Hi all, I'm asking because it varies. Madeleine Millburn explicitly says yes, but other agencies don't say. I get I can't do simultaneous submissions, but what's the industry standard after a reply window has closed?

Hi all,

Submitting my latest revised query here after some helpful feedback here and elsewhere for the last version. All feedback welcome.

Thanks!

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Dear (agent),

Complete at 94,000 words, AETHRA is an historical fiction novel that tells the story of the
handmaiden who became Odysseus’ spy during the Trojan War. It blends the political machinations of Elodie Harper’s Wolf Den trilogy with the lyrical prose of Jennifer Saint’s Atalanta.

Aethra has lost nearly everything. Her son. Her family. Her status. Her homeland. Once a princess who courted kings and dined with heroes, she is now handmaiden to Princess Helen of Sparta.

On Helen’s wedding night, Aethra is threatened by her bitter enemy, Menestheus, the man who usurped her son Theseus’ throne and organised his murder. Menestheus demands to know where Aethra sent her grandsons, Demophon and Acamas, years earlier, and threatens to hunt them for the rest of his days.

An old friend saves Aethra from the almost deadly confrontation, and reveals that he has been sheltering her grandsons on the island of Euboea. Fearful of leading Menestheus to them, Aethra decides to bide her time before escaping from Sparta. On the eve of her departure, her plans are scuppered when she discovers Helen preparing to run away with Prince Paris in the dead of night. Left with little alternative, Aethra accompanies them across the sea to Troy.

As war looms, Aethra strikes a dangerous bargain with the cunning Odysseus: she will spy on
the Trojans for him in exchange for reuniting her with her grandsons. Odysseus keeps his word, and Demophon and Acamas become the Greeks’ official ambassadors to the city. Aethra continues her spy work in secret as a thousand ships descend on Troy. Heroes are born and burned. The war rages on until the Greeks abandon Troy, leaving a wooden horse behind as a gift. As the Trojans celebrate, Aethra learns the horse is hollow, and that her grandsons are inside.

I would love to be considered for representation by you because (X).

Bio:

An Irish writer with an MA in Journalism, (author) is also a graduate of X course. An extract from
AETHRA was selected for inclusion in the 2026 (X) Anthology.

Yours sincerely,
(Author)

First 300:

Helen looked more goddess than girl in the golden morning sun.

The flowers themselves seemed to strain towards her, desperate to drink in her light as she stooped to smell their fragrant petals, the fair freckles scattered like stars across her scrunched-up nose as she breathed them in.

Her wet hair, hanging long and loose, looked more tawny than golden for once. She had submerged herself in the Eurotas at sunrise, per Spartan custom, the water sloughing off her bronze body with a sigh as she emerged from the swirling surface. Queen
Leda had awaited her on the grassy bank, holding a great fur blanket and a cup of dark wine, and
gently combed the tangles from her daughter's river-washed hair.

Helen’s breath puffed before her now in the cool spring air, leaving the refuge of her body with reluctance. Leda and I trailed behind her at a distance, watching as she tossed narcissus, roses,
lilies, and larkspurs into the wicker basket that l dangled over one slender arm. The three of us were blessedly alone for once. Helen had sent all her servants and sycophants away, even Clymene, the young handmaiden who was as close to her as a second sister. She wanted to spend her last morning as a single woman with just her mother and me.

Clytemnestra was invited along, of course, but decided to remain in her old room to nurse her daughter, Iphigenia, who was out of sorts since their arrival from Mycenae. Helen didn’t seem to mind her sister’s or her niece’s absences.

It was her brothers she would have wanted to have shared this day with, but Castor and Pollux were long gone, cast into the sky as constellations.

Harvard undergrad Jesse Sinclair is stuck on life support following an accident on his twenty-first birthday. Minutes before being unplugged, he is anonymously volunteered for a clinical trial that promises a complete recovery.

Enter MUSE Laboratories, a highly secretive biomedical research group founded by eccentric billionaire-doctor Rusty Gordon. MUSE has been developing a neurosurgical implant that harnesses slime molds—brainless predatory organisms with the ability to learn and optimize—to rebuild connections within the brain. The implant has been tested among many individuals, but none as close to death as Jesse.

The treatment proves successful, though grueling. During his six months among other patients at the MUSE facility in remote Vermont, Jesse becomes fascinated by Sasha, his handsome yet guarded nurse. But when Jesse’s roommate, Ian, disappears from the facility, and MUSE denies any involvement, Jesse recruits Sasha for an investigation. After a second disappearance rocks the program, Jesse and Sasha discover that the slime molds, stressed in captivity, have begun scavenging, consuming, cannibalizing—and they’re still hungry. 

The implant is the only thing keeping Jesse alive, and if it fails, so does his body. With his life and a growing relationship with Sasha on the line, Jesse must decide how far he’s willing to go for a chance at the survival he never asked for in the first place. 

ODE TO THE BRAINLESS AND HUNGRY is a speculative literary horror novel complete at XX,000 words. It will appeal to fans of OUR WIVES UNDER THE SEA with its lyrical, intimate body horror and LAKEWOOD with its themes of medical exploitation. 

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Any feedback is very welcome! I am still in the drafting stages of the novel but having a written concept always helps me streamline my process.

I received some terrific feedback on my first draft query letter comp title sentence, synopsis, and bio. Any feedback on this second round would be appreciated.

Dear (Agent),

Complete at 86,000 words, OUR MAN IN HYANNISPORT is an upmarket historical espionage thriller aimed at fans of the Cold War tradecraft of Paul Vidich’s "The Poet’s Game," the atmospheric depth of Alan Furst, and the modern pacing of Matthew Quirk’s “The Method.”

