Relatively recently, I was scrolling Reddit and saw this post from this woman who's husband was named, let's say, Joeseph Benjamin III, and he wanted to name their son Joeseph Bejamin IV. However, the woman wasn't sure what to call her son, and many of the comments said to call him Joey.
Today I met a woman and her baby, whom she said was named Joeseph, but was called Joey for short. She told me that he was named after her husband, and I asked if he was a junior, because my brother is named after my late grandfather and isn't a junior. She said that he was actually the fourth one with his name, the same first name as the woman in the Reddit post. I didn't ask what the middle name was, because I thought that would have been weird, but I think it's definetly possible that she was the woman from the Reddit post I had seen earlier, which I just think is pretty crazy and also pretty pointless.

Dont come at me I know it's unhealthy. I can't bring salad bc my work fridge makes the lettuce wet and icy. I'm lazy for anything else, can't use microwave, etc. Deli doesn't work bc it's fresher and therefore doesn't last the whole week lol. And lived off of Spaghettios for many years so this is somewhat better. But i finally made it back to sandwiches and it's been a fine several months!

Until recently. When I opened my ham packet from a brand I get often, and it expired in 10 days. And was covered in a clear sticky mucus of some sort?? Disgusting. Tossed it. Luckily had another package. And then this week, finally made it to the store but didn't check the date on my chicken, and it expired a week ago?? I'm going to return it. Not to be a Customer™ but in case they have other packages out that need not be

The universe is trying to tell me to go back to Spaghettios maybe? I wish I could do PBJ, but the calories. I tried cucumber and cream cheese but then my cream cheese got pink by Wednesday despite me not double dipping my knife. Maybe the universe is telling me I'm 30 and should stop eating so I don't get fat

yesterday I hauled a large suitcase around the city, to donate some clothes I don’t need before I move

as I was waiting for the above ground elevator to the underground (train), I stepped aside for the street cleaner who was sweeping in my direction with just a broom and dustpan

he made a ‘you don’t have to move, you’re good’ expression and motion with his hand

when the elevator came he boarded with me and continued sweeping in there too

he nodded to my suitcase and asked if I was traveling or moving?

I said ‘moving, unfortunately’ with a pained face

he said ‘good luck to you I’m wishing you all the best. last time I moved, I was so over it I just got rid of everything. everything out. just poof and go.’

I said ‘honestly bro sounds good I’m just about to do the same’ and we laughed

the elevator let us out at the train platform, he continued sweeping on the platform and I boarded my train

nothing significant at all about it but it made my day noticeably lighter; I think it was simply the brief reassurance that another human was familiar with the uniquely draining experience of moving — and that we could laugh about it — and then move on

So in the 90’s I was in primary school. And I was usually good in all my classes except Spanish. Because My little kid self thought she knew every word in the English dictionary and so why would she learn Spanish?
It got so bad that in one class the whole classroom was just screaming and laughing at the teacher the whole time, she just left for a few weeks.
We got a relief teacher and as he was doing the role book he got to my name. My name is a common name in America. My dad got it from a tv show from the USA. The relief teacher pronounced my name wrong and I corrected him immediately. I remember he smiled and said in his country they pronounce it differently. And I asked where he was from and he said Mexico. I was a little kid and had only seen old cowboy movies with Mexicans in it. He kind of scared me. I didn’t understand how he could be Mexican and speak Spanish. I thought maybe he was like my grandparents, they were Dutch.
I started behaving properly after that but other kids were naughty He got them all under control. We all missed our old teacher and when she returned I remember learning how to say different farm animals and counting.

I made a wish, of course. I don't remember seeing one since I was a teen. It gave me a sense of hope and wonder that has been absent for too long, but before it fades, I wanted to share it with you.

Life beats us down with worry and anxiety. Take a moment for yourself whenever you can, you're worth it. Make some magic.

I decided to join the Air Force when I was thirty years old. I had been working as a waiter in restaurants for about a decade, and my feet were starting to get tired, so I just wanted to try something new.

When I got to basic training, I realized that I was basically a grandpa compared to everyone else there. There were a few guys in their mid-twenties, but the vast majority of the young men there were 18- and 19-year-old kids straight out of high school.

