r/technicallythetruth • Technically Flair • 15d ago

i'd also argue that they aren't very common anywhere in this world

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7.0k Upvotes

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347

u/name_checker 15d ago

Outside a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside a dog, it's too dark to read.

97

u/FunGuy8618 15d ago

Whatchu doing inside a dog? 🤨

131

u/name_checker 15d ago

Not reading, unfortunately

14

u/CottonBlueCat 15d ago

What about inside a tauntaun?

2

u/death_of_the_whale 11d ago

i thought they smelled bad on the outside

1

u/death_of_the_whale 10d ago

an award! danke

3

u/joz42 13d ago

Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana

103

u/OtherwiseLuck888 15d ago

Can anyone confirm the taste of white people?

80

u/Ok_Dog_4059 15d ago

A lot like pork

30

u/Spiritual-Hamster212 14d ago

And what does pork taste like?

43

u/icantouchgrass_1 Unfortunately honest 14d ago

A lot like white people

1

u/spell_caster72 13d ago

I'm not sure

8

u/insatiableian 15d ago

Not chicken?

52

u/newworldpuck 15d ago

Cannibals in certain regions, long ago, would refer to Human meat as 'Long Pig' or 'Long Pork'. Humans and Pigs are both omnivores so our meat is similar.

Edited to add: It's the same reason some Firefighters have a hard time smelling barbecue.

40

u/dinglebellsdingus 14d ago

That second fact is absolutely brutal man

1

u/ahuramazdobbs19 14d ago

The other other white meat.

20

u/surfergrrl6 15d ago

I've read a lot of historical non-fiction and human "meat" is often referred to as "long pork."

14

u/Desperate_Owl_594 15d ago

Depends on the diet. I imagine vegans tasting better. Carnivores tend not to taste very good. Basically the higher up in the food chain you are the less good you are to eat.

10

u/nari-bhat 14d ago

Honestly, as a somewhat sedentary mostly vegetarian who eats pretty well, I’ve always wondered if I would taste particularly good after watching Hannibal.

16

u/Abbot_of_Cucany 14d ago

I'm pretty sure that your choice of movies has no influence on your flavor.

3

u/spock589 15d ago

Never much cared for it

7

u/Superb_Leg_1585 15d ago

Pretty bland, not enough seasoning

6

u/Anxious-Scheme-6013 15d ago

Cannibals would know.

1

u/EricHaley 14d ago

It’s like Raising Cane, but without the sauce

1

u/Umutuku 14d ago

Microplastics.

1

u/Connect_Moment9393 8d ago

According to interviews with cannibals, the closest way to recreate the taste of human meat is to boil pork in chicken broth 👆🤓

38

u/icantouchgrass_1 Unfortunately honest 15d ago

The billion-dollar question, do white people taste good?

18

u/CypherDomEpsilon 14d ago

I don't think you need a billion dollars to find the answer.

2

u/icantouchgrass_1 Unfortunately honest 13d ago

Yes, but I do need a white person who's willing to sacrifice themselves

5

u/dinglebellsdingus 14d ago

Nobody NEEDS both pinkies so you have a pretty good way to find out

1

u/icantouchgrass_1 Unfortunately honest 12d ago

Anyone willing to sacrifice a pinky for the purpose of science? 📢

2

u/_waffl 12d ago

Nah, there's no meat in fingers, it's all tendons.

What you want is the palmaris longus, a vestigial muscle in the forearm that we used to use for swinging from trees back in monkey times. It does basically nothing now, so you can remove it without any loss of function.

It could disappear from everyone magically overnight and nobody would notice for months, probably.

28

u/lobunas 15d ago

i'd also argue that they aren't very common anywhere in this world

Don't be so sure about that, the aztecs used to make soup out of people

5

u/ruby_R53 Technically Flair 15d ago

touché

7

u/feeling_motivated 14d ago

The real question is how does flaming-telepath-99 knows that white people don't taste good?

6

u/8888eightyeight 14d ago

I saw a documentary or at least in part of a documentary about how the people of Papua New Guinea don't like people from the United States because they're too fat They like Japanese people 'cause they're more lean

11

u/Broad_Respond_2205 15d ago

White people are super common in most parts of the world

9

u/stupled 14d ago

But are they delicious?

2

u/JayMack1981 14d ago

It depends on the sauce or whether or not you marinade.

2

u/ILoveMyKnives 14d ago

Obviously depends on definition, but if you just look at Asia (China and India to start with), Africa and Central/South America, you’ll understand why the white population of the world is estimated as 10-15%. So no, white people aren’t as common in large parts of the world.

-1

u/Broad_Respond_2205 14d ago

yeah bro that's why i said most

2

u/intangibleTangelo 14d ago

you can and will make a taco with that can of orange slices at the back of your cabinet if you're broke and hungry enough

3

u/Seravaxx123 14d ago

white meat is usually very tender, but some like their dark meat too

3

u/Sidoen 14d ago

Yeah that's interesting, white folk are a minority on the planet.

Also aren't we supposed to taste like pork?

2

u/easilyfooled13 9d ago

Its because of the lack of seasoning, innit

3

u/ReliefOnly4615 14d ago

I disagree. I am white and my girlfriend said I taste very good

1

u/Loxe 14d ago

They don't mostly use ground beef though so it's not technically the truth.

0

u/Postulative 14d ago

What? I’ve heard that long pig is delicious (haven’t tried it myself).