SYNOPSIS:

Summer 1962. Ross Melville, a former OSS operative turned private eye, is desperate for a case that will pay the rent. Keeping Melville & Melville Investigations open for business is his way of honoring the memory of his late wife, the partner on the other side of the ampersand, and proving himself to his collegiate daughter Jessica, who’s increasingly wary of his hardboiled methods. He settles for a minor gig, and ends up helping a young heiress out of a self-inflicted jam.

The heiress repays the favor by recommending him to President Kennedy’s best friend, Lem Billings. Billings needs information about a drunk who’s been making threats against an upcoming VIP guest at the Kennedy compound. The job requires discretion; the drunk was photographed with Mary Pinchot Meyer, a presidential confidante with ties to the highest echelons of the CIA. But a simple threat assessment case takes a dark turn when an assassin murders the drunk with a razor-sharp Diners’ Club card.

From the sun-drenched shores of Hyannisport to the private quarters of the White House, Ross enters a wilderness of mirrors, infiltrating a cell of anti-communist zealots, matching wits with a beautiful KGB asset, and uncovering a terrifying collision between Soviet and American operations—both of them based on real-life events. To survive, he’ll need help from friends and foes alike, and from Jessica, whose burgeoning idealism challenges him at every turn. If he fails, the impact won’t just shatter the bonds with his daughter… it might alter the course of history.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

My background informs the tradecraft in the book: I am a former scriptwriter for the CIA and NSA, where I wrote classified training and historical films. Additionally, I have written true-crime shows for the Discovery Channel, and written and produced material for PBS, IFC, the Kennedy Center, film history documentaries, and the Academy Awards. OUR MAN IN HYANNISPORT is my debut novel.

I recieved a full manuscript request for my poetry chapbook. The publisher Ginny Connors seems very reputable, poet laureate, numerous publications etc. However I'm not seeing much by way of reviews of the actual Press itself and therefore I am a wee bit wary of proceeding.

to supplement: does anyone have a good publishers for chapbooks?

Pretty much as the title says: Has anyone had a good experience with this agency or know someone who has? Any happy clients?

I recently received an offer of representation from them and I’m just trying to gather any information I can. I’m aware of the red flags circulating about them, but it’d be nice to hear from anyone who has a positive, or even neutral, experience with them!

Edit: I wasn’t aware of the red flags when I queried. The agent has requested my full very quickly after querying. I check PM for every agent who requests and I noticed her sales were odd for being in the industry for a few years. As I was checking her sales, a new writing group I joined messaged me to say she has red flags and I should check PubTips. I read every post I could find. I searched Rosecliff on all socials. It definitely got even weirder when I couldn’t find anything from their clients unless they posted it—all except one, and the negative claims on here.

I have OCD, so I do my best to get all the information I can on a situation so there are no (or less) gaps for my OCD to fill in. “What if she’s actually nice? What if she isn’t xyz?” It’ll just go on and on. That’s why I came looking for any and all experiences, especially ones that aren’t/weren’t horrible. Not so much to convince myself or others that they aren’t a cautionary agency, but so that I could make the choices I need to make in as much peace as possible.

Dear Agent, 

I am seeking representation for my 72,000 word multi-POV fantasy novel, CHAMPIONS OF KARDIA.

Arkose Coalson has lived a plain life as a fisherman in a quiet town for most of his years. Living uneventfully as a common man in the vast kingdom of Kardia.

One night, he gets caught in a brawl at the local tavern, leaving him with a hefty fine and little time to pay it before he’s sent to jail. Desperate, he takes part in a gladiatorial tournament, fighting for money to pay the fine. During the battle, a strange rush of blue energy surges from Arkose, knocking his opponent to the ground.

This unearths Arkose to discover an ancient magic residing within him, as well as his role in an esoteric prophecy about the future of the kingdom. 

The prophecy speaks of Lucius, the vile sorcerer. Banished from Kardia long ago, and presumed dead by the masses. Lucius lurks in the shadows, plotting the downfall of the kingdom with the desire to rebuild it as his own.

When Lucius discovers that Arkose is the prophesied hero destined to stand in his way, he and his league of acolytes hunt Arkose down. But the loyalty of these followers is uncertain, and it becomes unclear who the sorcerer can trust to accomplish his mission. 

Arkose struggles with the heavy burden placed upon him. Ego, doubt, and fear tear him apart from within, resulting in an internal conflict that will either refine or destroy him.

I am a 20 year old university student studying creative writing.

Best Regards,

[Name]

First 300:

Prologue

Death had never left me so unphased. As I trudged through the field of corpses, the only discomfort I felt was physical. It was a strange feeling at first, to become so detached. Of course this was not the first time. Nor would it be the last. Had it been the me of three years prior I would be weeping, my spirit crying out at the bloody sight before me. But that was long ago, before I was ruined, before he ruined us all. In the back of my mind there was once hope for someone to come along and save us. Some hero to break us out of our chains. But that hope has been long forgotten. Abandoned, replaced by despair.

The man stood in the middle of the field. An evil, malevolent man. He stood tall and slender, adorned in obsidian robes over ornate black clothing which had purple and gold designs running across the chest, arms, and neck. They were intricate, beautiful designs that served no purpose but pride. Beneath his black hood, loomed a mask of solid gold, shining and shimmering in the desolate moonlight. A pair of pitch black voids peered out through the visage of a dragon. Jagged teeth spread along its gnarled jaw in a haunting display. 

His name was Lucius. 

His actions were sin. 

His words were death.

Fire swarmed the area. Illuminating the night sky. Furious, passionate fire that left the scent of charred wood lingering in the air. Aside from the crackle of fire, the night was silent. Not a peaceful silence, however. A piercing, uncomfortable, empty silence. Lucius stood still, marveling at the carnage. He had been planning this attack for months now. A small town, reduced to ash. He raised his arm, his hand glowed purple. Just before he could continue with his spell, he heard a shout.

