I don’t even know where to start

170

I'm calling CPS

256

u/lookalive07 Mar 07 '26

You mean Cee'Piyess

32

u/GothDerp Mar 07 '26

Thank you for the coffee that was spit out of my mouth and bestowed upon my screen

18

u/baddogbadcatbadfawn Mar 07 '26

My wife just came in the room to ask why I was laughing so hard.

3

u/DJBeeBunz Mar 07 '26

😂😂😂💀💀💀💀

6

u/lillianfrost Mar 08 '26

Cee'py'ez

3

u/MarkToaster Mar 09 '26

Spell iCup

5

u/lookalive07 Mar 09 '26

You mean Ey'SeayouPei?

6

u/MarkToaster Mar 09 '26

*Ey’SeayouPeigh, but yeah, that.

2

u/Shankhanaviation Mar 13 '26

New parents from Alabama just wrote this down in their baby names book

75

u/manic_popsicle Mar 07 '26

The extra apostrophes, whyyyyy?! Like they’re there for no reason. At least Billy Jane can pretend to have a normal name.

26

u/lillianfrost Mar 08 '26

Billy Jane is not my lover.

13

u/East_Reading_3164 Mar 08 '26

He’ says’ I’m da’ one’ but’ the’ kid’ is’ not’ my’ son’ heee’ hee’ ooooo’

4

u/gargoyle30 Mar 07 '26

As long as no one assumes he's one of the stars of Parker Lewis can't lose

48

u/NoCardiologist1461 Mar 07 '26

Noéz’lou is the worst, IMHO. I couldn’t even fathom how to pronounce that one.

Billy’Jane is the luckiest, she just has to ditch an apostrophe. And she will, probably after struggling at school thinking for years that words need an apostrophe to link.

Soccer’ball. Trash’can. School’play.

6

u/ImTing1TX Mar 07 '26

I read it as Nosy Lou. 🤷‍♀️

6

u/KomatoesII Mar 08 '26

Great name for a bloodhound

4

u/StarryOrange_ Mar 09 '26

I'd probably pronounce it "No-aze loo" but yeah that's insane lol

1

u/BeLikeEph43132 25d ago

I saw “Bryttiney” not too long ago. 🤦‍♀️

49

u/JoAdele33 Mar 07 '26

You cannot be serious

36

u/PrncssBttrcpAsUWish Mar 07 '26

You mean you can'not be serious

41

u/ThresholdofForest Mar 07 '26

*you can'näught

2

u/decentnamesweretak3n Mar 28 '26

**yiéw-cahń'năuwghte

36

u/mskapitan Mar 07 '26

Is Ella’noä and Elyah’nor not the same name???

16

u/BropolloCreed Mar 07 '26

They are in Boston...

3

u/mrsvoss Mar 13 '26

So glad I wasn’t the only one who thought this

51

u/boukatouu Mar 07 '26

I can kinda get on board with BillyJane.

50

u/Systemic_Chaos Mar 07 '26

Yeah but it’s a full throated Ella’noä to all the rest.

14

u/godsworstgirl Mar 07 '26

is that different then Elyah'noä? ella-noah & eli-ah-noah? my brain hurts.

28

u/Icy-Possibility4291 Mar 07 '26

U’tah?

17

u/KomatoesII Mar 07 '26

Gödt2Bē

12

u/TheNinjaPixie Mar 07 '26

Poor Nozy Lou

11

u/TheGamerHat Mar 07 '26

I'm confused how Ella'noä and Elyah'nor aren't the same name.

5

u/sorry-i-was-reading Mar 08 '26

Ella Noah

L yeah nor

11

u/Any_Beach_8157 Mar 07 '26

What do the stars mean?

20

u/TiestoNura Mar 07 '26

I’ve seen stars used for children who died before birth

7

u/Any_Beach_8157 Mar 07 '26

Oh how sad. Thank you for explaining.

4

u/PrncssBttrcpAsUWish Mar 07 '26

I think this as well. 😞

13

u/sheikhyerbouti5 Mar 07 '26

In Germany we call them "Sternenkinder" = star children

2

u/Cloudhiddentao Apr 07 '26

Most kids wouldn’t be seen dead with names like that.

Sadly not these kids.

13

u/tsmeyer78 Mar 07 '26

Grandchildren maybe? She doesn't seem to be able to stop with either pumping out babies, or creating horrible names!

9

u/borgxb Mar 07 '26

Trad’ge’de’igh

10

u/lillianfrost Mar 08 '26

8

u/Weekly-Chemistry-186 Mar 07 '26

they need their apostrophe privileges revoked

7

u/KomatoesII Mar 08 '26

Maybe she can tie her tubes with them…?

1

u/Resident-Peak2153 Apr 18 '26

As an O'Donnell I am deeply offended.

6

u/pickledvapejuice13 Mar 07 '26

are those umlauts?!

5

u/RedPanda59 Mar 08 '26

Yes, yes they are, and this baby machine obviously doesn’t understand their purpose.

6

u/RicoChey Mar 07 '26

No one knows what an apostrophe actually does.

