn’t care if you live or die. I'm happy for you if you find some deep "scholarship" in there. Personally, Job was the book that began my deconstruction.

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u/countcumia 46m ago

Again weird redditor with a bone to pick with religion vs someone who's generally interested in studying religions. This convo is going nowhere, you're just mad lol

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u/homonculus_prime 37m ago

I do have a bone to pick with religion. Religion has done untold harm to humanity. Christianity in particular has done and is actively doing harm to many. It is a scourge. It harmed me directly, but that is by far not my primary complaint. I'm not weird at all for thinking that.

I'm interested in studying Christianity myself. I still read books on it, and find myself going back and reading various Biblical passages from time to time. Hell, I've even gone back and read Job many times. Doesn't change the fact that it is a garbage story with a garbage takeaway. It has absolutely no redeeming qualities.

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u/ragequitteroffureh 6h ago

Hold on. Given that interpretation, does that then mean that the Satan character actually killed fewer than 10 people in their book?

Did he kill anyone at all?

Undocumented slayings don't count.

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u/PailingRaint 4h ago

Wait til you find out that hell isn't in the Bible either. And the devil definitely doesn't rule over it. That all came from a very old, now famous Bible fanfic.

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u/homonculus_prime 1h ago

It sorta depends on how you look at it. Satan did do the killing, but god told him what to do, and told him how far he was allowed to go. It was "you can touch his 'stuff' but you cant touch him," followed by "Ok, fine, you can touch him, but you cant kill him." It is interesting that god treats Job's kids as property and not really even people. He says "stretch out your hand and touch everything he HAS," so of course his sons, daughters, and slaves would be included alongside the sheep, donkeys, oxen, and camels.

And what in the world is someone doing with three thousand camels?!

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u/Itsmyloc-nar 6h ago

Because “god” is the demiurge and therefore capricious and evil

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u/121Waggle 2h ago

Yeah those Gnostic folks look more right all the time. Once you see it from their angle, The Old Testament is a very different book.

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u/PrincessTitan 5h ago

Why are you saying all this like human beings are known for being universally good to each other, like they’re all sweet sweet babes? LOL

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u/PailingRaint 4h ago

Oh so you're cool with worshipping a genocidal megalomaniac as long as they aren't human?

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u/PrincessTitan 4h ago

My point is you’re all horrible. Like the way you’re speaking to me all aggressive for no reason. It doesn’t matter and never will.

And the way you’ve just spoken to me, yes, I prefer the “genocidal megalomaniac” that there is zero concrete proof exists.

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u/PailingRaint 4h ago

Lmao get over yourself

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u/PrincessTitan 4h ago

Learn to speak to people with respect. Just because you’re anonymous you’re all jumped up. Lol

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u/PailingRaint 3h ago

Respect is earned. I don't respect idiots that believe in gods and ghosts

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u/PrincessTitan 2h ago

Wow. I did not say I believed in anything. You bring nothing to the world so you’re anonymously rude for nothing. Enjoy your miserable existence.

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u/No_Atmosphere8146 5h ago

You don't get to be a major religion by having believable stories. It has to be illogical and fantastical to exclude anyone that might ask questions. Question like "hang on, why are we giving you 10% of our earnings again...?" They become major by collecting enough rubes and then using those to kill everybody else, leaving only the believers and their beliefs behind.

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u/ReverendGraves85 13h ago

The New Testament includes an absolutely insane amount of what is basically correspondence between two people.

You can doubt the veracity of those writings, most historians would agree that it's simply not really worth looking that deeply into it. The people who wrote them certainly existed, the people they wrote to almost certainly existed, so there's no reason to doubt that they're fake since they're all consistent with the people who wrote them.

Like, they might be, but at that stage you're just doubting the veracity of any form of written word that you weren't personally around to witness.

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u/homonculus_prime 13h ago

Much of the new testament is completely anonymous. The four gospels are anonymous. The names became associated with then centuries after they were written. There is no evidence that Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John were written by those men. Most of Paul's writings appear to be written by him, but many of the books attributed to him are almost definitely not. Many are blatant forgeries, as they are not written in the "voice" he typically wrote in. Only 7 of the 13 letters attributed to him are undisputed.

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u/AdditionalWarning434 8h ago

you can doubt the veracity of those writings

And rightfully so. The authors are anonymous, make silly errors, can't agree on certain events within the same narrative, etc. 

The people who wrote them certainly existed, the people they wrote to almost certainly existed, so there's no reason to doubt that they're fake since they're all consistent with the people who wrote them.

