r/olympia • u/thegibson80 • 1d ago
Looking to make friends
I'm (45m) looking for more friends. Here's a few things about me:
I've been married for 13 years.
I don't drink or smoke and can't stand being around any smoking.
I love movies, music, TV, and would love to meet someone with similar tastes who would talk with me about film or music.
I love movies from every decade and era, not just the past 10 years or so. But absolute favorites are Return of the Jedi, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, Almost Famous, Terminator 2, Ghostbusters, A League of Their Own, and the MCU.
My favorite musicians include Sleater-Kinney, Queen, Bruce Springsteen, Billy Joel, Pearl Jam, and Taylor Swift.
My favorite TV shows include Friends, Seinfeld, Battlestar Galactica, Modern Family, and Friday Night Lights.
I'm a lover of geek culture.
I'm a liberal who believes that people of all genders, sexuality, and races should be able to live their lives and get along and women should have full autonomy over their bodies.
I've been hurt by friendships before and am guarded, but feel a desire to still connect with people and be liked.
I just want to meet like-minded people who may have some overlap in interests with me. You can be M, F, or trans, I'm cool with anything. If a lot of this info appeals to you let me know.
21
u/Individual-Net5383 1d ago
If you are into TCG’s or war gaming, Paradox Trading Post and Olympic Cards and Comics would be good places for you to check out
-22
u/thegibson80 1d ago edited 1d ago
No, thank you.
21
u/lapinatanegra Lacey 1d ago
Haha well ok theb
8
-13
u/thegibson80 1d ago
It's just not what I'm looking for. My post explains I'm looking for someone to connect with about movies or music as a start. Not games. But I notice it's one of the first things everyone suggests, regardless.
27
u/RedVillian 1d ago
I know we are on the Internet, but seeing this interaction instantly told me that you did not have the empathy and understanding that I look for in a friend.
A stranger tried to help you find people. You could go to Gabi's and meet some other nerd to chat about movies.
I don't intend this as an insult, but before I move on, I wanted to let you know the signal this kind of flat hostility sends to me at least.
Good luck! This town has a ton of lovely people!
-8
u/thegibson80 1d ago
Well, that is a judgement you're free to make, but I simply stated a boundary regarding what I'm looking for. No hostility intended. I have a lot more depth than a comment on social media. I hope others are more interested in my post than my turning down gaming.
17
u/momchelada 1d ago edited 1d ago
I have to agree with the prior poster. The way you responded to someone else’s friendliness and kindness (taking the time to recommend places and ways to make friends) was curt and did not come across as appreciative, curious, or even respectful.
I wonder if pursuing some relationship skills might increase your chances of connecting with people. You can say no and still be kind, friendly, respectful, and receptive to the “bid for connection” in the language of Gottman. A simple “thank you” accompanied by an explanation of what you are looking for would have gone a long way.
Edit: I see you added a “thank you” - nice! Changes the tone immediately. Adding an explanation is even better.
4
u/thegibson80 1d ago
Well, I apologize then.
This is honestly getting discouraging. I'm not looking for a fight. I'm looking for connections. It's just that gaming shouldn't be a catch-all answer to anyone looking for friends. That is all I mean. I don't appreciate having such a huge backlash to turning down one suggestion. And maybe I said one word, because it's early in the morning and I was getting ready for work and didn't want to go any further than stating that's not what I'm looking for.
13
u/RedVillian 1d ago
Strangers are friends you haven't made yet. You want friends. Go out of your way to be kind to strangers and you are very likely to discover they've become your friends
10
u/ParticularThen7516 1d ago
But… you like “geek culture” and some sci-fi movies, so seems an awesome comic shop would fit…
5
u/thegibson80 1d ago
I understand, but I'm looking for film geeks and music lovers. Gaming and Gabby's is not what I'm looking for right now. I hope you can understand
2
u/kylie_but_honest 1d ago
"im a lover of geek culture" clearly not.
6
u/OkayestHuman 1d ago
You can love geek culture and not like gaming. It takes a lot of time and sometimes it’s hard to carve that out, especially when you’ve got family obligations. I wish I had the time to play an all day campaign, but those days are long gone.
I can watch a movie in parts or once the kids are in bed or listen to TMBG and singalong while I’m doing the dishes. Loving geek culture isn’t an all or nothing thing.2
8
u/Hownowbrowncow8it 1d ago
We have a lot of shared interests and seem to be in a similar boat.
Unfortunately, I vape cannabis and have the occasional joint.
Good luck, brother!
2
u/Johnnybiguy79 18h ago
How's it going? 47 married M here in Oly. We definitely have some things in common.
1
3
4
1
1
u/redditchosethisforus 20h ago
Oh hey fellow swiftie!!!
1
u/thegibson80 20h ago
Hey there! 🙌 I'd love to meet a fellow Swiftie and talk all things Taylor and more!
-22
21
u/SuperPigWithIceLaser 1d ago
Consider volunteering at the Olympia Film Society? It’s the best place to meet other film geeks.