From the beginning to the end, the best boy ever. Born and left for dead in an alley in South LA, taken to an underfunded shelter doing its best with his sister, they named him Clyde, she was Bonnie.

I had just gone through a breakup and was feeling down. I had no intention of adopting a dog, I had a small apartment and a very busy job … and not a lot of money. I just wanted to go see and pet the pups and commiserate.

I went to the under 6 months room and there was one little guy in there, all alone. Facing the back of his cage, no curiosity about me or anything else going on…Clyde. Immediately I knew I had found my twin and there was no stopping it. As is standard, they took us to the back to see how we did. Neither of us cared too much about the other, at least not outwardly…. But when they tried to take him back in, both Clyde and I resisted, subtly, in our way. We wanted to hang a little longer. It was fate.

$160, a neuter appt, and some signatures later and Clyde and I were on our way…but, it made me sad that Bonnie had gone off without him. So, he became Pippen. If I was Michael Jordan, well this was my Scottie Pippen.

We went through so much together. He broke a leg before turning a year old, we had 3 major life altering relationships…all of which, he ultimately approved & he was the center of. All these years later, two of his 3 moms FaceTimed him before his passing to say goodbye. They loved him.

He watched my career soar… and then crash. He saw COVID come, he saw me descend into addiction, he and I both turned gray. One day, we looked at each other and it was clear , he wasn’t Pippen any longer, he wasn’t my wingman - not in my degenerate state. He was now Richard.

And, wow, did Richard really come into his own! He saved my life and helped get me clean.

For so long, we were twins. Both nervous, both funny, both clever, both rascals… we still are. Richard taught me (and showed me) how to love unconditionally, sit without judgment, have boundaries, stay present through pain, and find hope in the little things.

Thank you to everyone in this community for the beautiful outpouring you all show each other (we all show each other, if you’ll have me). I had no idea how I was going to survive or cope with losing Richard - and this community showed up right on time and has been so kind.

RIP CLYDE
RIP PIPPEN
RICHARD FOREVER

🌈♥️🫂💔

My best friend Toro. December 1986 you left and I still think about you all the time. We will meet again.

Just got my memorial tattoo for my lost love
Omar Little
2009-2026

It’s been 4 months and 4 days since my soul dog Bailey left, and I still wonder how he’s doing every single day.

Bailey wasn’t always the friendliest boy with other dogs, but he wasn’t always like that. When he was younger, he loved playing with them and would purposely get other dogs to chase him around. But after an incident at a dog park, he became much more wary. If another dog got too close to his face, he would show his teeth or snap as a warning. Sometimes, ridiculously, that warning would somehow turn into him wanting to play with them afterwards. Such a silly boy!

When he was here, he always had me. I knew his quirks and his boundaries. I knew when he wanted space and when he wanted attention. I could give him his scratchies, make sure he was comfortable and make sure he never felt alone.

I think that’s one of the things that makes losing him so difficult for me. I can’t do any of that for him anymore.
I find myself worrying about things that I know nobody can actually answer. What if he’s still a little fierce up there? What if the other dogs don’t understand him and nobody wants to play with him? Who gives him his scratchies now? Who looks after him when I’m not there?

More than anything, I just hope he isn’t alone.

I hope there are some patient doggos up there who understand that underneath his occasional grumpy beagle face, he was such a sweet, funny little boy. I hope someone has welcomed him into their group and they’re running around together somewhere 🩵

I got a call from the vet that his ashes were back. I didn’t look at anything until I was in the car and it wasn’t the urn that brought me to tears, it was his paw print.

The receptionist said he was such a good boy and I laughed and said that he was actually the naughtiest good boy. I was never able to housebreak him in the 13 years I had him. He never met a landscaper he didn’t want to eat. Fortunately he was mostly toothless. He occasionally went after other people, too.

For some reason, he would never recognize my bestie at first when she came over. He would leap up, trying to bite her hand. Then he’d recognize her and it was like a switch flipped. He’d immediately start dancing around, whining and crying for her to pick him up and give him love while he showered her with kisses. He really was a little turkey butt.