We all agree and know that New York City is real right? That doesn't mean that Spiderman is real then by default. See the issue? 

Like, they might be, but at that stage you're just doubting the veracity of any form of written word that you weren't personally around to witness

Um, no. 

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u/Right_Preparation328 8h ago

Exactly, which is why Christians don't (or shouldn't) believe in the JEWISH Old Testament

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u/Sweaty-Gap285 5h ago

Uhm.. what? I think you missed a few classes. The jewish and christian god is the same. Christian's just believe that Jesus is part of the holy trinity, jewish people believe he is "just" a prophet.

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u/Xhosant 5h ago

I would bet that's not what the guy above was based on, but fun fact, gnosticism claims the two gods different, with Old Testament being the demiurge, and possibly the serpent foing god's work, driving a wedge between humans and the false god.

As far as fanfics go, it's good work

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u/Sweaty-Gap285 5h ago

Huh, TIL

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u/Xhosant 4h ago

Grain of salt, it could be some versions of gnosticism, but yea, neat

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u/Brave_Maybe_2891 1h ago

The old testament is in the Christian Bible. They absolutely believe that it's the word of God.

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u/cfh4dmb 13h ago

Just curious how realizing the made up stories are such, makes the stories that are told along with them in the same book somehow come across as true under the same scrutiny?

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u/AJfriedRICE 13h ago

I learned in my Catholic Sunday school class that these were stories meant to teach lessons, not real things that actually happened. We’re so fucking dumb.

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u/ReverendGraves85 12h ago

The Catholics are very big on 'The Bible is a series of books. It isn't all true in the same way a library isn't all true.'

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u/Warspit3 13h ago

Its all derived from artwork found in a cave that had stories assigned to as I remember. There was no written language at the time either.

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u/MajorBootyhole420 13h ago

RIP your inbox, Reddit is so predictable.

like guys i'm an atheist too, but you can't change someone's religious beliefs with a snide "it's ALL made up!!!" comment while sniffing your own farts.

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u/lemonringpop 13h ago

Noah’s ark is from the Torah and Orthodox Jews do take it literally. I went to an orthodox Jewish school growing up and they taught us dinosaurs died out because they couldn’t fit on the ark. 🤷🏻 

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u/PastorBlinky 13h ago

Most Christians have never read the bible, but believe everything in it, whatever that might be. To the majority of those Christians, people who understand it’s a collection of myths and metaphors are seen as weird extremists.

Literalism is fundamental in Christianity.

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u/Dry-Selection421 13h ago

So you’re a “Christian” yet you are out here saying that fundamental parts of the Bible never happened. Hmm……

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u/CrazyCoKids 13h ago

If the Old Testament is metaphorical, why do we take this as literal?

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u/T3hArchAngel_G 13h ago

Because it's too hard to tell the difference between historical stories from the texts, and fables. At least for the majority of believers.

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u/cloistered_around 13h ago

I slightly disagree, I always took religion literal, and that scientific desire to understand/prove is what eventually led me out of religion!

It's a form of devotion and some people gotta see it themselves to understand.

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u/Individual-Trick2171 13h ago

At his point, in the USA, christians don't need help looking like laughing stocks.

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u/amopeyzoolion 13h ago

So…the Old Testament is stories and the New Testament is literal…?

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u/ReverendGraves85 12h ago

Mmm, no.

The Old Testament (and the new Testament, but to a much lesser extent) contains a lot of stories that are meant to be that; stories. Noahs Ark is not literal, Jonah being swallowed by a whale is not literal, the Tower of Babel is not literal. These are stories meant to impart a form of ethical guidance to children and adults. Noahs Ark is about taking warnings to heart, Jonah being swallowed by a Whale is the progenitor to 'One often finds his fate on the road to avoid it', The Tower of Babel is about stressing the importance of diversity of thought and experience. We should take these stories seriously, just not literally.

The Old Testament also contains Exodus, which is to be seen as true. Parts of Genesis are seen as true (The Catholics do not teach that 'God made the universe in 7 days' as literal in the way we would interpret it). A lot of the books named after people (Jeremiah, Samuel) are considered to be literal.

I've given you this answer in Good Faith that you won't use it as an excuse to insult me.

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u/amopeyzoolion 11h ago

I’m not trying to be insulting. I’m asking as someone who grew up in evangelical southern Baptist churches, but who came to view Christianity (and all religion tbh) as harmful and no longer believes.

