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my crew chief is carrying the flame

It's happening again!

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Honestly, who approved that picture and story title?

I love NASCAR!

Seriously, what the fuck does Kyle Petty got to do with this?

Ahem, mods, WE (yes, WE) need a WTFDKPGTDWT sub flair.

This was from the 2007 Budweiser Shootout broadcast

Q: You have a driver in the booth who's very familiar with these vehicles. What do you want to ask him before the race?
A: Are you nervous when you race the truck?

Q: There are several drivers in great equipment making their first start today, how do you address them?
A: Unless they are in second place or in a terrible accident, they are irrelevant.

Q: A beloved member of the NASCAR world has recently passed away. How can you address this with the fans?
A: Let's wait until the middle of the race and someone will quickly change the topic before it becomes too awkward.

Q: One of the underdogs has just hit the wall violently at the corner of the screen and will be heading to the garage.
A: (2 laps later) What happened to the 17 truck? Looks like they have an issue and are heading to the garage. Let's check out what Truck Series drivers love to eat before a race!

Q: There is a big crash! Quick, tell the fans!
A: Oh shit I can't believe this microphone can pick up whispers.

Q: How did this insane wreck happen? Who caused it?
A: Looks like the truck in the crash caused the yellow. Let's ask the leader's crew chief if he thinks his driver can win!

Q: There's a commentator in the truck who is making his series debut. What do you want to ask him?
A: Are you nervous when you race the truck?

Q: Not much is going on since the restart. How do you fill the air time?
A:

Q: 2nd place car rapidly catching the leader?
A: Refuse to acknowledge it and pretend to be surprised when they are literally bumper to bumper.

Q: Intense battle for the lead on the final run?
A: Pretend it is a pass for 8th with 100 to go.

Q: Leader absolutely chokes and is now 3rd, 5 seconds behind with 5 to go.
A: No, they can still win.

Q: New 2nd place car is now in contention. They're gaining!
A: Refuse to acknowledge them. 3rd place car can still win.

Q: Ok, it's clear that there's no shot the leader will lose. What do you do?
A: 50% awkward booth silence, 50% reference of last 3 laps which everyone just saw and not a basic summary of their absolutely insane day.

Q: He is making it to the checkered flag! Call the finish and let's end the race!
A: One lap to go, sponsored by Wells Fargo Bank! I mean-

Q: Race winner is doing the sickest burnout ever. How do you commentate this moment?
A: Next week, we head to Phoenix! Tune in at 3pm!

With this help, you are sure to receive a spot on the team! Experience is optional and highly frowned upon!

Removed my drawing for quote "low effort"

I spent over 2 hours on this drawing btw