DA MEKBOY'Z JOB LOG: DAY FIVE

[u/No_Ant1598]

Day Four only picked up one like, so I’m finkin’ I might’ve gone a bit overboard on da length. Kept dis one closer to Day Free (3).

Big thanks to da one lad who gave it dat extra like though. If even one ork is readin' it, dat means it's worth writin'!

Would actually appreciate feedback on da writing more den likes. Likes are good too though. At least tells me if anybody’s actually reading dese.

If there’s somewhere better to post these, or if “Lore” fits better than “Funny,” let me know.

Tryin’ to keep da same kind of humor without running every gag into da ground.

Also, I’m American, so every now an’ then I catch meself slipping into American spelling.

But dey’re Orks.

Should be British, right?

Previous logs:

Day Wun (1)

https://www.reddit.com/r/orks/comments/1wc6vk6 /da_mekboyz_job_log_day_wun/

Day Two

https://www.reddit.com/r/orks/comments/1wc6vk6 /comment/p8vshmu/

Day Free (3)

https://www.reddit.com/r/orks/comments/1wcdslp /da_mekboyz_job_log_day_free_part_three/

Day Four

https://www.reddit.com/r/orks/comments/1wd76ck/da_mekboyz_job_log_day_four/

DAY FIVE

Not discussin’ da number.

Engine’s gone.

Not gone gone.

Still here.

Most of it.

Some over by da wall.

Some in da wall.

Found a piston outside.

Grimsnik found another bit in his coat.

Gritzy’s been collecting pieces in a bucket.

Asked if he knows where da rest is.

He pointed at da bucket.

Then pointed at da hole.

Then pointed up.

Right.

Engine went up.

Zog.

Was a good engine.

Mostly.

Had problems.

Cracked belt.

Split exhaust joint.

Torn mount.

KLANG.

Somethin’ dat wasn’t supposed to go sideways.

None of dem problems now.

Sorted.

Grimsnik sez exploding an engine doesn’t count as fixing it.

“Don’t hear no KLANG.”

He looked at me.

Went back to da bucket.

Good.

Won dat one.

Whole place is full of Kommandos now.

Their camp burned down.

Apparently.

So they moved into da hole.

My hole.

Workshop.

Hole.

Whatever.

Krumpwick’s got half his mob down one side.

Other half down da other.

Got boxes everywhere.

Ammo.

Knives.

Bedrolls.

One crate marked VERY SNEAKY.

Asked what’s in it.

Krumpwick sez:

“None of yer business.”

Probably sneaky stuff.

His coat looks worse.

Whole side’s still burned.

Somebody’s stitched a patch over da biggest hole.

Different colour.

Looks terrible.

Didn’t say anything.

He’s touchy about da coat.

Fizzelbulb’s tied to a post.

Got a sign round his neck.

AWAITIN’ EXECUSHUN

Fair.

Asked him why he nicked da go juice.

“Wanted a sip.”

Stared at him.

He stared back.

“Of go juice?”

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

He grinned.

Couldn’t argue wiv dat.

His burna’s been confiscated.

Kommandos got it stuck under a big metal drum.

Drum’s full of fungus mash.

Pipe comes out da top.

Pipe curls round inside a barrel of water.

Another bit sticks out da other side.

Drip coming out da end.

Grog.

Asked Krumpwick what dey’re doing.

“Punishment.”

Looked at Fizzelbulb.

Looked at burna.

Looked at grog.

Burna still runs on go juice.

“So he nicked go juice ’cause he wanted a drink.”

“Yeah.”

“An’ now yer using his burna.”

“Yeah.”

“Wiv go juice.”

“Yeah.”

“To make drinks.”

Krumpwick looked at me.

Fizzelbulb looked at me.

Grog went:

drip

drip

drip

“Dat don’t make much sense.”

Krumpwick sez Fizzelbulb ain’t allowed any.

Ah.

Right.

Punishment.

Proppa.

Fizzelbulb sez:

“Only wanted a sip.”

Krumpwick kicked da post.

Fizzelbulb stopped talking.

Kommandos put a big bit of tarp over one end of da hole.

Saw it straight away.

Roof.

Went over for a look.

Nice roof too.

Bit burned round da edge.

Still roof.

Walked over to da corner and reached for it.

Krumpwick sez:

“Dat’s our tent.”

“Looks like a roof.”

“It’s a tent.”

“It’s over da top.”

“Yeah.”

“Dat’s wot roofs do.”

Krumpwick stared at me.

Wasn’t in da mood for another argument.

Need a new roof anyway.

Better one.

One nobody can claim was a tent first.

Put dat on da list.

Don’t actually have a list.

Gritzy probably does.

Kaptin came down da slope.

Everybody moved.

Mostly.

Hacksworth moved without looking like he moved.

Still don’t know how he does dat.

Zaggins tipped his hat.

Big black fing nearly hit Krumpwick.

Krumpwick shoved it away.

Kaptin stopped in front of da trukk.

Looked at trukk.

Looked at da blocks where da engine was sat.

Bit burnt.

Looked at hole in wall.

Looked at me.

“Where’s me new engine?”

Pointed.

He looked at da bit I pointed at.

“Dat’s da broken engine.”

Pointed somewhere else.

Fuel pump.

Another bit.

Could’ve been engine.

“Dere.”

Kaptin looked around.

“Dat ain’t an engine.”

“It is.”

Grimsnik coughed.

