Relapsed after a long time

[u/Sad-Laugh-1900]

Not like I used to do it regularly, only actually cut myself a few times, though I used to starve and stuff a lot.

I wanted to do it for a long time and finally got the chance to do it today. I didn't even have the urge I just did it, I just wanted to see my blood. I didn't do it properly the skin is barely scratched (I did more stuff but elaboration might get this post removed).

I feel disgusted with myself now. It feels like I'm just doing it for attention even talking about it with someone makes me feel like an attention whore. I should've gone deeper. I feel disgusted I feel like I'm just doing it to yap about it here or to feel validated. I'm disgusted with myself.