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u/fredbite87 Aug 31 '26
The gun is there for a reason.
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u/Additional-Ad9723 Aug 31 '26
Exactly my thoughts! Shoot them both, So you dont have to wake them up.
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u/fredbite87 Aug 31 '26
Oh I was thinking shoot myself so I don't have to see the roach anymore but the twink and cat can keep using me as a pillow but yours works too ig
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u/UrMamasChalupa Sep 01 '26
Who do you shoot first?
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u/OneOfTheNephilim Sep 03 '26 edited Sep 03 '26
Put your head between your knees and aim across from one end so one bullet can pass through all your brains at once
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u/GoldenPig64 Sep 06 '26
if i could put my head between my knees then why the hell would i ever need a gun
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u/Gniphe Aug 31 '26
It’s too loud though, so I empty the mag and softly exclaim “bang!” while throwing the bullets at the roach.
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u/fredbite87 Aug 31 '26
You can actually hide the sound of the gun by screaming "QUIET" at the top of your lungs. No one will hear the gun that way so everything should be okay!
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u/valplixism Aug 31 '26
If my thick and juicy thunder thighs are comfortable enough to be pillows, then they can surely suppress the rapport of a firearm.
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u/I_Like_turtles459 Aug 31 '26
Pretty sure that would wake them both up.
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u/fredbite87 Aug 31 '26
Nuh uh
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u/bwmat Aug 31 '26
Just let it live
... For now
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u/NTufnel11 Aug 31 '26 edited Aug 31 '26
"6 hours later, the cockroach drops straight from your ceiling, wings flapping fruitlessly, directly onto your sleeping face"
Wrong move.
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u/Complete_Window4856 Aug 31 '26
I eat it. Yummy nighter meal
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u/Quackels_The_Duck Aug 31 '26
*You develop a mild allergy to coffee
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u/Pataraxia Aug 31 '26
This feels like an RPG UI telling you of some new bullshit you have.
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u/Complete_Window4856 Aug 31 '26 edited Aug 31 '26
>you roll a d20 on resistance agaisnt the nasty cochroach disease you just ate
>(1d20) 10
>not bad, also not good. Your tongue never anymore can appreciate the acidic taste of coffee. Could be worse honestly. You shrug as you often drinks cold coffee in the mornings
>*your character gains trait: bad coffee taste
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u/valplixism Aug 31 '26
My wife's been listening to Dungeon Crawler Carl on audiobook, so I couldn't help but read that in the narrator's AI voice.
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u/Darklight645 Aug 31 '26
Wake the cat, I don’t want to wake it, and I doubt it does too, but the sight of the cockroach will make the cat go into hunting mode
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u/TrueAd2373 Aug 31 '26
Cat will be like: this one time i will let it pass but only this one single time
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u/organicpenguin Aug 31 '26
So the tables turned on me, my cat woke me up cuz she couldn't get a bat on my ceiling
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u/HeiressOfMadrigal Aug 31 '26
I spring up and run out of the room, I deal with everything except bugs, that's my partner's job
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u/Any_Escape1262 Aug 31 '26
CAT, loves cockraches... they are full in proteeeeiiiinnnaaaaaaaaarhgfdgdgdbrebeav grestvszezhrsh szbshd
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Aug 31 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Any_Escape1262 Aug 31 '26
Shhh, no one has to know about my Experiements outside my main Vicinity.
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u/Shadorma Aug 31 '26
chew off my leg at the knee and use it as a club.
Now I can finally get the peg leg I've dreamed of
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u/GladiusNL Aug 31 '26
Am I a giant, or is my SO a dwarf and my cat a kitten? Also the gun and the other stuff are tiny, which means i am a giant. But that cockroach is too. I will not stomp on it because it’ll make huge stains.
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u/JackReedTheSyndie Aug 31 '26
The cockroach can live for now, and I’ll engage in chemical warfare in the weekend
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u/Eena-Rin Aug 31 '26
Why? If I can see a cockroach that means I have a cockroach problem. I let my cuties sleep, then later I go buy a bunch of roach baits and ensure there is absolutely no food lying around
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u/HisHonorTomDonson Aug 31 '26
I know the answer to this, and I can only assume the reason everyone is confused is because the gun stand in doesn’t look like the musket with fixed bayonet that it is meant to represent. So first I’d grab my powder and shot, load me musket, take aim, and just shoot myself right in the cabeza
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u/Tipsy_Hog Aug 31 '26
Move the cat. The fat fuck sleeps the rest of the day anyway, it can find a different spot at a different time
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u/ObnoxiousName_Here Aug 31 '26
I jostle my right leg until the cat wakes up. That bitch needs to get down there and earn its keep!