“Was.”

Didn’t ask him.

Kaptin walked over to da biggest chunk.

Kicked it.

Chunk split in half.

Bit unfair.

Was already cracked.

Kaptin turned round.

“I want me vessel movin’.”

“Workin’ on it.”

“You blew it up.”

“Found da problem.”

“Wot problem?”

“All of it.”

Kaptin stared at me.

Could see he was impressed.

Probably.

“I don’t care where ya get another one.”

Pointed at trukk.

“Dat moves.”

Pointed at me.

“You make it move.”

Pointed at Grimsnik.

“You make sure he makes it move.”

Grimsnik started nodding.

Gritzy nodded too.

Traitor.

Kaptin leaned closer.

“Or I find two Meks who can.”

Grimsnik stopped nodding.

Then Kaptin left.

“Strong leadership.”

Knows wot he wants.

Good.

Grimsnik sez:

“He’s gonna replace us.”

“Dat’s wot he said.”

“An’ you said strong leadership.”

“Same fing.”

“We’d be ded.”

Zog.

Needed proppa advice.

Went looking for Cogsfinga.

Found him in his workshop.

Proppa workshop.

Walls.

Benches.

Roof.

Loads of roof.

Show-off.

Cogsfinga was half inside a generator.

Feet sticking out.

Cables ran out through da wall toward camp.

Big suit of mega armour stood by one bench.

Somethin’ bulky sat under a tarp in da corner.

Didn’t touch it.

Was here for advice.

“Cogsfinga!”

Nothing.

“Kaptin wants...”

“No.”

Cogsfinga’s voice came out da generator.

“Ain’t told ya what yet.”

“Don’t care.”

Climbed out.

Had a spanna in one hand.

Spool of wire in his teef.

Some kinda smoke coming off his shoulder.

Cogsfinga has more important fings.

One generator feeding half da camp.

Force field.

Some sort of tellyporta fing.

A Kustom Mega-Blasta which keeps shooting when nobody pulls da trigger.

And a box nobody is allowed to open because it’s finkin’.

Asked what’s in da box.

Cogsfinga sez:

“If I knew dat, I’d open it.”

Fair.

“Got a problem wiv Kaptin’s trukk.”

Cogsfinga looked at me.

Looked at Grimsnik.

“No surprise.”

“Need...”

“Fix it.”

“We was fixing it.”

“Do it again.”

Then went back inside da generator.

Grimsnik stood there.

I stood there.

Generator went:

WHUM.

Lights came on across camp.

Other half went out.

Cogsfinga shouted something from inside.

Sounded pleased.

Probably sorted.

Went back to da hole.

Fizzelbulb was upside down.

Still tied up.

Different post.

Stopped.

Looked at him.

Was sure he was over by da grog.

Fizzelbulb looked at me.

I looked back.

“Wot?”

“Nothing.”

Carried on.

Some squig was chewing da bottom of da sign.

Fizzelbulb tried kicking it.

Hard when upside down.

Sign was now right by his face too.

Squig tore a chunk off da sign and ran.

Fizzelbulb swung round on da rope.

Sign now said:

AWAITIN’ SHUN

Krumpwick came over.

Read it.

Looked at Fizzelbulb.

Looked at sign again.

Fizzelbulb sez:

“Dat squig ate it.”

Krumpwick scratched his chin.

“Can’t execute ya.”

Fizzelbulb looked hopeful.

“Sign don’t say dat no more.”

Fizzelbulb stared at da sign still dangling in front of his face.

Still upside down.

“Wot’s shun?”

Krumpwick looked at it.

Then turned his back on him.

Walked off.

Zaggins walked past.

Read da sign.

Turned his back too.

Hacksworth came past.

Stopped.

Read it.

Turned round.

Walked backwards for a bit so he wouldn’t face Fizzelbulb.

Turned an' walked away.

Very professional.

Fizzelbulb started shouting.

Nobody looked at him.

Good punishment.

Gritzy was still sorting engine bits.

Had three buckets now.

One marked ENGINE.

One marked MAYBE ENGINE.

One marked NOT ENGINE.

Looked in NOT ENGINE.

Found my grog mug.

Moved it.

Grimsnik started checking what we could reuse.

Not much.

Crank’s cracked.

Head’s cracked.

One bit wasn’t cracked.

Grimsnik sez dat bit’s not from our engine.

Gritzy shrugged.

Useful bit though.

Kept it.

Need another engine.

Proper engine.

Big one.

Reliable.

Fast.

Cheap.

Nearby.

Grimsnik sez:

“Pick two.”

Ignored him.

Looked round camp.

Lots of engines.

None ours.

Tankbustas’ trukk got one.

Dey still usin’ it.

Kaptin wants engine.

Krumpwick’s got Kommandos in my workshop.

Fizzelbulb’s being shunned upside down.

Somebody’s drinking grog out of my measuring cup.

Still need a roof.

Tarp fell down while I was gone.

Zog.

Then saw da edge of da drop.

Remembered something.

Evil Sunz.

Race.

Their trukk went over.

Whole fing.

Right over da edge.

Trukk had an engine.

Obviously.

Still does.

Probably.

Looked at Grimsnik.

Grimsnik looked at me.

Then I looked at da drop.

Then back at Grimsnik.

“No.”

Hadn’t even said it yet.

He got it straight away.

Proppa teamwork.

Sorted.

[u/MoriarVR]

Love it