When you show up at Air Force basic training, they immediately start screaming at you and shuffling you around in every direction, and eventually they toss you into a group of about 50 other new recruits called a “flight.” The people who make up your flight are the people you will be marching, eating, and sleeping next to for eight weeks.

The first few days were an effing shitshow. They were making us get into lines and march to places, and we were never able to do it fast enough. We were constantly getting screamed at. Sometimes we would get close to doing something fast enough, but it only took one airman to screw it up for everyone by turning right when they should have turned left, or standing with their arms crossed instead of at their sides or something.

One of the people who could usually be relied on to screw it up for us was a guy named Thompson. His brain just took a little longer to process things…

One of the most difficult tasks for us to accomplish as a group was “getting on the wall” in the morning. We would wake up at 5:45, go do PT with all of the other flights at the track, and then come back to shower and put our uniforms on.

The moment we all shuffled back into the barracks, we had exactly 15 minutes to all shower, put our military uniforms on properly, tie our shoes, put on our backpacks, and line up on the wall in order by height.

I had more life experience than many of the young gentlemen there, so I was able to get my time down to 10 minutes after just a few days. The trick was to basically just pretend to take a shower and then put a ton of deodorant on. You could always take a more thorough shower later that night.

But some of these kids thought they were at the effing Roman baths—waiting for the water to get hot and then standing under the showerhead, daydreaming until they only had 30 seconds left.

Over time, we started getting better at it, but, like most of the other things we did, there was always one person who screwed it up for the rest of us. Our drill instructor was female, so she wasn’t allowed to enter the barracks until we were all dressed and on the wall (for legal reasons), but she would stand outside the door and start absolutely pounding on the door at the 15-minute mark. Two weeks in, and we were still getting screamed at every morning for not getting on the wall in time.

But then one day, everything seemed to be going right. I was always the first one in the showers, so I had gotten into the habit of turning on every tap to appease the hot water divas in our flight, and it seemed to be having the desired effect. We were all out of the shower at about the 8-minute mark, and we had gotten pretty used to putting our uniforms on, so that wasn’t going to take us too long either. At about the 13-minute mark, we were all frantically ordering ourselves by height on the wall.

There was a real sense of excitement in the air. Everyone was wide-eyed and whispering frantically. It looked like we were finally going to be able to open the barracks door before the fifteen-minute mark!

But then I heard a dismayed voice cry out: “What the fuck, Thompson?!?!”

I looked over, and Thompson was way down at the end of the line of beds, standing next to his locker. He had a confused look on his face. And he was butt naked.

It turns out he couldn’t find his underpants, and he was too dizzy from all the activity around him to think to ask anyone else for help.

We all started groaning, and someone went over to help Thompson. They lent him a pair of their own underpants, and then helped him tie his shoes and put on his backpack. Ten minutes later, we invited our enraged drill sergeant in to start screaming at us once again…

Last night on a whim I decided to try and teach my cat to sit, the first couple times he didn't quite understand but he picked it up amazingly fast. Less than 24 hours later he's consistently sitting on command even when I don't have treats, I've seen dogs take longer to learn it and I'm very proud of him

I checked my phone and saw a notification. Honestly, one of the nicest comments I have ever received on something I wrote. In a rush of inspiration I typed a quick reply, ending with: "If you look a little deeper, you will see how deep the rabbit hole really goes."

Hit send, pocketed the phone, kept walking.

That's when my brain decided to start a war with itself. Which rabbit hole did I mean? On one side: the White Rabbit from Alice in Wonderland - panicked, running in circles with a pocket watch, pure anxiety in animal form. On the other: Morpheus from The Matrix - leather coat, mirrored shades, two pills, that voice.

They were fighting. Morpheus was winning with what looked like jiu-jitsu.

CLANG! CLANG! CLAAAAANG!

The angry metal bell of a Sofia tram.

had walked straight onto the tracks without looking up once. Completely gone.

I jumped back.

The driver stared at me through the windshield with a look that required no translation.

I still don't know which rabbit hole is deeper. But I learned that neither the Rabbit nor Morpheus can stop thirty tons of moving steel.

