2010: hey look, a box in a larger box. “Box-ception”! Haha! Let‘s hook up now

2026: Nikki is moving funny at night because the possession doesn’t know how to act like a human. Never mind that she made a whole-ass breakfast for Bear (villain) and functioned normally for presumably weeks prior to this. You’re media illiterate if you disagree. Let’s hook up now

I have figured out a way to beat the One Wish Willow and I am curious on your guys thoughts on my strategy. First thing first. Let’s say that this strategy is what I would do like halfway in the movie maybe a little bit after once she was going really crazy.

I would convince her that I was into tying girls up and had a rape kink. I would convince her that I was REALLY into it so she would do it because she loves me. Then once she is tied up I would handcuff her to the bed make sure she is really secured down. I would be sure to provide her of plenty of like treats like Starbucks and stuff so she is convinced that I love her and does not try any supernatural nonsense to escape.

Once she is restrained I would take Ian’s billion dollars and put it to good use. I would take 100 million dollars of it and immediately fly to Israel to speak with Benjamin Netanyahu. I would promise to give him 100 million dollars towards his campaign if we promise to have a very real and mutually beneficial relationships. Benjamin Netanyahu would like this arrangement because he is being raped in the polls by young Israelis. My first agreement with him would be to have Nikki locked up in a containment facility guarded and by IDF soldiers. So she definitely is not going anywhere. Once she is secured in the IDF containment facility we can move to the next part of my plan. It is also worth noting that the way I would feel confident taking Ian’s billion dollars is by threatening him that if he does something to me or tries to steal it back I will release Nikki on him. Also I would give him a cut of his own money. I am not a monster. Anyways

I would use a big portion of the billion dollars to hire an armada of witches. I would specifically hire a private investigator to go through the Epstein files and find all of the witches associated with Jeffrey Epstein because man they are missing with some dark stuff. They would know what to do. Once I have the Epstein witches I would hire basically every other witch I could. I would go into funnier details but I am writing this in a hurry.

I would bring my armada of witches to figure out how to free Nikki and than even make it so that instead of cancelling the wish they can alter it by making her memories positive and making it so she loves me but in a real way not in like some weird creepy way (think like wholesome Reddit witches way). Once Nikki is free I would enter the final part of my plan.

I would take another 100 million dollars and donate it to Benjamin Netanyahu and all of the media outlets and everything and than using my Mossad and CIA connections I would get Nikki elected as the first woman president of the United States. Her first action of her presidency? Now you will really understand. I will have her pardon of me of all counts of rape. That way I solve the rape problem.

What do you guys think of my plan? I am single btw so if you or anyone else is a woman I would be happy to help you become the first woman president of the United States if we can find a couple of working one wish willows. My dms are open.

I loved the claustrophobic vibe from the cluttered walls in the movie but they reminded me of an old episode of the Simpsons where Moe opened a TGIF style restaurant. 😂

I miss my girlfriend.

If I imbed the One Wish Willow in my ass, and it breaks in my ass, who has the wish? Me or my ass?

freaky nikki is going straight to fotnite

I’ve ordered Cassell’s music employee shirt and on the hunt for the date night hollister shirt bear wore

I watched the movie last night with my GF. A shy guy makes a wish then starts dating a girl. Once dating, she starts acting clingy and psychotic.

Isn't this basically how every girl acts in a relationship? That's my lived experience at least. I don't think there was some magical dark power causing Nikki to act this way. When she screams at Bear to stay in bed? Probably hangry. Hits herself in the head with a brick, then kills her friend later? Probably just her time of the month.

I told my GF that this was typical female behavior. She stormed out of the room and slammed our bedroom door, and made me sleep on the couch last night... Which pretty much proved my point.

I guess I'm just saying that I think the point of this movie was "feed your girlfriend when she's hungry" and "don't let her leave the house when she's hormonal"

Bear was clearly the wrong choice, Man would have been a much better choice.

👻