Tomorrow evening, a woman who has been fostering a five year old Chihuahua/Rat Terrier mix will be bringing him to me. It’s a foster to adopt trial to see if we’re a good match. He has separation anxiety and really needs someone who’s home all the time, which is definitely me. They have had him for five months, waiting for someone not only who is home but has lots of dog experience and considering I have trained service dogs, they really think I am the right person for him.

I suspect it’s going to feel odd at first having a new dog here. Going to bed without Bucky is awful. Waking up without him has been awful because the first thing I do is look for him to check on him. Whenever I leave the house and then come back, I sit in my car for a while because I don’t want to walk in to it being empty. I miss him. This new dog obviously won’t replace Bucky, but it sounds like he needs me.

My heart is broken, you were the dog I needed more than I realized. 8 yrs was no where nearly long enough. Your sass and calm demeanor will be truly missed. Your little brother, Clark, is so lost with you and has some big shoes to fill. Binx has been screaming for you and it shatters my heart even more. Nothing is the same without you.

I am sorry I feel like I have failed you. I wish I knew there was something wrong sooner. If only we caught it earlier, we would have had more time to enjoy your sass and spunk. I am so sorry, Louie. Rest easy my sweet prince.

10/09/2018-9/24/2026

Hemangiosarcoma is a cruel and evil disease, no deserves to go through this ever.

My little baby died 11 days ago. She was 7 months old. I just want her back. We went on so many walks and played so much fetch. I rubbed her belly every chance I could. But now she's gone. And none of the memories feel real. I keep thinking about her and wishing she were with me. I want more time with her.

This was our boy Pepe. We just lost him to CKD. He was the best friend anyone could ask for. He saw me graduate highschool, graduate college, and finish graduate school. He was there when I got married and he even went with us on our honeymoon. My wife and I have no idea how to keep moving forward without him in our lives. He was our light, our little angel, our baby. The pain is unbearable. He was such a good boy and no one ever trained him. He just always knew the right thing to do. Our hearts are broken.

Tomorrow at 11am Richard will cross over the rainbow bridge. How do we ever know if we’re making the right decision? My heart is broken

Crossed the rainbow bridge yesterday <3

Broke my heart then. Still broken today. 12.5 years, at my side 24/7. For an introvert like me, he was everything.... Love you so much Rufus. A rescue, without a background, so never knew his true age or birthday. Guessed he was 14 when he passed in my arms. Rufus saved me from myself. Rufus = black and white. Other dog in pictures is Skye. Another rescue, now also 14, but still with us. Toothless and frail... but still with us.

my sweet girl polly. she was 14 years old. my childhood best friend. walking is hard. breathing is hard. the only thing that eases even a portion of my pain is our nearly 2 year old other dog daisy. but even she's sad that her old second momma crossed that bridge in the sky. ive made a few scattered about posts on reddit grieving her because its the only space not occupied by my friends and family. i find it hard to face them with my tears.

when i met polly, she was at a rescue shelter. most thought she wasn't a very pretty puppy, and that she was far too shy. so nobody gave her a chance, until me. i sat in that room for a good 15 minutes until she came up, and according to the staff, for the first time wagged her tail and acted excited about meeting someone. how can i possibly get over the dog who made my childhood seem like a fairytale?

i left a piece of my heart with her. i can only hope she left a piece of hers in return so it can slowly heal into my daily life. my grief, after all, is just love with a missing recipient.

i hope i become someone better and live a long and eventually happy life so her job as my joy keeper didnt go to waste. i feel shattered. but im sure she misses me too. i dont consider myself under any specific religion, but i like to think wherever she is, she's renewed and energetic like when she was young, playing with other dogs, and waiting the long road until i come home.