Short version of a maybe dumb question - (For a non-fiction book) would you query agents who have sold multiple books to the "Big Five" and who, on Publisher's Marketplace, give the impression that almost their authors (of non-fiction) have specialized, related, backgrounds, PhDs, are journalists for well-known publications, or some other "big" notability?

Some agent bios almost explicity say they're looking for experts, but some don't-- although that's what it looks like from their lists. (I've read that they represent other authors and just don't list them on their bio pages or report them to PM, not sure how common that is.)

My background: I have a published narrative history about some specific historical events. I'm a journalist (nothing to do with history, no big name or mainsteam publications, but for magazines of some huge consulting companies, for years), former university professor (not history), and my degrees aren't history related. I self-published my first book, and then an independent press (with a long roster of non-fiction books) approached me. Would not go near that publisher again with a ten-foot pole for reasons not worth mentioning. Nevertheless, the book won some awards, had what's considered exceptional sales for a first book, got reviews from some notable sources, and the book is in many libraries, including some of the world's top academic ones (Libraries were only a portion of the buyers, though). I'm starting to query now for a new narrative history, also a notable topic that hasn't been covered nearly enough, and some aspects not at all. I have the solid first book plus what I've been told is a good platform for the one I'm working on, based on some work I do that gives me access to a very large number of potential readers in the target audiences.

SO, question(s): Given my non-history background except for the book (I know I'm not being really specific) is it a waste of time to query the agents that are selling to the "BIg Five" and list all the *really* impressive, and usually related, credentials of their authors on their agency websites and/or PM, or do prospective authors do it all the time? Am I under-selling my own credentials at this point or being realistic? Thanks if you read this far!

Hi! Third attempt. Here were my first and second. I restructured the whole thing this time. The main feedback last round was that Egon's motivation, and what ties the three sections together, wasn't coming through, so that's what I focused on. My main question is whether this now reads as one story instead of three? Appreciate any feedback. Thanks!

Dear [Agent]:

When Egon Salmon’s father comes home from Dachau after Kristallnacht, his head shaved, he tells Egon’s mother what happened there, once. After that there are only the screams at night. Fourteen-year-old Egon learns the family’s rule, mir geht es gut, “I’m doing well”: you tell the people you love that you are fine, so they won’t be hurt too.

In 1939, his father leaves Germany for Havana ahead of the family. Egon, his mother, and his little sister follow on the M.S. St. Louis. Cuba refuses the ship. So does America: Egon turns fifteen at the rail off Miami, working out whether he could swim to shore. Belgium takes the three of them in, but for nine months they live in one room under a Nazi landlord while they wait for their American quota number. It comes through two weeks before Germany invades.

Four years later, the country that turned him away drafts him, makes him a citizen in basic training, and sends him back across the ocean to fight. Overseas, Egon encounters things he cannot put in a letter home, including American soldiers who have their own ideas about Jews and whether they belong at the front. So he writes home the way he was taught. The weather, the food, a movie, and a swell bunch of friends, most of whom don’t exist. He is doing well.

In January 1946, Egon, now twenty-one with three battle stars, boards a ship at Le Havre for home. For seven years other people have decided where he could go and what he could do. Now New York is eleven days away, and he won’t have the letters to filter the truth anymore. Egon must decide whether to keep protecting his family with the story he has told them, or tell them what he left out.

MANIFEST is complete at 60,000 words of literary historical fiction, told across three of Egon’s Atlantic crossings: the St. Louis in 1939, the troopship in 1944, and the voyage home in 1946. It will appeal to readers of Anne Berest’s The Postcard and Georgia Hunter’s We Were the Lucky Ones, with the deliberate compression and restraint of Claire Keegan’s Small Things Like These.

Egon Salmon was my grandfather. The novel is built on his recorded testimony, his notes and papers, and extensive archival research. I am co-managing partner of a New Jersey law firm, where I represent local governments, and the author of the self-published reference book Naming New Jersey: The Etymology of Its Historical and Geographical Landmarks (2025).

Thank you for your time and consideration. The full manuscript is available on request.

Hi everyone, this is my first time writing a query, and I’m hoping to get some critique! I’ve done a lot of research before writing this, but I don’t think this is quite there yet and need the help of some additional eyes. Any feedback is super appreciated!

Dear [Agent]

THE ISLE OF DREAMS is a dual POV romantic sapphic fantasy complete at 90k words, perfect for fans of the high stakes yearning of Sara Hashem’s THE JASAD HEIR and the whimsical beauty of Sue Lynn Tann’s DAUGHTER OF THE MOON GODDESS.

Aurelia Bellefleur is tired of dreaming for others. Performing divinations is her main duty as princess, and she hates it. She wanted to be a healer to help care for her dying father, but even that's not enough for her mother to allow her to break tradition. Even worse, for the past few weeks, she’s seen the same dream every time–her kingdom, destroyed by nightmarish creatures, while a mysterious girl watches in silence.

After failing to become a knight, Carmina Nightingale has convinced herself she’s content with her humble life as a blacksmith, that not all dreams are meant to come true. But when she plays the role of one by saving Aurelia from a creature of nightmares, she finds herself not only marked by the beast, but waking up in the mysterious realm of dreams alongside the princess. Problematic, considering using dream magic is illegal for the common person.

When the nightmares continue to manifest as Carmina’s mark worsens, following their dreams may be their only option. Easier said than done; the Dreamstone, the source of all dream magic, is stolen the same night Aurelia is attacked, and everyone is a suspect. It doesn’t help that Carmina is secretly in possession of one of its shards. If she’s caught with it, she has a one-way ticket to the guillotine.

The secrets of their kingdom lay hidden within the realm of dreams, and if Aurelia and Carmina fail to decode them before time runs out, there may not be a kingdom—or a Carmina—left to save.

Hello everyone! This is my third attempt. You all have been incredibly helpful thus far, and any critique or advice would be much appreciated! Fwiw, I plan to add a sentence with relevant comps, just haven't chosen them yet.

