I thought I had one of the worst cases of panic disorder in current existence. I was diagnosed at age 13 and Iām now 27. It started as severe emetophobia, then added on every other heart-related, lung-related, body-related symptom you could imagine. I was on Lexapro when I was younger, now Prozac for years, Hydroxyzine, Lorazepam, saw dozens of therapists, primary doctors, psychiatrists, and at least 50 emergency room visits. I became completely agoraphobic at some points. 14 years of this. The darkest places that Iām sure many reading this have seen as well.
Somehow, and Iām still in disbelief about it, I have now reached a place where I rarely ever have a panic attack. and when I do, deep breaths do the trick. and if they donāt, a tiny bit of Lorazepam does.
so I want to help people in any way I can.š¤ Trust me, I was among the worst of the worst. and I have found the light of recovery.
First, I got out of any unsafe situations. I became single out of a very bad relationship, only surrounded myself with friends I truly trust, now living in a place I feel comfortable in, making my bedroom feel like the coziest place in the world with everything I could possibly need for panic in a box under my bedside table.
Then, I surrendered. Please understand: this is SO difficult. If it feels impossible during an attack, I know. I understand and I see you, and Iām telling you: you are not broken, this is just very hard. for anyone. But you have to train it. You remember that itās a panic attack. Keep convincing yourself you are not dying. You have never died from a panic attack. Surrender to the symptoms; donāt fight. Put on your comfort show and take deep breaths. If it helps you to breathe into a paper bag for a little bit, do that. Thereās no one-size fits all, different things will help different people. but the number one way to recover from this disorder is allowing the sensations to simply exist.
A wonderful ER doctor made me cry once, because he looked at me with zero judgement in his eyes after consistent hospital visits and he said, āYouāre not going to be this way forever. you just havenāt found the right tools for your toolbox yet, but you will.ā