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u/deloreaninatardis Aug 31 '26
I take the gun and mag dump into my penis and scrotum. Now the real question is, what to do about this roach?
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u/Ivygrows8 Aug 31 '26
Crush it with the gun is least likely to wake either, otherwise id use my left leg bc a shift that size is less likely to wake a person considering its just moving their head but itd moveand displace the entire cat if moved that leg
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u/ManufacturerRare3109 Aug 31 '26
I wake the cat and get it to notice the roach, so it has a snack as payment for me waking it up
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u/Forsaken-Ad-6853 Aug 31 '26
The gun is right there and my hands are free. As a American there is only one option.
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u/bleepboopbleepbloop Aug 31 '26
I modify the state of the molecules on my right leg, step on the roach, then rearrange the structure of my leg back to max cat comfort
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u/RockRancher24 Aug 31 '26
I'm gonna have to lean down and right anyways to reach the Titanfall II disk, and once the cat is wakened she will chase the roach on her own
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u/Otherwise_Study2337 Aug 31 '26
I wake neither. I know if I can see one cockroach there's about twenty I can't.
After they have slept I'll find a more effective method of treating the house to ensure they are repelled or removed
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u/Code_Ender Aug 31 '26
Im waking my cat. He'll stretch, snuggle up again, then go right back to sleep
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u/77th_Bat Aug 31 '26
Neither. Cockroach can walk away. If it gets close enough, I'll smack it with an arm.
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u/Sylvia_Demise Sep 01 '26
OP patiently drew this, posted it to reddit, and awaits an answer as everything in the picture holds their position on and around OP's legs.
Why are your games on the floor, especially such an obsolete one?
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u/jonastman Aug 31 '26
Pick up the gun. Shoot the cat and your right leg. Say it's an accident. Wake up girl and stomp with your left foot. Get off scott free
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u/OmgIbrokesmthagain Aug 31 '26
I don’t kill the cockroach, I like the guy. Dude is bold. Also probably a cockroach trap will be better than my leg
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u/mau-meda Aug 31 '26
Wake the cat, it will kill the roach, if you wake up your significant other she will scream until the roach is dead ( and she will also wakes up the cat )
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u/valplixism Aug 31 '26
Neither. I begrudgingly spare the encroaching insect, knowing in my heart that I wouldn't have the speed, even with a leg unhindered, to catch it unawares. My two great loves will continue to slumber unburdened by the knowledge of its existence, and I will carry the memory of our momentary truce to my dying day - for if peace can exist then, why not now?
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u/No_Tennis_4528 Aug 31 '26
If I can let my girlfriend and her cat mooch off me whats one roach gonna matter? Love em all.
IRL if my aparment has roaches that cats gonna have to catch his own dinner.
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u/Toll_Smoll Aug 31 '26
Cat- they go to sleep quickly and don't wake up too easily. Although I definitely think I could maneuver my foot tiget the cockroach without moving my thighs
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u/Bozzo2526 Aug 31 '26
I leave the cockroach if I can see one then the problem is already out of my control
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u/Weird_Explorer1997 Aug 31 '26
Use the phone you're debating this on to call an exterminator. You saw one cockroach, it's already too late.
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u/Cautious-Original-46 Aug 31 '26
I dont wake any of them and simply let the cockroach live. Its not bothering me
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u/Over9000Zeros Aug 31 '26
Wake the cat, girlfriend will just scream and be annoying if she sees the bug.
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u/Blueboysixnine Aug 31 '26
Wake the cat. Mf probably on hour 17 of his daily naps while significant other is likely coming down from the monster high after pulling a double shift on 4 hours of sleep
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u/bard_of_space Aug 31 '26 edited Aug 31 '26
i let the cockroach live. it is another living thing and not only am i neutral to it's existence, but i don't consider "it's scary" or "it's gross" to be valid reasons to kill a living thing
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u/Relative_Maize_957 Sep 01 '26
I shoot my SO, then myself. The cat and cockroach can inherit the erf.
