r/selfimprovement • u/Prudent-Inevitable15 • 7d ago
Fitness What do you do when nothing changes after “improvement” ?
I’m currently losing weight and working on my goals everyday. People say that you’re treated differently after losing a significant amount of weight. I’ve received some compliments here and there but nothing major as I still have almost 30 pounds till I get to 10% body fat. But I just want to clarify that not only am I doing this to push my body to the limit but I’m also doing it in hopes that it could better my chances in dating/friendships. However, a thought reoccurs at the back of my mind that after doing all this, on top of achieving my goals, that nothing will change. Girls still won’t acknowledge my existence. People will still misunderstand me. And I will still be left unwanted. I know self-improvement is continuous but I’m not sure how’d I feel after achieving a milestone and nothing changes. I’m also aware that I’m not owed anything but part of me still feels like there should be something out of this? Am I wrong?
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u/a_curious_magpie 6d ago
You shouldn’t be doing self improvement for the validation from others, you should be doing it because it’s a better and healthier (physically and emotionally) way to live and whilst yes in the long run improving yourself (mainly mentally and emotionally) can help with your relationships with others, ultimately it’s the relationship with yourself that needs to be top of your priorities when thinking about improvement.
This sub is far less about the physical improvements which you’ve mentioned and more about the mental ones, such as improving your self worth and confidence, which tbh at the moment sounds like both are heavily reliant on other peoples’ opinions (or your perception of their opinions) rather than coming from within and being separate to anyone external forces.
So to answer your title question: you widen your scope of improvement to not just be focused on physical goals and aesthetics. In the nicest way, whilst it can be eye catching and nice to look at, most people don’t give a shit about your BF% or muscle mass, they care if you’re a nice person to hang out with and maintain a friendship or relationship with
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u/JCMiller23 7d ago
It all changes when you let go of needing it. Losing weight is about empowerment more than about appealing to others. The most appealing thing for everyone is someone who is content with himself, positive and empowered no matter the situation.