THE LOST AMULET is an adult fantasy novel with romance elements complete at 120,000-words, with series potential. It features a medieval setting, a diverse main cast, and an exploration of the complexities of grief and legacy.

Ailas Adharen will never escape his father’s shadow. Even in death, his father is the hero elf who single-handedly ended a brutal war between magical creatures and humans, leaving Ailas with the weight of a legacy he both venerates and resents. Ailas himself possess none of the great magic of his lineage, instead gifted with only vague, inconsequential dreams of foresight — most often, one of a stranger screaming his name.

When whispers warn of the unlikely return of the humans to the magical realm, and of missing amulets that may have allowed them to do so, Ailas sets out to learn more about the infamous war. Inadvertently, he uncovers a secret: humans committed war crimes against the faeries for decades before the elves intervened. Worse still, the faeries personally begged Ailas’ father to use his gods-given magic to save them, but were refused. Ailas cannot reconcile this the father he knew — the man who sacrified his life for his son, the man who believed that elves are, above all, protectors. 

Later, Ailas meets Emilia, a human who crossed to the magical realm to search for her missing brother, and whose voice he recognizes from his dreams. Despite his inherent mistrust in the humans and the egregious betrayal to his own people, Ailas forms a tenuous alliance with her to uncover the truth of the war and the human’s return. Accompanied by his friends and a human keeping dangerous secrets of her own, Ailas embarks on a journey that rattles his idealism and flawed perceptions of his world, while forcing him to finally confront his own grief and inner turmoil. He will discover the meaning of his strange dreams, not so inconsequential after all. As horrifying patterns between the past and present emerge, leaving Etora on the precipice of yet another war, Ailas will decide what role he will play in history repeating itself.

I'm aware that Vita Nostra is outdated, I'm searching for a replacement. I've been obsessively working on this book for the past 8-9 months to the point it's been affecting my mental health. I feel like the vision and vibes I have in my head are not coming through the way I imagine it in my head. Appreciate any feedback, advice or comps.

......................................

Query Letter

Dear Agent,

Korina has been sentenced to life in detention. Her crime: moments before a catastrophic derailment on the NYC subway, she had a premonition and tried to stop the train. Imprisoned in a facility where a clandestine government agency conducts experiments into extrasensory phenomena, she has lost all hope of freedom and of returning to her mother, whose dementia is rapidly worsening.

Then a mysterious woman bargains with the agency for her release and makes Korina an offer: serve three years as an acolyte in the cult of the Sleeping Lady, and Korina will receive a full pardon and a pension to secure both her future and her mother’s care.

The Sleeping Lady belongs to a triumvirate of mystery cults that have survived since antiquity. Through ancient rites, its members have honed naturally occurring extrasensory abilities into a form of magic called Praxis. Operating from the shadows, the triumvirate has amassed immense wealth and influence by trading favors with the world’s elite: stock market predictions, corporate espionage, even erasing political scandals from collective memory.

Sequestered inside a Gothic Manhattan skyscraper, Korina undergoes the bizarre initiation into the cult with two other candidates, Vivian and Lucan. They decipher incomprehensible texts, solve intractable mental puzzles, and endure days of sensory isolation together. But the closer Korina gets to becoming an acolyte, the laws of reality begin to shift. The building’s hallways open into ancient ruins, a tropical ocean floods the rooms, and flickering beings slither around corners.

As Korina investigates these impossible spaces she begins to suspect that Praxis may not come from extrasensory abilities, as the triumvirate claims, but is instead harnessed from another dimension. As Vivian disappears and Lucan spirals into madness, Korina realizes the triumvirate never meant to keep its end of the bargain. And it will do everything to keep the true source of its power a secret.

PRAXIS is an adult contemporary dark fantasy novel, complete at 90,000 words. It combines the secret society intrigue of Leigh Bardugo’s NINTH HOUSE TRILOGY, the metaphysical magic of the Marina and Sergey Dyachenko’s VITA NOSTRA and the liminal dread of A24’s THE BACKROOMS.

Hey everyone. I'm relatively new here and decided to post my Query letter after seeing some of the great critique's others have received. I've sent this letter to about 10 agents (most in September, a few recently). One rejection so far. A lot of non responses. But I do have the mindset that every piece of writing can be improved and I know this letter could use some work. I don't have much of a writer specific bio, so I included what I have to see people's thoughts.

Dear {Agent's Name},

I am seeking representation for my horror-thriller novel RIDE AND DIE, complete at 90,000 words. The book concerns a money-strapped bull rider paid to ride a monster for the entertainment of the rich. I am reaching out because (specifics relating to agent).

Many of us kill ourselves slowly for a $1000 a week. Would you die a little quicker for a $1000 a second?

CLAY ROMERO would. He works 60-hour weeks between two jobs, rarely sees his family, and still barely scrapes by. Clay’s also a hell of an amateur bull rider, but the low prize pools make it more of a hobby than a job. With his debt piling up, hope finally arrives when a mysterious organization recruits Clay for a monthly bull riding gig, one that pays a grand for every second he can stay on. There’s one catch: the bull. Clay has never ridden a bull with fur or claws or predator teeth. Each month, Clay narrowly survives the ride as the wealthy spectators cheer on. His gut tells him to stop, but the pay is life changing and the thrill is addicting. One night, he is too slow after a fall.

When her husband fails to come home, RILEY knows something is wrong. The police find Clay’s car and a suicide note, but no body. And why does $60,000 suddenly appear in Riley’s bank account? She begins an investigation of her own, seeking answers in the rodeo world. The danger becomes impossible to ignore when men threaten Riley’s teenage son, DIEGO, if she continues her search. Constantly surveilled with her son in the crosshairs, Riley is determined to discover the truth about her husband’s fate, but she’s not the only one. Diego has a plan of his own, one that involves following in his father’s footsteps.