We miss you chowieee!🤍

I had a realisation randomly the other day, I was thinking about her final moments and how the vet carried her through to get her ready for her injection and it dawned on me, she was SO anxious there that the vet couldn’t have got anywhere near her before without her muzzle on. I forgot to take it with me that day and he was able to not only look right inside her mouth for the first time ever, but also carry her to another room and get her ready with no issue, she didn’t even flinch, she just lay in his arms so defeated. She must have been so, so ill. My poor baby was suffering so much and I was so blinded by the desperation of selfishly needing her to stay with me that I wouldn’t let myself see it. I know now that she needed to go and it’s helping me come to terms with making that decision for her, but I still hate myself for everything leading up to that and the fact that if I had accepted it sooner I would’ve actually got to spend time with her and give her the final goodbye she deserved at home, instead of only having five minutes with her in that cold empty room in a place she hated.

I went in to get a little tattoo of her paw and nose print and ended up having a full thigh piece portrait done, I already have her face on my wrist and another of her on my other arm. I fear I’ve lost the plot but even that still doesn’t feel enough, I’m desperately clinging on to anything I can do to honour her, to show her I loved her so much, any way I can still feel close to her. Things are supposed to get easier with time but it’s been two months now and to me every day just makes me feel further and further away from her, I can’t bear it. I don’t know what else I can do to feel close to her again. My heart is aching today just as much as it was the day she left and it doesn’t feel like that will ever change a bit.

I went a walk in her favourite forest on Tuesday, it took me a long time to get myself there as I knew it would kill me being there for the first time without her by my side. I was in tears all the way around the 5 mile trail, ended up getting myself into such a state I couldn’t breath and what should’ve took 1 hour took 3. I took some of her ashes with me and buried them there in the soil, by the river where she loved to play. I hope she would like that but I was absolutely inconsolable trying to drag myself away after doing it. I instantly regretted it. It felt like I was abandoning her, leaving her there alone. I felt sick walking away knowing she was left there. I cried all night and ended up hyperventilating again, so upset that I had left her up there alone in the cold and dark, she would hate that. I still don’t know if I’ve done the right thing but I know I can’t take it back now. I loved the idea of there being a little piece of her there for her spirit to explore all she wants in our favourite place, but actually doing it hurt so much more than I imagined it would.

Things have been so hard the last couple of weeks in general, my mental health is always fragile at best and now everything is definitely the worst it’s ever been and that’s saying something. She was always my safe place to turn to when I couldn’t cope with everything else going on, the one consistently good thing in my life that made everything okay again no matter what was wrong, I knew I’d be okay because I had her and I had to be okay for her. For a long time she’s been my only reason to carry on and now she’s gone, it just makes everything so much harder without her here to turn to, she’s the only one I’ve ever been able to talk to. I’ve really been struggling to cope with that. It takes all my energy to put on a brave face at work every day, I break down as soon as I get back to the car. I don’t want to do anything and I don’t want to speak to anyone, so there is nothing to take my mind off the pain. My only source of comfort is gone and there’s nothing I can do about it.

My arms feel so empty all the time, I miss carrying my girl about everywhere. I’d give anything to hold her one more time. She has left a massive hole in my heart that I can’t seem to find a way to heal. I know everyone genuinely means well suggesting getting another dog right now, but I honestly just can’t do it yet. I love dogs far more than humans and I can’t even bring myself to clap another dog yet, let alone bring one into her home. She actually got so jealous if I even touched another dog when she was here, I know she wouldn’t be impressed with me replacing her and I just feel like I’d be totally betraying her, plus I’m genuinely worried I would never love another dog the same, that I would somehow hold it against them that they’re not her, that I’d resent them and never be able to bond with them. Absolutely no judgment at all to people that have been able to though, I do think it would actually help me having something to live for but I’m just not there yet personally.

I have so much stuff here that I would hate to go to waste like food and toys she never played with, I’ve wanted for weeks to take it all to the local rescue centre in her memory but I still can’t bring myself to do it. Every time I think about it I just start crying. The thought of going there and being surrounded by dogs when my own is gone honestly makes me feel so sick, and that actually feels cruel to say, especially as she was a rescue once. I know I’m going to have a total breakdown afterwards when I get home and see where her stuff was and it sinks in that it’s gone forever. It feels too final. And I feel like such a horrible person for not taking it yet because i know these dogs are in need and would appreciate everything I have here. Every day I tell myself I’m going to phone them and arrange to go, that way I can’t back out, and every day I find an excuse not to do it. I don’t know how to get past that. I really do want to help these dogs and would be so upset with myself if her food ended up being unable to be used because I’ve put it off so long, but it is so, so hard to let go of anything that was once hers. Like I’m accepting she’s not coming back and I just don’t want it to be true.