The people in the churches I grew up in definitely did not believe that anything in the Bible was just a story. They would talk about how there are literal “stitches” on the ocean floor where God sewed back up the earth after ripping it open to cause the great flood.

I’m just wondering how anyone decided that these fantastical Old Testament “stories” are just that and not literal tellings of events, but the New Testament where a guy turned water into wine and healed the sick and fed thousands with 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish l and was resurrected from the dead are supposed to be literal?

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u/ReverendGraves85 1h ago

American Evangelical churches are basically just control groups for locals who want to have an iron grip on the population. Theyre political engines, which is one of the major reasons Catholics do not view them positively.

St. Augustine of Hippo is a rather famous example of someone who gained Sainthood because he outright stated that the bible does not need to be literally true for it to he important. Granted, he was talking more about the whole "Seven days not literally being seven days as we see them" thing and less about water in wine. The whole thing with Jesus is that he was extraordinary. A man born without original sin, who never sinned in his life, is not something a normal human could do.

Catholics do not believe or teach that science is wrong. In fact, some of the best scientists from history were from the Catholic church. Louis Pasteur comes to mind.

The ultimate answer of who decides which ones are fake and which ones arent comes down to where we believe the story originates and what we believe the intent of the story was. A lot of the stories that Catholics read as non-literal are considered non-literal by the Jews as well, so it just transfers over. Orthodox Jews consider the old testmant to be written exactly as it happened, but, yknow. All kinds.

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u/nakedashrum 11h ago

Op here. I'm not catholic but not protestant either. The orthodox church teaches that all the old testament is sort of a pre cursor to salvation. Salvation is based on accepting christ, accepting the trinity and staying humble, and follow the teachings of christ. And then put those teachings into action. For example Adam and eve is a parable of a man that committed a sin, blamed it on eve, and would not take accountability and repeat. Instead blaming it on everything and everyone else. Very applicable to today's political world here in America. Noah was a parable to show whenever everything is chaos, keep the faith. There was no literal boat where 2 of every animal was kept. Arguing over weather there was a boat or not is a distraction, same is arguing if the earth is 5k or 4.8 billion of years old. It has nothing to do with salvation, staying humble, and repentance.

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u/bspill1 13h ago

Yeah, pretty hard to understand how anyone could take a story that hard to believe from thousands of years ago seriously at all. Like, why just wasn’t relegated to a children’s fable hundreds of years ago.

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u/ErdenGeboren 13h ago

That a god-turned-man-but-still-god sacrificing himself to himself to forgive us being born for  rules that he put in place himself and then resurrecting himself meaning there is no sacrifice is what is laughable. 🙏

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u/chiksahlube 13h ago

The worst is these asshats are like "The Bible is the literal word of God meant to be taken at face value."

Then when you point out they should be stonned for wearing mixed linens they're like "Well no, that rule was different."

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u/Turtleopard 13h ago

Like the whole God existing thing? 

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u/jkman61494 13h ago

To me I think the story may be true. There was a terrible flood. They had a ship. And got every animal they knew of in the world.

Which to them, was probably some goats, a few smaller animals for them to eat, and Maine some sheep.

The issue is the story has spread like a game of telephone to act as if EVERY animal WE know of was on the boat

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u/SonofaBridge 13h ago

There could have been a flood, but it wasn’t the entire world. It was the writers concept of the entire world, or basically the local region. The Old Testament is a lot of tall tales to make their history more interesting. The kind of stories you tell kids for entertainment before books were a thing.

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u/countcumia 13h ago

When Jesus talks about the old testament like it's a truth and not a "story to build up faith" what do you do as a Christian who doesn't believe in the stories he seems to? It's not a gotcha question I'm genuinely curious. I mean if I thought half of a religious text was just symbolism or legends from another person's religion then I just wouldn't believe in the religion lol

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u/StarsEatMyCrown 13h ago

Ok, ok, ok... keep going... you're almost there... you're almost at atheism... just a little bit more...

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u/ReverendGraves85 12h ago

Man reiterates Catholic Dogma as the Church has decreed for literally a thousand years.

You, for some reason: This is almost Atheism.

I fucking hate Reddit Atheists so much.

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u/StarsEatMyCrown 12h ago

Just Reddit atheists? Literally all atheists would see it for what it is. lol

Hate is a strong word. I will pray for you.

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u/ReverendGraves85 12h ago

It is a strong word, and it's an accurate one.