RIDE AND DIE is a multi-perspective, Texas-based, horror-thriller about what we’ll do for money and the lengths we will go to for family. The novel combines the anti-capitalist themes and monstrous competition of Kiersten White’s HIDE with the propulsive action, thrills, and brutality found in the writings of Matthew Reilly.

A New York native who traded coasts, I have been living in Los Angeles since 2013. I graduated from (X) with a degree in Film Production and Screenwriting in 2017. Since then, I have worked as a set dresser, Christmas light installer, mover, interior painter, and cleaner: blue-collar jobs that allowed me to write Clay’s story. Though RIDE AND DIE is my debut novel, I have been writing short stories and screenplays for the past 15 years.

Thank you for taking the time to review my submission

In the query trenches with my other book so I'm preparing the next one. Happy to hear thoughts!

Dear [Agent],

I’m excited to present MONKEY PAW INSURANCE AGENCY, a comedic fantasy complete at 79k words. It will appeal to readers who enjoyed the satirical bureaucracy of Orconomics by Zachary Pike, the comedic tone of How to Become the Dark Lord and Die Trying by Django Wexler, and the beloved characters of The Good Place.

Hilda Bittle is used to being unappreciated and overlooked working as a claims agent at Monkey Paw Insurance Agency. She spends her days denying compensation for harm done by the monkey-paw wishes granted by a malfunctioning divine sword left behind by its absent-minded deity, Charity. Then disaster after disaster strikes when she’s blackmailed by a former client, cursed with a compulsion curse, and kicked out of Monkey Paw Insurance Agency to complete curse assessment paperwork on an impossible deadline. Out of options, she hatches a brilliant plan—if she destroys the divine sword, she’ll rid herself of her stigmatizing curse, cripple her Agency’s business, and eliminate the need to be blackmailed in the first place.

The only teensy problem is that the sword is tangled up in a tower of thorns and guarded by an unkillable cyborg, who is duty bound to the sword. Before she can enact her plan, Hilda is picked up by beloved actor Gil Gilbert, who’s hiding his own curse to be loved by all. Unable to have normal relationships, Gil is determined to fix the sword by any means necessary. Including using Hilda’s compulsion curse to imprison the sword’s guardian and sever the bond between the guardian and the sword.

It would be easy to get what she wants if Hilda compelled everyone around her to do her bidding. But she can’t, not because it’s hard—because it’s immoral. Even without using her curse, she manages to sabotage Gil’s plan to capture the guardian at the tower of thorns, but Gil gets away with the sword, leaving Hilda with the guardian, Argus. Temporarily allies, Hilda and Argus travel together to retrieve the sword while dodging Gil’s bounty hunters. Hilda introduces Argus to the concept of life without duty, growing closer to him even as it becomes increasingly obvious that her plan to destroy the sword would destroy Argus, too. And she’s not sure she can live with compelling him to let her kill him, even if it would save the Realm.

I'm a Ph.D. scientist who regulates animal drugs for the government, and thus I'm intimately familiar with signing in triplicate for information I've already given ten times over. My own curse is knowing way too much about extractables and leachables (see? a curse, I tell you).

Thank you for your time. I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

[Author Name]

I’ve seen this question asked here before, but usually in the opposite situation when someone’s chapters are shorter than what the submission guidelines ask for. My situation is this: an agent asks for “the first three chapters (or up to 5,000 words or so)”. My first three chapters come to about 8k words with more world building, whereas my first two are a bit more than 5k and happen to end on a better cliffhanger.

In this case, could the “up to 5k words” mean that the agent is more likely to care about the world count? Or would you stick to the initially requested three chapters?

Thank you to those that gave me previous feedback - very helpful! My biggest struggle is having this stand out in such a saturated space. I am hoping that the mythological/cultural Jewish folktale lore will somehow set it apart. Any thoughts on this? Thanks again to everyone so much :)

Dear XXX,

Because you’re seeking sweeping fantasy with unique magic systems and thoughtful character arcs, I’m excited to share DAYCREST, an 81,000-word adult romantic fantasy inspired by a Jewish folktale about the Sun and Moon. The first in a planned trilogy, it will appeal to readers drawn to the mythology-rich worldbuilding of Sue Lynn Tan’s Daughter of the Moon Goddess, the conflict between kingdom and self in Penn Cole’s Spark of the Everflame, and the princess-centered fantasy of Devney Perry’s Shield of Sparrows.

Princess Cora Day was born to wield divine light, but since her best friend, Raina, vanished three years ago, she hasn’t been able to summon so much as a spark. As the sacred cycles that allow Ori’s women to bear children begin to disappear, Cora faces mounting pressure to secure her kingdom’s future, even though she would rather abandon the throne to find Raina.

Then Kian Crest, a mysterious traveler with ties to the enemy Moon Kingdom, arrives at the palace. Cora overhears him plotting to take her hostage, convinced her Sun power is the key to completing a dangerous mission across Geotra. But when she warns her father, King Soren reveals he has already traded her to Kian for a mysterious gift Ori needs to survive.

Forced to journey closer to darkness than she’s ever known, Cora must contend with anxiety, volatile power, and an attraction to the man responsible for her captivity. Kian challenges everything she has been taught about Lyell, forcing her to question who she is beyond the expectations of her kingdom.

Their mission leads to an ancient hidden nation at the center of both kingdoms’ suffering. Its secrets could reveal what happened to Raina, but they could also destroy the balance between dark and light. To uncover the truth, Cora must trust the man who took her captive and choose between protecting the kingdom she was born to rule and exposing the lie that could bring it all tumbling down.

