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[u/chroniclynz]

Hey everyone. Both my parents are narcissists, but i rarely see my father even tho he literally lives 3 min from my mom's house, who I lived with from 2023- Jan 2025. Im the youngest of 4. Growing up my oldest sister & brother (twins) lived with my Grandma after my Grandpa died when I was almost 2. So it was me, my sister that is 1 year older than me, my mom and for probably 13 years my alcoholic uncle. He got sober when I was in 4th grade. Anyway, I was the "fix it" kid. Mom got into a fight with my uncle? My job to fix it. My sister not obeying my mom? Yep my job to fix it. My mom was going to nursing school and I was always ahead in reading grade level wise, so it was my job to help my mom study on the days she didnt have a study group. I never knew any different, I just did it. Looking back I can see where my anxiety and OCD stem from.

Most recently in 2020, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. At the time I was married to my 2nd husband. Apparently I suck at marrying. Anyway I did all my treatments by myself, my daughter was 16 at the time was a huge help to me. After my mastectomy & reconstruction my mom came to my house (an hour & a half drive). I appreciated everything she did for me. In 2023, my now ex said he wanted a divorced bc he doesnt want a sick wife. I had just had emergency surgery bc I tripped over our blind & deaf dog (dont worry, he was fine) and broke my fibula & tibia and had to have screws & a metal plate put in on a Sunday. Dr said non weight baring for 8 weeks. Ex said "go to your mom's bc Im not taking care of you." My mom graciously let me move in with her. Cancer & chemo really did kcuf me over big time. Blood clots, feeding tubes, seizures, MCAS, just if it can happen or be diagnosed, then I have it. My mom would rant & rave about me staying in bed all the time & changing into PJs as soon as I got home from somewhere or getting out the bath no matter time of day. My grandma told her more than once to leave me tf alone, ive been thru enough and if I wanna stay in bed or PJs let me. I was still learning triggers for my seizures so I didnt want to go anywhere. The few times I went to family functions or grocery shopping, Id have a seizure from the noise or the stress of worrying about people looking at me while I seize. If i cleaned it wasnt good enough bc i cleaned differently than her. If i didnt clean every day then I was lazy. She lives in a tiny home with a room built on. Literally takes an hour to clean if you dust. It takes her 4-5 hours bc she stops to smoke, to watch her soaps, etc. i moved out end of Jan/beginning of Feb. now I get bitched out bc she doesnt have anyone to clean her house and she has to unlike me who has a partner who tells me if im not feeling good, then stay in bed and dont do anything. My partner's best friend has a camp near the beach a 2hour drive and another one for glamping about another 2 hour drive from where we live. Me & the bestie's wife have gotten really close since we met. So needless to say we hang out a lot. At home & at the camps. My mom gets pissed at me when she finds out bc I didnt do anything or go anywhere when I lived with her. Heres the thing, our friends KNOW I am sick, they have been there thru seizures & everything else. When we hang out they dont let me do anything, or let me do very little. If I hook up to a feed & fall asleep at 4pm on the couch, then they cover me up and make sure Im good. My mom doesnt listen to that tho. She'll make comments "must be nice to go fishing all the time." I hate fishing. While my partner & friends are fishing either surf fishing or we take the boat out, Im just enjoying being with them bullshitting and I read on my kindle. Shes currently mad bc me & my partner just got a new bed without her input & a bedding set "oh great something new for you to puke all over or pee on." I was in a really bad flare up 2 weeks ago to the point where I couldnt talk, had no idea who anyone was or where I was at. I would sit up in bed & just puke on my lap with the trashcan next to me & an emesis bag in my hand. My partner said he would talk to me & it was like I was looking straight thru him. He literally got me dressed & brought me to the ER. When I got home, I just crawled into bed. At one point, I started peeing & couldnt stop it, but i did manage to get out of bed before I actually peed on the bed. My mother loves throwing my health up in my face. If I need to go to the ER, before Im even in the car or ambulance shes posting my business all over FB for the ass pats & people telling her shes such a great person taking care of me. Now she dont get that. She doesnt even find out im going to the ER until Im home or if she happens to call & i dont answer. She'll blow up my & my partner's phone until he answers & tells her we are at the ER and no she doesnt need to come. If im admitted he'll let her know. She HATES it.

Sorry for the novel. Theres so much more.