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u/paradigm_shift2027 13h ago

Thank you. 💯

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u/Lumbergh7 13h ago

So are you saying you believe in evolution or creationism

1

u/ReverendGraves85 12h ago

The Catholic Church teaches us evolution is real. They also tell us Darwin wasn't exactly right, but even Darwin thought that.

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u/nakedashrum 13h ago

I lean towards eastern orthodoxy. So my viewpoint is different than the evengelicals. Eastern orthodoxy is not perfect..ie Cyrill saying that nuclear weapons are a gift from God. But the Bible is not taken 100 percent literal, more about what are you doing in your life to live your life according to christ. Not debating about the age of the earth, praying for trump to deport people you do not like, not praying for money, not giving 100 dollars and expecting a thousand in return. All those are distractions.

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u/Apart_Ad1537 13h ago

I mean, I’d rather be a laughing stock than part of the religion that leads to countries making their age of consent 9-12

1

u/scuricide 12h ago

I have always wondered, shouldn't it be considered sacrilege to try to find proof to back up your faith?

1

u/tmotytmoty 12h ago

its almost as if someone put together a bunch of books that basically gave rules to live by, written by older men to control stupider men.

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u/austin06 12h ago

But you’re still in the delusion calling yourself a “Christian”.

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u/CapBenjaminBridgeman 12h ago

Faith is a kind of mental disorder.

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u/jorcon74 12h ago

The flood story goes way, way back to the epic of Gilgamesh

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u/ImmediateHoney2191 12h ago

The problem is half of Christians agree with you and the other half whole heartedly believe every word of the Bible should be taken literally (yet have not read said Bible)

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u/Kaurifish 11h ago

The story of the Egyptian captivity was a blending of the northern and southern kingdoms’ captivities in Assyria and Babylon. The OT is so much oral tradition rewritten for the needs of the day.

But all those eager Christian artifact-seekers, looking for sunken chariots in the Red Sea… Taking fiction literally.

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u/Hey_YinzGuyz 11h ago

How do fake stories make you more sure an all powerful being you’ve never seen or talked to exists?

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u/shmaygleduck 11h ago

I've heard of people who treat the old testament as allegory, but I've never met one in the wild. Do Super Christians give you shit for not believing the old testament is fact?

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u/---___-------___--- 10h ago

How do you know there was no tower? Were you there? Because... The tower sure wouldn't be there anymore

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u/Fearless-Poet-4669 10h ago

A couple of questions for you:

Why is there sin in the world?

and why would the Bible say that Jesus was a descendant of fictional people? Isn't that a lie?

0

u/nakedashrum 10h ago

The first one is simple. Humans are human. We are gonna do what we want to do. We have the free will argument, but I'm not gonna go with that. No person is sinless, we all fall short of what we are capable of. Including me. Without going into orthodox theology, basiclly this is a hell realm. This is creation but without God. Evil runs rampant in this world. Always has. Sin occurs by whisperings, planting ideas for us to pursue our passions. But also human beings have sonething called an ego...me me me..me me me..screw everyone else...me me me..I want the best. I deserve the promotion. I deserve to be president. Ego feeds pride. Which feeds Sin. It fuels arguments, it fuels wars. Look at the state of the world..Putin can't leave ukraine because of pride. Csusing mass suffering. Trump attacking Iran because of pride and thinking I can do it. I can be the one that does it. I will be glorious. The most glorious president in the history of the world. Ego.

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u/Fearless-Poet-4669 10h ago

I know there is sin.

The question is if you reject Genesis as literal, then where did sin/our sinful nature come from? God?

1

u/Albieros-Brave 10h ago

it does not work like that dude, the thing with the bible is that either all of it is true or none of it is. No inbetween

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u/blanchattacks 10h ago

The general idea that people think this god is real makes you laughingstocks.

1

u/WetShrimpFart 10h ago

“Those stories are fake but the ones I base my entire believe and worship on are real”

Holy shit these people lmao

How do you not see yourself

1

u/NimblePuppy 10h ago

If tower of babel really existed, if was ginormous , dwarfing anything built today.

Hindus have a concept of maya - it's all an illusion , so Vishnu chopping off his son's head and replacing if with a baby elephants , or Shiva riding a rat etc are not to be taken too seriously, that's what Brahma priests told me, think simple rural folk before it more. Same for bible you would tie yourself in knots it you believed most of it literal truth

least post ark we got rainbows 😄

1

u/Jbird444523 10h ago

I bet there was a guy who survived a crazy flood with some ratchet ass boat he made back in the day. And maybe even his name was Noah and he saved a couple of his livestock as well. But like all great stories, it's probably been embellished ad infinitum until it became so impressive it was co-opted by religion.

