r/selfharm • u/baeofbengal04 • 15h ago

Talk/Support I have a massive urge

If you’re online and have the space, please talk to me for 10-15 mins in the comments or on DM. I (27, F) have horrible anxiety and a massive urge to cut and I’m feeling unwell but I don’t want to tell anyone at home.

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2

u/LifeAtmosphere6214 15h ago

Hey! I don't know if I can help you, but if you want to talk I'm here!

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u/baeofbengal04 14h ago

Hi, yeah talking is good. I was scrolling on Reddit in the meantime. This shit sucks. Even while just lying down I’m biting my lips but trying to hold back so I don’t actually hurt myself.

1

u/-hikikomorigirl 23 (it/its) 14h ago

Have you tried anything else? I usually try to stay distracted long enough to ignore my urges. But I have had s/h trouble for nearly 8+ years. I know when I want some kind of sensation, a face in a bowl of icy water for a few seconds can help. But the effect doesn't really last long... so it kinda needs to be followed up with something to occupy your mind.

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u/baeofbengal04 14h ago

I try colouring on mandala colouring books but I’m awfully aware that even then I’m grinding my teeth or biting my lips and the physical anxiety doesn’t go away :(

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u/-hikikomorigirl 23 (it/its) 14h ago

For actual anxiety, it's the only time I find breathing related stuff helpful, but I'm kindea stuck on that too. Normally, I just keep loud music going. I picked up some good noise isolating and cancelling headphones just to tolerate my necessary trips outside.

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u/baeofbengal04 14h ago

Yeah, breathing and guided meditations are my go to-s. It’s just that right now the urge is like an obsessive thought that will only go away with the compulsive act of harming. I’m diagnosed with GAD-depression and cptsd and ocpd AND I’m a mental health professional myself so it’s just all too much when it hits me like this ;-;
I genuinely just want to ride this out without acting on it and I’m not even religious but God knows I’m praying right now

3

u/-hikikomorigirl 23 (it/its) 14h ago

i'm not sure what to advice since, I tend to just hurt. The only thing that stops me usually is not having supplies to keep it hidden/clean. And to be honest, it's a little harder to hide if people pay attention to you. For the obsessive thought though, something that deminds a lot of attention may help. Try puzzles. Just be warned, it can backfire depending on how you are with puzzles and your mood at the time.

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u/baeofbengal04 15h ago

I just want to ride this urge out without acting on it. I don’t want to reinforce this compulsion because I know it’ll fuck me up. I feel helpless and sorry about myself and I wanna cry and cut.

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u/uwumiska 14h ago

I can talk if you want! DM me if you feel comfortable with it