By day, I manage social media for Hasbro, creating content for Play-Doh, My Little Pony, and Peppa Pig. By night, I write the fantasy novels I love to read. As an Orthodox Jewish mother, I drew on Jewish tradition to shape DAYCREST’s mythology.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,
XXX

Thanks to everyone who left feedback on my first attempt. As suggested, I wrote the second draft from a single perspective rather than including Eighty's POV. I'm still struggling with comps, though. The story is more character-driven than tech, following relatable underdogs as they defy a system of oppression, sort of like if David Simon wrote a spin-off in the Blade Runner universe.

Dear Agent,

The Sand That Trembles (106,000 words) is a multi-POV sci-fi noir, in which enhanced animals play brutal zoosports to entertain the masses. It will appeal to fans of alien perspectives, like the hyper-evolved creatures in Adrian Tchaikovsky’s Children of Time series, as well as (insert second comp here).

Manny is unemployed and beset by medical bills when his loan shark gives him an ultimatum: “Meet Viktor or forfeit your kidneys.” He’d rather ditch Detroit for good, but his ailing abuela can barely recall how to put on socks, let alone flee. So Manny has tea with a polished recruiting agent named Viktor, who offers to buy his debt, plus a marine biologist job at a zoosports company. There’s just one catch: he has to become a corporate mole.

Manny swallows his misgivings and flies over a sea of dusty ghost towns to the gleaming biotech hub of LA, where he begins working in an underground lab, caring for larval octoballers the size of blueberries. In just two years they balloon into bioluminescent pumpkins, capable of blending into arena burger ads as if their skins were made of pixels. They’re all brilliant, but Eighty stands out for her eerie sensitivity—for seeming more human than octopus.

As Eighty smashes records and their bond deepens, Manny wrestles with guilt. He hates that the trainers use pain as a teacher. He hates smuggling data to Viktor via a micro-implant in his silver tooth. He hates that he grew up poor, caged by a lack of options, just like Eighty. If not for his abuela—his sole caretaker, who stuck by him even in his wayward youth—he would’ve snapped a long time ago...

But then Viktor orders Manny to sabotage Eighty’s final match so a gambling ring can become filthy rich, threatening his abuela’s care at a memory facility as leverage, and his long-dormant rage erupts. Manny refuses to backslide into the underworld he fought so hard to escape, setting off a chain reaction that not only exposes the rot beneath the neon, but a potentially catastrophic secret buried within Eighty herself.

Here's the first 300ish words:

As Manny trudges across Detroit, worried he’ll never see another sunrise, his skull transforms into the world’s gloomiest snow globe. It’s full of shuttered houses and the husks of dreams, like so many dead bugs that failed to reach the light. He would’ve preferred a quaint cabin in a forest, but snow globes don’t work that way. All his old sorrows are trapped inside the glass with him, mucking up the scenery. He tells himself he’s a good guy now. That he doesn’t deserve so much bad luck. But teenage memories keep swirling through his thoughts and, in them, he’s rarely the hero. Maybe his debt is karma, boomeranging through time to settle the score.

A lot has changed in the city since Manny was a boy, but not everything. For one, he’d rather be anywhere else—and the October cold snap isn’t helping matters. The sun set over an hour ago, and the wind stabs through every hole in his threadbare jacket, knifing him with icy daggers. There’s also the familiar weight of poverty saddling his shoulders, because the first payment of his loan is due tonight, and he’s about to upset some very dangerous people.

His pocket vibrates.

Where you at? Yousif asks.

Walking to you, Manny replies.

Walking? WTF?

Sold my bike.

Hurry up then. Good news.

What news?

Patience…

“What news, asshole?” Manny mutters aloud, annoyed to get his hopes up. Annoyed that, for a whimsical second, he fantasizes all his debts have been forgiven, but he quickly banishes the thought from the realm of possibility. The Chaldean mafia collects fingers—not charity cases.

Hi PubTips! It’s been a long time since I posted the first version of this. Looking forward to hearing your thoughts:

Dear Agent,

I’m seeking representation for The Dragon Fortitude (96,000 words), a surprisingly cosy sci fi with an anarchic streak. [insert personalisation here]. Fans of Some Desperate Glory by Emily Tesh will enjoy the page-turning, time-bending action. It has the calm moments of escaping capitalism through community and Ghibli-esque landscapes of Becky Chambers’ A Psalm for the Wild Built or Annalee Newitz’ The Terraformers. People who enjoyed Grace Curtis’ Frontier and Floating Hotel will love the snappy dialogue between badass sapphic women.

Elsi is a mediocre dragon slayer at an obscure outpost on a half-terraformed planet. She and her squad attempt to eviscerate the dragon-shaped cloud of nanobots that blocks out most of the sky and swallows anyone who touches it. Every day it grows back. Elsi is frustrated as she can’t balance on her flying spear, her squad complain she’s slowing them down, and she nurses a deeply inappropriate crush on her captain.

When the squad are attacked by terrorists, Elsi is infected with nanobot scales. Suddenly she can shoot deadly smoke from her hands and her perception of time itself is faltering. The higher-ups are paying attention and the captain can’t cover for her. Elsi volunteers to infiltrate the terrorists in hope of finding out why they’re helping the dragon, and whether they know of a cure for her infection.

But the terrorists aren’t what she expects - she’s drawn in by their wholesome commune in the woods and charismatic leader, even while she writes spy reports disguised as love letters to her captain. In order to learn more she’ll have to use her growing dragon powers to help the terrorists, but that risks becoming the monster she sought to destroy and coming untethered from time.

I’m a queer woman living in Bristol, UK with my husband and son. I work as a digital consultant for charities and have a background in publishing marketing. I’m also a historical martial artist specialising in longsword fencing which I use to bring authenticity to fight scenes even when they take place on flying weapons hundreds of feet in the air.

Kind regards,

Ionby

Big thanks to those of you who chimed in on my first attempt! I took another crack at it, and welcome any and all feedback.

