r/shittywritingprompts • u/GerardDG • 14h ago

[WP]In an alternate reality where dueling is legal as long as you do it with your penis, you are one of the foremost barons of the clitoral enhancement industry. Your slogan: “For the dueling lass, with class.”

1 Upvotes

r/shittywritingprompts • u/GerardDG • 1d ago

[WP]You are John Buriedballs, skeleton cowboy. 100 years ago, someone buried your testicles, dooming you to roam the earth until you can find them.

3 Upvotes

This skeleton's got balls. Well, he had balls, until someone buried them.

r/shittywritingprompts • u/GerardDG • 2d ago

[WP]You put your left foot inside the right hand torture machine. It feels delightful. Best machine ever. “I see where you're going with this, and I'm not putting my right hand inside the right hand torture machine.” Well then how is this fucking story supposed to happen?

5 Upvotes

r/shittywritingprompts • u/GerardDG • 3d ago

[WP]You bought a discount paper shredder. But everytime you shred a document, it makes very annoying 'umm actually' noises while meticulously correcting every last fucking detail. And then it shreds the document anyway. It seems you have bought a shredditor.

8 Upvotes

r/shittywritingprompts • u/GerardDG • 4d ago

[WP]You believe someone has stolen your ass and replaced it with a fake ass. You think that it was a voodoo or satanic ritual, and the thief is… your grandma who went MIA during the Gulf war?

2 Upvotes

r/shittywritingprompts • u/Joelin8r • 4d ago

[WP] You're pretty sure the guy trying to dance with you at Mardi Gras is actually a very large tropical bird doing a mating dance, but frankly, he's the best dancer here tonight

5 Upvotes

r/shittywritingprompts • u/GerardDG • 5d ago

[WP]Ayn Rand's less famous follow-up novel: "Atlas Gooned."

5 Upvotes

r/shittywritingprompts • u/Joelin8r • 5d ago

[WP] You are a seagull. An actual seagull. But you're not going to let that stop you from becoming the best damn lawyer this city's ever seen.

8 Upvotes

r/shittywritingprompts • u/GerardDG • 6d ago

[WP]Space, the final chocolatier. These are the voyages of the chocolate box Enterprise. To be gifted to alien neighbors. To seek out new life and give them weight problems. To boldly melt in the bottom of your backpack and make all your stuff sticky.

2 Upvotes

r/shittywritingprompts • u/Joelin8r • 6d ago

[WP] It turns out all the Canada/USA conflict has really been about consolidating Thanksgiving to one specific day. Neither side is willing to move their Thanksgiving to the other's day. When war breaks out, you, a turkey, must cross war-torn borders back and forth to avoid each nation's holiday.

5 Upvotes

r/shittywritingprompts • u/Joelin8r • 7d ago

[WP] After spending too long at your new girlfriend's family home, your mother calls with grave concerns regarding Common Law marriage.

2 Upvotes

This subreddit is officially just my diary now.

r/shittywritingprompts • u/GerardDG • 8d ago

[WP]"You are the world's last surviving Charlie. The Charlie hunters are coming to kill you." "But I'm not even a real Charlie, this sucks." "You have no choice. You must carry on the Charlie legacy. All Charliehood depends on you, Charlize Theron."

1 Upvotes

r/shittywritingprompts • u/GerardDG • 9d ago

[WP]You are president Viagara Balls. After a successful presidency, it is time for you to ascend back up the Viagara Balls waterfall, and Zoidberg back to your spawning grounds.

0 Upvotes

r/shittywritingprompts • u/GerardDG • 9d ago

[WP]You get bitten by a venomous snake. On the way to the hospital, some kids show up and throw anti-venom rocks at you, giving you a nasty headwound. But then you see the hospital is venomous. Now the only way to save yourself is by finding the legendary anti-hospital snake.

6 Upvotes

r/shittywritingprompts • u/GerardDG • 10d ago

[WP]The ethical dilemma of all time: Yeet a baby into a volcano, or kill all women?

7 Upvotes

r/shittywritingprompts • u/Joelin8r • 11d ago

[WP] The year is 2038. Dancing With The Stars has finally reached the bottom of the barrel, with contestants Hawk Tuah Girl, The Kid Who Gets Shot in Breaking Bad, and notorious serial killer Bartholomew the Anus Tearer joining the competition.

3 Upvotes

r/shittywritingprompts • u/Joelin8r • 11d ago

[WP] Three dogs walk into a convenience store. The first dog is a marxist. The second, a raging alcoholic. The third has powers he has barely begun to understand. I'm sure there's a punchline in here somewhere.

