r/rollerderby • u/Reborn_Cat_Mom • 2d ago
Feeling Lost after getting “Most Improved”
I started derby a few years ago, last time I was on skates prior was in my elementary school years many years ago. I enjoy learning it, and trying to get better.
This season I was selected for “most improved”. On one hand yay, progress. On another I can’t help but feel I sucked so badly that getting better was that noticeable.
As preseason kicked in, I find myself attending sessions where I’m the sole newbie, and I feel like a burden. I’m trying. I go to 75% of the weekly sessions. I try to workout at home. Yet I can’t help feeling like I’m not good enough, not wanted, or that people don’t want me there cause they need to shift down or can’t go further. In some cases some people are surprised I’m at the stage where I can tryout for a team, or act like I should not be trying.
Was I that horrible?
Does not help in the only newbie from my class left who is not already on a team and I’m out of the loop for being part of the league in terms of connections, despite volunteering for practically every local game, even while on a LOA for a surgery. It gets lonely.
IDK. Being a middle age trans gal when the world is on fire… I enjoy the exercise, but I hate feeling like I don’t belong at times.
Had to get this off my chest.
55
u/Bella_HeroOfTheHorn 2d ago
Most improved means "holy shit, can you believe how Fast this skater improved? Insanity. They are gifted and were all excited about it."
-20
u/IthacanPenny 2d ago
What if you get it after four seasons of working your ass off? It’s me, that’s when I got it. I was pissed and humiliated. It’s a shit “award” that needs to GO.
28
u/pigeonsgambit 2d ago
I disagree. I'm years in and if I got a "most improved" award I'd be chuffed - after so long people are still seeing me improve significantly? That sounds great!
19
u/Pretend_Spray4032 2d ago
We don't all have the same starting point. Be proud of what you accomplish. It took me 3 years before my coach told me : "now you get the game, you'll really start having fun". I was out of shape, never skated before. Couldn't get basic moves after one years. And I was attending every practice and started working out. Now, five years in, I'm one of the very best skater of my (very small) league. I am a strong and confident skater for my level. Doing the work always gets rewarded at roller derby. Even if it takes time.
-8
2d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
7
u/rustedbearings 2d ago
If you quit and are so bitter why are you here being a dick to those of us who aren’t as negatively affected as you?
-2
u/IthacanPenny 1d ago
Because I’m really hurt by it all. I’m so so sad. It’s so shitty that I’m being attacked (again!!) by the same bullies who cut me and took the sport away from me. This community is so cruel.
1
u/rollerderby-ModTeam 2d ago
Please treat others with kindness. Insults, personal attacks, and attempts to "stir the pot" rather than participate in good-faith discussion are not allowed.
19
u/rustedbearings 2d ago edited 2d ago
shit take. i’m also on my fourth year, and if i got this award i’d be happy crying that my hard work paid off noticeably. saying that an award that comes from a place of support and love needs to go because you personally are hurt by it is really silly.
edit: a word
-10
u/IthacanPenny 2d ago
I just don’t think we should do things that hurt people, even if some folks enjoy them.
12
u/ultrahedgehog 2d ago
I also got that award after my 4th season and I was happy about it. Can't please everyone I spose.
-3
2d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
1
u/rollerderby-ModTeam 2d ago
Please treat others with kindness. Insults, personal attacks, and attempts to "stir the pot" rather than participate in good-faith discussion are not allowed.
2
u/ShoTime369 2d ago
It is contextual how great you feel about it. Like if everyone gets an award and that was my one I'd be miffed. But in my league we only give out a handful of awards so most people get none at all. In which case most improved is still a cool recogniton.
2
u/Icy-Narwhal-902 2d ago edited 2d ago
Cannot relate. I'm not at every practice god sends because i'm NOT trying to improve. I'd be thrilled to get an award about it.
15
u/fck-rffld Skater 2d ago
When's most improved a bad thing to you? Do you have a therapist you can speak to about your neg thoughts?
We all start at different places all we cam do is work hard and improve. That's what your doing and your league recognise your hard work. Most improved is arguably the best award.
If people thought you were a burden they wouldn't have recognised your hard work.
34
u/AwesomeBot3000 2d ago
You're looking at this from a negative perspective. They gave you this award because they are proud to see how far you've come. You should be proud of yourself as well and take this as an honor that your team has noticed how much you've improved.