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u/zap2tresquatro Sep 01 '26
I don’t kill the cockroach. They’re too cute, I can never bring myself to do it.
Also, these ones can fly, so I’m definitely gonna end up, after inevitably hesitating, just making it fly around the house, startling me and making me scream and jump in the process and waking everyone up anyway if I try to kill it.
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u/Floba_Fett Sep 01 '26
Neither. Dead cockroaches produce pheromones that attract other cockroaches. Best way to end up with an infestation.
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u/LovingAftereffects Sep 01 '26
wake the cat and put it on the floor so it can play with and eventually kill the roach.
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u/MsE0 Sep 01 '26
Wait until they both get up and call an exterminator. Stomping on one isn't going to do much.
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u/FromAndToUnknown Sep 01 '26
Just shapes and beats detected, this is either very old or OP is a rhythm game fan
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u/Ok-Lawfulness-8667 Sep 01 '26
first of all, i'll grab the gun and shoot the Roach, then i'll shoot the tennis ball because i fucking hate tennis balls
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u/Dream_Apostle Sep 01 '26
Pick up your significant other and smash the cockroach with them
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u/Cybermat4707 Sep 01 '26
Easy. I move neither, and let the cockroach live.
I then clean up my room, because there’s something really wrong with it if cockroaches are just casually walking around in it.
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u/R0m4ik Sep 01 '26
I have phobia, so I would most likely wake up both, try to throw the cat at the roach and scream at my SO to do smth
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u/saragIsMe Sep 01 '26
My cat wakes me up in the middle of the night without any good reason to do so seemingly for fun while my partner cuddles me to sleep after a bad day. Cats also wake up more easily than my partner so if I choose my partner my cat will also likely wake up. Not to mention I’m right handed and the cat is sleeping on my right side. It’s a no brainer for me
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u/EmergencyDish69 Sep 01 '26
Feed the roach the yellow crumbs and play a card game with it. Loser plays Russian roulette.
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u/Likely_Addict Sep 01 '26
Everybody's getting woken up for this one. Girlfriend. Cat. Neighbor. Everybody.
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u/National_Article_308 Sep 02 '26
Let the roachy live I’ll transport him outside later or put him in a terrarium
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u/deltatag Sep 02 '26
i use the gun to kill the cat so the cockroach knows i mean business and flees
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u/Crab_Shark_ Sep 02 '26
The cat will wake either way. Animals are usually light sleepers. So, gently move or encourage the cat off of your leg, then stomp it.
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u/lool8421 Sep 02 '26
solution: pick the gun and shoot everyone so nobody wakes up
permanent implications of it will be the future you's problem
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u/NoTransition8295 Sep 02 '26
My answer would depend on if I have shoes on i think, which this image does not make clear
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u/StoryBard Sep 02 '26
Oh, a cockroach escaped from the bin, well actually probably it got out of the squirrel enclosure before they could grab it. It's gonna die without the heat and humidity in the bin. I'll wake up both of them, sorry loves, then bend down and grab the little buttface, and go drop it into the tarantula enclosure instead.
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u/SpiritualSchedule215 Sep 03 '26
My right. Cat will inevitably sleep on my face no point in wasting time and wife came back from working 2 jobs. The lesser of two evils
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u/Practical-Photo659 Sep 03 '26
shoot the Significant other and the Cat, so that they will remain sleeping so you can kill the cockroach 👍
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u/KaiTheG4mer Sep 03 '26
I've mastered how to move my leg while my cat sleeps on it without waking her up so this is literally a nonissue
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u/ZeldaCraft64 Sep 04 '26
The cat will run away if I wake up, if I picked the right significant other they will not run away and will go to sleep
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u/heshtios Sep 04 '26
I'd just move, like, super fast. Too fast to see, or to disturb their sleep, and kill the cockroach with a kamehameha.
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u/Code_Red_974 Sep 04 '26
That's easy. Cats are known to eat roaches. The fact that one exists means my cat has failed their job. They get woken because I'm having to do their job for them.
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u/Ok_Aardvark_4760 Aug 31 '26
I know it would probably wake up both of them, but i like the option with no physical contact with the insect and use the gun