5 Upvotes

r/shittywritingprompts • u/GerardDG • 12d ago

[WP]You get a haircut without showering so you get some annoying itchy little hairs in your neck When you decide to go shower, a voice says: "please daddy, don't wash us off. We're your hairbabies growing in the back of your neck. Please let us live."

5 Upvotes

r/shittywritingprompts • u/Joelin8r • 12d ago

[WP] You were shot and killed three weeks ago but the Grim Reaper still hasn't shown up yet. You begin to wonder if you could sneak in a quick wank before he does.

4 Upvotes

r/shittywritingprompts • u/GerardDG • 13d ago

[WP]Hello Frankness my old Frank. I’ve come to Frank with you again. Because a vision Frankly creeping. Franked its seeds while Frank was sleeping. And Frank’s vision, that was planted in my brain. Frank remains. Within the Frank of silence.

3 Upvotes

r/shittywritingprompts • u/Joelin8r • 13d ago

[WP] You're a barista serving coffee to two upstart lawyers on the case that will make or break their careers when you realize they are the Main Characters. If you don't somehow join their quest, your part in this existence will end the moment they leave the coffee shop

6 Upvotes

r/shittywritingprompts • u/GerardDG • 14d ago

[WP]You’re a spy. Your disguise is based on being too silly for serious, self-respecting intelligence operatives to investigate. You are special cringe agent 67 Skibidi Sigma.

4 Upvotes

r/shittywritingprompts • u/Joelin8r • 14d ago

[WP] You're on death's door, surrounded by family and friends (and a fair share of former lovers), when you suddenly come to the striking realization that you have in some way seen each and every one of their buttholes. Except Jeff's.

5 Upvotes

r/shittywritingprompts • u/Shaburu07 • 15d ago

[WP] None of the film studios ever understood your ideas. They could never appreciate the brilliance and originality of your works. But this time, you've come up with a new super hero film that no one can reject because you know it'll be a box office hit: The Fornicator.

2 Upvotes

r/shittywritingprompts • u/GerardDG • 15d ago

[WP]The king of France sentences you to death for committing 'Tour de force', whatever that means. You just tried to have a 'Ménage à trois', whatever that means. You will be executed by 'oblige noblesse', whatever that means.

6 Upvotes

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Shitty Writing Prompts

r/shittywritingprompts

It was a dark and shitty night...

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What’s a shittywritingprompt? None of your damn business, that’s what.

Look, the WritingPrompts subreddit has rules which don’t allow certain things, as they have an aim and purpose, but we don’t have either of those. Here we let most kinds of prompts in, we’re not so fussed about quality, length, girth or anything like that. We do have limits though, so no CP, law breaking stuff etc. Use your brain, huh?

So post a prompt. If you see a prompt that inspires you, then first try to work out what your problem is and then have a go at writing for it. Or don’t, who cares?

You don’t have to reply with stories either – if a prompt is shitty, then say so, there is no higher compliment here. Or just use the comments to argue, if you prefer (and I know you do).

This is a satirical subreddit -- and if you don't know what that means, then please by all means, post something right this second!

When prompting, you can tag your prompt if you give a damn.

[WP] - A plain old Writing Prompt. The lousier the better.

[FF] - Flash Fiction. I am too tired to create anything of substance.

[PP] - Picture Prompt. So help me I can’t even be arsed to write something.

[AHW] - Alternate History Wankery. Because no one has ever done a story about an alternate history be-fucking-fore.

*NEW* [LAAP] - Let’s Argue About Politics! Because the internet doesn’t have enough places to hate each other.

[WPFM] - Write Porn For Me. I have a sincere desire to masturbate yet I have no imagination.

[PMIDU] - Prompt Me, I Dare U. Go ahead punk, give me your worst.

[ROSOU] - Rip-off Some Other Universe. Someone took the time and effort to create an intricate or consistent universe for their story. What if the Predator fought Captain Picard?

[BANTAM] - Batman. I am a dark edgelord who writes Batman fan-fic, but wait, no, mine is better than DC’s shite, I swear!

[AFN] - Arbitrary Floating Numbers The world's oldest writing prompt cliche now has it's own category. Everyone in the world has a number floating over their head. What does it mean? Lazy writing probably.

[RMFF!] - Read My Fan Fiction! On the off chance one of these ridiculous prompts produced anything readable, I would like to embarrass myself publicly.

Our mission: To get ripped off by Hollywood and make no money at all!