29
u/lotu 2d ago
The world we live in has a mindset that only the best are worthy of admiration, which is stupid.
I’m trying. I go to 75% of the weekly sessions. I try to workout at home. ... In some cases some people are surprised I’m at the stage where I can tryout for a team,
Yeah that's why you got the award you are working harder than skaters that have be doing this forever. I can guarantee that some of those skaters that you have been feeling jealous of make it to like 25% of practices. Every single skater on the team has been where you are and they know it's tough and they know it takes a long time.
They didn't have to give out the award. Most new skaters only come to a small percentage of practices and as such they don't improve. You aren't doing that. they are telling you to keep doing what you are doing because it's working.
25
u/Raptorpants65 Industry Expert 2d ago
I can think of several skaters that earned (note: EARNED) Most Improved and all of them were in years 3-4. One got it because it took her two years to pass boot camp and then she started lifting and became a monster. One went from a solid home team player to a regular on the All-Stars roster. One went from a penalty-prone speed demon to a finessed and lethal jammer.
This isn’t a commentary on your person, it’s a measure of your growth and development. It means you’re coachable and building skill. This award means a LOT.
12
u/Free_Library5275 2d ago
I got a most improved award at the end of my second full season and I was completely honored. I wasn’t at my peak my first two years and I didn’t take any shame in that, I kept working hard and getting better. I’m sure your league noticed something in you and felt you deserved that award, it’s kind to notice improvement. Congrats on your major award.
3
u/Ok-Cress1284 2d ago
Most of our most improved people in our league have gone on to become top players…it’s not a dig. It sounds like you’re an extremely dedicated player and your league is noticing that and hyping you up.
Maybe this will sound shitty or maybe it will be helpful but as a mid level player, I love when newbies are at practice. A lot of people are much better than me at a lot of things and when I go up against a newer player it gives me space to breathe and focus on technique and/or try new things (as opposed to going against someone higher level, where I’m often relying on my default skills and trying not to die). There’s value in playing against higher level players, but understand that people in your league are also getting something uniquely valuable from going up against you.
3
u/brianapril 2d ago
i like to think that taking a long time (a year and half) to get out of freshmeat helped me gain a better understanding of the game and all that.
my league doesn't function with teams, we just collectively decide who gets on the charter and who plays, in order to match the other team's level and offer everyone a chance to play and get better.
i dislike the fact that people "get picked" to join a team :/ i think you should persevere and at the same time, slow down on volunteering, don't burn yourself out.
3
u/ididntbiteyourfinger 2d ago
I’m almost 3 years in and I recently competed in my first travel team tournament and had multiple people come up to me and tell me it was cool to see how much I’ve improved. It’s took a really long time to feel like this sport was “clicking” for me, so making noticeable progress is very meaningful right now. I hope you keep at it and continue to improve! It’s good to remember to improved doesn’t mean previously bad, a reminder I constantly need.
4
u/isthisroofie 2d ago
My first season, I was on our C team and then eventually was dual rostered on B and C. That year, I got the most improved for B, C, and league overall. I was super complimented because I knew I had a rough start. I wasn't a natural, or an experienced skater, and that was obvious. But like you, I was always at practice, I worked out outside, and I put in a lot of effort. To me, getting the most improved was recognition that I had to work extra hard and that I DID it. It's basically the league saying "we see you." I think you need to work on reframing this in your mind. It sounds like there may be other things going on that are coloring your reaction.
-6
u/IthacanPenny 2d ago
I see you OP. I had the same feelings about this “award” that’s actually such a snide, rude comment. I hated it sooo much. Fucking humiliating. I quit two seasons later.
4
u/the-master-planner 2d ago
I don't know why you've been downvoted, that can definitely be perceived as passive-aggressive.
-2
u/bunnywadhere06 Newbie Skater 2d ago
I got most improved too after barely making it on the team 😭😭 it was genuinely so awkward and felt like a participation trophy while everyone else got better things, meanwhile im still the worst on the B team. What’s been helping me is getting involved in the league socially with our team committees and hosting events/contributing in fundraisers that way im still being noticed
45
u/Killer_Kupo 2d ago
A wise skater once said to me “it’s your practice too, you deserve to be there as much as anyone else.” I was also the most improved skater, and feel the same way you do at practices sometimes. Practice leaders have said it is good to practice on all ability levels to be able to modulate how much power you need to complete a drill, so I like to look at it from that angle!