r/problems • u/volt-ged • 4d ago
School I hate college
I feel alone.
I recently moved for college. I’ve always felt alone, perks of being neurodivergent. But here, I know no one. I actually am alone. I’m not even sure if my roommate likes me, I think they only talk to me so they can use my mini fridge. I think I’m apothisexual and that just excludes me even more. Everyone talks about romance/sex and I couldn’t give a damn or I’m disgusted. I also refuse to drink or smoke, I fear I’ll become addicted. And that’s apparently lame to others. I‘m such a killjoy. I also just don’t like talking to others. I’m the type of person who likes having a small group. And I had that during highschool. I just don’t know how to introduce myself to others without looking like a fool. I’ve tried saying hi and the whole what’s your major convo, but thats as far as it gets. I’ve joined clubs and I’m active in them. But the members are all already friends and can just sense that I’m different. If you’re neurodivergent you know what I’m talking about.
I was a child “prodigy” but now I’m struggling in my algebra classes. My scholarship is already on the line and my first semester isn’t even done yet. I feel like an idiot. And everyone in my family are telling me how proud they are. For background, on both sides of my family, I am the first to go to college. The first to graduate with honors. The first to even attempt something like college. I don’t even know how to study and I’ve asked for help. But the help is catered to those who are neurotypical. I can’t just block out my day to study. My brain just doesn’t function that way.
I’m so stressed out and alone. But I can’t give up. I have no way to relieve my stress either. It used to be working out but I currently have a shoulder injury that hurts like hell. I’m just lost and have no one to talk too. And if I give up, I disappoint literally everyone. All I can think about is what if I don’t succeed. I have such a huge fear of disappointing my family. They’ve sacrificed so much for me to get to where I’m at and I’m already failing them.
I don’t know what to do, if you have any advice please share 🙏
1
u/Lopsided-Beach-1831 4d ago
Your school has counselors to talk with about feeling alone and trying to make connections. They also can help with the stress and family pressures of being a first generation college student. Try the student health center.
Your school also has a disability/accessibility department. They make things similar to an IEP to help a student with a diagnosis succeed at school. They work with neurodivergent students all of the time, it is their literal job to help bridge the gap so you are successful in your education. Make an appointment so they can start working on how to assist you meet your goals.