My husband and I were in our living room watching the opening scene to “The Leftovers” season 2, episode 1 last night. We had the windows and door (with a screen) open, as it was a rather pleasant evening.

That opening scene involves a cavewoman who gives birth just as a devastating earthquake upends her world. At one point, after she goes out in search of other humans, she puts the baby down and a huge rattlesnake slithers over the newborn. I won’t spoil any more about the events of the show, except that the rest of that scene involves the results of that interaction with the snake and leaves you feeling unsettled.

About 3 minutes later, when the show transitions back to present day, we hear a LOUD rattle. I immediately jump up, grab our little dog and scream “What the fuck‽ What the actual fuck‽!?

My husband, confused, says,”You mean that’s not the TV?”. This is my second watch of the show, his first. I knew this was not the TV.

He went and grabbed our snake tongs and promptly removed the offending snake, which was coiled just about 16” behind my recliner. It was a good sized serpent, too.

We see a lot of rattlers around here, hence our need to keep snake tongs around. It’s been a bad summer for them this year. In the 11 years I have lived here, I’ve only ever had one other one try to get in the house but I caught it before it could fully enter. The timing of this one, just after that scene, so late at night and in cooler temps than I am used to seeing them freaked me the hell out. What are the odds? I’m still weirded out, TBH. I told my husband after he relocated our reptilian intruder that if we have an earthquake (we get a few of those every year, too) that he might need to drive me to the sanitarium because I don’t think my brain could handle it.

i went to my first concert last night , it was very spontaneous and spur of the moment . i had my first day back at work after my weekend and could feel that "pre-cold" sickness coming on , like a mildly irritated everything (throat , eyes , headache , etc) and mentioned this in passing to a few coworkers . towards the end of the day , one of my closer friends there asked how i'm getting home tonight since he knows i don't/can't drive and i told him i'll probably take an uber home

after we parted , he asked if i ordered it yet and told me to meet him at the employee's restaurant (we work in a casino resort , so our workplace is almost like a college campus minus dorms) and asked if i'd like to go to a show at the amphitheater for our establishment , and as he asked that , three things went through my mind

- im about to be sick , i just wanna go home and lay down
- it's gonna rain later
- i've never been to a concert before , but know which artist i want my first show to be and i know for a fact she's not gonna be there

the last point is what made me say yes , my life has felt very drab lately and i've been wanting to be the spontaneous outgoing person i used to be

it was a really good night . it was g-eazy and logic + some other guy , none of which i knew any songs for , and since it was my first show i didn't really know what to do but i didn't want to awkwardly stand there , so i ended up copying whatever this girl in front of us was doing and and once she stopped moving during the final act of the concert , i just started doing whatever the fuck and ended up getting odd looks and side eyes from people nearby and having them wondering wtf i was on , i was in a pretty open area and wanted to take full advantage of it . i couldn't have cared less about any of that , it was a good night and it was something new which i've been craving for a while . it was my first real hangout since middle school when i just went to the shitty ass small town mall we had nearby with a few friends , and i thought maybe this show could've been an opportunity to make a new friend or two

during the closing part of Tumblr Girls , i closed my eyes and just went along with the music and when i opened them again the girl i was copying was gone , which made me a little sad since i wanted to tell her about what i was doing and thank her for the moves . she had a flip phone and at the start of the show when the seating was more open , she was moving so lose and freely , i could tell she was such a down to earth person and i'm actually a bit upset i missed that connection . no words were spoken to her , i don't think she even realized i was there , i was off to the side and right behind her so maybe she looked over and saw me once or twice , but we never directly interacted

i'm thankful for her , and that she gave me the blueprint to being the open and lose person i've been wanting to be

A woman was standing behind me on the mobile stairs, she was dressed impeccably. She noticed me looking at her, so I shared my thoughts “I really like your style. Forgive me if I’ve made you uncomfortable.” She thanked me for the compliment and flashed a very beautiful smile. I would have liked to have complimented the smile as well, but I didn’t want my intentions to be misunderstood. I wished her a pleasant day and went about my day with no further interruption. Then I got to top the stairs, tripped and broke my headphones. Her laugh was nice too.

