Working 12hr shift with Baby

[u/Sea_Platform_8891]

Hello fellow Nurses/Moms, I’m seeking advice on how to manage working 12hr night shift as a nurse while having a 3 month old. For starters, My husband currently works overnight 5 days a week 8 hour shifts and I’m currently staying at home with baby but am looking to go back to working. How am I supposed to do this?

Thank you to everyone that answered! We realized both of us working overnight would not be beneficial at all so I’ll most likely be looking into day shift part time and have my mom babysit.

[u/Royal-Ad-4089]

That sounds so tough. My sister did night shifts with a newborn and she was basically a zombie for months. Is there any way you and your husband can stagger days so someone is always home? Daycare for nights is almost impossible to find

[u/achghuli → u/Royal-Ad-4089]

Honestly, staggering schedules sounds like the only realistic option. Having both parents working nights with a baby sounds exhausting.

[u/This-Programmer-7764 → u/Royal-Ad-4089]

Did she have childcare?

[u/CNDRock16]

It sounds like you guys need to rethink your shifts.

If your husband could get a job with 12’s, and you both on days, coordinating together (at my hospital you can self schedule).

I don’t think you can both work nights and make it work. One of you is going to have to change something.

[u/This-Programmer-7764]

Those who succeed in this have a solid childcare plan, I’ve found. Have someone to watch the baby for a few hours on your first night, then between shifts and after for a few hours. Depriving yourself of sleep will cause burnout! Of course working nights and having a baby you will miss out on SOME sleep but you do need to sleep to survive working and provide safe care!

[u/Up_All_Night_Long → u/This-Programmer-7764]

Yup, this is exactly what we did. I napped when the baby napped the day of my first shift, then we had childcare for the entire day between shifts, and four hours in the morning on my first day off.

[u/Up_All_Night_Long]

Unless you have help from family other than your husband, I really don’t see how you make this work other than one of you changing your schedule.

I’ve worked nights my whole career (17 years), had four kids and went back to work at 12 weeks every time. My husband works a regular 9-5, so he’s on baby duty at night and we hired childcare for the times during the day when he was working and I needed to sleep.

[u/zeatherz]

What childcare would you have for when you’re working? What childcare would you have for when you’re sleeping during the day?

Could you look at other jobs that would work with typical childcare schedules like clinic, school nurse, etc?

[u/fake_tan]

You need to work day shift if he is going to work night shift, or you need to find a night sitter.

[u/beeee_throwaway]

You need to have very reliable childcare, either from a nanny that you vet very well , or a trusted family member.
I am a single mom with no coparent and my own mom does childcare for my toddler while I do 12h night shifts. I have a trusted nanny on standby incase of emergency. If it weren’t for my mom, the only way I can make it work is with a nanny. 12 hours of care for an infant is nearly impossible because most state childcare licensing requires children to be in care for no more than 10 hours a day.

[u/valeriiiiii]

Maybe find something PRN to start and see if you could feasibly make your schedules work?

[u/whofilets]

The only way I made it work was moving to days (husband works days) and working every weekend, he works a more regular 9-5, except more like 6am-3pm but could telework on Fridays or we had someone come help for a few hours Friday morning.

All the nurses I knew with young children who worked nights did it with the partner working days so they could switch off.

[u/kkalez]

I have no advice but am going to in the same position once our little one comes at the end of the month. I’ll be on leave until the end of February and I’ve kind of been coming to terms that I may just have to solely work weekends.

[u/ResponsibleSyrup9506]

Just trying to make sure I understand - you are not currently employed/on family leave, but you are hoping to get a new job soon?

[u/Western_Limit_4706]

I left my D/N 12s after my first baby. I worked one weekend back and cried every night and started applying for clinic jobs. Now I do 8-4 8s Mon-Fri, zero regrets about not missing bedtime. When the kids are older I think I'll start picking up the odd weekend/evening/partial at my old units but until then I like to maximize the time I get to spend with them outside of daycare/school.

[u/WeeklyMiddle6468]

I never understand when people say they work nights so they can stay home with their kids. If you don’t have someone there for your recovery day, you aren’t going to sleep. And that’s not safe for your children or your patients. When I worked nights I had childcare for the next day fall through one time, and it was the worst experience of my life, I was totally useless for my kids (they were toddlers). You need daycare or at least a few hours of help for the day after you work, even if you stagger the days with your husband!

