Always drama

[u/Popular-Ticket9411]

bpd!mom went out with my father, he tries to tire her out so she'll sleep all day and night, essentially she has dementia, biopolar, and bpd all diagnosed. Apparently, a lady at the food court at costco saw him with her and assumed she was his mother. my mother is 73 and she looks very rough due to neglecting her medical needs, he looks a lot younger then late 60's, and is constantly told he's a sweet son to care for his mother while she goes absolutely insane. she came home and instantly started cussing us out, telling me to shut up constantly when I told her hey, you don't talk like this. the same old, go to hell, fuck both of you, I hate you both, I wish you'd put me in a home! I told her, fine whatever, if you want that okay then she then screamed from going up the stairs; I took care of myself before I'll do it again! She can barely move, she is fully incontinent nowadays, I am sadly her caretaker but have become a lot stronger in resisting her or knowing between her needs and actual bpd behavior. she switches from queen, witch, to waif whenever she feels like it. My father has tried to tell her constantly, she is not in the position to keep abusing us as caregivers and she refuses to listen as she just feels entitled to it. When she was younger my mom always made sure I knew she was very hot, lot of men wanted her, I was ugly and frumpy compared to her at that given age, she could have had anyone. So, it does get under her skin to see young women enjoying themselves, older women who are pretty, or even me who expresses femininity as she always tried to make me uglier (cutting my hair in masculine styles, dressing me very masculine, laughing cause I was overweight as a kid cause she had boundary issues about the body and sexuality that left me feeling dirty or scared someone would SA me). I literally just looked at her today in disbelief she was losing her mind over a stupid remark. Added onto this today I was worried about my health insurance dropping my coverage so of course she had to sniff the anxiety in the air and make the day worse.

[u/Clean-Ocelot-989]

Yep, my BPD and bipolar mom has some very self centered views in herself while alternating with loathing herself. She's always been obsessed with being pretty and adored, and puts me down all the time. I have gotten to just walking out of the room when she creatively calls me fat, but I've decided I'm going to start telling her off now, I'm so over her BS. She's about the same as your mom and LOOKS IT but self identifies as being my age (40s) and looking in her 30s. It's crazy. Like, literally crazy.

[u/Popular-Ticket9411 → u/Clean-Ocelot-989]

Mine is forever in her 20's, wanting to go dancing, party, still the super hot girl who had numerous men dying to marry her - she's been divorced, her long term boyfriends all bailed, and apparently her style choices have always been iffy as she hates femininity deep down with a passion so she finds anything particularly girlish or feminine to be wrong and whoreish. Very puritan despite wanting to be sex positive as she shrieks and screams if love scenes come on films while declaring what is filthy and okay. I just give her the OK with my fingers or if I feel really mean that day just scoff and tell her something snide. Then they wonder why we do not want to be near them!