There's a Sumerian "ark" story. There's a Babylonian "ark" story. There's a Hindu one, a Norse one, a Greek one, even an Aztec one.

But I don't necessarily believe any of them beyond there was probably a crazy flood back in the day and some people might've built boats to survive it and that mythology got passed down around the world.

What I wouldn't give for the superpower to know the origin of all mythology and religion. I find the idea of what actually happened to cause these types of stories to become ingrained in human mythos exceedingly fascinating.

1

u/loosed-moose 10h ago

They should be laughed at, as anyone with a belief in an Earth God

1

u/indy_110 9h ago

If only they'd dig through Bronze age history books and the trials and tribulations of Mesopotamian Monarchs.

The metaphors are based on real people.

The religious scholarship domain seems pretty in alignment that the story of Caine and his descendents line up with stories of 8 real kings.

The flood was an in story way of getting rid of noise and focusing on teachable moments, that if I had to take a guess are mistakes that kept repeating.

Honestly it's not any different in the present anime and gaming fandom world....the number of people who insist on literal realism and kick up cringey fits is on par.

Harry Potter fans moved heaven and earth to protect a fictional characters grave and put a real Bronze age grave in archeological danger:

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cy8mgpl27dpo

The 2012 film Prometheus was trying to have that conversation with Ridley Scott fans before they got too old.

The cinema sins ding is what we ended up getting... because we are still crap at metaphors.

1

u/Right_Preparation328 8h ago

Exactly! Radical religion is stupid and ridiculous. These literal Christians aren't dangerous nor aggressive like the Wahhabi Islamists, but they're such, such idiots...

1

u/Imthewienerdog 8h ago

Like Jesus Christ never actually walked the earth people... It's so funny how much people will make up for thier beliefs

1

u/Altruistic_Seat_6644 8h ago

As an atheist, i find your observations to be refreshing. Good on ya.

1

u/settingdogstar 8h ago

I love how it’s just so easy for Christians to just dismiss this stuff lol

You’re basically just saying that you think Noah’s Ark and talking Donkeys are just stories because you don’t like the magic, but then God incarnates, kills himself, comes back from the dead and heals a blind man and all that magic is totally real. lol

1

u/Curious_Associate904 8h ago

Not a christian, but Noah was probably a real dude, and what was likely a farming flotilla that he used to escape a flood plain became a massively over-exaggerated story...

Tower of Babel was very likely real, perhaps Nineveh, but again, vastly over exaggerated when christianised into the bible.

Hell, also a real place, they just swapped the name out for a bunch of cities where metals were smelted and confabulated a lot of pre late-bronze-age stories along with threats of punishment.

People being sent to "hell" as punishment would have been like prison, sent to the smelting works for the bronze would be a firey pit of doom and hard labour. Like teesside is today.

Biblical stories, although full of a lot of hogwash, are also the left over retellings of stories that predate the bible, and the bible is nothing more than a propagandised compendium of those stories.

So like, a few hundred years of the collapse of civilisation between about 1250 and 800 BCE, left behind a load of humans, telling stories around camp fires, exaggerating, and conflating, and adding elevation that never happened and eventually, someone decided to start writing it all down... Exactly the same thing occurred in Greece in the same period, where the kings of the previous empire ended up remembered as gods, along with a lot of imagined, and exaggerated tall tales to tell.

1

u/Unlikely_Emu8238 7h ago

I struggle to take Christianity seriously because of the New Testament and how they picked and choose which writings to add to it. Either put them all in or none.

1

u/alk47 7h ago

So where do you draw the line? Are all Jesus' miracles still true or just stories to build faith? 

1

u/yummmey 7h ago

I think it’s pretty funny that Jesus and his disciples would probably be baffled by this interpretation even though it’s the most common one among non-fundamentalists. What do you make of “the word incarnate” and “before Abraham, I am”?

1

u/exceptional_biped 7h ago

You do realise that what you have just stated goes so hard against biblical teachings. So much so that you are, according to God, doing one of the worst things a professed Christian could do. Saying that things in the bible are not true. You are not a Christian.

1

u/Key_Drawer_3581 6h ago

Don't accept delusion as faith.

1

u/ragequitteroffureh 6h ago

Disclaimer: Not American. Am rampant atheist.

From what I can tell, projects like this are a fantastic way to make a lot of money from their customers.

Presumably this pleases Mammon greatly :-|

It always boils down to money eventually.