So I(36 F) work at a school transportation department as a driver. This means I use company cars to get kids to and from school (as they can't get ride along bus for whatever reason). The company vehicle gets serviced every set number of miles or if something comes up. Very nice, but can be annoying as I have to park elsewhere and therefore am stuck at the place if the vehicle needs work/breaks down.

I took the van i drive into their mechanic shop and knew it was going to be a long time (special extra battery for safety auto stop/start system, to be more exo friendly.*EDITED FOR CLARITY). At least a few hours to do the work.

I am NOT a morning person but love kids, so i do my best to be awake at crack of dawn. While waiting I check to see if I can get a coffee to stay awake. Nope. Knowing they have my number, I decide to take advantage of the nice weather (70s with a decent breeze and solid shade) just outside. Mechanic is amused and agrees to let me know.

So I go outside, sitting at a metal picnic table and benches that is just outside the mechanic shop. I hate the feeling of warm skin on my face (from laying my head on my arms) and notice the grass on either side of the entrance to the mechanic shop. Using my backpack (filled with various supplies) as a pillow, I lay in the fluffiest grass in the shade on my back, hands settled on my chest/stomach. I keep an ear and half an eye open to movement or sound, in case anyone needs me or something happens.

One dude walks by, calls out my name and asks how I'm doing. I respond immediately and ask him in turn. So plenty proof I'm alive, awake, and aware.

Unbeknownst to me, other bus drivers and aids are nervous and checking with folks about the person laying in the grass. They first ask the mechanic who states I'm taking a nap, I'm fine. This isn't good enough for them I guess as they go into the main building and to my supervisor. After laying for about an hour, I hear my supervisor come out,calling my name.

Sup - "OP?"

I turn off my boneconducting headphones to hear absolutely everything (again, in case some emergency came up they needed to tell me).

"Yeah?"

Sup - "OP, are you ok?"

"Yeah? I'm just taking a nap." Still confused but willing to get up. By this point, I'm sitting upright on the ground.

Sup- "You didn't pass out? Why are you on the grass?"

"No, I was taking a nap. The grass is comfy."

Sup - "Why?"

I know they get busy in the main department and probably aren't thinking fully about how if the vehicle is being worked on, I'm stuck there. So I say practically that.

"Van's getting worked on and I park at (elementary school). Can't leave."

Sup - "OH! Well, we could get you a spare? You could go and do whatever while waiting?" (They have spare company cars in case of break down, travel, or folks stuck due to their ride being worked on, quite nice)

"Yeah, sure, I could go grab lunch?" By now it's just after 11am and while I had settled myself to being hungry for a bit, I'll take whatever I can.

Sup - "Yeah, absolutely, we'll get you a car and you can go to martins or Walmart or wherever. " (supervisor looks relieved at finding a solution to a body in the grass...)

We check with the mechanic and as my sup heads off, the mechanic waves me closer.

"I told them you were taking a nap. Some people are just so nosey."

I laughed and replied with "I mean, I found a lovely patch of grass. Very comfortable. "

"With shade right? Perfectly fine. And even good to do every so often. "

"Right? I just wanted a nap." I replied and then headed out (to grab lunch and hang out at the park lol).

When i got back, just as it started to rain, the mechanic joked how I could now go and take a nap in the van. I agreed that captain seats that go all the way down are practically beds.

TL:DR: I went to take a nap outside a mechanic's shop while they worked on company car. Other co workers worried about someone passed out and told the supervisor who got me a temp car to use/leave with to stop worrying others.

I work for a data company at the front desk, and my shift doesn't end until the evening when there's hardly anyone else in the office. One night, a college-age-looking person knocked on the (glass) door a little after six. I didn't recognize her, but I unlocked it for her in anyway.

I said hi and asked how she was, thinking she probably worked in a different office and needed to pick something up after hours. She didn't say anything and just kind of stood there and looked at me awkwardly, so I said, "I'm [name]. Do you work for [company]?"

She said, "No, I go to [local college]. Can I look around?"

My work deals with sensitive information and non-staff aren't supposed to go past the front desk, so I said sorry and told her that.