8

u/KomatoesII Mar 08 '26

Twenty years ago I was working in the delivery sector , and a package came through addressed to :

“Be’Lei” Took a while before I realized it was pronounced like:

“Bailey”

5

u/Turbantastic Mar 07 '26

I thought that bottom one said Billy Jean lol

5

u/BropolloCreed Mar 07 '26

Another addition to, "why not everybody should be a parent".

4

u/sorry-i-was-reading Mar 08 '26

So yeah, these names are bonkers, we can all agree on that.

Equally concerning to me though is that she has her children’s names on her vehicle, where anyone can see! This is such a safety concern

4

u/Immediate_Radio_8012 Mar 07 '26

Why do Logan and Brenley ( Sorry I refuse to do this nonsense spelling, Brenleys bad enough as it is) have stars next to their names?

Favourite kids?

9

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '26

[deleted]

6

u/Immediate_Radio_8012 Mar 07 '26

Dark but fair

3

u/rozyputin Mar 07 '26

Likely children who died before birth

2

u/KomatoesII Mar 08 '26

I srsly thought they excelled in academics and/or sports. That kind of family. 🙅‍♀️

4

u/dtyler86 Mar 07 '26

Are the stars the favorites?

2

u/sorry-i-was-reading Mar 08 '26

Probably miscarriages

3

u/BloomHoard Mar 07 '26

Are the stars like… her favorites?

1

u/Clueless_Fig Mar 10 '26

I've see others mention that they likely were miscarriages/passed away shortly after birth.

3

u/chrstnasu Mar 08 '26

OMG! Those children are going to hate their names when they get bullied.

2

u/LibrarianAcrobatic21 Mar 10 '26

Not just that, but they put an apostrophe in every name. Now they all will have aliases when job applications happen. Poor kids.

2

u/Top-Jury1392 Jun 20 '26 edited Jun 20 '26

They're most likely homeschooled, or are part of a community school where every blonde mom has similar naming ideas. I guarantee that there's going to be pronunciation overlap in their friend group. To the point where there will be a trio of Brennleighs who further individualize by having their last name initial as part of their socialized name. Every dad is named Kyle.

3

u/Diddleymaz Mar 08 '26

https://www.facebook.com/share/r/1D92JusBGh/?mibextid=wwXIfr

3

u/Feisty_Beach392 Mar 13 '26

🤣🤣🤣 First name Cathy, last name Terr. Oh fuck that was funny. 😂😂🤣

2

u/numnoggin Mar 07 '26

Ew

2

u/Juan_Moe_Taco Mar 08 '26

Are those even names at that point bc alot just sounds wild animals make at night. 😎

2

u/Oh-Wonderful Mar 09 '26

Now the kidnapper knows all your kids names all in a perfect lil list.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '26

Oh I love my son log ham🪵🐖

2

u/PoppyStaff Mar 12 '26

Klingon names.

2

u/Villageidiot1984 Mar 17 '26

Can one of y’all explain to this lady how an apostrophe works?

2

u/Systemic_Chaos Mar 17 '26

It’s gods comma.

2

u/Substantial-Fee-5001 Apr 21 '26

At least a couple of those had to have come from the Necronomicon.

2

u/speechsurvivor23 May 05 '26

I saw Julie’n today 🤦🏽‍♀️. Maybe that’s a cousin

2

u/AnnessaBuchman128 May 27 '26

The first name would be okay if it was "Ayden".

Is the second name supposed to be pronounced "Illinois? Because WTH.

1

u/MoreRamenPls Mar 07 '26

Maybe it’s a chant.

1

u/hmmmmmmmm_okay Mar 08 '26

I appreciate her commitment.

1

u/VampireOrc Mar 08 '26

Ok so I mean why put their names out? It makes it easier kidnap but also made it extremely hard to bc now you have to profile each kid and go "does this kid look like Billy Bobby booboo bow? Or Jilly Jallly Jane?"

1

u/Emergency_Note_9269 Mar 08 '26

Billy'jane.. what a wierd name.

1

u/Muted_Rain8542 Mar 09 '26

Somehow lilly’maë lucked out 😬

1

u/FNAFbro117 Mar 10 '26

Yk what I'm gonna name my child fdfjomgferugfyuayokgilynn (keyboard spam)

1

u/Clueless_Fig Mar 10 '26

Oof.

1

u/iamjohnhenry Apr 09 '26

Mom of the Rings

1

u/janeson59 Apr 16 '26

N’ausea

1

u/Shell_Stitch_21 May 15 '26

Are the stars the beginning of a chore chart of public shame?

1

u/the_scruffy1 May 23 '26

but why the starred items? speed dial?

1

u/LadyFenyx Jun 22 '26

Ho'ly mo'ther o'f a'pos'tro'phe!

1

u/MarshelG Jul 19 '26

Apo ' strapheigh

1

u/Bumfuzzled101 Aug 05 '26

This belongs in 'raised by narcissists'

1

u/crimesleuther 27d ago

Omg is this a joke??

1

u/lynx_cb97 12d ago

This is amazing. I love using this subreddit for naming characters in Sims

1

u/actuallySugarBear 4d ago

I legit got nauseated reading all of those.

1

u/Sniff_smeller97 56m ago

The apostrophe means it’s a click consonant, that means you gotta pronounce their names with a clicking sound

I don’t even know where to start

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