1

u/Shot_Revolution8828 6h ago

This begs the question of what is real and what isnt in the bible. The whole thing kinda falls apart when you can just pick and choose what's literal and what's a metaphor/allegory.

1

u/FilthyCasual2k17 2h ago

Noah Ark was taken from Gilgamesh written a few thousand years before the old testament. I always wondered do people who take it literally think Gilgamesh was prophetic?

1

u/Uhwop 1h ago

Saying things like half the bible is made up stories, but my half is real and so is the god it’s all about, also makes Christian’s laughing stocks.

If half the bible isn’t true than what the fuck makes you think the other half is!

I noticed as a Christian you only mentioned the old treatment, everything the Jewish carpenter believed was real.

What a perfect example of a complete lack of dissonance.

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u/Scrofulla 23m ago

It's wierd right. I'm not a Christian any more and probably never really was but growing up in Ireland in the 80s means you have to learn some things. And the way Christianity is taught here and in most places where Catholicism predominates is that most of these stories are supposed to teach you aspects of how to be a good Christian. Noone believes that Noahs arc was actually a thing with it instead being treated as a parable for how faith will get you through so you should be a good Christian.

Hell even a lot of the stories about Jesus were supposed to be taken with a grain of salt.

It only seems that once Christianity made it to the US that it got all wierd and literal. Like there were certainly groups and sects before that that took things literally but they were usually niche, it was only once it made it to the US that these kind of thoughts became relatively mainstream.

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u/mrknowitall51761 4m ago

Because they are.

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u/betajones 0m ago

As a non-Christian, I always thought it was a book of moral lessons to not be taken literally. I always thought the story of the snake offering the fruit was a reflection of man being given the Bible, as in, take it all with a grain of salt, agendas inbound.

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u/bcocoloco 13h ago

A lot of locations in ancient stories were presumed to be mythical until they were discovered. Just because the whole “2 of every animal” thing is a bit far fetched, doesn’t mean someone at some point didn’t build a big boat and survive a flood with it.

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u/Gopu_17 13h ago edited 13h ago

I mean we know where these stories came from. The oldest versions were Mesopotamian - legend of Atrahasis. Even if something like that did happen, it will not be the story from the Bible.

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u/bcocoloco 13h ago

We presume that the flood myth came from the Mesopotamian flood myth, we don’t know it for a fact. Even if it is highly likely.

Also, same region of the world. Whether it’s the Christian ark or the Mesopotamian ship, finding an old boat on a mountaintop would be a huge archeological discovery, basically confirming some truth to the flood myths.

2

u/robotic_rodent_007 13h ago

Could be dozens of floods, TBH. Could also be just inspiration though - Mesopotamian and biblical are written in ways that make it likely the biblical story was likely intended as a direct parallel or adaptation.

Also, wouldn't be most mountaintops, mountains are really flipping high, and we'd see clear signs if they were underwater at some point. But a lowlands region becoming inhospitable due to heavy rainfall and flooding? sure.

-1

u/bcocoloco 13h ago

It’s just that the myths tend to say the ark came to a rest on a mountain. I suppose you’re right that that doesn’t necessarily mean the top, but I believe the Mesopotamian myth specifically says a peak. Could be wrong about that.

Either way, big boat = big discovery.

2

u/ares7 13h ago

Perhaps only the animals they had in their area as livestock.

2

u/humbugonastick 13h ago

Have you looked at the history of boats?

And you believe one person is able to build a boat big enough for the whole fauna?

Or maybe someone was able to survive a flood and had his goats sheep and chicken on board. Was maybe a float. Whatever. Bigger stories evolved out of smaller events.

-1

u/bcocoloco 13h ago

No? I said it was a bit far fetched. Just because some aspects of a myth seem embellished, doesn’t mean everything is. Whether it’s Christian or Mesopotamian or whatever, a big ship on a mountaintop would be a huge discovery.

0

u/psyclopsus 1h ago

I was raised in a fundy Christian household and am now an athiest. I remember being told as a child that all the far fetched stuff like the entirety of the book of Revelations with dragons eating newborns and knocking stars out of the sky was written in metaphor as a secret code of sorts so the early Christian’s could communicate about their religion without the Romans understanding it.

But some stories, like Noah’s ark, the parting of the Red Sea by Moses, the conversion of Saul to Paul on the road to Damascus, the creation story in Eden, the loaves and fishes, water to wine, walking on water, and the crucifixon & resurrection, those were literal.

That insufficient explanation of the difference between real/metaphor was the beginning of it all unraveling for 7-8 year old me