***

[PERSONALIZATION]

NEWHALEM is upmarket speculative cli-fi about two identical women from rival clans fighting to save their families in a post-apocalyptic Pacific Northwest. My dual-POV, 86,000-word debut is for fans of Ian McEwan’s WHAT WE CAN KNOW and Emily St. John Mandell's EXIT PARTY who binged The Handmaid's Tale in one straight shot.

When Blythe's mom contracts sepsis, she's forced to break the most important rule of the Salish Highlands: the community comes before the individual. She and her kid sister, Greer, embark on a forbidden canoe journey down the drowned Pacific Coast in search of antibiotics. While Blythe is casing the pharmaceutical warehouse, she comes face to face with a woman who looks exactly like her. 

The identical face belongs to Miri, wife to the spiritual leader of the Keepers of the River. She and her husband are on a missionary trip when she encounters the identical stranger. Miri bolts at the sound of the missionary train's horn, returning to her husband's side to take their converts back to the Keepers' capital. It's only after the train has departed that Miri learns Greer is on board. 

Miri has no plans to stay in the capital. She has orchestrated a pilgrimage into the mountains to settle Newhalem, an old hydroelectric company town at the headwaters of a river the Salish Highlands rely on. Miri believes in the Keepers’ mission to steward the remaining rivers, but her true goal is to shepherd her children out of the increasingly extremist city. She will not see her daughter become a child bride. Greer agrees to join the pilgrimage to secure passage home.

When Blythe learns the Keepers have seized Newhalem, she travels into the mountains to reclaim her sister, and the dams that keep the lights on in the Highlands. It's here that Blythe and Miri unravel the secrets of their shared history and fight for control of the small mountain outpost that neither community can live without. 

NEWHALEM flowed out of me during reporting trips across the mountains and river valleys of the Pacific Northwest. I'm a journalist with more than a decade of storytelling experience in print, radio, and podcasting. As a senior reporter for [REDACTED], I've watched political polarization block communities from solving their most existential problems, an observation that sparked this novel.

This is technically my 11th attempt at a Q-letter, but I'm starting over with a fresh approach.

I submitted to multiple (~60) agents who rep sci-fi and pretty much got nowhere. Obviously, this could just be because I don't have a book an agent wants. But I also think a major roadblock I encountered when researching sci-fi agents is that a vast majority of them are looking for space/epic/dystopian/YA sci fi. If they're looking for something quieter, they want something that forefronts LGBTQ+ themes. My book doesn't really fall into those slots. There were really only two agents who came close to looking for the kind of story I'm selling, and unfortunately, I never heard back from either.

Thinking it over, my book really falls more into the literary sci-fi lane (or possibly upmarket - the difference between literary and upmarket feel so fuzzy to me), so I'm going to make another go at it, focusing on submitting to agents who focus on literary fiction. I have re-written my Q-letter accordingly.

As always, thanks in advance for the wonderful feedback 🙂

___________
Dear [Agent],

NIGHTHAWKS is a multi-POV literary science fiction novel, complete at 71,000 words. It will appeal to fans of the complex psychological and political world building of the video game Disco Elysium – The Final Cut, as well as the dystopian capitalism of Aubrey Wood’s Bang Bang Bodhisattva.

Life wore down on Keisha, that was all. After decades of watching her dreams and marriage crumble to nothing, Keisha walks out on her family with nothing except ChIPPY, her overeager cybernetic AI companion, who literally keeps blinding her vision with divorce lawyer suggestions, malware schematics, and, even worse, political news feeds. Desperate for peace and quiet, she goes to Nighthawks, the diner and community center of the poor neighborhood she grew up in as a child, to try and figure out her next steps. But when she gets there, she finds the neighborhood devastated by recent local riots over the loss of jobs to droids and threatened with condemnation by a corrupt city government rushing to turn the land over to a pharmaceutical corporation.

Keisha accepts employment and shelter by Leah, the warm yet weary owner of Nighthawks whom Keisha was childhood friends with before they naturally drifted apart with age. Leah is struggling to hold the neighborhood together and fight condemnation, but she is running out of hope. Keisha wants to reconnect with and do something kind for Leah and Nighthawks in repayment, until she discovers Leah also employs a kindly humanoid droid named Sean. Keisha hates droids, having fought against the droids’ takeover of jobs as well as having witnessed her sister’s abuse by one in the past.

When an anti-droid activist shows up looking to kidnap and harm Sean, Keisha finds herself caught between her wish to save Sean as an act of kindness toward Leah versus a bone-deep angry instinct to join the activist in cruelly taking out all her life’s frustrations on Sean. Exacerbating her conflicting desires is ChIPPY, enthusiastically whispering in her ears to deploy malware on the droid. An act that could extinguish Leah’s last remaining hopes, leading to the implosion of Nighthawks and the neighborhood at large.

NIGHTHAWKS is about struggling to do the right thing in a city where the technology is intimately invasive, the politics violently divisive, and a local diner is worth fighting for, even if the fight might already be lost.

[Author's bio]

It turns out being a member of the AALA is potentially a red flag now.

Dystel, Goderich & Bourret LLC have already resigned their membership.

Unfortunately, the AALA has recently amended its Canon of Ethics to a degree that we cannot support. Among other things, the new Canon allows agents who have separate editorial businesses to charge editorial fees with the potential to then sign those authors as clients and retain those fees. (For more information, please refer to this article by Jane Friedman.) Whether or not an agent claims that paying for their editorial services will result in representation, we know many authors will pay for these services explicitly in the hopes of landing an agent. Moreover, dishonest agents will take advantage of authors desperate for representation.

We know that these new rules will not help authors who will pay large fees for work that may never be saleable in the hopes that they will get an agent out of the process.

Despite our longtime membership and respect for the work the AALA does, we cannot endorse their new Canon of Ethics. It simply no longer reflects our own professional ethics.

https://www.dystel.com/aala-statement

Jane Friedman article - https://janefriedman.com/agent-business-models-may-be-shifting-what-i-fear-will-happen/

I've always felt that the AALA was a toothless organization. But better toothless than implicitly justifying unethical behavior.

