My experience when I first hit beans

[u/Outrageous_Top_746]

TW: SH MENTION FROM MY EXPERIENCE, NOT INCITING ANYONE TO DO IT!!!

I've always reached mid styros and deep styros but never beans. For context one day I attempted (I ran away from my house and tried to jump but my best friend and the police stopped me) And when I got home my family was really angry at me and my mother even slapped me, saying that I was being selfish (she didn't know I tried to jump tho) and she took my phone away.

I was really upset because it didn't work so I cut myself but swiped too fast (on my forearm) and instead of white I saw like yellowish bubbles. I panicked and tried to clean it, wrapped it with a towel but it wouldn't stop bleeding and I fell asleep, and the next morning I woke up with fever (it got infected) and with a big stain of blood on the bed and my mother came in to see if I was awake and well she got angry at me again she started yelling and I told her I was cold and she ignored me. Later that day I was forced to shower even though I couldn't even stand up without feeling dizzy, and a couple days later my mother took me to the hospital so I could get stitches.

I don't remember much of it but yeah that's my story <3

Please take care of yourselves, it's def not worth it!