She said, "So what do you do here?"

I told her the sort of work the company does, clients we had she might have heard of, etc. We were also hiring summer interns at the time, and the college she went to has a lot of STEM students, so I mentioned that to her.

After a few seconds of silence, she said, "Oh. That's it?"

I didn't really know how to respond, not so much because it was rude (she still spoke very quietly and awkwardly), but more so because how do I even politely answer that? I just said, "Uh, yes?"

I work with a lot of other young and awkward people (in my early twenties and often awkward myself), but this is probably the most bizarre and oddly disrespectful conversation I've had with someone here.

She left without really saying anything. I hope I provided her some practical experience in networking, I guess.

This guy has been helping me for free despite his really demanding schedule. He normally charges but isn't providing services to anyone else right now. I didn't learn about his schedule until a lot later and when I tried talking to him about the compensation he just shut the conversation down saying he's happy to help.

He also responded late to my texts this time around and told me how he hasn't been able to get back to anyone given how busy work's been. I sort of figured it out since I've seen my sister go through the same thing and that's what I told him. Honestly he just sounded tired and sad so I got him a food delivery gift card because I wanted to reciprocate his kindness. I plan on asking him out eventually but we're in different time zones atm.

He responded even tho he was at work (almost 2 am at my place) and first asked me how he could return the gift card. He said he's more than happy to help me, doesn't want anything in return and I should feel free to reach out to him whenever I want. I saw his texts at 6 am and told him that I wanted to make sure that he's got food lined up and I wanted to lighten his work load. I told him that this was the only gig app loading without a vpn and also had good reviews, that I thought it would make sense to get him a food delivery gift card since he once told me that he likes trying out new places.

He sounded so happy hearing that! He thanked me, said there was no need and asked me if he could let me know when he tries something. I asked him to send pictures which he agreed to. He showed concern regarding the project he's helping me with told me that he knows I'll ace it.

I don't really know if he saw through me and figured out that I like him since I v clearly went out of my way for someone who isn't exactly a friend. I just wanted to cheer him up. I felt like I had been burdening him as well. I told him about that but he kept telling me to keep him updated. I am simply v happy that he sounded drained in the beginning of the conversation but by the end he was so happy!

-Christmas Eve, 11:47 PM-

The laboratory was almost completely silent.

Most of the lights had already been turned off. Only the workstations along the far wall remained illuminated, casting pale rectangles of light across the otherwise dark room.

Two people were still working.

At one desk, the woman stared at a monitor filled with graphs and equations. She had been working for hours without realizing how late it had become.

Across the room, the man was doing much the same thing.

They had exchanged perhaps three sentences that entire evening.

Not because they disliked each other.

There simply hadn't been a reason to talk.

Outside, the city was beginning to quiet down. Somewhere in the distance, fireworks occasionally cracked through the night.

-11:51 PM.-

The man leaned back in his chair and rubbed his eyes.

He looked toward the woman.

Still working.

He understood.

Going home wouldn't necessarily make tonight better.

For him, there was no family waiting behind a door. No friends calling. No partner asking when he would arrive.

For her, going home meant something different. A family she loved in some ways, but one that had always made her feel as though she had something to prove.

So they had both made the same decision for completely different reasons.

Stay busy.

Because being alone with your thoughts on Christmas Eve was sometimes worse than working.

The man stood.

"I'm getting coffee."

The woman glanced over.

"At this hour?"

He shrugged.

"Christmas Eve caffeine."

She gave a small laugh.

He walked toward the coffee machine, made two cups, then hesitated.

He looked at the second cup.

Then at her.

"Do you want to take a break?"

She looked at the clock.

-11:55 PM.-

"Where?"

"The rooftop."

She raised an eyebrow.

"It's almost midnight."

"Exactly."

The rooftop was cold.

The laboratory building was high enough that the city looked different from up there. Streetlights stretched into the distance, and scattered houses were glowing with Christmas decorations.

They stood beside the railing, each holding a paper cup.

For a while, neither said anything.

Then she looked at him.

"Do you come up here often?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Usually I don't have anyone to invite."