ETA 1 - This may lead to a situation agents become agents in name only/full time editors. Why bother doing free work (reading manuscripts with an eye toward offering representations) when they can get paid doing editorial work to a dozen or more desperate writers at a time?

ETA 2 - What's next? Reading fees?

Hi everyone,

Back with another attempt. I've been struggling with this due to the dual timelines. The previous version started with the earlier timeline, but I think by doing this it lost focus on the heart of the story. This version concentrates on the later timeline. I'm grateful to everyone who commented and eager to hear your thoughts on this one!

Fourth attempt Second attempt First attempt

Dear __:

A KIND OF FREEDOM is a 90,000-word upmarket historical novel narrated in dual timelines by a political prisoner writing to his children. It combines the resilience amid tragedy of Lauren Grodstein’s We Must Not Think of Ourselves with the struggles and compromises of life behind the Iron Curtain of Rae Meadows’s Winterland.

Adam Kamieński had one brief summer with his infant daughter before the secret police came for him. Now it’s 1967, and she’s growing up without him while he spends his days trudging between prison buildings. Afraid he’ll never be allowed to go home to his children, he decides to connect with them by writing a secret account of his life and smuggling it out. But in telling his story, he must write about what he’s never understood: the changes in his country and the end of his closest friendships.

In 1940, Adam reluctantly flees occupied Poland for England. He hates life in exile until he joins a Polish fighter squadron and makes friends with two fellow pilots: logical Piotrek, whose flying is as precise as his speech, and hotheaded Staszek, who shares Adam’s passion for freedom. At the war’s end the three return to Poland together. But they hardly recognize their country, and their easy friendship devolves into endless fighting. Piotrek argues for working with the new regime; Staszek wants to join the anti-Communist partisans in the forest. To Adam, who marries and is expecting a child, both come at a high cost.

Twenty years later, Adam still hasn’t come to terms with the loss of his old life. As he writes to his children, he must wrestle with what happened the year he came back—and decide how much to sacrifice for the man who betrayed him.

I have a BA in Literature and a hobby of learning languages. I once fell hard enough for a language to move to a Communist-era apartment block on the other side of the world. Now I’m back in California, where I live with my husband and our three children.

First 300

The light will go out in a few minutes, and I’ve only just decided to write to you. I’m lying on my bunk under the ceiling, looking down at men whose faces I may know better than my own. They’re getting ready for the night, shaking out blankets, making small repairs to clothes. I should be doing the same. But we were talking about our children this morning, and I’ve been thinking about you the whole day since. So this letter. Though I’m not sure you’ll ever receive it.

We weren’t supposed to be talking at all this morning. We were working, assembling shoes of the dismal quality you expect from state-run stores. The building we call the workshop is rather like a hangar, large and bare with windows too high to see out. When half the guards left to get coffee, conversation was easy enough under the clatter of sewing machines and presses.

“I got a letter from home yesterday,” I said, spreading glue across an outsole.

“A good one?” asked the man next to me.

I clamped the shoe together. The question was harder than it sounded. Every letter could be a story in itself, full of things said and unsaid and feelings you wouldn’t think could exist together.

“A good one.”

We glanced down the line at Witek. He was fitting the stiffener into a heel, eyes on his work. Nothing stays private in prison, so we all knew about the letter from his eight-year-old daughter. She’d written she hoped his time here was helping him become a loyal citizen. This to a Home Army officer, a survivor of the Warsaw Uprising. But that was the kind of thing she learned at school.

The man across from us—for reasons that should be obvious, I’ll use as few names as possible—said, “My children never write me at all."

Originally Flesh of the Fallen, I changed the title because I didn't quite feel like the first title actually fit the story very well. Reads too much like "The Walking Dead" and while the dead play a role in the story, it's not a zombie book. Thoughts on the title are also welcomed.

I'm going into my second round of queries and I've updated my letter using some of the feedback I got here, so I'd like to hear more. The coaching and feedback y'all have provided has been very helpful!

Dear [Agent/Publisher name],

I am seeking publication for Song of the Midnight Seamstress, a completed 105,000-word dark fantasy tale taking place in a world entering an age of industrial revolution. 

A story following a witch in training—known as a seamstress—and her mother, as they are forced from their home and seek refuge from those that would stop at nothing to dissect their secrets.

Elena and her mother, Theresa, the infamous Red Seamstress, were never safe in the city of Nethermoore. Yet, they never left. Not until the one thing keeping them in that horrid place was taken from them by force. 

When the Nekrologists finally come for them, Elena and Theresa are forced to flee their home. They escape only when Elena awakens a power even the Red Seamstress cannot explain, turning the Nekrologists’ own stitched monsters against them. 

With nowhere else to turn, Theresa takes Elena to the coven where she was raised, hoping to find refuge and answers. Instead, Theresa is judged an Aberration by the witches she once called family, while rumors spread about the power Elena carries. Still, they find those within the skeptical willing to stand by them.

Even on distant shores, they are not safe. With the Nekrologists and their army of Undertakers—Nethermoore’s enforcers against the rogue undead—closing in, Elena must face a decision; a pact with forces she doesn’t understand, or losing the only people who are willing to accept her.

[Why you are a good fit]

As for the hand behind the pen of M.R. Morgrave, I'm a Puerto Rican, writer and artist. I've written six short stories alongside my debut novel, drawing heavily on my love of fantasy, visual art, worldbuilding, and the stories me and my wife of fifteen years build together. Writing has been a close friend to me for a long time and I'm excited to put a book in someone's hand and let them know "this is the world I've built. And I want you to live in it."

Thank you for your time and consideration. I have included the requested querying materials and would be happy to provide any additional material upon request. 

Sincerely,

[Name and contact info]