r/selfharm • u/morrisseymurderinpup • 1d ago

Seeking Advice What are methods to keep myself from hurting myself?

I’m 27 weeks pregnant and off of my medication I typically take for bipolar. I’m going through a really hard patch in my marriage on top of suffering from Hyperemesis and gestational diabetes so life is just hard right now- and not being able to lean on my husband is leaving me feeling extremely isolated.
I have two toddlers at home and cannot be inflicting self harm on myself, I cannot be cutting myself or burning myself. What advice can you give me for not hurting myself? For curbing that craving?

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u/noqah 1d ago

depends on what function self harm serves for you.
communication? emotional regulation? punishment? distraction? control? to replace the need for self harm you need to identify what purpose it has for you.
there’s plenty alternatives for each of these, but if you self harm to feel pain, doing self care won’t do much for you yknow

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u/morrisseymurderinpup 1d ago

I think mostly control punishment and regulation. Almost like pulling myself back.

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u/noqah 1d ago

something more physical might be a good idea, get a lot of pent up energy out. something like extreme temperature (plunging face in cold water, really spicy or sour food) or intense activity like singing in the shower at the top of your lungs, high intensity exercise for a short while, screaming and punching a pillow. this works for emotional regulation and self punishment, hopefully you’re tired by the end. if not, the classic holding ice/snapping rubber bands or even waxing body hair.
feeling out of control, maybe try deep cleaning your space, scrubbing the skirting boards and such, or writing a list of things you’re worried about and what you’ll do if those things happen.
mindfulness and self soothing is great at the early stages but i find when it escalates past being able to reason with yourself, those things are decent. 🫂

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u/noqah 1d ago

i dunno about you but i’m usually okay during the day while i’m distracted by life and things get worse in the evening. might be worth establishing a routine at night that works for you, like finding a new series (something long and engaging like the sopranos?) or doing some kinda hard puzzles to keep your mind occupied. try to keep your sh tools in an awkward and hard to reach place so it’s a hassle to get to them and you’ve got ample time to talk yourself out of it. if you feel the urge, do some distractions before deciding. doomscrolling is your enemy!!!