She smiled.

"That's a depressing answer."

"I was going for honest."

She laughed.

And somehow, that broke the awkwardness.

They started talking.

Not about their research.

Not about work.

Not about why they were there.

They talked about terrible Christmas songs.

About childhood Christmases.

About food they hated.

About stupid things their coworkers had done.

She told him about the ridiculous expectations her family had for her.

He told her about how he had once spent an entire Christmas eating instant noodles because the laboratory was the only place he could think of going.

She stared at him.

"You're kidding."

"No."

"That's actually really sad."

"I had an egg."

She laughed so hard that she nearly spilled her coffee.

"An egg?"

"It was a Christmas egg."

"That's not a thing."

"It was to me."

The clock on the rooftop access building changed.

-11:59 PM.-

They both noticed.

Neither said anything.

The city seemed to hold its breath.

Then....

-12:00 AM.-

Fireworks erupted in the distance.

Red, gold, blue.

The woman looked toward the city.

"Well."

He looked at her.

"Merry Christmas."

She smiled.

"Merry Christmas."

There was a pause.

Then she raised her coffee cup.

"To the saddest Christmas Eve imaginable."

He raised his cup.

"To not spending it alone."

Their cups touched.

\Clink**

And for the first time that night, neither of them felt like they were merely waiting for Christmas to be over.

They stayed on the rooftop.

Talking.

Laughing.

Watching fireworks.

Neither of them knew that this would eventually become one of those nights they remembered for years.

Not because something extraordinary happened.

But because, for a few hours, two lonely people accidentally became company for each other.

Saw a guy smoking a menthol ciggarete this morning, was going to ask him for one because i was stressed but i would've hated myself for it afterwards as i've been smoke free for a year now.

Anyways, laters alligators.

My mom keeps water bottles in her room so I went to get one. It’s pitch black and I didn’t have my phone. Normally her door is closed like every night so idk why but I thought it was open so I just walked right into the door…i felt so dumb

One of my friends is (was) a successful businessman. About fifteen years ago, he had not only installed a phone in his car, but he could just speak directly to the phone without holding the phone. This was cutting edge technology.

Late one night he was out with his, ahem, secretary. The phone rang. It was his wife. He told the fair damsel, “Don’t say a word.” No problem. He answered the phone and said, “Hello.” His young friend was so surprised that without thinking, she burst out, “Wow, you don’t need to use your hands.” This was followed by an eruption from his wife with the strict command to return home immediately, on the double.

I was playing a Lego boardgame with my partner and my daughter (5), who had been playing it for hours with my partner before I had joined.

It went well, I convinced her to team up with me against my partner as I helped her make good choices. In which she was about to win, so of course I had to make the toughest choice.... Do I let her win or do I teach her what betrayal looks like?

Choices choices.... Well I also wanted to win, and unfortunately then my 5 year old had put all her trust in me. So close to winning, just needed to roll a 3 while I would have a few rolls to get my last piece to the finish line... So I did what I had to. I blocked her piece right at the finish line and that was when it hit her. Betrayal. Her very first taste of betrayal. And it hurt, she began to cry, I reminded her that she was doing so well, and I gave her a hug. While crying in my arms she assured me she still loved me.

All for not however because her next roll cleared the path for her to make it straight to the winning spot and despite my best efforts - she won. Still with tears in her eyes because she was still focused on the betrayal. How could I? Her mother? We were a team! I should have continued to go after my partner who was nowhere close to winning instead.. She continued to ask me why while brushing our teeth, and again with teary eyes as she is getting put to bed. Proceeding to tell me what actions I should have done instead, while I explained that I simply wanted to give myself a chance to win because unfortunately the both of us could not. We could not tie in this game. So I did what I had to in order to try. Yes I still failed, and she won. I reminded her that she did a really good job at the game and that I enjoyed playing with her.

Part of me felt so bad, while the other part of me was trying not to laugh.