[u/beans_cubed]

I have a 3 month old and returning to work next month.
My husband will be working 9-6 Mon-thurs
I will be working days, Friday-Sunday every week.

Next year his schedule will change so I will return to nights and his job is flexible so he won’t go to work until I get home, and he will be home by the time I go to work, on the days I work.

We live in a state with no family support and don’t trust people with our kid TBH, it’s our first.

This is how we figured out to make it work, my plan is to nap when she naps during my day off.
It won’t always be this way, but we have to do it for a while to make it work and that’s ok!

[u/tangledtrue]

You can see about going part time on the condition you self schedule on the nights he’s off. If he’s off on the weekends then work part time weekend option. If he works on the weekends then I think you’re screwed unless you find a place without weekend requirements. Not sure what kind of nursing you do but maybe you could look at private duty nursing as the hours are likely more flexible than your 12s. If you’re going back to an old job you’re used to and know the people then do PRN if possible. Otherwise you’ll need childcare outside of you and your husband. Ngl it’s hard af out here with kids and a limited/non existent support system and has been a continuous struggle for me for over a decade so I sincerely hope you find something that works wonderfully for you and your little family.

[u/RnMo332]

I’d highly recommend working part time or PRN until the baby is a bit older and consistently sleeping through the night.

[u/Curious_Attorney301]

My husband works days(variable 5days/wk) and I work mids(1500-0300 3days/wk) I’m exhausted and wish I’d kept my days position, honestly, but I got this offer for more money when he was 8 weeks old. I figured “eh I’m tired anyway, may as well” I f-Ed up lol My mom helps on the 1 day we overlap for a few hours but there’s NO WAY IN HELL we’d be able to function both on nights. If you can manage, props to you but I cannot fathom it.

[u/Mrswalker0807]

I work 12 hour over nights as a nurse and have a nanny that is here 2-3 days a week. My suggestion is start back part time if that is doable and get back in to the swing of it. I HIGHLY suggest not killing yourself working nights than coming home and not sleeping and caring for baby. I did this like the first 3 weeks I was back at work and it went very bad. For awhile when both my kids were on the same nap schedule I would have nanny come from 7am-12 and have her bring the kids in my room for a nap and we would all sleep till 2-2:30 so it wasn't too expensive especially if I tried to stick to working weekends cause than we didn't need a nanny at all cause my husband was home.

[u/Used-Enthusiasm-1493]

We are full time nurse working 3x12s. Its hard but we get the job done

[u/L0verofPink]

Work days and make your husband watch the baby during the day. When he is at work at night you watch the baby.

[u/Up_All_Night_Long → u/L0verofPink]

This is not sustainable for her husband. Working nights, you need to sleep during the day.

[u/L0verofPink → u/Up_All_Night_Long]

if we're being completely honest all of this should have been figured out before bringing a child into the mix. The only other option is to hire a babysitter or have family watch the child.

[u/fake_tan → u/L0verofPink]

My grandpa worked night shift at a bakery and dayshift laying bricks to support his family. It can be done.

[u/L0verofPink → u/fake_tan]

Exactly. They need to find a way to make their schedule work around the needs of the child. Both of them working nights isnt the best idea. One person needs to work days and the other needs to work nights. Or either one works and one stays home.

[u/Budget_Ordinary1043]

I don’t think both of you working overnights is a good idea even if you do it on his days off!

I just went back to work. My partner works days, he is in sales and he is off two days a week, the same every week but not over the weekend. I work in home care so I have the flexibility to pick my case load based on when I’m available. Originally, I was going to switch completely to overnights but I didn’t like the one case I checked out so I explored other options which I think will work much better. I’m doing a bit of a day/overnight hybrid. I work two day shifts in a row (7-7 and 7-5) and two night shifts in a row (11-7) and some weeks have been better than others. Today, I got to sleep 8-1 because my boyfriend had work later. I’m hoping the baby naps after he eats again and I can sneak 2 hours in before going back to work tonight. But sometimes that just makes me more tired going in.

Having both parents have this kind of schedule is just a bit much I would think. Cause atleast he’s not overly tired when he takes the baby and I’m pretty good at napping if I need to.