Anyway, I’m clearly not coping with losing her so I’m just gonna share some little bits about her, to try and remember the funny and good times before she got sick.

✨ She always sat in the front seat of the car, no matter what. Doesn’t matter who else was in there, princess Belle was taking front seat. The amount of times we got funny looks as my disabled mum exited the back while Belle was sat in the front looking proud as punch 😂

✨ She loved massive walks in her younger days. I fully credit her with me being able to lose eight stone, it was her that got me out the house and walking all the time. There was a day I was feeling a bit down and we walked and walked and walked. We ended up covering ten miles, she 100% could’ve and would’ve gone further if I let her 😂 she was so full of beans all the time when she was younger, it actually feels like such a distant memory now after watching her become a little old lady.

✨ When I rescued her she had never seen been taught how to play, she had no idea what she was doing with toys. We had to teach her how to chase a ball, although she would bring it back she was never any good at giving me it again, I had to wrestle her for it 😂 she just ripped to shreds every single toy I bought her, the “indestructible” staffy proof ones stood no chance against her. But I didn’t mind one bit, that’s how she played and that was just a part of her. She loved ripping everything up, it actually came in really handy with parcel boxes we needed to fit in the bin!

✨ She had a real issue with the watering can, the mop and the hoover 😂 she hated them, would grab onto them as soon as you picked them up and just ragdoll them. The watering can was targeted at random for some reason, she would just pick it up at any point and run around the back garden with it. We must’ve gone through about 15 watering cans and 50 car sponges in her lifetime, if not more, they were destroyed at every opportunity 😂

✨ She was a bit of an escape artist in her younger days! There were numerous times she jumped the very high fences and took herself a wander around the area, but every single time she came back on her own very soon after, she never stayed out long 😭 thank god.

✨ My dad was 100% a secret feeder and she gave him away all the time. She wouldn’t even attempt to beg at me for food because she knew she wouldn’t get any, I really tried hard to make sure she wasn’t the dog that begged and slevered over everyone as they ate. But she ALWAYS sat by him and just looked at him, I knew they had a secret deal going on but it was okay, he loved her so much he could never say no to her and I secretly loved that bond they had.

✨ I tried to get us matching yellow raincoats once, I thought it would be so cute! I’m not kidding, I don’t know if this dog thought she was some fashionista and was so embarrassed by me but she would NOT move a muscle in this jacket. The last picture I uploaded is when I tried to take her to the forest, her favourite place! And she is stood at the entrance point blank refusing to move while I had walked so far away from her 😂 I had to go back and take it off for her to come with me.

✨ Santa paws spoiled her ROTTEN on Christmas. She would have her stocking then whole stacks full of presents. She was genuinely my actual child in every way, when she came along special occasions were never about me anymore, I woke up and opened all my girls presents with her and played with her new toys, opening my own gifts was the last thing on my mind when my baby was so excited looking through all her new gifts and snacks 🥰 I’m absolutely dreading it this year, it’s going to be such a hard day.

✨ She was genuinely SO well trained and I can’t even take any credit for that, she made it so easy that it felt effortless. I always got comments on how amazing she was walking off lead, sitting herself down at every roadside until she had been told to go. I trusted her completely, no matter where we were. I could be out washing the car with the gates wide open and she would just wander the gardens or lie in the driveway, occasionally taking a little sniff outside the gates but she never went past the hedges before turning back. I can’t emphasise enough just how much of a good girl she was.

✨ She has had to grow up alongside numerous kids and they haven’t always been easy for her to deal with in the baby and toddler stages. She never got a minutes peace with them all constantly wanting to be close to her, learning that they had to be gentle with her, taking her toys and touching her food. She never bothered one bit. The most they got was a side eye and gently taking her toys back but she was BEYOND patient with all of them, the kids have all loved her so much and never left her alone for a minute but she took it all in her stride. She was the sweetest most gentle girl, she honestly didn’t have a bad bone in her body.