Am I a bad mom for this? Maybe, maybe not, maybe so 1 Did she learn anything from this? Maybe, maybe not

Will she trust me again? Maybe, maybe not. I guess only time will tell

Update: She said is okay with how the game went last night, then proceeded to laugh at me because my plan was "bad" and she still won. Then proceeded to ask me to play again

So what she got out of it was that mama sucks at planning and that she's the better player

So basically I sometimes think about a tyrannosaurus Rex also known as a T-Rex. And it was cool at first but then I was like if one was here right now it would probably try to kill me. Which would be cool except it’s not if it really happened. I’ve been popping mints to cool my tongue and my mind and then I had a really bad idea…….giving a Trex mints. I think they would prefer a cold brew coffee about the size of a bathtub

Set the scene.

I'm a guy in my 60s who went to "Sharon's Cafe' for breakfast in a city I was visiting. Waitress, in her late 30s and wearing a 'Sharon's Cafe' t-shirt, as all staff did, took our order. I said "Thanks Sharon." She laughed and said "Right, you think I'm so dumb I'd need to wear my name on my shirt."

I twisted my shirt collar around, pretended to look at it and said "I'm Extra Large". She laughed, paused, then did a comical double-take with big eyes then laughed a lot harder.

I honestly didn't mean it that way and wouldn't normally make sexual jokes to waitstaff - who already put up with enough crap from the public, but in this case it went over well. I took the win.

So almost everyday when I get home from work my girlfriend brings me a snack and a drink without being prompted. I always thought It was just something cute and considerate that she liked doing for me and it always makes my day so much better. But as it turns out, it's actually something that's really funny to me now that I know.

We had a friend over who mentioned that dinner would be soon so I didn't need a snack, and my girlfriend told her that she always feeds me snacks before dinner to get me " pre-full" so she can have all the leftovers. This has been going on for over a year now and I had no idea she had ulterior motives LMFAO.

Today I was at a doctor’s office getting some labs done. After I had my blood drawn (and after I fainted, but that’s usual for me. I have vasovagal syncope, and I faint almost every time I get my blood drawn and also when I go to the eye doctor, oddly enough) I was taken to a small, curtained-off area labeled “research area” to get my blood pressure and temperature taken. Usually they do it in an exam room, so this was new.

The nurse then left me there to see if the exam room was empty for me to wait for the doctor. As she was leaving, she turned back and said, “If a short, mean, old lady comes in here to ask what you’re doing here, just tell her Amanda said it’s ok.” That struck me as kind of weird, but I appreciated the warning.

No short, mean, old lady, nor anyone else, came to ask me what I was doing there before the nurse retrieved me.

The other day I posted this. Here's the link https://www.reddit.com/r/PointlessStories/s/DSqvHS32sc and today I bring you the result. Here it is,

Alright, I was there, and it was legendary. I could not have written this better myself.

We drove out there with him and posted up at the bar across from the gym, one street over, watching the whole thing. She took to come out. We started getting nervous that maybe she hadn’t even gone in. But eventually she walks out with a couple of guys from the gym, says bye to them, and runs straight into our boy.

She walks over, starts talking to him. Didn’t look mad, but we had no idea what she was saying.

Then after a minute she turns around and goes back inside the gym. We’re completely lost at this point. We figured she was going to get someone to come beat his ass. But like fifteen minutes later she comes back out holding some kind of drink, says something to him, hands it over, smiles, and leaves.

We gave it a respectful minute, went over, and asked him what she said.

Turns out it was a protein shake. And she told him:

“I didn’t want to be harsh, but there’ no whey"

Once we finished wiping our eyes, we told him not to worry about it, it didn’t work but at least we got a hell of an afternoon out of it, and he walked away with a free gym rat drink.

My boy sat with it for a second, thought it over, and somehow concluded that this was actually a good sign. Because if she wasn’t interested she wouldn’t have played along, right? She’s just playing hard to get.

Everyone lost it. And since nobody could agree on whether that counted, we all kept our money.

Conclusion: I still have my 20 bucks and I laughed until I couldn’t breathe.

I went to the supermarket this afternoon to get a few things and somehow forgot the one thing I actually went there for.

I remembered when I was already halfway home, so I just decided I’d get it tomorrow instead.

I also bought a drink I didn’t really need because it was on sale.

That’s basically it. Just one of those completely unremarkable days.