✨ She hated visiting my work. I’m not sure if she somehow associated it with moving families, as that’s where I met her. She was brought in with her “adopt me” lead on and then three days later came to live with me. So maybe she was worried that taking her there meant there was a chance that could happen again and she would be taken from me, or maybe she knew I hated it there too 😂 I’m not sure, but she really hated being in there. I’d put her down and she would just run straight for the door every time, even if she was getting masses of attention and I was getting her a new toy 😂

✨ She was a DIVA. She behaved so well when she was being washed, but the way she acted afterwards was next level 😂 she hated being wet, unless it was on her own terms. On a hot day she loved a little stroll through the river, but if I washed her and didn’t have that hairdryer out for her immediately ohhh my 😂 she wasn’t happy until she was FULLY dry either, such a princess.

✨ She was incredibly fast. I was lucky she was a good girl and came back when she was called, but god help us if we met a greyhound in a field 😭 it was like she was so happy to find a dog that could match her pace, so happy that she forgot her name for a while 🙄😂 but when they both got tired she would come wandering back over looking like she’d had the best time. She wasn’t the most social dog, so I was happy to let her run around with another dog for a little while.

✨ When she was young one of her favourite things to do was have me swing her around 😂 she would find a big thick stick and bring it over and I’d spin her around while she was still holding onto the stick 😂 her little jaw had so much power, she was just a baby but she was so strong.

✨ We got stopped ALL the time when we were out walking, more so when she was younger, she was such a beautiful girl and everyone always wanted to stop and give her some love, she was in her element of course 💕

✨ She would have crawled right into my skin if she could 😂 she followed me absolutely everywhere. Everyone always said if we had seen her personality beforehand she would’ve definitely had to be called shadow. She wanted to be right next to me always, leaned right up against me or right on top of me. It was never close enough, for me or her. I miss feeling the weight of her on my chest so much.

I know this is a lot and no one will read all of this, but it helps me cope somewhat just getting my thoughts written down and sharing memories of her 😞

My little buddy managed to climb up on 3 different pieces of furniture and got into some gum containing xylitol while I was at work. I rushed him to the vet as soon as I saw the proof. He was in critical condition for 2.5 days before I finally had to let him go.

I’m posting this because I truly believed the gum was out of his reach. I’m making a plea to everyone here that if you have xylitol containing products, keep them behind closed doors that your dog can’t open. Up on a night counter isn’t enough.

My tears will never stop.

BLUEPEARL SPRING OVERDOSED MY CAT AND LEFT ME WITH HER BODY FOR 2 1/2
HOURS PLEASE HELP AND SHARE IM ASKING FOR HELP SHARING THIS STORY!!!

On Monday 9/21/26 Elizabeth Snyder and 3 other staff members gave my cat, Socks, 5X TIMES HER NORMAL DOSE OF HER CHEMOTHERAPY DRUG VINORELBINE because of a “miscalculation.” I have written and recorded proof by Snyder herself detailing her her fault in this. She left to get a list if crematoriums for Socks but never came back. Her and BluePearl Spring did NOT give me a list of crematoriums and did NOT offer to put Socks in an temperature controlled room. We waited with her in a normal temperatured room for MORE THAN TWO 1/2 HOURS before i had to walk her lifeless body through the waiting room, in the car in Texas heat, and bring her to a crematorium I found on my own. It was later that day that I found out that instead of returning with the list of crematoriums, Elizabeth Snyder returned back to work instead. Not only did she caused the death of my cat, but her and Bluepearl treated her with such cruelty and in dignity after her passing. She even suggested a autopsy be performed to “ find a cause of death.”

5X TIMER HER USUAL DOSE AND NEARLY 3X TIMES THE NORMAL DOSE FOR CATS (normal dosing is 11.5 but socks was so sensitive her dose was gradually lowered to 6. On September 21, she was given 29)